The General Says She Won't Marry - Chapter 39 Part 1

Lin Aoxue paused in her movement to push the door open, stiffly standing at the entrance. When Yun Yan was unconscious, she hadn’t felt much, but now that Yun Yan was awake, she suddenly grew nervous and flustered, not knowing what to do.

Noticing her dazed expression, Yun Yan let out a chuckle, but the laughter accidentally tugged at the wounds on her back, making her eyebrows knit together in pain. She immediately fell silent.

Seeing this, Lin Aoxue forgot about her own nervousness. She quickly strode into the room, practically taking three steps in two, and hurriedly placed the medicine bowl on the bedside table. Her voice was urgent as she scolded, “Be careful! Don’t pull at your wounds!”

The pain in Yun Yan’s back soon subsided. Seeing Lin Aoxue so anxious, a soft smile appeared in her eyes. Tilting her head slightly, she watched as Lin Aoxue quickly walked over, leaned down, and tucked in the slightly loosened corner of the blanket around her. Suddenly, Yun Yan asked, “Did you bring me back?”

Lin Aoxue’s hand froze as she tucked the blanket. Her gaze flickered evasively, avoiding Yun Yan’s eyes. She hesitated for a moment before muttering a quiet “Mm.”

“Then… was it you who applied the medicine for me?” Yun Yan asked again.

Lin Aoxue’s eyes darted away even more, and the tips of her ears turned red. “Mm,” she murmured in a muffled voice.

But Yun Yan didn’t let her off so easily. She delivered the final, fatal blow. 

“Did you take off my clothes?”

A loud buzz erupted in Lin Aoxue’s head, as if thunder had exploded in her mind, leaving her thoughts blank. Her brain short-circuited, and she stood there, frozen. Earlier, she had been entirely focused on tending to Yun Yan’s injuries, so she hadn’t thought about anything else. Now that Yun Yan had mentioned it, the words “taking off clothes” suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

Lin Aoxue was utterly embarrassed. The side of her face that was exposed turned visibly red at an astonishing speed. She pressed her lips together tightly—if there had been a crack in the ground big enough to fit her, she would have jumped in without hesitation.

Seeing Lin Aoxue remain silent for so long, Yun Yan pressed on again. “Did you take off my clothes?”

Lin Aoxue felt Yun Yan’s gaze burning into her face like fire, making her feel unbearably hot, as if it was scorching away her mask and peering straight into her heart. She didn’t know how to respond. It felt like a little deer was jumping wildly inside her chest.

Yun Yan, however, kept her gaze fixed on Lin Aoxue, studying every subtle expression on her face. There was something hidden in Yun Yan’s eyes, something that seemed ready to spill over along with the warmth in her gaze.

She wasn’t looking for a definite answer—she already knew exactly what had happened. But she wanted to hear Lin Aoxue say it out loud.

In the end, Lin Aoxue surrendered. Her shoulders slumped, and with an air of resignation, she admitted, “Yes, it was me.”

Yun Yan instantly broke into a smile, her eyes brimming with a soft, warm glow. Despite her serious injuries, she looked as if she had found hope, grinning with unrestrained joy. She reached an arm out from under the quilt and beckoned to Lin Aoxue. “Come closer.”

Lin Aoxue looked confused but didn’t outright refuse. Though deeply embarrassed, she also felt a bit apprehensive. As she looked at the smile on Yun Yan’s face, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something meaningful hidden in her gaze, as if she was plotting something. It made Lin Aoxue’s skin crawl.

But she couldn’t bring herself to refuse Yun Yan’s request. After a moment of mental preparation, she hesitantly inched forward.

“Closer,” Yun Yan urged. Lin Aoxue still seemed too far away—Yun Yan reached out but couldn’t quite touch her.

Lin Aoxue moved two inches forward.

“Come here!” Yun Yan demanded, her expression turning fierce.

Lin Aoxue flinched, and under the immense pressure, she gave in, gritting her teeth as she took a determined step forward, as if walking to her doom.

“Lean down,” Yun Yan issued another order.

Lin Aoxue felt like she was about to suffocate, but she still obeyed, lowering herself closer.

Judging the distance to be just right, Yun Yan suddenly reached out, grabbed Lin Aoxue by the collar, and yanked her downward. Caught off guard, Lin Aoxue lost her balance and tumbled forward, half of her body landing on top of Yun Yan with a soft thud.

