Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 167

Chapter 167: Does Ruoming Have Something on Her Mind?

***

“An Jinrou, are you saying whether I decide to look back or not depends entirely on my will?” Xia Ruoming murmured softly, looking at the misty tree-lined path.

The music An Jinrou liked to play most in her shop was the Lost Traveler Symphony she composed herself, meant to suggest that all visitors were lost travelers.

When Xia Ruoming first heard it, she found it a bit strange, lost travelers meant they couldn’t find their position on the map, but people who could get their fortune told should at least know where the map was pointing to have a direction for divination.

But now Xia Ruoming realized that she too was a lost traveler, unable to find her way home.

If everything was really as An Jinrou said, she didn’t know how she should feel right now.

She walked back to the campsite entrance like someone in a daze, and by the time she reached the camp, she couldn’t even remember how she got back.

In front of the campsite tent, Xu Fengwu was happily playing a paper-sticking game with Chu Suhe. Somehow Chu Suhe had such good luck, Xu Fengwu’s face was already covered in paper strips, while Chu Suhe had very few on hers.

“I’m done! I’m done! It’s no fun when Suhe keeps winning!” Xu Fengwu said somewhat “exasperatedly.”

When Xu Fengwu stood up, she only then noticed Xia Ruoming had been standing behind her for some time.

“Hmm? Ruoming, when did you get back?”

But Xia Ruoming just stared at her blankly, lost in thought.

After shaking Xia Ruoming’s shoulders and seeing still no reaction, Xu Fengwu asked worriedly, “Ruoming, you didn’t encounter anything unclean, did you? I heard these mountain places tend to attract unclean things.”

“Ah… no, just thinking about some things.” After hearing Xu Fengwu’s words, Xia Ruoming’s almost frozen face finally showed some different expression, and her finally speaking also dispersed much of Xu Fengwu’s worry.

“How about I make you all some cheese mushroom pasta tonight?” Xia Ruoming forced herself to be energetic as she asked the two by the tent.

“Sure~ I love anything Ruoming makes.” Xu Fengwu smiled as she answered, although Xia Ruoming had long since grown tired of such comments, if she really liked it that much, she wouldn’t have fed it to cats back then.

But for some reason, after An Jinrou had said those strange things to her, her heart became like a tangled mess again, impossible to untangle no matter how she tried. These tangles were tied to her heartstrings, the slightest misstep could leave her troubled and anxious.

“R-Ruoming, you don’t need to be so formal, I’ll be fine with anything,” Chu Suhe said timidly.

“Cooking isn’t something to be casual about.” Xia Ruoming poked Chu Suhe’s nose. “Ingredients have souls, being casual is disrespectful to them. Besides, Susu cooked seriously when you were at my place, how could I just casually make something to brush you off?”

“And I told you before, right? From that day on, Susu must eat properly every day, today included.”

Chu Suhe didn’t refuse Xia Ruoming anymore, just nodded silently.

Seeing neither had objections, Xia Ruoming found a water source in the camp, washed the cherry tomatoes, snow peas and mushrooms clean, then cut them into slices. She also used the camp stove to blanch the pre-prepared smoked bacon along with the cut snow peas for 5 minutes.

While boiling water for the pasta, Xia Ruoming started cooking her sauce, adding 2 large spoons of tomato sauce after the cherry tomatoes had softened, then adding mushrooms and bacon slices and stir-frying evenly.

Finally, she poured a small amount of water into the pan with the sauce, simmered on low heat until the sauce thickened, then added the snow peas and pasta, along with a slice of cheese. After plating, she sprinkled grated parmesan and rosemary on the pasta, garnished with some parsley, and served it to the two.

“Mmm~ Ruoming’s cooking is really so good~” Xu Fengwu said while eating the cheese mushroom pasta Xia Ruoming made.

Though Chu Suhe didn’t speak, she nodded in agreement.

“I’m glad you like it. Sorry I came back so late, couldn’t make anything better,” Xia Ruoming said apologetically.

Xu Fengwu still missed the old Xia Ruoming, back then she always smiled when looking at her, and though their relationship had improved considerably now, she somehow heard many traces of worry and helplessness in Xia Ruoming’s voice.

The bright moonlight fell on Xia Ruoming’s face, though it was as gentle as water, it cast a shadow over her, just like that rainy night when they parted years ago.

“Ruoming… do you have something on your mind?” After hesitating for a long time, Xu Fengwu finally asked. She had seen Xia Ruoming when she was happy, when she was hesitant, when she was sad.

But she had never seen such a strange expression on Xia Ruoming’s face, as if many emotions were intertwined on it.

“Is it that Ruoming doesn’t like this camping spot? Next time I’ll ask for Ruoming’s opinion…”

“No, this place is very nice, better than many places I’ve been to.” Xia Ruoming looked up at the sky, where countless stars shone, much more beautiful than Chengdu’s night sky. “It’s just that some things are troubling me right now. Fengwu, don’t worry about such things, it would only add to your troubles.”

“Ah…” Xu Fengwu nodded. Though she had more questions, looking at Chu Suhe beside her, she didn’t voice them.

Some things weren’t convenient to discuss at any time, though their relationship was very good now, they hadn’t reached the point of having no secrets.

Seeing Xia Ruoming and Xu Fengwu’s conversation end in silence, Chu Suhe also withdrew her curious gaze and quietly ate the pasta on her plate.

After dinner, Xia Ruoming told Chu Suhe and Xu Fengwu to rest first. When they asked why she wasn’t resting, Xia Ruoming just said she felt dizzy after climbing the mountain and wanted to enjoy the evening breeze, telling them not to worry.

***

【Since the author’s notes can’t start a new line, I can only put this part in the main text, sorry.】

【Today I revised many previous chapters, I thought I could get out of the blacklist after revising, but after finishing the revisions, the review still didn’t pass. I asked Tomato’s customer service what other problems there were (you saw the problematic chapters I posted yesterday), well, the previous chapters don’t have many issues now. Tomato specifically picked out many new problem chapters for me, counted about more than 10, I now suspect Tomato just doesn’t want to release this book. So many male protagonist novels on Tomato have high school plots, but when I write a lesbian novel mentioning high school it’s against the rules, this book has no way to remove those high school elements now that it’s written to this point.】

【Well, I’ve vented what needed to be vented, I just want to ask, I’ll continue revising this book, but if it really can’t be released, I’m planning to start a new book too, here are several options, which would you prefer to see?】

【1. Restart my previous novel 《An’s Magic House》, this is a collection of many yuri short stories, with both angst and fluff, mainly from the perspectives of many short story female protagonists, stories told through An Jinrou’s mouth, taking place 8 years after Xia Ruoming and An Jinrou met in their previous life, if restarted, the timeline will be reset to after Xia Ruoming’s marriage, and I’ll also subtly write this book’s ending in it.】

【2. A rules-based horror novel, I have about 100,000 words in stock for this one, originally planned to publish after this book was finished, has cheat abilities, but overall is still a detective-style work, also yuri (no hundred flowers early on), the love interest is the protagonist’s cheat ability.】

【3. A traditional eastern fantasy mainstream novel with yuri themes, female protagonist type, maybe 1v1, maybe threesome, but overall not as rich in romance, still mainly focused on advancing the plot.】

【I got tired of writing ancient romance when writing explicit content before, and Tomato’s modern romance waters are really too deep for me to handle, so that’s temporarily on hold, we’ll see if there’s a chance to write again in the future.】

【Also, to the person who stole my work and reported me, you won, you really won.】