Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 169

Chapter 169: Beginning In the Rain, Ending In the Rain

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“The moon in my heart, the person in my heart…” Xia Ruoming softly repeated Xu Fengwu’s words, as if speaking to herself.

Although several months had passed, Xu Fengwu still responded to her words from that time in a unique way.

Back then, Xia Ruoming had said, ‘Actually, the moonlight on the rooftop that night was more beautiful than now, but Fengwu, you left too hastily without looking back even once. Now the moon is no longer the moon of that day, and we can’t go back to who we were then.’

What Xia Ruoming said actually meant the moon was no longer the moon in her heart, and the person was no longer the person in her heart. But Xu Fengwu approached her again when she was most uncertain and lost, telling her that tonight’s moonlight was also beautiful.

The moon remains the moon in her heart, and the person remains the person in her heart.

Since she couldn’t let go anyway, why not turn back and look once more? — It was An Jinrou’s words that made Xia Ruoming begin to feel uneasy. She had been trying very hard to forget about her previous life, attempting to avoid those things from her previous life that had made her fall into the abyss. Those resolute words and that casual attitude while chatting with Ji Chuan were just her pretending to be strong.

No matter how far she went, she could never become a different person. She would always be Xia Ruoming.

For the first time after her rebirth, Xia Ruoming earnestly gazed into Xu Fengwu’s eyes. Her eyes were still as she remembered them, seeming to reflect brilliant stars, making the night sky completely incomparable to her beautiful eyes.

“Ruo…ming?” Xu Fengwu looked at the dazed Xia Ruoming and couldn’t help but reach out to touch her cheek. At that moment, Xu Fengwu realized that Xia Ruoming had been crying all along, but the dim light had prevented her from seeing it. Just like how she had never seen how good Xia Ruoming had been to her in the past.

When she touched Xia Ruoming’s cheek, she felt a warm wetness pass through her fingers and slide down her arm.

That was the first time she had seen Xia Ruoming cry. It turned out this athletic girl wasn’t as strong as she had imagined. Before, she had always thought Xia Ruoming would never be hurt no matter what happened.

“I thought I would never show such an embarrassing side of myself to you in this life.” Seemingly sensing Xu Fengwu’s emotional change, Xia Ruoming wiped away the tears on her face and said to Xu Fengwu with a bitter smile.

“Why? Is it because you like me and don’t want me to worry about you, or because you now hate me and don’t want me to see your not-so-good side?” Xu Fengwu said softly beside Xia Ruoming.

“Maybe… both. Even I’m confused and don’t know which path is the right one.” Xia Ruoming said somewhat absent-mindedly.

An Jinrou had only told her that looking back could be a new path, but hadn’t told her whether this path was right or not.

When Xia Ruoming first reborn, she thought about not torturing herself for another lifetime, but after some time, she felt that since she had been reborn anyway, everything in this world was in her grasp, wasn’t it? Her future path was completely under her control.

But reality told her that not everything could go exactly as she wished.

Just like now, Xu Fengwu hadn’t parted ways with her from that day as she had imagined, but was still standing beside her, fingers tightly interlocked with hers.

“It’s okay… Ruoming, isn’t the brush that paints the future in your hands? Perhaps in your confusion, you might create a new life?” Xu Fengwu gripped her hand tighter again.

“Really?” Xia Ruoming shook her head, though it was a questioning tone, the bitterness on her face wouldn’t disappear.

“Yes, if it’s you, Ruoming, you definitely will…”

Hearing Xu Fengwu’s answer, Xia Ruoming just stared blankly at the sky, asking herself in her heart as well — really?

After a long while, Xia Ruoming took off the hair tie from her ponytail and threw it off the cliff.

“Ruoming, what are you doing? Throwing things from high places and littering in the wild isn’t good, you know.” Xu Fengwu seemed to see through Xia Ruoming’s heart and made a small joke.

After all, even comedy needs someone to play along, otherwise Xia Ruoming might not have been willing to explain why.

Xia Ruoming also seemed to be cheered up by Xu Fengwu, genuinely chuckling a couple of times.

Actually, Xia Ruoming had always kept short hair originally. She only grew her long hair because Xu Fengwu once said she looked better with long hair. After her rebirth, she tied it in a ponytail, just to say goodbye to the past, not only to her past with Xu Fengwu but also to her past with Jiang Ruhua.

Thinking about it now, maybe she wasn’t really that determined. Just as An Jinrou said, she had only forced herself to temporarily forget the thoughts in her heart, she only thought she had let go.

If she had been that determined, perhaps she would have just cut off her long hair in one go…

“I should have known earlier, if it was a love divination, then wouldn’t the things that couldn’t be obtained also be part of ‘love’?” Xia Ruoming still looked at the night sky decorated with stars and clouds, but there was more resignation in her tone, different from her usual self.

“What divination?” Xu Fengwu asked puzzledly.

“An Jinrou, her prophecies are still as accurate as ever…” Xia Ruoming said slowly, “I really hope that one day her prophecies won’t be so accurate.”

The rain seemed to have no intention of stopping, instead getting heavier.

“Ruoming, the rain is very heavy now, it’s time for us to go back.” Xu Fengwu took off her outer coat and covered it over Xia Ruoming’s head.

“Yes… it’s time for us to go back.” Xia Ruoming seemed to sigh again, then took off Xu Fengwu’s coat and covered it over Xu Fengwu’s head — just as she had done for Xia Ruoming.

“Let’s go, you’d better not get rained on.” Xia Ruoming said softly, “Taking care of you just once was enough to make me worry, don’t let it happen again.”

Xu Fengwu didn’t pick up on Xia Ruoming’s words, just quietly linked arms with Xia Ruoming as they slowly walked forward in the rain.

“So, if you choose this way, won’t your good friend be angry?” As they walked in the rain, Xia Ruoming suddenly seemed to remember something and asked teasingly.

“Her? She went to find something that matches her.” Xu Fengwu answered indifferently, as if this friend who had always been by her side in her previous life had now become completely unimportant to her.

Although Xia Ruoming was somewhat surprised, she didn’t ask anything more. Perhaps this was also part of fate.

……

……

In the Ye family villa.

Ye Xue, who was playing chess with Ye Han, suddenly felt something heating up in her arms.

Remembering what it was, Ye Xue took it out and quietly looked at it. The originally platinum-colored Judgment Tarot card had somehow dimmed considerably, its luster long gone.

Seeing Ye Xue’s sudden strange behavior, Ye Han couldn’t help but ask: “Sister, what’s wrong?”

Ye Xue just shook her head without speaking, but her lips moved slightly.

Ye Han didn’t understand what her sister meant, but if one understood lip reading, perhaps they could understand what Ye Xue was saying — “Congratulations, ‘little sister’, in this life, you must live differently from others.”

After placing the ‘pawn’ chess piece on the back rank, Ye Xue just quietly said, “Little sister, you’ve lost. Now promoting to queen, checkmate.”