The General Says She Won't Marry - Chapter 57 Part 1

Faced with Beichen Long’s question, Lin Aoxue remained alert. She did not mention that she had been swept away to the grasslands by the river but only stated that she had been captured by the barbarians during the battle. However, she was severely injured and imprisoned in a dungeon, unconscious for a long time before she finally woke up. She was in poor condition, but the barbarians did not want her to die too easily, so they provided her with food and water to keep her alive.

Later, someone came to interrogate her. She could not understand the barbarian language, so a barbarian who spoke the Beichen tongue questioned her about the situation inside Xingbei Pass. Lin Aoxue claimed that she was of low status and had no valuable information to provide. Enraged, the barbarians threw her into what resembled a gladiatorial arena, forcing her to fight against ruthless and savage opponents.

Lin Aoxue recounted everything that had happened to her after arriving in the grasslands, mixing truth with falsehood, telling the story in full.

“Later, I nearly died there. The barbarians suddenly changed their minds and dragged me along their march to Xingbei Pass. Unexpectedly, they managed to use my worthless life as leverage to extort ten whole carts of provisions from the general.” As she spoke, Lin Aoxue dropped to her knees with a loud thud, bowing her head low in deep respect and guilt. With sincerity, she said, “The general is generous, and I am filled with shame and remorse.”

Beichen Long let out a long sigh and personally reached out to help Lin Aoxue up. Patting her shoulder, he said, “You have endured hardships. To have survived captivity at the hands of the barbarians and returned alive is truly rare. After great tribulation comes fortune. I will honor my word and promote you to deputy general.”

Though Beichen Long harbored some doubts about Lin Aoxue’s captivity, he had heard of the barbarian gladiatorial arenas before. If she had never been there, she would not have been able to describe them in such vivid detail. Those who were thrown into the arena were either ferocious criminals or captives taken from Beichen—few ever made it out alive.

When Lin Aoxue spoke of the arena, Beichen Long finally felt reassured.

However, upon hearing Beichen Long’s decision, Lin Aoxue was utterly shocked. Her expression turned panicked, and she was about to kneel again, eyes filled with urgency as she hurriedly protested, “Sir, this must not happen! To be captured on the battlefield was already my failure, and I even caused Xingbei Pass to lose ten carts of provisions. Such a crime—You have already been merciful by not punishing me. How could I possibly accept a promotion? This is absolutely unacceptable!”

Lin Aoxue’s straightforward and unassuming attitude finally dispelled Beichen Long’s lingering doubts. He burst into hearty laughter. “You’re certainly different from others! Anyone else given such an opportunity would fight tooth and nail for the promotion. But look at you—pushing away something that rightfully belongs to you!”

Lin Aoxue stiffened her neck stubbornly and, like a fool, insisted, “Rewards should go to those who have made real contributions. A soldier like me, bearing disgrace, has no right to such an honor!”

Beichen Long shook his head with a smile and gave her a light slap on the forehead. “Enough, stop talking. If you really feel guilty, I’ll promote you to duwei for now. When you finally come around, I’ll raise you to deputy general. That’s final. Now go!”

With his decision made, Beichen Long raised his arm, gesturing for Lin Aoxue to leave. Having no choice, Lin Aoxue bowed and took her leave. But just as she reached the entrance of the tent, Beichen Long called out again.

Lin Aoxue froze, alarm bells ringing in her mind. She feared that Beichen Long still harbored suspicion and was about to question her further.

But when she turned around, Beichen Long merely said, “You didn’t return from battle that day, so Yun Yan took your belongings. If you have time, go to the market and take a look.”

Lin Aoxue was momentarily stunned upon hearing Beichen Long’s words. She had not expected him to bring up Yun Yan, but since he did, it gave her a legitimate reason to meet Yun Yan openly. She bowed and responded, “Yes, thank you, sir.”

With that, Lin Aoxue lifted the tent flap and stepped outside.

Beichen Long was deeply dissatisfied with Lin Aoxue’s attachment to a woman who had once worked in a brothel. Even though Yun Yan had changed her status, she could not erase her past at Yanyu Tower. That establishment had powerful backing from influential forces in the capital, and for Yun Yan to have risen to the rank of top courtesan, it was likely that she had received support from those in power, aside from her own stunning beauty.