She might have pulled too hard. A sharp pain shot through Yun Yan’s back, making her wince.

Hearing Yun Yan’s sharp intake of breath, Lin Aoxue panicked. She hurriedly tried to push herself up, but to her surprise, Yun Yan—despite the pain—refused to let go. She gripped Lin Aoxue’s collar tightly, glaring at her.

“Don’t move.”

“But your injury—”

This time, Lin Aoxue didn’t obediently listen. She struggled to get up, worried that pressing down on Yun Yan would worsen her wound and slow its healing.

But Yun Yan still wouldn’t let go. Instead, she tugged Lin Aoxue back down and snapped, “It’s your fault for being so strong! I told you not to move—it really hurts!”

Lin Aoxue froze when Yun Yan scolded her, realizing that her movement had aggravated Yun Yan’s wound. She didn’t dare move anymore and remained awkwardly sprawled over Yun Yan in an extremely embarrassing and ambiguous position. She felt utterly mortified and couldn’t understand why Yun Yan was doing this.

Yun Yan took a deep breath, thinking that after all this commotion, her back wound had probably worsened and would need to be checked again—by this fool, no less. That thought alone inexplicably made her face flush. A delicate pink hue spread across her fair skin, leaving Lin Aoxue momentarily stunned by the sight.

Lin Aoxue’s gaze became unfocused as she drifted into a daze. Seeing this, Yun Yan tugged at her collar, shaking her slightly. When Lin Aoxue snapped back to reality in shock, Yun Yan pulled her even closer, shrinking the distance between them until they could feel each other’s warm breath.

Lin Aoxue’s face grew redder and redder, as if it were about to ignite.

“Aoxue,” Yun Yan called her name softly, her voice carrying a gentle, misty warmth. 

In Lin Aoxue’s ears, it took on an inexplicable, sultry quality that made her instinctively hold her breath. Her whole body stiffened, and her shoulders even trembled slightly. She had a feeling Yun Yan was about to say something utterly earth-shattering, and the thought terrified her.

“You stripped off my clothes and saw my body. Shouldn’t you take responsibility for that?”

As soon as those words left Yun Yan’s lips, her warm breath caressed Lin Aoxue’s face, making her knees nearly buckle on the spot. Her mind went blank. She could no longer think. No words came to refute Yun Yan’s claim, yet something about it felt… off.

“I…” she stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence. Her arms, bracing against the bed beside Yun Yan, trembled even more violently.

“What, you don’t want to?” Yun Yan’s eyes gleamed mischievously, her smile widening as she watched Lin Aoxue’s utterly flustered expression. She couldn’t hide her amusement no matter how hard she tried.

Lin Aoxue’s eyes turned red with frustration. She shrank her neck, trembling as she desperately tried to find a response in the swirling fog of her mind.

“But… we’re both women. Seeing each other’s bodies isn’t a big deal…”

She finally managed to voice a reason, but the moment she said it, she felt as if all her strength had been drained. A hollow emptiness spread through her chest, as if something had been carved out of her, leaving an aching void where cold air rushed in from all directions.

Yun Yan’s smile didn’t waver. She tugged at Lin Aoxue’s collar again, forcing her even closer, and asked in return, “Who said that just because we’re both women, it’s okay to look at someone else’s body?”

Lin Aoxue choked on her words, completely stumped. She stood frozen as if struck by lightning, unable to come up with a single rebuttal.

Yun Yan pressed on. “So you don’t want to take responsibility? Are you planning to abandon me after having your way with me?”

Lin Aoxue was completely at Yun Yan’s mercy now. She knew something was wrong with Yun Yan’s argument, but she simply couldn’t find a way to refute it. She opened her mouth wide, her face flushing a deep red, utterly dazed and unable to form a response.

Panicked and overwhelmed, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “But you’ve seen me too! More than once!”

Yun Yan burst into laughter, not bothering to hide her delight. She followed Lin Aoxue’s logic effortlessly. “That’s true. So I should take responsibility for you too.”

Lin Aoxue’s mind went completely blank. She stared at Yun Yan in a daze, struggling to process the meaning of those words.

