What's Wrong with This Alpha? - Chapter 69

Chapter 69 – Past Love Affairs

Last night, Duan Yi had said before going to sleep that he needed to wake up earlier than Duan Ji Huai in the morning. Otherwise, his dad would kill him if he knocked on the door and found them both in bed.

But at seven o’clock, he was still lazing in bed.

Duan Ji Huai always woke up early, and Sheng Yunze had no idea when he’d gotten up. He had no choice but to wake Duan Yi first.

Duan Yi was a restless sleeper, having rolled into the corner while clutching his blanket.

Sheng Yunze studied his sleeping face for a moment. “Get up.”

Duan Yi didn’t respond.

Sheng Yunze called him twice more, amused. “Aren’t you afraid your dad will beat you?”

Duan Yi buried his face deeper into the blanket. “Let him beat me to death.”

His voice was thick with sleep, each word slurring into the next. “Even if the sky falls, I’m not getting up. Just five more minutes.”

Sheng Yunze retorted, “You said that five minutes ago.”

He pulled Duan Yi out of bed.

Duan Yi’s body went limp, and he leaned against Sheng Yunze, fast asleep.

Sheng Yunze dressed him and carried him to the bathroom, handling him like a large, unwieldy toy.

Only after washing his face did Duan Yi finally wake up.

But the moment Sheng Yunze turned his back, Duan Yi tried to sneak back into bed.

After Sheng Yunze found a spare toothbrush and finished brushing his teeth, Duan Yi remained sound asleep, lost in his morning slumber.

Around 7:30 AM, Sheng Yunze got dressed, picked up the backpack he’d brought over the previous night, and said, “I’m leaving.”

Duan Yi instantly woke up. “Where are you going?”

“Home. Unless you want me to stay for breakfast?” Sheng Yunze replied.

Duan Yi reluctantly said, “Stay a little longer.”

Sheng Yunze pinched his cheek. “Stay for what? If your dad shows up, I’d be lucky to escape with my life.”

Duan Yi reluctantly saw Sheng Yunze downstairs.

When he returned, Auntie Chen, the Duan family’s housekeeper, gave him a surprised look, likely not expecting him to be up so early on a Saturday.

She turned and headed straight for Duan Yi’s bedroom, ready to tidy up.

Duan Yi’s mind raced. Oh shit!

He darted forward and blocked Auntie Chen at the door. “Auntie Chen, I’ll clean up myself today!”

“Let me at least take the sheets off to wash them,” she offered.

Duan Yi shook his head vigorously. “No! I’ll wash them myself! I’ll wash them myself!”

Damn it…

After spending hours messing around with Sheng Yunze in bed last night, how could he possibly let anyone see those sheets now?!

Duan Yi’s ears turned red.

Auntie Chen left, still somewhat skeptical, and Duan Yi breathed a sigh of relief.

Xiaoduan Mom’s voice grew louder as she approached. Duan Yi quickly locked his bedroom door, bounded downstairs, and leaped into her arms, showering her with affection.

Duan Ji Huai, sitting on the sofa, suggested taking Duan Yi to the hospital for a check-up.

Xiaoduan Mom also wanted him to go, but Duan Yi talked them out of it, claiming he had too much weekend homework and promising to get a full check-up after the final exams.

After a moment’s hesitation, Duan Ji Huai accepted Duan Yi’s reasoning.

With only one day off that weekend, Duan Yi took his homework to the library. Sheng Yunze went home to change and then joined him there.

Duan Yi didn’t dare disturb Sheng Yunze while he worked on his practice tests. As soon as Sheng Yunze finished a page, Duan Yi would snatch it and copy it. By around five in the afternoon, he had completed half the stack.

Duan Yi flicked his pen. “Out of ink already?” he lamented. “This is the most diligently I’ve ever copied homework.”

He flipped through the remaining blank pages. “How are there still nine left…?” Duan Yi leaned over to stare at Sheng Yunze. “Can I copy your homework again tomorrow?”

