Yuri Hero and Loli Demon King - Chapter 04

This is a Role-Playing Game world, which simply put, is an RPG.

My name is Tapfer, and I am this world’s Hero. However… I have no desire to defeat the Demon King!

Since we “didn’t manage to steal” the map, and both of us lack any sense of direction, we accidentally wandered into a forest on our way back.

It was a forest filled with lush low-altitude plants. Seeing the density of these trees, one can’t help but use sarcasm: Why did we enter this forest in the first place?

Getting from open grassy plains into a forest like this suggests not just being clueless, but having an element of foolishness too.

“How could you not know the way?” the foolish Shrine Maiden complained to the foolish Hero.

“When I came, I used a Teleportation Spell, so I don’t know the way,” Tapfer deliberately avoided mentioning the word “Demon King.”

“Teleportation Spell?” Rei glanced skeptically at Tapfer beside her. “Can you really use such a skill?”

“Of course not! It was a passing Mage who helped with that!” The Hero used a skill: Convincing Bluff!

Rei wore a look that seemed to say “Oh? Is that so?” It appeared to have worked in deceiving her successfully.

Now that I think about it, since when did I have a skill like Convincing Bluff?

While Tapfer continued pondering such trivial matters (the main problem right now was getting out of the forest), Rei, who was walking ahead, suddenly stopped, causing a distracted Tapfer to bump right into her.

Before any questions could be asked, Rei explained the reason for stopping on her own: “We’re surrounded.”

Surrounded?What are we surrounded by? My adoring fans?

Just as Tapfer was wondering this, a group of short, weak, hunched creatures suddenly emerged around them. They looked mostly human except for their grayish-white skin.

Hmm… I hope they’re not fans.

“Rei, what are these?”

“Troll,” Rei said, her expression tense and serious. “Level 4, weak to fire.”

Only Level 4? Seriously, is she making this face just to scare me?

“The Troll King, Level 10, also weak to fire.”

Only Level 10, and isn’t this witch supposed to be great at the fireball spell?

By the way, the difference between Troll and the Troll King is this: goblins have bald heads, while the Troll King has a single hair—so is this literally a hairline difference?

But the main reason for Rei’s serious expression seems not to be these bald creatures, but rather…

Tapfer shifted her gaze to where Rei was looking. There stood a creature completely different from these goblins. If one had to liken it to something, it’d be like a cat among a crowd of people.

Yes, a cat! A tall, pale-haired man with cat ears on top, dressed in something like a butler’s outfit, swishing a fluffy tail.

Is this really a monster?

“An unknown creature, estimated to be at boss level.” Although speaking, Rei’s gaze never left the cat-like figure.

“Nice to meet you. My name is PalidoLobo, the steward of the Demon King Castle.”

Upon hearing “unknown creature,” the figure introduced himself and bowed deeply.

Rei quickly scanned the surroundings with her eyes to confirm there were no other hidden enemies before fixating on the cat again. “So, Mr. Cat Butler, what do you intend to do?”

“I’m a wolf!” protested the cat-like figure.

“Let me ask you, are you my Master?” Rei abruptly asked, seemingly out of context.

“I’m a wolf, not Shirou!” the cat butler protested again.

To suddenly go from such seriousness to bantering with a monster – that’s impressive.

The butler dropped his previous smile, speaking in a tone that carried a threat: “I’m here to warn you not to even think about harming the Demon King.”

“What do you mean?” Tapfer inquired.For some unknown reason, a high-level monster from the Demon King Castle has come all this way to warn us, two low-level characters. No matter how I think about it, this is unusual.

“You!” The butler pointed at the girl with the golden hair. “You have the scent of ‘my’ Yui-Chan on you!”

“Ah…” Tapfer’s face turned red instantly.

Is it perhaps the lingering scent from a kiss?

At this moment, completely ignoring the situation, Rei made a dangerously bold statement: “What if we insist on challenging the Demon King?”

Archmage Miss, have some pity for me, and don’t try to provoke a war! You can unleash your power, but I can’t!

“Then I’ll kill you now to eliminate future threats!”

With a roar, the man in front of them transformed from his human guise into a white wolf, yet it wasn’t an ordinary wolf—rather, it was a Winged Wolf with two pairs of wings, each at least five meters in length.

Is this his true form?

Tapfer’s expression turned dazed, and she unconsciously stepped back a few paces. By the time she realized she was retreating, she was already several meters away.