This was what worried Beichen Long the most. He wanted to entrust great responsibilities to Lin Aoxue, so he did not wish for her to get too involved with Yanyu Tower. However, he felt conflicted—Yun Yan was undeniably talented and seemed to genuinely care for Lin Aoxue. If only she had been born into a different background, even just an ordinary family, Beichen Long would have had no objections.

That day, Yun Yan had waited beneath Xingbei Pass, and upon hearing the tragic news, she took the initiative to collect Lin Aoxue’s belongings. This made Beichen Long feel that she was indeed a decent person. Since Lin Aoxue was unwilling to let her go, if they were permitted to be together, it might harm Lin Aoxue’s future and reputation. However, as long as she did not take Yun Yan as a legitimate wife, the issue did not seem too severe.

Thinking of this, Beichen Long let out a helpless smile. After Lin Aoxue left, he sighed softly and shook his head. “As a general of the army, to think I am worrying about my subordinates’ marriages… ridiculous, truly ridiculous.”

***

After leaving Beichen Long’s tent, Lin Aoxue pondered for a moment. Since she had already been granted permission, it would not seem odd or inappropriate for her to visit Yun Yan at the Xingbei marketplace. Thus, she returned to her tent, intending to change clothes before heading to the clinic.

However, when she opened her cabinet, she suddenly remembered that all of her belongings had already been taken by Yun Yan, including her few new sets of clothing. Now, the only thing she could wear was the military uniform she currently had on.

She shrugged helplessly. Forget it, no need to change. Back when she had first joined the military and had just met Yun Yan, she often went to the market in her uniform without a second thought. She had done it so many times without hesitation. Yet now, after her feelings for Yun Yan had deepened into something more greedy and possessive, she had begun to care about her appearance.

Lin Aoxue let out a small laugh, shut the cabinet, and informed the guards before leaving the military camp for the marketplace.

Although Lin Aoxue had been away for two months, the Xingbei Pass marketplace remained unchanged. As she watched the bustling crowds passing by, she felt as though she had returned from another lifetime.

Only now did she truly understand the feeling of surviving a disaster. She had really left the grasslands behind and returned to Xingbei Pass.

The scene before her was so vivid and real. If she followed this road straight ahead, passed through the long street, and turned at the corner where the scent of wine lingered in the air, she would see that clinic with the embarrassingly suggestive name.

In a shop at the street corner, Lin Aoxue picked out a half-mask and put it on. Then, taking a deep breath, she let the cool air of the Xingbei Pass marketplace fill her lungs. Subconsciously pressing her lips together, she stepped forward and headed toward the clinic she remembered.

As she turned the corner, Lin Aoxue instinctively glanced at the clinic. There were patients coming and going, and the attendants inside were busy tending to them. Standing at the entrance, Lin Aoxue looked around but did not see Yun Yan anywhere.

Suppressing the nervousness rising in her heart, she stepped up onto the clinic’s stone steps and approached one of the attendants.

“Excuse me, is Doctor Yun here?”

The attendant paused for a moment before recognizing Lin Aoxue from her habit of wearing a half-mask. “Oh! What bad timing, County Commandant Lin. Doctor Yun left early this morning and hasn’t returned yet.”

Hearing this, Lin Aoxue blinked twice. Her emotions were complex. She knew she had not arranged a meeting with Yun Yan in advance, so it was not surprising that she did not find her here. It was logical and expected. Yet, she still could not suppress the disappointment in her heart. She had thought they would meet right away, but now all her anticipation had come to nothing.

If she felt this disheartened over something so small, then what about Yun Yan, who had waited in the military camp for the war to end? She had been waiting for Lin Aoxue to return triumphantly on horseback, only to receive news of her death on the battlefield. What kind of despair must that have been?

Lin Aoxue pressed her lips tightly together, her expression darkening, a hint of sorrow surfacing in her eyes.