Sheng Yunze could finish a test faster than Duan Yi could copy his homework. Duan Yi kept getting distracted, thinking about cake or scrolling through Weibo.

After finishing his own test, Sheng Yunze took Duan Yi’s paper to help him complete it.

Duan Yi’s eyes welled up with tears of gratitude. Sheng Yunze stared at him strangely. “You’re not dating me just so I’ll do your homework, are you?”

“How could you think that!” Duan Yi retorted immediately. “Do I seem like someone so shallow? I’m purely attracted to your looks!”

Sheng Yunze chuckled. “Boring.”

Duan Yi flipped open the menu and ordered another cake, stuffing his mouth until crumbs scattered across the test paper. He swiped at the chocolate smudges, only to smear them into a dark streak.

Realizing it was Sheng Yunze’s test, Duan Yi felt guilty and scrubbed frantically, but the stain wouldn’t budge.

The next morning, Bei-ge, the physics teacher, fell silent upon seeing Sheng Yunze’s test.

…Sheng Yunze’s been acting wild lately. His test is covered in cake crumbs?

“Did you really do all of it for him?” Hao Shanshan gasped, her envious gaze almost solidifying. “Holy crap, let me see! Let me admire it! Is this the test written by our new mother?!”

Duan Yi was holding the physics test that Sheng Yunze had helped him complete.

Duan Yi crossed his legs, brimming with smugness. “What else would you expect?”

Hao Shanshan sighed, “Secretary Sheng truly is the perfect helpmate…”

“Enough looking! You’re not allowed to see anymore!” Duan Yi snatched back the test, but the class representative snatched it from his hand. “President Duan, you’ve been admiring this test all morning. Even if you’re reluctant, you have to turn in your homework.”

“Teacher He will return it after grading, right?” Duan Yi protested. “This is a handwritten test by Secretary Sheng! I’m keeping it to pass down to my son, who will pass it to his grandson, and so on, for generations to come…”

After dinner, the evening routine began early.

Students swept and mopped while members of the Student Council inspected uniforms, student IDs, and grooming in each classroom.

The second wave, from the Publicity Department, photographed the blackboard newspaper. This issue’s theme, “Striving for the Final Exams,” was Duan Yi’s creation, a flamboyant display covering the entire board. The judging results would be announced during the third period of evening self-study and counted toward moral education points.

But Duan Yi and his classmates were in their third year of high school now, and no one cared about those points anymore.

Back in second year, we used to compete for the Red Banner, though it never stayed up for more than a few weeks anyway.

During the third session of Evening Self-Study, after we’d finished our homework, Old Class Teacher walked in with a Carrefour supermarket bag that cost fifty cents. He pulled out our exam admission tickets.

The class erupted in chatter. Duan Yi, always eager to engage with the teachers, immediately asked, “Old Class Teacher, are the final exam seating arrangements out?”

“The final exams are this Thursday and Friday,” the teacher replied. “I won’t distribute the tickets yet—you’ll just lose them tomorrow. I’m just showing them to you today. Write down your student ID, seat number, and exam room. After you’ve seen them, pass them all to Duan Yi.”

He turned to Duan Yi. “Duan Yi, make sure you collect every single one. Understand?”

Duan Yi gave a salute.

The teacher handed the tickets to Xiaobudian Zhou Yue, who shared some with Sister Ma to speed up the distribution.

As soon as Duan Yi got his ticket, Jiang Wangshu, with malicious intent, jumped up with a wild yell and lunged at him. “Let me see your photo!”

—The photo on the exam admission ticket: a death photo.

As everyone knows, Second High School is a century-old prestigious institution.

By that logic, the printer in the Academic Affairs Office must also be a century-old relic.

Good grief, the photos it churned out were so shockingly awful they could make the heavens weep and ghosts wail. Even your own mother wouldn’t recognize you from the ID photo on your exam permit.

