The Trick to Teasing a Noble Family's Son - Chapter 7

When everyone went back at midnight, Wei Lan was quite a bit too drunk, so Xie Jie and Lin Che volunteered to help her onto the carriage. Xie Zichen watched this group of people fool around and leave, and then he turned and disappeared into the night.

Once everything around her quieted down, Wei Lan opened her eyes in the carriage.

Her alcohol tolerance was honed at the border, how could she be compared to these pampered nobles. She only pretended to be drunk to save their face and when she opened her eyes, she saw everything clearly.

But she was in a good mood. Surrounded by beautiful people today, she couldn’t help but feel elated. Lying sideways on the long bench, she looked at the faintly visible moon behind the carriage curtains, closed her eyes, and quietly listened to the sounds of the capital at night.

Ran Mo, seeing her mistress so relaxed after drinking, felt exasperated and said seriously, “Young Lady, do you even remember you are a woman?”

“Ah, I do remember,” Wei Lan opened her eyes and smiled, “What, does it bother you that I hugged Xie Si?”

“Young Lady! Aren’t you afraid of dying? You were holding him like that today, what if he discovered you were a woman?” Ran Mo was both anxious and resentful, as if Wei Lan’s actions were pushing her towards the guillotine.

Wei Lan snorted, raised her hand to pat Ran Mo’s head, and advised, “Xiao Mo, today I’ll teach you something; You must always think in reverse of what you’re used to in everything.”

“Think in reverse?” Ran Mo was puzzled. Wei Lan leaned back, placing her elbow behind her head, and lazily explained, “Thinking in reverse means doing the opposite of what people think you shouldn’t do, so in the end, they think nothing of it.”

“You think I shouldn’t do this or that because I’m a woman. But if I do these things, won’t people think I’m a woman. Have you seen a man in this world who doesn’t rub shoulders and hug others? Have you ever seen a man who hides and avoids others?”

“I have,” Ran Mo nodded earnestly, and Wei Lan was stunned: “Who?”

“Fourth Young Master Xie!” Ran Mo mentioned Xie Zichen, educating Wei Lan, “I don’t expect you to be very reserved, but at least keep some distance from those young masters like Fourth Young Master Xie. He doesn’t like others getting close to him; let alone men, even women stay three feet away from him!”

“He’s indeed the young master I like!” Wei Lan clapped her hands in appreciation, “So clean and pure! He can remain unstained in the mud!”

Ran Mo: “…”

She had never seen anyone so eager to disparage themselves.

“Don’t worry,” Wei Lan looking at Ran Mo’s appearance finally got serious, and said with her eyes closed, “I’m wearing heart protection armor¹ and I know what I’m doing. You’re worrying ahead of me. I’m not that incompetent.”

Wei Lan returned and had a good sleep. Waking up the next morning, she was still feeling a bit dizzy, when Wei Zhong rushed in, wiped his seat and said, “Young Master, something terrible has happened…”

“What’s wrong?” Wei Lan was washing her hands. She rarely indulged herself like this but she felt particularly relaxed. At this time, she couldn’t help but thank His Majesty for summoning her back from the border. At her age, noble children couldn’t hold official positions. She had obtained her position by killing enemies at the border, but it didn’t translate to duties in the capital, making her lifestyle no different from the other playboys who lived like this every day.

—If she hadn’t amassed private wealth.

Wei Lan took a mouthful of tea and gargled while listening to Wei Zhong say, “Young Lady has beaten Sixth Young Master Xie!”

Wei Lan was stunned for a moment. After a while, she spat out the tea, calmly adjusted her clothes, and then turned around and walked out, saying, “Take me over to have a look.”

As soon as We Lan reached the door, she saw Xie Jie sitting somewhat awkwardly on a chair, covering an eye. Wei Hua had his head tilted to the side, wiping his tears with a handkerchief and sobbing. Seeing Wei Lan walk in, Wei Hua fluttered like a butterfly into Wei Lan’s arms, crying, “Brother, you’re here! This scoundrel!” He pointed his delicate finger at Xie Jie, saying, “He molested me!”