In contrast, Rei did not move back. From Tapfer’s perspective, it was unclear what expression Rei had—was it fear, or perhaps…

“Out of loyalty to the Demon King?” A sweet smile. Even without seeing it, one could be sure her expression was a sweet smile.

“No, it’s loyalty to my own soul.”

With that, he let out a howl powerful enough to shake the space around them.

This isn’t good, this monster seems formidable!

“Loyalty to my lolicon soul!”

…

This monster… doesn’t seem strong at all! Is he just here to mess around!?

What’s with the lolicon soul? In what world would a boss-level monster say such absurd lines?!

“Lolicon?” Rei covered her mouth, definitely hiding a laugh. “It’s too bad I don’t understand, since I’m a siscon.”

So you’re a siscon, huh? Wait, now isn’t the time to discuss what you’re into!”No, no, a sister with a loli trait is even better,” after expressing his preference, Lober asked, “Do you like older sisters?”

“I think an older sister with a mature charm isn’t bad either.”

I’ve said it before, this is not the time to discuss your preferences!

Can’t you read the room…

I’ve had enough; how much more ridiculous are you going to twist the plot?

“You two, aren’t you mistaken about something…?”

Unable to listen anymore and forgetting the danger around them, Tapfer interrupted, “Isn’t loli yuri, mature sister yuri, and sister yuri even better!?”

No, that wasn’t even a real interruption…

“A loli yuri is two lolis, the impact is definitely doubled! A mature sister yuri is also between two mature women, that impact shouldn’t be underestimated either! If you’re a siscon, having an older sister into sister yuri isn’t even better?”

Maybe Tapfer is the one who’s most out of touch here?

Hearing Tapfer’s words, Rei spoke with a disdainful look, “No wonder you always look at me with perverted eyes…”

“I don’t!” Tapfer immediately rebutted.

“Last time, you spilled slime’s mucus on me.”

“When did that happen!? Don’t mess with the readers’ memories like that!”

Even though Tapfer denied it, she couldn’t help imagining—

The slime mucus slowly slid down Rei’s body due to gravity, slipping into her top and skirt. The moisture made the pure white clothing gradually transparent, revealing hints of skin underneath… No, if I think about it more, I’m going to lose it!

Rei continued to mess with the readers’ memories, “A few days ago, during a theft in the village, you took my first time when no one was around.”

“I didn’t steal anything like that!” By the way, what was stolen was 13 HP Potions, 15 MP Potions, 9 Antidotes, and 3000 coins.

Even though Tapfer made a sarcastic comment—

‘Since you stole so many potions, why not steal my ‘O’ potion too?’ said Rei as she stood in an empty house. I couldn’t resist this demon’s temptation, lifted her skirt, and then… No, if I keep thinking about it, I’m really going to lose it!

Tapfer desperately stopped her imagination, took a deep breath to calm herself down a little.

“And you were pulling on my sealing band, saying you wanted to try bondage play.” Just as she calmed down a bit, she heard this comment.

“I have no such hobby!” Tapfer quickly denied.

So sealing bands can be used that way?Tapfer thought to herself, and then—

“Tapfer, please, don’t pull like that!” The girl pleaded with a somewhat pitiful expression, but I didn’t stop. Instead, I tugged even harder. The straps sank into sensitive areas, and simultaneously, the girl emitted several sounds that couldn’t form into words… Enough!

I can’t go on like this—my imagination is going to make me die of blood loss. Is this the self-cast version of the Yuri skill?

Unaffected by my struggles, Rei continued her own narrative, “And also…”

“If you keep talking, it’s going to become inappropriate for all ages!”

To prevent the plot from heading in a strange direction and to avoid dying of blood loss, I halted her delusions.

“I can’t help it, without my glasses, I start imagining things,” Rei remarked.

Rei, stop using random anime tropes!

Come to think of it, it seems like it’s been me imagining things from the start… Maybe I should consider getting a pair of glasses?

No, this is not the time to be sarcastic with myself; I should aim my sarcasm outward. So, I quipped at Rei, “You weren’t wearing glasses from the beginning, were you?”

“I have a strong presence even without glasses,” she said confidently.

“…” That’s not a matter of presence, is it?

“In some ways, I have more presence than you as a Hero.” Saying this, Rei confidently glanced at a flat part of Tapfer’s body.

“Don’t stare at someone else’s chest and say that!” Tapfer protested.

“A flat chest is justice!” a certain wolf suddenly interjected, howling once more.

“You perverted wolf, shut up!” Tapfer and Rei shouted in unison, “This is a war between women!”

That’s right, due to the Battle Against the Big Bust Empire (Tapfer getting bullied), a world war has erupted!