I have no idea how the proctors verifying these permits managed to match students to their photos.

Maybe it’s a professional skill, like doctors’ illegible handwriting—some kind of industry-specific shorthand.

Duan Yi’s exam permit photo was, of course, no exception.

That printer at Second High School had an insatiable thirst for black ink. Without a second thought, it turned every East Asian face into a caricature of a Black person, leaving only the whites of the eyes untouched. The result was utterly hideous.

Clutching his permit tightly, Duan Yi, burdened by his idol image, cursed, “Fuck you, Jiang Wangshu! You’re dead! Why won’t you show me yours?!”

Jiang Wangshu coaxed, “How about we count to three and slam our permits on the desk together? Besides, if you don’t show me now, everyone will see it anyway. They post these photos outside the exam hall for public humiliation. Just let me get a sneak peek…”

Duan Yi stubbornly refused to show his photo, and the two of them started wrestling in their seats.

As they grappled, Duan Yi called out for help, “Sheng Yunze, pin him down for me!”

Sheng Yunze glanced at him silently, then turned away in disgust and put on his headphones, clearly unwilling to participate in this childish game.

Duan Yi: =口=!

You’re no bro, Sheng Yunze!

After a long, tiring struggle, the two collapsed back into their seats, striking poses like Stephen Hawking.

Hao Shanshan flipped her bangs. “I’ll show you mine.”

She was generous, and Duan Yi eagerly leaned over to look. He laughed so hard he rolled off his chair onto the floor.

Even as he fell, he clutched his exam permit tightly, refusing to let anyone else see it.

Seeing Hao Shanshan willingly share her photo, Jiang Wangshu decided to reveal his own embarrassing middle-parted hairstyle.

It was a photo from elementary school, complete with a bright red Young Pioneer scarf and a heroic gaze worthy of the Five Warriors of Wolf Tooth Mountain.

Another wave of raucous laughter erupted in the classroom.

“Damn! The Chairman really lives up to his title!”

“What kind of idiot still uses their elementary school photo for their exam ID? Hahaha! Haven’t you ever been kicked out by the proctor?”

Jiang Wangshu calmly replied, “I told the proctor I look older in person, but the photo makes me look younger.”

Duan Yi laughed so hard tears streamed down his face, his entire body shaking with laughter. He leaned against Sheng Yunze’s shoulder, and as his laughter subsided, he practically fell into Sheng Yunze’s arms.

Boys often hugged and wrestled, and the classmates had long accepted that their Class President and League Branch Secretary were exceptionally close. No one found anything amiss, nor did they question how naturally Sheng Yunze’s arm settled around Duan Yi’s waist.

Suddenly, the classroom erupted with photo sharing.

“Pingtou, let me see yours! Are you bald in that picture?”

“Low-resolution cameras can’t capture my flowing locks, okay?”

“Xiaobang, did you take this with a landline? Why didn’t you just paste a mosaic over it?”

“Fang Yun, you used to have long hair…”

“Sister Ma’s photo really does look like a horse! How did they make your face so long?”

“It’s called a panoramic shot!”

“Classmate Ling’s face looks kind of hastily drawn…”

“Your face is so round! It makes me want to write a poem: ‘Last year, a single tear of longing; this year, it finally reaches my lips…'”

“Fuck you!”

“…”

Compared to Jiang Wangshu’s group, whose photos varied wildly depending on the angle, Duan Yi’s ID photo was decent, just a bit less flattering than his real appearance.

It was also a middle school photo, showing his face round and chubby, a bright smile revealing all his rabbit teeth. He looked like Jun Ji-hyun from her My Sassy Girl days, except the camera had swallowed the small mole on his nose.

Sheng Yunze couldn’t resist the temptation and snatched the photo for a curious glance.

Duan Yi blushed. “Don’t look… it’s so embarrassing.”

