The Trick to Teasing a Noble Family's Son - Chapter 2

When Wei Lan rode his horse back to the Changxin Marquis Manor, everyone had already been waiting at the door for a while. As soon as he entered the door, a pink-coloured silhouette lunged forward, a beautiful face crying, looking like a pear blossom in the rain, leaned on him and said, “Ah Lan, you’re finally back. Xiong’er is on the brink of death…”

This was a very tall beauty with slender bones, her facial features almost identical to Wei Lan’s, just her features were more delicate and feminine, evoking a man’s adoration. She was also an inch taller than Wei Lan, but her temperament was so soft and pitiful that being held by Wei Lan didn’t seem odd, as if it were meant to be like this.

“Don’t panic.” Wei Lan smiled gently, patting the beauty in his arms, his tone was calm and composed, “I’m here, let’s go inside first.”

“Oh, Lan…” The beauty continued crying, and Wei Lan, feeling a headache coming on, had a nursemaid come to pull the beauty away before heading into the courtyard.

Once he arrived, the flustered group of people seemed to find their backbone. Steward Wei Zhong stepped forward to report the situation, while Wei Lan, walking with steady and composed steps, listened to Wei Zhong’s words without changing his expression, nodding occasionally.

It turned out that his younger brother, Wei Xiong, had fought with Xie Bing, the young master of the Xie family’s main branch. The two brats had fallen into the water during their scuffle. Xie Bing who knew swimming was fine, but Wei Xiong, a non-swimmer, swallowed several mouthfuls of water before being rescued. After being brought back, he developed a high fever, and the doctor declared his condition critical. He was the apple of Old Madam Wei’s eye, and she fainted from fright upon hearing the doctor’s words and had not yet recovered.

The Changxin Marquis Manor was already few in members; with the Madam long deceased and the Marquis himself stationed at the border; it was just the Old Madam managing the household with three children. At that moment, with the Old Madam unconscious and Wei Lan in the military camp outside the capital, the house had fallen into chaos, leaving only the crying legitimate daughter, Wei Hua. Fortunately, Wei Lan returned just in time, allowing Wei Zhong to breathe a sigh of relief.

Walking into the side room, he saw the maids crying on the ground and Wei Xiong’s wet nurse, surnamed Zhang, sitting on the side and wiping his body with a cloth dipped in cold water. Wei Lan, frowning at the sight of the women crying, walked over to Wei Xiong and asked Wei Zhong next to him, “Did you call for a doctor?”

“Yes,” Wei Zhong replied, “I invited a physician from the Miao Medical Hall.”

“Go and invite Imperial Physician Zhang,” Wei Lan ordered directly. “Take the ink painting by Kong Shan from the warehouse as a gift.”

“Yes, yes.” Wei Zhong nodded quickly and instructed the servants to prepare the gift, marvelling at how the young master even knew the physician’s preferences.

“And has the Xie family sent someone over?”

“The Xie family?” Wei Zhong hesitated. Wei Lan frowned knowing that he wanted to say but seeing Wei Zhong’s face, his eyes changed for a moment before he sighed quietly and said, “Never mind, prepare a gift and have a servant deliver it to the Xie residence, saying—this is the Changxin Marquis Manor’s reparation for our sins.”

“Shizi¹,” Wei Zhong’s expression changed with confusion. “But it was our young master who suffered this time. Why should we apologise to the Xie family?”

“Just do as I say.” Wei Lan sat on the side of Wei Xiong’s bed, and Zhang shi² quickly got up to get out of the way. Despite his frustration, Wei Zhong couldn’t question his master’s orders, so he could only go and carry them out.

After Wei Zhong left, Wei Lan felt Wei Xiong’s forehead—it was burning hot.

“Go fetch some ice from the icehouse, put it in a basin, and keep wiping him down. Give him plenty of water. And you,” he glanced at the crying maids on the ground, “all of you stop weeping. As a woman, if you cry when something happens, how disgraceful it is!”

Everyone was momentarily stunned, then a moment later Zhang shi quickly knelt down and cleverly said, “Yes, yes, the young master is right; as maids of the Changxin Marquis Manor, we must remain steady!”

Her words made everyone understand Wei Lan’s meaning, and they all kowtowed in agreement. Wei Lan didn’t respond but nodded and then said, “I’m going to see Grandmother.”

With that, he rose and went to the back courtyard.

By the time he reached the back courtyard, Old Madam Wei had already woken up and was leaning on her couch, drinking medicine. Upon hearing the servant’s announcement, she saw Wei Lan approaching from a distance.

Wei Hua was the number one beauty in the capital, and Wei Lan, who looked identical to her, was naturally also extremely beautiful. His porcelain-like skin was as white as snow in the sunlight, his features elegant and refined, his posture upright and slender. Although his thin shoulders and waist made him seem weak for a man, his demeanour was dignified and graceful, exuding the elegance of a noble gentleman.

