What's Wrong with This Alpha? - Chapter 77

Chapter 77 – I’ll Touch

When adults can’t win an argument with a child, they often resort to being unreasonable.

This is a deeply ingrained tradition in Chinese culture, passed down through generations.

So Sheng Yunze, without any formal training, instinctively used his age to exert authority, his face stern as he barked, “Why are you asking so many questions, kid? Go to sleep!”

Sheng Xi was indeed intimidated by his father’s sternness, his chubby body nimbly wriggling under the covers.

Sheng Yunze’s blankets had been sunned the day before yesterday, making them fluffy and warm that night.

Duan Yi emerged from washing his face to find the twins already asleep. He gave Sheng Yunze a thumbs-up and mouthed, “You’re pretty good at handling kids.”

Sheng Yunze gave him a tight, humorless smile, a look that always made Duan Yi feel guilty.

Even Duan Yi himself thought his lies were clumsy. He couldn’t possibly expect Sheng Yunze to believe him. His only hope now was that the whole parallel world story sounded so ridiculous that Sheng Yunze would dismiss it entirely.

Maybe I should just pretend it never happened, Duan Yi thought cowardly.

“I’m leaving,” Duan Yi whispered.

Sheng Yunze rummaged through the cabinet and pulled out some snacks, shaking them.

He watched Duan Yi swallow hard, his eyes fixed on the treats.

“I’ll have a little something before I go,” Duan Yi relented without a shred of dignity, then followed Sheng Yunze onto the balcony outside the bedroom.

Without hesitation, Duan Yi grabbed all the snacks from his boyfriend’s cabinet, along with two cans of peach-flavored soda, and placed them on the table. “I’m having one last feast today,” he declared solemnly. “I’m starting my diet tomorrow.”

To his surprise, Sheng Yunze frowned. “Why do you need to diet?”

Duan Yi tore open a bag of potato chips. “My abs have been disappearing lately. It must be from eating too much during finals to fuel my brain.”

Sheng Yunze hadn’t seen Duan Yi yesterday, and they were only meeting tonight. Rounding up, that was nearly two days apart. For a couple in the throes of young love, desperate to be together 24/7, it felt like an eternity.

Sheng Yunze couldn’t resist touching Duan Yi. He dragged Duan Yi, chair and all, across the balcony with a loud screech.

Startled, Duan Yi leaped up from his seat, only to be pulled back by Sheng Yunze, who wrapped his arms around Duan Yi’s waist and pressed him against his chest like a giant plush toy.

“You’re being so loud,” Duan Yi protested. “You’ll wake them up.”

Sheng Yunze was puzzled. “How could you wake up so easily?”

Duan Yi explained, “You don’t understand. Children have terrible sleep quality. Even the slightest noise can wake them up. That’s why they sleep in cradles.”

Sheng Yunze’s tone carried a hidden meaning. “You seem to have quite a bit of experience with this.”

Duan Yi missed the implication and modestly replied, “Not really. Practice makes perfect.”

Sheng Yunze chuckled in exasperation. “Give you an inch and you’ll take a mile. Quiet down with those chips—you’re hurting my ears.”

Duan Yi grumbled, “It’s not that loud…”

But the next bite was noticeably quieter.

As Duan Yi snacked, his eyelids kept drooping. He leaned against Sheng Yunze for a moment, then forced his eyes open to continue eating. Sheng Yunze admired Duan Yi’s tenacity when it came to food—his persistence was truly remarkable.

He took the chips away. “Stop eating. You won’t be able to sleep if you eat too much tonight.”

Duan Yi protested, “But I still have half a bag left…”

Sheng Yunze shook the chip bag. “Why don’t you just dump the crumbs straight into your mouth?”

Duan Yi said gravely, “If no one were around, I might actually do it.”

Sheng Yunze: ……

“At least you still have some shame.”

Duan Yi stretched languidly in his arms, straightening his limbs and nearly flipping over in Sheng Yunze’s embrace.

Afraid he might overextend and break his back, Sheng Yunze tugged Duan Yi’s shirt down to cover his exposed stomach and commanded, “Stay at my place tonight.”

Duan Yi had secretly wanted to stay all along, but now he put on a show of reluctance. “Wouldn’t that be awkward? Is your bed big enough?”

Sheng Yunze retorted, “You can sleep on the sofa.”

“What the hell!” Duan Yi exclaimed in mock outrage. “I’m your boyfriend! You’d make me sleep on the sofa?”

Sheng Yunze countered, “Or would you rather sleep with me?”

Duan Yi stared at him.

Then he gazed at Sheng Yunze’s pale, handsome face bathed in the night’s glow.

His eyelashes, long enough to slide down, and his straight, elegant nose.

And then he blushed shamefully.

Sheng Yunze’s venomous tongue struck like a shadow, “Dream on.”

He pinched Duan Yi’s cheek. “Pig, were you thinking about something lewd again just now?”

Yes.

Duan Yi felt a pang of shame, but he couldn’t possibly admit it. He stubbornly retorted, “Haven’t decided yet!”

