Transmigrated as the Cultivation World's Heartthrob - Senior Brother Just Wants to Slack Off - Chapter 1

Tang Yu died… and came back to life. Yay!

But he transmigrated into a novel. Not yay…

The moment he woke up, BAM! A powerful palm strike sent him flying, his chest burning with pain as he crashed to the ground like a shooting star.

He coughed up blood, his body twitching. This scene felt oddly familiar… Ah, whatever. Might as well just lie here. Feels nice. …Wait, what’s going on? Why did someone nearly smack him to death the second he got here?

Tang Yu wiped the blood from his mouth and squinted at the two figures nearby. One standing, one kneeling. One is dressed in black, and the other dressed in white.

Black and white? The underworld reapers? Are they here to drag my soul away?!

“You bastard, Sang Jingli! You actually killed my senior brother!” The white-robed boy kneeling on the ground had delicate features and pale skin, his violet-glass eyes brimming with defiant resilience. “Senior brother, one day, I will avenge you!”

“Tch, a useless weakling like you dares to dream of taking him from me?” The black-robed man smirked, handsome but clearly impatient.

…Wait. This scene? This dialogue? This setup?

And then, BAM! A sharp pain shot through Tang Yu’s head as unfamiliar memories flooded in.

Oh. That’s why this seemed so familiar. He had transmigrated into a novel he once read. And just thinking about it pissed him off.

Tang Yu used to be an overworked corporate slave. One night, while waiting for the bus home, he picked up a random novel and started reading to pass the time.

Biggest mistake of his life.

Because he got so absorbed in the book, he didn’t notice the speeding Rolls-Royce heading straight for him. His body soared through the air like a shooting star, just like what happened earlier. Fifteen meters, minimum.

That was the first and last time he ever saw a Rolls-Royce up close. He died clutching that stupid book in his hands. If he hadn’t been reading, he wouldn’t have been distracted. If he hadn’t been distracted, he wouldn’t be dead.

And honestly, the novel’s plot was even more frustrating than his death.

The book was called: “The White Lotus’ Transformation: The Immortal Lord Kisses Me Every Day,” a trashy, harem-style romance written by some author named Bend Oakwood.

Tang Yu had serious doubts that this author worked for that one infamous web novel site.

The protagonist was the youngest disciple of the Tianqing Sword Sect. A delicate, stunning beauty who was supposedly so soft and pitiful that every character, regardless of gender, would instantly fall for him.

If he was ever in danger, someone would always rush in to save him. Even enemies who swore to kill him would end up madly in love with him. And the sheer number of his admirers? Ridiculous. His sect master, senior brothers, other sect leaders, and the emperor of humanity are all head over heels.

Among all his obsessed suitors, two stood out as the most brain-dead idiots.

One was the senior brother who dedicated his life to protecting him. The other was the Demon Lord who only lived to own him.

Now, the Demon Lord was the ultimate powerhouse feared by all, invincible, untouchable. Yet every time he met the protagonist, he completely lost his mind.

A terrifying demon, but instead of doing villain things, he wasted his time on “he runs, I chase, he has nowhere to escape” romance tropes. And when the protagonist pretended to be moved by his love, agreeing to be his demonic consort, what happened?

On their wedding night, the immortal lord and his cult of lovers stormed the demon palace and slaughtered him. The protagonist set him up just to get rid of him. Then he abandoned all his previous lovers, chose the immortal lord, and lived a blissful life of shameless PDA.

By that point, Tang Yu had already started roasting the book nonstop.

Everyone fell in love with the protagonist. The protagonist used their love for his own gain without guilt. He never had to struggle, someone always provided him with rare treasures and power-ups. Heroes, villains, side characters, all became his simps.

And worst of all? The senior brother.

If the Demon Lord was the most delusional romantic, then the senior brother was the biggest simp in history. He was gloomy, broody, and disliked by his sect, but he had top-tier strength and insane looks.  Yet, for some stupid reason, the author made him fall hopelessly in love with the protagonist, seeing him as his one and only, his unattainable love, his eternal god.

And the protagonist? Absolutely despised him. And how did this senior brother die? When the Demon Lord kidnapped the protagonist to finally seal the deal, the senior brother foolishly tried to rescue him.

While escaping, the Demon Lord caught them. And being the almighty demon overlord, he simply smacked the senior brother to death. Not even a glance from the protagonist. Not a single tear. Even in his last breath, the senior brother could only whisper, “Junior brother… run…”

And the protagonist? Didn’t hesitate for a second. Left him for dead without a shred of guilt. To die for that kind of guy? Absolutely not worth it.

Now that Tang Yu was reliving this scene, his gaze shifted.

The white-robed boy? The novel’s protagonist, Shi Yunyi.

The black-robed man? The obsessive Demon Lord, Sāng Jǐnglí.

And himself? That pathetic, lovesick senior brother, the ultimate cannon fodder simp, Tang Yu.

…F* no.**

If he had arrived earlier, he wouldn’t have even bothered saving this protagonist.

The Demon Lord and the white lotus? Let them lock in and stay together.

Don’t drag me into this mess!