He walked up to Old Madam Wei, bowed in an upright manner, and asked, “Grandmother, are you feeling better?”

“Oh Lan’er,” Old Madam Wei looked at him with a complex expression, as if recalling something: “You are… fifteen this year, right?”

“My birthday was last month,” Wei Lan nodded and replied with a smile. Old Madam Wei hesitated and finally said to the others, “Xu māmā³, you may leave; let Lan’er feed me.”

Xu māmā, who was feeding Old Madam Wei, withdrew, handing the medicine bowl to Wei Lan. Guessing that the Old Madam wanted to say something, Wei Lan didn’t stop her. Once everyone had left, he sat beside her and respectfully fed her the medicine.

Seeing his calm and dignified demeanour, Old Madam Wei couldn’t help but sigh and finally said, “If only your brother had half of your qualities, it would’ve been good! Lan’er, you can’t keep this up for the rest of your life, can you?”

“Don’t worry, Grandmother,” Wei Lan replied without changing his expression after listening to such words. “Once I stabilise the Marquisate and pave the way for my brother’s future, I will naturally switch back with him.”

“But you’re already fifteen,” Old Madam Wei said anxiously. “In ordinary families, girls your age are either betrothed or married! If you wait any longer, you’ll be an old maid when you’re ready to discuss marriage, so how could we then find a good match!”

Upon hearing this, Wei Lan said nothing, calmly feeding the medicine to Old Madam Wei. Seeing her composed demeanour, the Old Madam grabbed her hand and said directly, “Lan’er, tell me honestly, is there someone in your heart that you can’t marry?”

Otherwise, which family’s daughter would not be anxious about getting married at this age?!

Hearing the Old Madam’s words, Wei Lan did not know whether to laugh or cry. After feeding the last spoonful of medicine, she comforted, “Grandmother, it’s not that I don’t want to get married; it’s just that the current situation doesn’t allow it. I thought I had made it clear enough with you before; just look at the Changxin Marquis Manor…”

Wei Lan pointed outside and said seriously, “It appears peaceful and prosperous, but in reality, it’s like a house of cards. Back then, because of you, the eldest uncle and second uncle’s mother died early. Although it wasn’t intentional on your part, the first and second uncles see it as your fault. They hold you responsible and will never forget it. Now, they are favoured by the Emperor; the first uncle is the Right Censor-in-Chief, a fourth-ranked official, and the second uncle is a sixth-ranked officer in the Ministry of Revenue. If it weren’t for my father still being useful to the Emperor, do you think the position of Changxin Marquis would still belong to him?”

The Marquis position is just a nominal title. If the Emperor wishes, the Marquis can hold military power; if not, it’s merely a stipend. However, the title also represents hereditary status and the accumulated wealth of the marquis over the years. For this status and wealth, the dirty conflicts within the Marquis mansion are countless.

Listening to Wei Lan, the Old Madam’s face turned pale. She felt guilty about Lady Xu’s death.

 Old Madam Wei came from the prestigious Lin family. Before she entered the house, Lady Xu was already the Old Master’s concubine. Lady Xu and the Old Master were childhood sweethearts, but due to her lower status, she was never elevated. The Old Master promised her he wouldn’t marry anyone else. However, for family considerations, he was forced to marry the Old Madam. The Old Madam only knew about Lady Xu as a concubine before entering the house and nothing else. However, on the day she entered, Lady Xu hanged herself in her room.

Because of this, the Old Madam had spent her life in repentance, being especially lenient with Wei Yan and Wei Kai. Yet, the two brothers never let go of their hatred, believing the Old Madam caused their mother’s death and that Wei Shao took away their rightful status.

“If it weren’t for the fact that my father was good at leading the troops in war, the Emperor would not be willing to bury such talent even though he disliked him. Do you think my father would still hold the Marquis title? Father has the talent of a general, but what about my brother?”

Wei Lan’s tone was always calm, gentle, and serene, yet it made the Old Madam break out in a cold sweat. The mention of Wei Hua struck a nerve. Looking at the person in front of her listening with a bland expression, she continued, “Since childhood, my brother loved dressing as a woman, his behaviour is also no different than that of a woman. Don’t you think such a brother supporting the marquisate is pushing him to his own death? Even if the eldest two uncles don’t act, the imperial censor’s petitions would be enough to drown him. Moreover, in the garb of revenge for killing their mother, do you think they would spare my brother?”

“Grandmother,” Wei Lan placed the bowl on the table, and with the sound of porcelain hitting wood, her voice also softly rang out, “Blood debts are repaid in blood. Only by living can we consider marriage, future glory, wealth, prosperity, and a hundred years of foundation.”