Sheng Yunze shrugged. “It’s fine.”

He tapped Duan Yi’s nose with his mechanical pencil. “Missing a mole.”

Hao Shanshan chimed in, “But it’s so cute, President Duan! Why are you hiding it? It’s way better than those weird memes you send in our group!”

In the Third Year Class 1 group chat, known for its “share the good times, ditch the bad” mentality, Duan Yi’s memes were truly bizarre and endlessly varied.

Just when everyone thought they’d seen the limit of President Duan’s facial expressions, he’d unveil an even stranger one the next day.

These memes were all screenshots taken by classmates, compiled into a collection for Duan Yi, which Sheng Yunze also used.

While other students in the class had their own memes, none were as wildly popular as Duan Yi’s.

This was actually a common way for high schoolers to express affection. The more popular someone was in class, the more others loved to tease them.

Even if photos of other students were turned into memes, they’d be ignored.

Duan Yi retrieved his exam permit and suddenly turned to Sheng Yunze. “Brother, the exam permit, you know? Why don’t you show it off for everyone to admire?”

Sheng Yunze pretended not to hear.

The moment Duan Yi spoke, the lurking crowd, already eager to see Sheng Yunze’s exam permit, couldn’t hide their predatory intentions any longer!

Their eyes gleamed as they stared intently at Sheng Yunze.

Holy crap… the school beauty’s exam permit photo!

Could this perfect face withstand the century-old printer at Second High School?

They elected Duan Yi as their representative to hold a friendly meeting with Sheng Yunze for a private discussion.

“Let me see…” Duan Yi grinned mischievously.

Sheng Yunze awkwardly turned his face away, and Duan Yi’s puppy-like ears instantly perked up.

No way, did the photo turn out that bad?

The more Sheng Yunze refused, the more Duan Yi’s curiosity burned.

“Just let me see!” Duan Yi immediately switched tactics, turning around to shoo away the crowd of onlookers—Jiang Wangshu and the others. “Go on, get lost! What are you doing here? Only I get to see it, got it? Your official rank isn’t high enough!”

Hao Shanshan, Jiang Wangshu, Bookworm, Sister Ma, Xiaobang, and Abbot all shot pleading glances at Duan Yi—biu biu biu!

Duan Yi coldly pushed them aside. “I said no, and I meant it. You know your New Mother is easily embarrassed, right? Be good and go back to your seats with your mom.”

Then he turned back to Sheng Yunze, his eyes sparkling with anticipation, as if expecting a reward. “I got rid of them all. Now let me see it—just me.”

“You really want to see it?” Sheng Yunze asked.

Duan Yi nodded eagerly, like a chick pecking at grain.

Sheng Yunze flipped over the exam permit on the table, revealing the front.

Duan Yi leaned in eagerly, then froze, his face gradually flushing crimson. “It’s… really handsome.”

Sheng Yunze smirked smugly. “What else would you expect?”

No wonder he’s the school beauty, Duan Yi thought wryly. Even Second High School’s garbage printer managed to make him look this good.

He’d assumed Sheng Yunze was hiding the photo because it was unflattering, that his idol image was too precious to risk. He’d even shooed everyone else away for a private viewing. Turns out, the photo was too good—so stunning it might crush us mere mortals.

Then Duan Yi remembered his husband’s legendary bare-faced interview on CCTV years ago. Eighteen screenshots from that interview had gone viral on Weibo, even beyond their usual circles.

That thought brought him some equilibrium.

Sheng Yunze flipped the exam permit back over.

“I haven’t seen enough yet!” Duan Yi protested, scrambling to retrieve it. He took the permit and examined it closely. “This must be from middle school, right?”

“I took this in second year,” Sheng Yunze said.

He looked quite young, only about fourteen years old.

But handsome guys are handsome from a young age. Even across time, Duan Yi could sense the earth-shattering handsomeness of fourteen-year-old Sheng Yunze.