Ever since she lost her parents, she had believed that she would spend the rest of her life alone, wandering through the world untethered, with nothing to hold her back. She never imagined that one day, she would meet someone like this—beautiful and intelligent, charming yet gentle. Someone who thought of her, waited for her, sewed her clothes, and longed for her return.

She was bewitched, unable to resist such warmth. Yun Yan’s kindness was like a net, ensnaring her completely. Even though she knew the road ahead might be perilous, she could not help but be drawn to Yun Yan.

She thanked the attendant and asked when Yun Yan might return. The attendant said he wasn’t sure, as Yun Yan had not given any instructions when she left.

Lin Aoxue sighed in resignation. It seemed unlikely that she would see Yun Yan today. Turning around, she decided to leave the clinic and sit at a nearby tea stall to wait for a while. Yun Yan had waited for her for two months—surely she could wait just a little longer.

However, just as Lin Aoxue stepped over the clinic’s threshold, she suddenly froze in place.

She stared blankly outside the clinic. Yun Yan stood at the entrance, frozen in place, unmoving as she gazed at Lin Aoxue, who had just stepped out of the door.

Their eyes met in midair. Yun Yan stood still, without an overwhelming surge of joy or tearful emotion. Her gaze was calm and gentle, though a mist of unshed tears gathered in her eyes, on the verge of breaking through her restraint. Just before reaching that limit, she curved her lips into a soft smile and spoke in an ordinary, almost casual tone, “You’re back.”

Lin Aoxue felt her throat tighten, nearly losing control of her emotions on the spot.

Yun Yan’s voice was so light, as if she had always been waiting for her return, as if she had forgotten the devastating news of her death beyond the pass, as if she had never believed she would simply vanish from the world. She had waited for Lin Aoxue, no matter when she would come back, and she welcomed her now without the slightest trace of surprise.

A lump formed in Lin Aoxue’s throat, and the sting at the tip of her nose made it impossible for her to respond right away. She covered her mouth with her hand, struggling for a long moment to regain her composure. Suppressing the urge to let her tears spill over, she forced herself to answer as calmly, as naturally as possible—just as she would have in the past when visiting.

“Mm. The camp isn’t too busy today, so I came by to check in.”

Yun Yan laughed softly. She stepped closer and, without caring about the people around them, reached out to take Lin Aoxue’s hand. This time, unlike before when she would only grasp the edge of her sleeve, she held Lin Aoxue’s palm fully, her fingers brushing over the calloused skin, savoring the warmth in her grip. She could feel her—truly see her, truly touch her.

Only now, even though her face remained composed, a storm of emotion surged within her. The impact Lin Aoxue had on her was undeniable—there was no escaping it anymore.

After a month of waiting, Yun Yan had calmed from the initial shock of learning that Lin Aoxue was still alive. Just yesterday, she had received word that the barbarian soldiers had delivered Lin Aoxue back to Xingbei Pass in exchange for ten carts of grain. Yet now, seeing her in person, she was still stunned, frozen, barely able to keep from breaking down in tears.

But she held it all back. The flood of emotions pressing against her heart was forcefully dammed up, her rational mind still fighting against the overwhelming urge to collapse.

When Yun Yan took her hand, Lin Aoxue tensed for a brief second before quickly relaxing. The moment she thought about all the grief Yun Yan had endured—saw the quiet, stubborn resilience in her eyes—she felt something in her own heart being pierced deeply. It was impossible to refuse her anything.

With Lin Aoxue in tow, Yun Yan led her through the clinic. Under the knowing gazes of the attendants, they passed through the main hall and headed toward the back courtyard. She walked straight into a small room, shut the door behind them, and before Lin Aoxue could fully process what was happening, Yun Yan suddenly threw herself into her arms.

She held Lin Aoxue tightly, with all the strength she could muster, as if she wanted to fuse their flesh, their very existence together.

She had thought she wouldn’t cry. Yet the moment they were out of sight from others, she could no longer suppress the storm raging inside her.

When she had first heard of Lin Aoxue’s death on the battlefield, she had been heartbroken—crushed by grief—but she had not cried. When she received the letter from Zheji, overwhelmed with joy and disbelief, she had not cried.