Then, defiantly, he added, “Even if I had, so what? We’re a legitimate same-sex couple. What’s wrong with me thinking about it?”

Sheng Yunze replied, “Fine, I agree.”

Far bolder than Duan Yi’s mere thoughts, Sheng Yunze took action. “I’ll help you make your wish come true.”

Startled, Duan Yi grabbed Sheng Yunze’s hand as it slipped under his shirt. “Holy shit! There’s someone else in the house! Don’t mess with me!”

Sheng Yunze raised an eyebrow. “Just be careful.”

He smoothly added, “The balcony is far from the bedroom. They won’t hear a thing.”

Abruptly changing the subject, he asked with scientific curiosity, “You mentioned Sheng Ming spitting up milk earlier, right?”

Duan Yi had long since learned to ignore Sheng Yunze’s casual use of Sheng Ming’s name. Looking bewildered, he replied, “Uh, yeah.”

Sheng Yunze leaned forward eagerly. “Was it formula or…?”

Seventeen years old after all, Sheng Yunze couldn’t bring himself to say anything too embarrassing. Only the tips of his ears flushed slightly, but his expression remained serious, almost scientifically rigorous. He rephrased his question, “Do an Omega’s breasts get bigger after they become pregnant?”

“…Fuck!” Duan Yi’s entire face turned crimson, practically steaming. “I forbid you from saying that with your school beauty face! You’ve shattered all my fantasies about the school beauty! Do you even hear the sound of my heart breaking? Give me back my happiness!”

Sheng Yunze’s face darkened. “Are you treating me like your girlfriend?”

Duan Yi’s expression shifted instantly. Feigning ignorance, he blinked innocently and said with earnest sincerity, “No way.”

Sorry, but sometimes when I stare at Sheng Yunze’s pretty face, I accidentally think of him as my girlfriend, Duan Yi silently confessed. Amen, God, this isn’t my fault, right? It’s just that he’s too good-looking.

Sheng Yunze scoffed disdainfully, pouting unhappily.

Before Duan Yi could even say a word, Sheng Yunze had already found a new research direction, “Let me feel if they’ve gotten bigger.”

Duan Yi struggled in his arms. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Sheng Yunze! You son of a bitch!”

His body stiffened like a stone, his face flushed as he muttered, “Are you poisoned? I don’t even have breasts! Why are you always so curious about this area? Why don’t you feel your own?”

Sheng Yunze pretended not to hear and changed the subject. “Keep your voice down. Don’t wake your son.”

Duan Yi dodged and laughed, squeezing out a furious sentence through gritted teeth, “I’m not pregnant! How could they possibly get bigger?!”

Having read the research, Sheng Yunze confidently educated him, “Boyfriends can make them grow too, if they touch them enough.”

Duan Yi covered his ears. “Fuck! Stop with the filthy talk!”

But with his hands over his ears, his chest was exposed. Sheng Yunze pinched it a couple of times, looking slightly disappointed. “So flat.”

Duan Yi whirled around, claws extended, ready to pounce. “One of us is definitely dying today!”

After a brief scuffle, Duan Yi ran out of energy and collapsed, his upper body limp.

He weakly tugged at Sheng Yunze’s hand, pulling it out from inside his turtleneck sweater.

“Stop groping,” Duan Yi grumbled. “It’s not going to grow any bigger. Why don’t you just find a girlfriend with bigger boobs?”

The last sentence dripped with sourness.

Sheng Yunze let out a dramatic gasp, playing along with his exaggerated tone. “So sour.”

Duan Yi asked, a mix of reluctance and irritation, “Do you really like big boobs?”

Don’t all guys like girls with big boobs?

Duan Yi asked himself honestly, shamefully admitting.

Yes, actually, I do like big boobs.

But flat chests weren’t bad either! Flat-chested lolis had their own unique charm, each style equally appealing.

Sheng Yunze rested his chin on his hand. “They’re alright. For someone who wears bear-print underwear, it probably doesn’t matter much to you. Want to try a bear-print bra? The kind that ties behind the neck?”

Duan Yi protested indignantly. “Stop! Secretary Sheng! Stop! Don’t try to turn this handsome guy into a clay figure!”

Sheng Yunze asked, “What’s a ‘clay figure’?”

Duan Yi: “Just imagine me as a girl, like how everyone calls you the school beauty.”

Sheng Yunze didn’t quite understand, but he wasn’t interested anyway.

Duan Yi pondered Sheng Yunze’s words for a moment, then suddenly realized what he meant and flared up. “What do you mean I’d wear a teddy bear bra? If I were a girl, I’d be all curves and waves, you know! Black lace lingerie so sexy it’d make men swoon in the streets. You’d have to draw a number just to get my attention!”

Sheng Yunze remarked, “You’d be even more narcissistic as a woman.”

Duan Yi retorted smugly, “It’s not narcissism, it’s self-awareness.”

Sheng Yunze wrapped his arm around Duan Yi’s waist, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of his soft, slightly chubby waist.