“Do you have any more of these photos?” Duan Yi asked. “Can I have one?”

“Nope,” Sheng Yunze replied with a mischievous grin. “I’ll give you my exam admission ticket after the test.”

Duan Yi was quite fond of the admission ticket. He nodded earnestly. “You promise? You have to give it to me then.”

Sheng Yunze froze for a moment, as if something had pricked him. A strange sensation spread from his heart—a mix of sweetness and sourness.

He glanced at Sheng Yunze’s exam room: the fourth floor of the lab building, the former location of Second Year Class One.

Duan Yi’s midterm scores had improved significantly, all thanks to Sheng Yunze’s test predictions. As a result, he had moved from the bottom-tier cafeteria exam room to one in the academic building.

But he was still separated from Sheng Yunze by another building.

He felt a pang of disappointment.

Once the students had calmed down from their excitement, the Old Class Teacher spoke up. “Last student, stand up and collect the admission tickets. Pass them to the Class President.”

She gestured to Jiang Wangshu. “Xiao Jiang, post the exam room assignments on the bulletin board.”

The bulletin board was located by the classroom’s front door—the kind you couldn’t see once the door was closed.

Just as we finished checking our exam permits and finding our assigned seats, the dismissal bell rang.

Old Class Teacher, packing his Carrefour cloth bag, reminded us, “Class monitors, clean up thoroughly! Flip all the chairs onto the desks and take your trash with you. Behave yourselves in the dorm tonight. If I have to deduct points from any of you so close to finals, you’ll face my wrath tomorrow!”

“We—know—” the entire class drawled in unison.

Duan Yi waited for Old Class Teacher to leave before crowding around the exam seating chart.

The worse a student’s grades, the more they cared about their exam location.

Of course, they weren’t just concerned about their own location, but also whether any academic aces or classmates were in the same room, making it easier to cheat.

Girls, on the other hand, were more interested in being near their best friends’ exam rooms so they could walk together.

If they couldn’t be in the same class, they’d try for the same building.

This time, Duan Yi was in the same exam room as Pingtou. He quickly brainstormed, What subjects is Pingtou good at? I’ll just copy those two.

Xiaobang grumbled, “Why am I the only one stuck way over there…?”

Hao Shanshan exclaimed, “Holy crap! It’s a battle of the titans in the lab building! Secretary Sheng, Chairman, and Fang Yun are all in Second Year Class One!”

Fang Yun, who relied on her own efforts in exams, didn’t care about the class rankings. Instead, she turned to Duan Yi and asked, “President Duan, you’re sitting so far away from us.”

Duan Yi covered his face, overwhelmed with remorse and regret. “Do you think I wanted this?” he groaned, inwardly cursing himself for not cheating on a few more questions.

Jiang Wangshu stroked his chin. “The final exam is a combined test with the Second Division, right? Will we be sitting together?”

Hangzhou Second High School had a ridiculously long official name. Before its renaming, it had an embarrassingly outdated revolutionary name: August First High School, which Duan Yi and his classmates preferred not to mention.

A few years ago, Second High School expanded with a new campus. After increasing enrollment, the school divided into two divisions: the First Division, housed in the original campus, and the Second Division, located in the new facilities.

The Second Division students, admitted through expanded enrollment, had varying academic levels and were often looked down upon by the First Division students. To foster healthy competition, the school’s headmaster encouraged both divisions to let their grades speak for themselves.

In recent years, the Second Division had gained a formidable Dean, significantly improving their overall academic performance and even threatening to surpass the First Division.

With mutual disdain between the two divisions, this final exam would undoubtedly be a battle for supremacy.

“The Second Division is taking the exam here too? I thought I wouldn’t see them until after graduation,” Fang Yun grumbled.

“Last year’s third-year mock exams were held at the new campus, but the paint in the newly built lab building hadn’t dried yet. During the math exam, one student got so nervous and then fainted from paint fumes. They’re definitely holding it at the First Division this year,” Jiang Wangshu added.