But Yun Yan didn’t give her the chance to think it through. Suddenly, she pulled Lin Aoxue down forcefully and, catching her off guard, pressed a warm, soft kiss against her lips.

Lin Aoxue’s eyes widened in shock. Her breath hitched. The sweet, delicate sensation sent her heart racing wildly, a surge of heat rushing to her head. She felt dizzy, her limbs weak and powerless, as if she might collapse onto Yun Yan and never be able to get up again.

She thought she might actually die—not from battle, not from vengeance left unfulfilled, but from being kissed to death in a moment of unexpected tenderness.

She had no idea how much time passed before Yun Yan finally let her go. Tilting her head slightly, Yun Yan gazed at her with a playful glint in her eyes, one brow arched. “Well?”

Lin Aoxue’s whole body was rigid with tension, too nervous to even register the beauty of the kiss. She trembled, her eyes quickly reddening, tears welling up as an overwhelming sense of grievance surged within her.

Yun Yan was taken aback. Lin Aoxue’s reaction made her question herself—had she acted too rashly? Had she misread everything? Was it possible that Lin Aoxue’s kindness toward her held no deeper meaning? That Lin Aoxue truly saw her as nothing more than a sister, with not even a trace of any other sentiment?

A dimness clouded Yun Yan’s gaze, a sour, bitter feeling welling up in her chest. Her eyes lowered slightly as she loosened her grip on Lin Aoxue’s collar.

Freed from Yun Yan’s grasp, Lin Aoxue staggered back two steps, bracing herself against the bedside cabinet to steady her shaking form. Her heart pounded furiously, so fast it felt like it might leap out of her chest. She pressed down on the restless, surging emotions within her—greedy, desperate feelings that had been locked away, now bursting out like a dam breaking, taking the shape of a ravenous beast threatening to consume her whole.

She was terrified—terrified of losing control, terrified of letting these long-suppressed emotions dictate her actions. She feared that once she indulged, she would never be able to let go.

“Focus on recovering, and stop moving around so much. The medicine’s gone cold—I’ll go warm it up.” Lin Aoxue blurted the words out in a rush before grabbing the bowl of medicine from the bedside. She didn’t even care that the liquid sloshed over the rim, scalding her hands. Clutching the bowl tightly, she fled from the room as though escaping a calamity.

With a soft click, the door shut behind her.

Yun Yan lay in silence, gazing up at the now dimly lit ceiling. With Lin Aoxue gone, it felt as if all the warmth and light had been taken with her, leaving behind only the cold. The chill seeped in from every direction, filling the emptiness in her chest.

A long, helpless sigh broke the stillness. “But… you had already walked away. So why did you have to come back and save me?”

If Lin Aoxue insisted on treating her so well, how was she supposed to suppress the emotions growing inside her? How was she supposed to hold back when she was already past the point of restraint, possessed by an overwhelming need to be with Lin Aoxue?

If that was the case… even if Lin Aoxue resisted, Yun Yan would carve her way through every obstacle, break through every wall, and force her way into Lin Aoxue’s heart.

There was still time. She could take it slow.

***

Lin Aoxue sat curled up in front of the stove, hugging her knees, absentmindedly fanning the flames. Her vacant eyes were fixed on the medicine pot, watching the lid tremble with each bubbling burst of steam. She was so lost in thought that even when some of the medicine spilled over, she didn’t notice. It wasn’t until a sudden jet of steam sent the lid clattering that she jolted back to reality.

She quickly pursed her lips and fumbled to tilt the lid slightly, leaving a gap so the liquid wouldn’t overflow again.

Her heart was in turmoil.

Slowly, the panic settled, and as the second batch of medicine neared completion, she still found herself unable to return to that room.

She didn’t know how to face Yun Yan now. What expression should she wear? What should she say? How could she keep herself from being so utterly defenseless, from falling into disarray the moment Yun Yan was near?

That single moment had shifted everything between them. She could no longer hide behind the illusion of sisterhood, pretending that her heart wasn’t wavering.

And yet… she couldn’t bring herself to push Yun Yan away either.

If something were to happen to Yun Yan, if she were to be injured again—Lin Aoxue knew, without a doubt, that she would still make the same choice. No matter how she tried to restrain herself, when it came to Yun Yan, her reason crumbled, leaving her powerless to resist.

