The General Says She Won't Marry - Chapter 38 Part 1

The carriage rushed toward the capital overnight without a moment’s delay.

Midway through the journey, rain suddenly began to fall—a spring rain, light and continuous, draping the vast land in a misty veil. It seemed to seep into the world itself, as well as into the hearts of those within the carriage.

Inside, the atmosphere was heavy with silence. Lin Aoxue remained quiet from start to finish, and Yun Yan no longer pressed her. The once-close bond between them now felt strained, an invisible barrier forming due to Lin Aoxue’s cold and distant response earlier. They no longer spoke with the same openness as before.

Time stretched endlessly, and the road seemed to have no end. Every passing moment spent together felt like a searing brand against Lin Aoxue’s heart.

She kept her head lowered the entire time until the light outside the window gradually brightened, the rain faded, and the towering gates of the capital drew closer, coming into clearer view.

The gate guards lifted the carriage’s curtain, casting a glance at the two silent figures inside before letting it drop again. Yun Yan instructed the shadow guard driving the carriage to head toward the inn where Lin Aoxue had previously stayed. Lin Aoxue lifted her gaze, glancing at Yun Yan’s profile but said nothing.

When the carriage arrived at the inn, Lin Aoxue stepped out and turned back to look at Yun Yan, who remained seated inside, her expression calm and composed. As the curtain slowly fell, hiding that tranquil and beautiful face bit by bit, an inexplicable pain seized Lin Aoxue’s heart. It felt as if an invisible hand had suddenly clenched around it, squeezing out a suffocating ache.

Yet, she remained silent.

The window curtain was drawn down as well. The horse let out a sharp neigh, pulling the carriage forward once more. The wheels turned, carrying it farther and farther away.

Lin Aoxue stood frozen in place, her gaze fixed in the direction Yun Yan had left. For a long moment, her thoughts were a chaotic mess. Her mind went blank, unable to form a single coherent thought. All she knew was an unbearable emptiness gnawed at her chest, a lingering sorrow settling in her heart, making her feel as if she had made a mistake—but she didn’t know what it was.

Only when the carriage had completely disappeared from view did she snap out of her daze. Turning around, she walked toward the inn. A flicker of confusion crossed her face, barely visible beneath her mask. As she climbed the stairs, her distracted thoughts caused her to stumble, nearly falling down.

She grabbed onto the railing just in time, her free hand instinctively pressing against her forehead, covering the half of her face marred by burns. A sharp, twisting pain surged through her chest, almost unbearable.

And with every step that widened the distance between her and Yun Yan, that pain only deepened.

She didn’t even understand why she felt this way.

She had no idea how much time had passed or how many curious gazes had fallen upon her before she finally reached her room. She had only been away for two days, yet it felt like months had passed. The moment she pushed open the door, a sense of familiar estrangement struck her, like a sharp blade piercing straight into her heart.

Her body had returned, but it felt as if her heart had gone missing somewhere along the way.

Gritting her teeth, she sat down at the table, breathing heavily, forcing herself to regain composure—determined not to appear too fragile or pathetic.

A waiter soon arrived with a pot of hot tea. Lin Aoxue removed her mask, setting it aside. As she poured tea into a cup, her hand trembled slightly. The scalding liquid missed its intended path and spilled onto her fingertips.

The sudden sting made her jerk her hand back, knocking over the cup in the process. She stared blankly as the porcelain rolled across the table before slipping off the edge and shattering on the floor with a crisp, breaking sound.

Moments later, the waiter knocked on the door, his voice tinged with curiosity and concern as he asked if everything was all right.

Lin Aoxue swallowed dryly, her eyes locked onto the scattered shards. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and replied hoarsely, “Just a broken teacup. It’s nothing.”

Hearing this, the waiter withdrew.

Lin Aoxue bent down to clean up the fragments, but in the process, a sharp edge nicked her palm, leaving behind a shallow cut.

She watched as a thin line of blood slowly seeped from the half-inch-long cut on her palm. Then, as if surrendering to despair, she sank to the ground, letting out a self-mocking yet helpless laugh. Her nose stung, and tears seemed to gather in her eyes. She took a deep breath, pressing both hands against her cheeks. She wanted to scream, to tear herself away from the abyss that had swallowed her whole.

“Lin Aoxue, you can’t be like this,” she murmured, trying to convince herself.

It had been her choice. She had been the one to push Yun Yan away. So why did it hurt so much? Why was she left in such a wretched state?