“Ugh, I don’t want to take the exam with the Second Division. I don’t know anyone there,” Hao Shanshan said, rubbing her arms.

She suddenly paused. “Oh, right, the Second Division!”

“What’s wrong?” Duan Yi asked.

“Let’s go!” Hao Shanshan exclaimed, dragging Duan Yi into a corner.

Duan Yi let her pull him along, walking casually and muttering, “Daughter, I’m setting boundaries now. No father-daughter role-playing. We’re law-abiding, patriotic…”

Hao Shanshan glanced around furtively. “Xiaoduan Dad, even if I had a forbidden mother-daughter romance with my own mom, I wouldn’t challenge the authority of your New Mother.”

“Then why are you dragging me away? Are you worried Sheng Yunze will get jealous and you’ll have to comfort him later?” Duan Yi asked.

“Never mind him. I’m worried you’ll get jealous,” Hao Shanshan said mysteriously. “I just remembered an old story from first year… about Secretary Sheng.”

Duan Yi pricked up his ears. “I’m all ears.”

Hao Shanshan hesitated for a moment. “You know that rich girl in Third Year of Second Division? Her uncle is the honorary president of X University, and her family owns a mine.”

“Are you trying to set me up with an affair?” Duan Yi asked.

“That rich girl used to chase Sheng Yunze back in First Year,” Hao Shanshan continued, pausing again. “It was quite the spectacle. I remember she was a top student. What if you and my New Mother end up in the same exam hall? She might see my mom’s stunning beauty and go wild, unable to resist her primal instincts. What if they hit it off like thunder and lightning?”

Duan Yi: …

“How did I not know about this?”

Hao Shanshan replied modestly, “Have you forgotten? You were chasing Sister Qiao so publicly and passionately back then!”

Duan Yi: …

“Enough!”

“What did Hao Shanshan want to talk to you about?” Sheng Yunze demanded as soon as Duan Yi returned, his tone sharp.

Duan Yi patiently explained, “She’s your daughter. Why are you getting jealous of your own daughter?”

Sheng Yunze retorted coldly, “She’s not my biological daughter. She seems closer to your ex-wife. If we form a new family, there might be tension between them.” He gestured toward Jiang Wangshu, who was trading magician and One Piece cards with Hao Shanshan.

Duan Yi: …

He realized he couldn’t out-crazy Sheng Yunze!

“Wait, Secretary Sheng, how did you accept Jiang Wangshu’s bizarre ‘family cosplay.avi’ scenario so quickly? You’re acting way too naturally!”

Duan Yi hesitated. “Hao Shanshan said a rich and beautiful girl from the Second Division had a crush on you in first year. You might be in the same exam hall this time. Do you remember her?”

“Forgot,” Sheng Yunze replied, his survival instincts suddenly kicking into overdrive.

Duan Yi nodded approvingly. “Good answer. One point!”

The two walked back to the dormitory side-by-side, following the crowd dispersing from evening self-study.

Old He, accompanied by several teachers, stood at the entrance to the dormitory road—right in front of the school supermarket—hunting for early romances.

In the darkness, couples walking hand-in-hand spotted Old He from afar and automatically split into separate paths, their hands parting.

Getting caught by Old He meant copying Divine Sword and Hero—no exceptions. You’d be copying it until graduation, achieving literary ascension.

Should I at least pretend to separate? Duan Yi wondered. He glanced at Sheng Yunze, signaling. We’re basically dating, right? Should we split up?

Sheng Yunze deliberately misinterpreted the signal, nodding to show he understood. Then he pulled Duan Yi into a tight embrace.

Duan Yi froze, his mind racing, Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh???

Teacher He approached with his flashlight. “What’s going on here?”

Sheng Yunze remained composed. “Teacher He, Duan Yi twisted his ankle. I’m helping him back to the dormitory.”