As soon as he finished speaking, Xie Jie jumped up immediately, and said anxiously, “It’s a misunderstanding! A misunderstanding! A’ Lan, please let me explain! Just then, I thought this girl was you…”

“Shut up! Don’t make excuses! No explanations! Just tell me, did you or did you not touch my shoulder? Did you or did you not try to feel my chest?!”

Hearing this, Wei Lan couldn’t help but glance at Wei Hua’s chest, where two lumps were visible — she very well knew they were real buns.

Xie Jie was a little anxious and couldn’t explain why, upon seeing Wei Lan dressed in women’s clothing, his first thought was, ‘Those can’t be real,’ and he impulsively reached out to check. It turned out that Wei Lan, dressed in women’s clothing was…No, Wei Lan’s twin sister Wei Huua was so powerful that she punched him in the face and then kicked him two meters away.

The child of a general, even a woman, shouldn’t be underestimated… Xie Jie had learned his lesson.

Xie Jie looked at Wei Hua, who was crying like a pear blossom in the rain, Wei Lan knew her brother’s capabilities and wasn’t worried about him suffering a loss. After all, they were both men; what loss could there be?

She smiled calmly, ordered the servants to take Wei Hua away, and said with cupped hands, “This sister of mine has been spoiled since she was a child and is a bit careless, so I hope A’ Jie won’t take it to heart.”

Hearing this, Xie Jie sighed in relief. Knowing he was the one at fault, he naturally didn’t dare say anything more and quickly apologized, “It was my fault for being reckless and scaring your sister. I’ll send someone with gifts tomorrow to apologize.”

“You and I are brothers,” Wei Lan smiled and poured tea for Xie Jie, lowered her eyes and said “No need for such formality.”

Xie Jie smiled, “I knew A’ Lan wouldn’t be so petty. I came here today because I wanted to take A’ Lan to see some interesting things.”

“What is it?” Wei Lan raised an eyebrow. Xie Jie said, “Come with me.”

Xie Jie was secretive, but Wei Lan, having nothing to fear, followed him all the way to the outskirts of the city. After entering a small courtyard Wei Lan couldn’t help but raise her eyebrow.

The courtyard was filled with men of various types, all striking different poses. Seeing Wei Lan and Xie Jie enter, they stepped forward one after another to greet them, “Greetings, Young Masters.”

Wei Lan glanced at the men. Xie Jie coughed, feigning nonchalance and said, “A’ Lan, would you prefer to sit inside or outside?”

Wei Lan’s expression had not changed, and she said with a smile, “It’s still cold in spring. Let’s go inside. Wouldn’t it make people feel distressed if these beauties were frozen to death?”

Hearing this, the men present couldn’t help but secretly raise their eyes and see a handsome youth in jade-coloured clothes standing gracefully in the corridor. They quickly lowered their heads to hide their pounding hearts.

Xie Jie observed Wei Lan’s expression and saw that the person was calm, feeling increasingly certain that Wei Lan must have frequented such places. So, the way he looked at Xie Zichen…

…It must not have been his imagination.

Xie Jie smiled and led Wei Lan inside. The two of them knelt in front of a table and a thin middle-aged man walked in, followed by a group of men who knelt on the ground.

These men were obviously well-trained from their demeanour, looking more delicate than men in usual. Xie Jie raised his hand and made a gesture of invitation to Wei Lan, “A’ Lan will choose first.”

Wei Lan sipped her wine and said lightly, “Bring forward the clean ones.”

The men exchanged glances, and then several stepped forward. Wei Lan then thought about it, this must be a place where men entertained themselves, so she added, “Those who haven’t been touched from front and behind, step forward.”

Heart protection armor¹ (护心镜) refers to a piece of armour covering the chest, symbolizing preparedness and protection.

Buns (馒头) refers to steamed buns used metaphorically to describe breasts.