It felt as if nothing had happened between them—yet something beyond her expectations had undeniably taken place. So much so that when Yun Yan lowered the carriage curtain and left, she hadn’t even turned back to look at her.

Lin Aoxue understood all too well—Yun Yan was a dangerous woman. She had resisted her approach out of fear, terrified of the disaster that could befall her if she got too close. Yet at the same time, she was irresistibly drawn to her. The contradiction between her fears and her desires crushed her, making it difficult to breathe, yet she had no choice but to press on.

She didn’t know how long it would take to steady herself again. The feeling was akin to tending a wound—one she had to purge of poison, drop by agonizing drop, with her own hands.

Unnoticed, the sky outside had darkened. Lin Aoxue cleaned up the shattered teacup, changed into a fresh set of clothes, and as she moved, a small embroidered pouch slipped from her garments. She froze for a moment, remembering that Yun Yan had not taken it with her the day before. At some point, when she wasn’t paying attention, Yun Yan had placed it back against her chest.

She held the pouch tightly in her palm, her expression conflicted.

Aside from this embroidered pouch, her belongings also contained the knotted cord and jade pendant she had removed for the sake of her mission. This person had already carved her way into her heart—extracting her now would be anything but easy.

***

That night felt particularly long. Lin Aoxue sat against the wall until morning. In a dazed state, her mind kept drifting back to the night she had first been confined in the military camp by Beichen Long. Yun Yan had busied herself in and out of her tent, repeatedly checking her wounds, pressing a cool, damp cloth against her burning forehead to ease the fever.

Her thoughts blurred between dreams and reality. When the faint light of dawn crept in, she woke with a start, drenched in cold sweat. Her head throbbed with dizziness. She pressed her fingers against her temples, trying to ease the discomfort before forcing herself to get out of bed.

She took the black garments she had worn the night before and burned them in the inn’s back courtyard. Not long after she returned to her room, there was a knock at the door. When she opened it, she found herself face-to-face with a guard from the Prince of the First Rank’s residence.

“Qianhu Lin,” the man greeted.

At those words, Lin Aoxue immediately understood his purpose. She nodded and replied, “Give me a moment.” Then, she returned inside, straightened her attire, and followed the guard toward the prince’s estate.

A hint of unease still lingered in her heart. Though she trusted that Yun Yan would not reveal her secret—her true identity as a woman—to Beichen He, she was no longer certain. After what had transpired yesterday, would Yun Yan still view her as she once did? Would she still treat her with the same sense of camaraderie?

Lin Aoxue kept her head down as she followed the guard into the prince’s estate. Just as they were about to step through the gates, she unexpectedly crossed paths with Beichen Ling, who was about to depart. Beichen Ling swept a glance at Lin Aoxue, her expression noticeably cold—far from the gracious and composed demeanor she had displayed just days ago when she had invited Lin Aoxue into the estate for a discussion.

A servant lifted the carriage curtain for her, and without another look at Lin Aoxue, Beichen Ling stepped inside. Moments later, the carriage rolled away.

Lin Aoxue furrowed her brows but quickly relaxed her expression when she sensed the guard turning back toward her. She gave him a slight nod before stepping into the estate alone.

Beichen He was waiting for her in the study, as expected. Upon arrival, Lin Aoxue raised a hand and knocked lightly on the door.

From inside, Beichen He’s usual calm and indifferent voice rang out, “Enter.”

Lin Aoxue pushed the door open and stepped inside, then knelt before Beichen He’s desk.

“Lin Aoxue greets Your Highness.”

Upon seeing Lin Aoxue, a trace of satisfaction appeared on Beichen He’s face. He set down the brush in his hand, stood up, and walked over to her. Gently lifting her up, he said with a smile, “When there are no outsiders present, you need not observe such formalities.”

Lin Aoxue lowered her gaze and respectfully replied, “Thank you, Your Highness.”

Beichen He was quite pleased with Lin Aoxue. He patted her shoulder approvingly and praised, “You did well. You did not disappoint me.”

A smile of relief appeared on Lin Aoxue’s face as she responded sincerely, “It is all thanks to Your Highness’ guidance.”

Beichen He admired Lin Aoxue’s achievements and her composed demeanor despite her merits. Turning away, he retrieved the ledger that Yun Yan had handed him the previous day from a drawer. With a faint smile, he said, “Burn this.”

Lin Aoxue’s pupils contracted slightly as she looked at the ledger in his hands. A storm of emotions surged within her.