“Listen well,” Rei’s expression was far more serious than before, “In the chest Olympics, a single millimeter can make all the difference!”

“Hmph, you should see this first!” In fact, my chest can… “Bankai—!”

“Impossible, how can there be such a tiny Bankai…?” Rei exclaimed in surprise.

“Don’t say such poisonous parody lines! What do you mean by such a tiny Bankai, it’s really hurtful!”

As they argued over such an important issue to women, a clueless Troll suddenly attacked. The other surrounding Trolls noticed and joined the attack as well.”How rude!”

Rei raised her hand and released five or six fireballs.

While she was casting the spell, the Troll King extended its sharp claws to attack her.

“Rei—!!”

I reached out my hand, wanting to push her away, but everything was too late…

Everything went dark.

“Skill, ‘Fleeing as the Best Option Level 1’ activated!”

In the darkness, I seemed to hear such a voice.

In the dark, I seemed to feel warmth, and was something soft as well?

“……”

I slowly opened my eyes, and since I hadn’t adjusted to the light yet, everything was blurry.

As my vision gradually cleared, I saw… Rei beneath me!

What is going on here? Did the skill really activate the moment I pushed Rei, and I actually succeeded in pushing her down… But how did we end up in this position, is this a chest pillow? No wonder I felt such warmth and softness in the darkness before, it turns out it was a chest pillow!

If she finds out, I’m dead… Her terrifying sweet smile flashed in my mind.

“As expected, a pervert…”

Rei had woken up at some point and said this upon discovering Tapfer lying on her.

“No, it’s not what you think!” I initially defended myself, then changed the subject: “By the way, where is this place?”

“Here, there, everywhere.”

“……” I didn’t know where to start with my sarcasm: “Answer me seriously!”

“A hotel.”

“Oh, so it’s…”

Wait…

“A hotel—!?”

Why are we in a hotel, I don’t remember being a pervert who’d book a room with Rei!”Why are you so surprised? Isn’t this perfectly normal?”

“Normal where!?”

Why would it be normal for me to sleep in a hotel with you? What kind of world considers that normal? The Yuri Hero’s world?

“After the escape skill was activated, it transported us to the nearest village inn,” she explained. “Isn’t that common knowledge?”

“But why an inn…?”

“In most villages, the respawn point is the inn, right?”

I’m too tired to be sarcastic about this setting…

“Why are you so surprised?” she asked, flashing her signature sweet smile. “Could it be that you plan to. commit. a crime?”

Why emphasize those words like that! Do I really look like some kind of twisted hero ready to commit crimes at any moment?

Tapfer shook her head vigorously, denying it in her heart.

“It’s okay! Whatever the hero does, as long as it’s under the banner of justice…”

“What kind of justice is that!”

This witch definitely has a victim complex.

After leaving the inn, I started feeling a bit hungry.

“Probably because you used a skill!” Rei explained.

“Oh, it’s because of the skill.” Tapfer pulled out a bottle of MP Potion, drank it, and then spat it out!

“So bitter, is there such a bitter potion? It tastes like urine!”

“Is urine bitter?” Rei looked at Tapfer with a strange expression and asked, “Have you tasted it?”

No, this isn’t the right place for sarcasm…

“Why don’t we go buy some tea instead,” Rei suggested.

“Wait, tea can replenish me too?”

Why didn’t you say so earlier?

Suddenly I felt like selling all the potions and buying a ton of tea.

“But tea replenishes less!” she added.

It’s fine, as long as it tastes good. Even if something replenishes a lot, if I can’t stand the taste, it’s useless.Arriving at the small, cramped store, I really wondered where they kept all the stock. Could it be in a four-dimensional pocket?

– Black Tea: Restores 35 HP, 50 Yuan.
– Green Tea: Restores 35 MP, 50 Yuan.
– Matcha: Causes annihilation, 50 Yuan.

Looking over the tea product list, wait a minute, what’s with the matcha! Drinking it leads to annihilation!?

“Because it’s matcha, so drinking it results in annihilation,” the shop owner explained.

“Does matcha have the ‘match’ character because it causes annihilation?”

What kind of strange setting is this? I mean, who would buy something like this?

“The main ingredient is water squeezed out from a rag used to wipe the floor.”

“That’s just plain sewage!”

Drinking this would definitely be deadly; only fools would buy such a thing!

“Boss, give me 20 bottles of matcha.”

Looks like I’ve found an idiot!

“Why are you buying matcha, you stupid witch!”

Despair, I feel utter despair about the journey ahead!