Even though she knew Yun Yan was dangerous, she still couldn’t draw a line between them. She had no idea what to do.

Beneath all the overwhelming panic and guilt, a traitorous sliver of joy lurked—one she couldn’t ignore, one she couldn’t lie to herself about. And for that, she despised herself.

Her revenge was not yet fulfilled. How could she afford to be distracted?

Her revenge was not yet fulfilled. How could she allow herself to be reckless?

The faces of her wrongfully executed parents flashed before her eyes. She thought of Sui Liang, taken away by Beichen He. Clarity slowly returned to Lin Aoxue’s gaze.

Even if her heart had already been invaded, even if she was trapped and unable to break free, she had no right to entertain such emotions. Not now.

Lin Aoxue sat in front of the fire for a long time, waiting for her emotions to settle. Once she had finally regained her composure, she took the warmed medicine and made her way back toward Yun Yan’s room. No matter what, she couldn’t let her own hesitation delay Yun Yan’s recovery.

She hesitated outside the door for a while before mustering the courage to push it open.

Outside, the sky had turned completely dark. The room was dim, and at a glance, Lin Aoxue thought Yun Yan had already fallen asleep. She tiptoed inside and quietly lit the oil lamp on the table.

The gentle glow illuminated the small space, casting a warm, golden hue over the room. Lin Aoxue adjusted the wick slightly before picking up the bowl of medicine and walking toward the bed.

The person on the bed had her eyes closed, her expression soft, her long lashes faintly trembling. Just as Lin Aoxue approached, Yun Yan seemed to sense something. Her eyelids fluttered open.

A hint of drowsiness lingered in Yun Yan’s gaze. She stared at Lin Aoxue, who was stepping closer, the warm lamplight reflecting in her dark pupils, making them look both tranquil and tender.

Lin Aoxue’s heart gave a fierce tremor.

She felt herself being pulled in, drawn deeper and deeper into the abyss of those dark, unreadable eyes.

There was no resisting it.

There was no escape.

“I thought you were asleep,” Lin Aoxue murmured, her voice hoarse and barely recognizable.

Yun Yan blinked, her vision clearing. She looked at Lin Aoxue, who seemed flustered yet didn’t avoid her gaze. A soft smile spread across Yun Yan’s lips, her eyes curving into a quiet arc. “I woke up when I felt you coming.”

Lin Aoxue couldn’t quite describe what she was feeling—an aching sourness mixed with a kind of wild joy that nearly brought her to tears. She had never realized before how fragile she was, how easily she could cry.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to steady herself, her throat tightening as she struggled to find her voice. When she finally managed to speak, her voice was small but clear enough for Yun Yan to hear. “The medicine is warm now. I’ll feed it to you while it’s still hot.”

Yun Yan noticed Lin Aoxue’s nervousness. A hint of disappointment flickered through her heart, but she was also content with the gentleness Lin Aoxue unconsciously displayed. She gazed at Lin Aoxue for a long moment before nodding obediently and letting out a soft hum in response.

Lin Aoxue stepped forward carefully, supporting Yun Yan as she helped her sit up. Since Yun Yan’s injury was on her back and she couldn’t lean against anything, Lin Aoxue thoughtfully pulled her into her arms, allowing Yun Yan to rest at a comfortable angle.

Just as Yun Yan had once done for her, Lin Aoxue fed her the medicine spoonful by spoonful. Yun Yan accepted the warmth without resistance, savoring the rare tenderness. She didn’t ask Lin Aoxue for an explanation, nor did she demand to know what she meant to her.

The bowl of medicine was soon empty. Yun Yan tilted her head back slightly, looking at Lin Aoxue with an expression that was both helpless and pitiful. Testing the waters, she softly asked, “My back hurts a little. Can you check it for me?”

Lin Aoxue’s hands trembled violently, and she nearly dropped the bowl.

A flash of panic crossed her eyes, but before she could completely lose composure, she forced herself to regain control. Biting her lip lightly, she averted her gaze and nodded stiffly. “Alright.”

Yun Yan’s smile deepened. The disappointment she had felt earlier at Lin Aoxue’s resistance slowly faded. At least Lin Aoxue still cared for her. She still held a place in Lin Aoxue’s heart.

For now, that was enough.