This was a sign—Beichen He was telling her that she had passed his test. He now trusted her completely, so much so that he was allowing her to destroy the ledger herself.

Yet her heart ached. This ledger had originally been in Yun Yan’s possession. The fact that it was now in Beichen He’s hands meant that after leaving her at the inn’s entrance last night, Yun Yan had come to the Prince of the First Rank’s estate and handed it over to him.

Even though she had always known that she and Yun Yan would inevitably stand on opposite sides one day, and even though she had been the one to let go, to sever what had once been between them, leaving only a final thread of distance—

Yun Yan’s gentleness still shook her resolve. Even after all the cruel words she had spoken, Yun Yan had not exposed her secret. Instead, she had spoken of Lin Aoxue’s accomplishments before Beichen He, ensuring that he would lower his guard completely.

A storm raged in Lin Aoxue’s heart once more, her emotions tangled and conflicted. In the end, she could only let out a quiet sigh of resignation.

She took the ledger from Beichen He’s hands, lit a flame before his eyes, and watched as it was reduced to ashes, scattering into the wind.

Beichen He maintained his usual calm and composed smile. Only after the ledger had been completely burned did he return to his seat, pick up his brush, and continue speaking, “The Third Prince’s leg is crippled—he will not be able to travel to the border as reinforcement. However, the fifty thousand troops are ready to march, and His Majesty’s decree cannot be overturned. Therefore, when the time comes, the army will inevitably require a new commander.” The sudden mention of this matter caught Lin Aoxue off guard, but she did not let her surprise show. She remained standing properly by the desk, her head lowered, listening attentively as Beichen He continued, “Since His Majesty must appoint a new general, he will have to choose from the two adult princes—the Second and the Fifth. Among them, the straightforward and forthright Fifth Prince has the higher chance of being selected. The Fifth Prince has always been close to me, so if His Majesty assigns him to the border for experience, I hope you will keep an eye on him and offer your assistance.”

Lin Aoxue quickly analyzed the situation. So Beichen He intended to support the Fifth Prince. Even if the emperor had not originally planned to send him to the border, Beichen He could still manipulate events to make it happen. The Third Prince’s sudden injury and forced removal from his military position was already a clear example of such maneuvering.

It seemed likely that the Fifth Prince trusted Beichen He greatly and saw this as an opportunity—by gaining military experience and authority at the border, he would strengthen his position in the struggle for the crown.

Lin Aoxue remained composed, her expression unchanged. With her head still lowered in deference, she answered humbly and respectfully, “Rest assured, Your Highness. I will do everything in my power to assist the Fifth Prince.”

Beichen He’s smile deepened as he nodded in satisfaction, then gestured for Lin Aoxue to take her leave.

***

As Lin Aoxue stepped out of the prince’s residence, her mind remained in a daze. Based on Beichen He’s words, the fifty thousand elite troops assigned by the emperor would soon be departing the capital for the northern frontier. The city’s climate was gradually warming, and even the withered old trees had begun to sprout new buds.

On her way back to the inn, Lin Aoxue heard the chirping of birds. She paused at Zhanyang Lake, gazing across the water at Golden Sparrow Tower. The tall building, which towered over the surrounding structures, stood quietly against the backdrop of the sun. The sunlight cast a golden outline around its silhouette, giving it an ethereal glow.

The willows along the lake’s shore had begun to turn green, and the red lotuses in the water, having endured the bleak winter, were starting to awaken and grow once more.

Lin Aoxue stared blankly at the scene, her heart feeling empty. It had been just over two months since she returned to the capital, yet in that short time, everything felt like a lifetime ago. Away from the northern battlefields, entangled in the power struggles of the capital’s elite, she felt like a drifting reed—rootless, untethered.

She wandered through the streets, made her way back to the inn, and fell into a deep sleep as soon as she lay down.

***

A few days later, Guo Wencheng invited her for drinks. After several rounds of wine, he suddenly slapped his thigh and said, “Qianhu Lin, I reckon that in half a month, the army will be setting off. It’s time for us to head back to the northern frontier!”

Lin Aoxue, who had just raised her wine bowl to her lips, paused for a moment. She lifted her gaze to Guo Wencheng and lowered her voice. “General Guo, do you know who will be leading the troops?”

Guo Wencheng waved a hand dismissively and shook his head with a loose, tipsy sway. “Who else could it be? Either the Second Prince or the Fifth Prince. Who can truly guess His Majesty’s intentions? We mere officials just follow orders. At worst, once we’re back in the north, the grand general will be there to take charge.”