And yet now, when she thought she could face Lin Aoxue calmly, when she thought she could keep her emotions in check, all those illusions shattered the instant she saw her.

Lin Aoxue always had a way of effortlessly breaking through the composed mask she wore in front of others, exposing the most vulnerable parts of her heart.

The fear, the pain, the helplessness she had buried deep inside all burst forth in this moment. Her body trembled uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking as she clung desperately to Lin Aoxue, gripping the fabric of her clothes tighter and tighter.

She was so afraid—so terribly afraid—that Lin Aoxue would leave her forever.

Lin Aoxue stood frozen, not knowing where to place her hands. It wasn’t until she felt the damp warmth against her neck that she lowered her gaze and slowly wrapped her arms around Yun Yan’s shoulders.

Yun Yan was someone who never easily shed tears.

The last time Lin Aoxue had seen her cry was back in the capital. Yun Yan had been injured, her back still marked by whip scars. Lin Aoxue had been tending to her wounds when something had touched on her sorrow.

And now, these tears soaking into her clothes—these tears were for her.

A sharp ache gripped Lin Aoxue’s heart. She felt completely helpless, unsure how to comfort her. All she could do was tighten her embrace, pulling Yun Yan even closer, and clumsily whisper, “Don’t cry. I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Yun Yan didn’t lift her head, burying her face entirely in Lin Aoxue’s embrace. Her muffled voice carried a hint of grievance as she muttered, “You liar.”

Her voice was thick with suppressed sobs, hazy and trembling, like it was wrapped in a layer of mist, clawing at Lin Aoxue’s heart. Lin Aoxue was momentarily bewildered, blinking twice in confusion before finally asking, “Yan’er, why do you say that?”

Yun Yan rubbed against Lin Aoxue’s chest twice, wiping away the tears on her face before tilting her head up slightly. Though her eyes were red, they did nothing to diminish her beauty. Instead, the tear-streaked look only added a fragile, delicate charm to her, making Lin Aoxue’s heart soften completely.

She gazed into Lin Aoxue’s eyes, watching her dazed expression, then suddenly pulled her hands back, cupping Lin Aoxue’s face. Before Lin Aoxue could react, Yun Yan pressed a firm kiss to her lips, biting down on the soft flesh.

When Lin Aoxue gasped in surprise, Yun Yan finally let go slightly, her face filled with indignation as she said, “You told me to wait for you to return, but you broke your promise. You liar.”

Lin Aoxue’s breath hitched, suddenly realizing that Yun Yan was referring to the words she had spoken before going to battle—“Wait for me to come back.” She was accusing her of leaving and never coming back.

A sharp pain twisted in Lin Aoxue’s chest, wrenching at her insides. It wasn’t just the words themselves that hurt, but the hidden emotions Yun Yan had never shown before. Lin Aoxue had given her hope, only to leave that hope unfulfilled. If not for Zheji’s unexpected decision to release her, who knew how long Yun Yan would have waited?

But on the battlefield, such things were common. She couldn’t even keep such a simple promise—how could she ever dare to promise Yun Yan a lifetime?

As disappointment weighed down her gaze, Yun Yan noticed her expression and immediately guessed what was going through her mind. She cupped Lin Aoxue’s face once more, forcing her to meet her eyes as she said softly, “You still came back in the end. Even though you were late, I forgive you.” Her eyes were sincere and gentle, burning Lin Aoxue’s heart with a searing warmth.

Between them, Lin Aoxue had always been the one more cherished. Yun Yan nurtured her fragile, sensitive heart with boundless tenderness. Everyone lived difficult lives—Lin Aoxue had suffered through hardships, but had Yun Yan ever had it any easier?

Yun Yan never asked for much—only Lin Aoxue’s battered and bruised heart. And Lin Aoxue didn’t have much to give, except for the passion that still carried some weight within her. If Yun Yan wanted it, she would give it to her. Even then, she feared it wouldn’t be enough to match the feelings Yun Yan had offered her.

She had always hesitated, afraid that the risks of revealing her true identity would bring Yun Yan unbearable harm. But their lives were already difficult enough—adding layers of restraint and polite distance between them would only make things unnecessarily heavier, more complicated.