“If you were a girl, you’d be complaining about dieting every day.”

Definitely one of those chubby pig girls.

With that much meat, her chest wouldn’t be small, would it?

Sheng Yunze found himself genuinely curious.

Duan Yi, feeling sleepy, leaned back against Sheng Yunze’s chest, melting into his embrace.

“I’m tired,” he murmured, closing his eyes. “Can I sleep on the balcony? I don’t want to move an inch. Or you could sneak me inside after I fall asleep.”

Sheng Yunze: “Dream on. If you fall asleep, I’ll just leave you here.”

Duan Yi: “Damn it! We’re breaking up! This relationship is over!”

Sheng Yunze raised an eyebrow. “Really breaking up?”

Duan Yi opened one eye, mimicking Sheng Yunze’s tone. “You’re dreaming! You better appreciate this peerless handsome guy. If you break up with me, you’ll never find anyone cooler.”

Sheng Yunze nodded dismissively. “Oh.”

Duan Yi stared into the distance, his gaze fixed on some far-off point. He was desperately tired, but his eyes refused to close.

Sheng Yunze’s villa overlooked West Lake, offering an unobstructed view of the entire expanse. Under the cloak of night, the lake shimmered with a deep blue light.

“Can you see the sunrise from your balcony?” Duan Yi asked curiously.

Sheng Yunze nodded.

“Then I’m getting up early tomorrow to watch it!” Duan Yi declared ambitiously.

Sheng Yunze’s expression spoke volumes: You? Don’t even bother. You sleep like a log. You’d be lucky to wake up by eleven, let alone see the sunrise.

Duan Yi glanced at his watch. “What time is sunrise? Five o’clock?” Then, struck by a sudden thought, he asked, “We can check the time on our watches now, but how did people manage before?”

Sheng Yunze: “Are you in elementary school?”

Duan Yi: “Can’t I even ask?”

He hadn’t expected Sheng Yunze to answer anyway; it was just a casual question.

But Sheng Yunze actually did.

“Have you heard of the Thirteen Towers in Chankillo, on the northwest coast of Peru? There was a lost civilization there that used thirteen towers to mark the times of sunrise and sunset, tracking the sun’s movement. Because the Earth rotates on a tilted axis, the point of sunrise on the horizon shifts throughout the year. But these towers in Chankillo perfectly aligned with the sunrise points.”

Duan Yi was completely bewildered, feeling like he was listening to a physics lecture. But Sheng Yunze’s voice sounded so beautiful in the night, he remained entranced. “That’s incredible,” he murmured.

Sheng Yunze: “It’s called the Eureka Moment. They discovered this phenomenon and named it after the Greek word for ‘I’ve found it!’—the moment of human enlightenment.”

Duan Yi was even more confused. “What does that mean?”

Sheng Yunze grasped Duan Yi’s wrist and shaped his hand into a hollow circle, framing a lonely patch of the night sky.

“In other words, when the sun rises, humanity will experience a moment of enlightenment, and you’ll see the person you most long to see.”

Sheng Yunze finished speaking and turned to look at Duan Yi, asking with a hint of smugness, “When the sun rises, is there anyone you want to see?”

Following the usual script, Sheng Yunze had already scripted Duan Yi’s reaction in his mind.

Duan Yi should be stunned by his words, then overwhelmed with emotion, tears streaming down his face as he leaned into Sheng Yunze’s embrace. “Husband! The person I most want to see is already right here with me!” (The Duan Yi in Sheng Yunze’s imagination was always rather dramatic.)

Pleased with this imagined outcome, Sheng Yunze’s gaze softened involuntarily.

Duan Yi blinked and murmured, “When the sun rises…”

He reached out and once again framed the lonely night sky with his hand.

“The person I most want to see…”

Sheng Yunze felt a flicker of anticipation.

Duan Yi said earnestly, “The owner of the rice noodle shop.”

Sheng Yunze’s face darkened instantly. “……”

Just then, his stomach grumbled loudly, and Duan Yi swallowed involuntarily.

Is there anything more blissful than waking up early to a bowl of rice noodles?

If not, then have two!

In Sheng Yunze’s mental script, after Duan Yi said, “The person I most wanted to see is right here with me,” they should have shared a deeply romantic kiss.

But Duan Yi never followed the script. Instead, he mentioned the rice noodle shop owner.

This earned him a merciless glare from Sheng Yunze, who confiscated all his snacks and threw him to the ground.

Duan Yi landed sprawled on his back, letting out a couple of “ow ow” whimpers. When he looked up, Sheng Yunze was practically radiating dark fury.

“Why are you angry again? I didn’t say I was going to eat rice noodles alone. I’ll treat you to a bowl too! If you want an egg, I’ll even get you two.”

It was the most sincere apology Duan Yi could offer, though he still didn’t understand what he’d done wrong.

Then Sheng Yunze’s voice, cold as ice shards, descended from above, “Heh, you might as well spend the rest of your life with your rice noodle shop owner!”

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Author’s Note: Xiaoduan, you deserve it!