Hearing this, Lin Aoxue remained silent and took a few more sips of wine.

Guo Wencheng was beginning to show signs of drunkenness. He set his wine bowl down with a thud, poured himself another, then suddenly seemed to recall something. A flicker of caution flashed in his eyes as he got up and shut the window.

Turning back, he leaned in slightly and, in a hushed tone, said to Lin Aoxue, “Qianhu Lin, have you heard? Something happened at the Prince of the First Rank’s residence!”

Lin Aoxue froze at his words. Her eyes widened in shock as she pressed, “What do you mean by that, sir?”

Guo Wencheng took another sip of wine before letting out a long sigh. “I warned you before, kid—don’t get too entangled with the Prince of the First Rank’s affairs. The waters in the capital are murky, too deep to wade through lightly!”

Lin Aoxue refilled Guo Wencheng’s cup and nodded in acknowledgment. “Yes, I appreciate your advice.”

After a few more drinks, the alcohol loosened Guo Wencheng’s usually rigid demeanor, and he became more talkative than usual. Swirling the wine in his bowl, he let out a scoff and muttered, “Two days ago, the Prince of the First Rank’s residence was attacked by assassins. The prince himself was wounded. He hasn’t attended court since and has shut his doors to all visitors. No one who goes to his estate is allowed inside. Tsk, tsk…”

Lin Aoxue frowned slightly. Since Guo Wencheng had deliberately brought up this matter, it was likely true rather than a mere rumor. However, with so many skilled individuals in the prince’s residence, how could Beichen He have been easily injured in an assassination attempt? When Guo Wencheng mentioned that Beichen He had shut his doors to all visitors, Lin Aoxue quickly made a deduction—this was probably just a strategic retreat amid the capital’s undercurrents.

With the army about to set off for the northern frontier and Beichen He intending to support the Fifth Prince’s ascension as commander, claiming to be injured at such a time would significantly reduce the emperor’s suspicions of him.

As she was considering this, Guo Wencheng brought up another matter.

“The court has been unsettled lately. I have a feeling that something big is going to happen. Qianhu Lin, once things in the capital settle, we should return to the northern frontier as soon as possible. There may be frequent battles there, but at least people’s hearts are not as complicated. That’s the very reason I defied my parents’ wishes and insisted on going to the frontier in the first place!”

Lin Aoxue nodded in agreement and took the opportunity to probe further. “What exactly has been making the court so restless lately?”

Guo Wencheng, having been promoted after his recent audience with the emperor to report on the border situation, was now allowed to attend court regularly. As a result, he was far more informed about court affairs than Lin Aoxue.

Hearing her question, he saw no reason to be suspicious and answered, “Not long ago, some officials accused the Prince of the First Rank of secretly accepting bribes. And it wasn’t just one or two of them. The emperor, pressured by their outrage, sent an imperial investigator to Fudu to look into the matter. But in the end, no evidence was found. His Majesty was furious and scolded those officials harshly right then and there. The Prince of the First Rank is no ordinary man—his methods are extraordinary…”

Lin Aoxue hadn’t expected the private salt trade case in Fudu to have such developments. If the emperor weren’t a fool, he wouldn’t have sent an investigator so easily. One reason was, of course, the pressure from the officials, but the other was his own personal concerns. Regardless of whether the Prince of the First Rank held real power, he remained a potential threat in the emperor’s eyes.

Therefore, it was not impossible that the emperor occasionally entertained thoughts of suppressing Beichen He. This time, the emperor might have genuinely wanted to weaken Beichen He’s influence, but Beichen He, ever shrewd, had foreseen the situation and chosen to feign injury, retreating from the court’s power struggles at just the right moment.

Lin Aoxue couldn’t help but marvel at the Prince of the First Rank’s cunning—it was far beyond what an ordinary person could match. Take Guo Wencheng, for instance, who was drinking with her at this very moment. Even though he attended court, he remained completely unaware of Beichen He’s true intentions.

Guo Wencheng continued talking about various trivial matters. As expected, after reprimanding the officials, the emperor suppressed the issue, and no one mentioned the Prince of the First Rank again. Beichen He would now have a long period of leisure, staying in his residence, reading, and practicing calligraphy.

By the time Guo Wencheng was thoroughly drunk, Lin Aoxue called for a servant to tidy up the room and carried him to bed before returning to her own room. As she pondered the shifting tides in the capital, she unknowingly drifted off to sleep.