“The battlefield is merciless, my father is already forty years old, having sustained countless injuries over the decades. If not for supporting this family, he should have been transferred back to recuperate. But he still has to persist, because without him no one can hold up the Changxin Marquis Manor. If he falls, we all fall. So, Grandmother,” Wei Lan held the Old Madam’s hand firmly, “Give me some time to hand over a stable Changxin Marquis Manor to my brother.”

“But… but…” The Old Madam’s eyes were full of grievance. “You are still a girl!”

Hearing this, Wei Lan laughed aloud, her voice like a jade being struck, “Precisely because I am a girl, I must have ambitions like the clouds, climb the ladder of success, establish myself, and leave a legacy in history.”

Old Madam Wei looked at Wei Lan in astonishment. Wei Lan seemed to understand the Old Madam didn’t comprehend her words fully but she didn’t elaborate. She stood up with a smile and said, “Don’t worry, Grandmother, in a few years, everything will be settled. As for marriage, I will handle it myself.”

The Old Madam said nothing. She had always known this granddaughter of hers was not someone she could ever control. She remembered that when Wei Lan was a child, she had a timid and weak nature, and with Wei Hua, there were almost two crybabies. She didn’t remember when, but at some point, she slowly grew up.

She stopped crying, began studying diligently, and even practised martial arts in the garden and archery. Whether in the cold of winter or the heat of summer, she was extremely disciplined. By twelve, she could write essays on strategy that astonished the tutors at the Imperial Academy and impressed the retired general in the house.

Back then, she told Old Madam Wei that she wanted to replace her brother to go to the Imperial Academy. She even came up with a complete set of disguise plans, from age twelve to thirty, detailing how to conceal her identity, how to act, and what to do to avoid being implicated in the crime if she was discovered. Her clarity of thought was beyond that of a twelve-year-old.

At that time, she had decisively refused, and Wei Lan pretended to comply, only to run away alone that night. Before running away, she even left a letter asking not to make her departure public and to tell everyone that Wei Hua was her sister.

Old Madam Wei was furious but, concerned about the reputation of the family’s daughter, didn’t say anything and sent people to search for her. But after two years of no news, just when Old Madam Wei thought that this granddaughter would never return, news came that the eldest son of Changxin Marquis Manor—Wei Lan, had assassinated a high-ranking general, earning first-class military merit and the Emperor’s personal commendation. So, without Wei Shao’s application, Wei Lan was directly made the heir.

At that time, when the Imperial Decree arrived, the Old Madam almost fainted from anger.

Where did the Changxin Marquis Manor’s eldest young master Wei Lan come from?! There was only one legitimate young lady, Wei Lan! The Changxin Marquis Manor’s young masters were a Wei Hua and a Wei Xiong. Wei Lan not only joined the army disguised as a man but didn’t even change her name!

Old Madam Wei had to change the names in the family register overnight, swapping Wei Lan and Wei Hua’s identities. She then privately explained to the clan elders that there had been a mistake; it had not seemed like a big deal until the decree came, forcing the change. She nervously accepted everyone’s congratulations and explained the situation to acquaintances. Fortunately, having lived in the capital for many years, she rarely interacted with others, and since Wei Hua and Wei Lan looked identical, especially when they were young, everyone accepted the Old Madam’s explanation.

Thus, in this way, Wei Lan managed to become the heir, a fact that still gave the Old Madam a headache just thinking about it.

But after Wei Lan became the heir, the benefits also became apparent. After all, she was an heir favoured by the Emperor.

The father’s status rose because of the son, and it was heard that Wei Shao, who was at the frontline, was finally moved from his forward position. If Wei Lan continued to manage the capital for some time, a recall wouldn’t be far off.

Thinking of this, Old Madam Wei felt that Wei Lan becoming the heir wasn’t such a bad thing.

But when she thought of Wei Lan’s demeanour, which was even more masculine than her brother’s, and Wei Hua’s appearance, which was even more delicate than his sister’s, Old Madam Wei felt her heart stuffed, feeling really distressed. She wanted to shove these two back into their mother’s womb, switch their genders, and give them a new birth!

T/n: Since it is a gender-bender story, I’ve used he/him/his as Wei Lan’s pronouns in the beginning and used she/her/hers afterwards when we come to know her gender. Similarly, I’ll be using the male pronouns when it’s the PoV of someone who doesn’t know her gender and switch back to female pronouns when it’s Wei Lan’s PoV or someone who knows the secret.

Shizi¹: Heir apparent of a noble house; different from Gongzi, which can be directly translated to ‘Young Master’. I’ll only be using Shizi whenever the direct translation makes the sentence feel weird, especially in conversations.

Shi²: Maiden name, clan name. A married woman is referred to by her maiden name.

Māmā³: An address for an elderly woman