The General Says She Won't Marry - Chapter 30 Part 1

“I am waiting for you.”

Lin Aoxue was rarely this straightforward. Perhaps it was the cold weather—her exposed left cheek, peeking out from beneath her mask, was faintly flushed. A thin mist of moisture gathered in her slightly lowered eyes, and when she gazed at Yun Yan, her misty eyes made Yun Yan’s heart tremble for an instant.

The lanterns hanging outside the shops on either side of the street were dim. Lin Aoxue had been standing there for a long time in the night air; her ears had turned red from the cold, icy to the touch.

The teasing amusement in Yun Yan’s eyes slowly faded. She exhaled a warm breath and, with a trace of guilt, asked, “Have you been waiting long?”

Lin Aoxue shook her head. “No, I just got here a moment ago.” Yun Yan stared into her eyes without saying anything. Lin Aoxue had no choice but to look away, avoiding her gaze. Though her expression remained tense, her voice softened slightly as she corrected herself, “Mm… a little longer than just a moment.”

Yun Yan smiled and didn’t press further. She simply said, “Give me your hand.”

Lin Aoxue blinked, confused, and didn’t move.

“Give me the hand you injured just now.”

Yun Yan was patient. She thought Lin Aoxue was just a stubborn child.

Lin Aoxue hesitated and muttered an unclear sound, her gaze flickering.

Seeing Lin Aoxue pretend not to understand, Yun Yan took a step forward, closing the distance between them until they were almost touching. Lin Aoxue was startled and instinctively stepped back. In the process, she let go of the hand she had been hiding behind her back. Yun Yan seized her right wrist and pulled it forward.

“You! You’re just… I don’t even know what to say to you!”

Yun Yan was slightly angry—she had expected this.

The bandage on Lin Aoxue’s palm was already stained with blood. She had a habit of clenching her fists or twisting her hands together when nervous, paying no attention to how much force she used, reopening the wound without realizing it.

Lin Aoxue still wanted to argue. “It’s not a big deal…”

“Shut up.” Yun Yan shot her a glance. Lin Aoxue fell silent.

Without delay, Yun Yan unwrapped the bloodstained bandage. Under Lin Aoxue’s surprised gaze, she pulled out medicine and fresh bandages from a hidden pocket in her sleeve and began dressing the wound again.

Lin Aoxue was astonished. Once the wound was rebandaged, she turned her right hand over, examining it twice in disbelief. “Why do you even carry these things with you?”

Yun Yan was dressed in a strikingly beautiful red outfit today, with carefully applied makeup—she hardly looked like someone who had gone out to practice medicine. Yun Yan tucked away the used bandage, rolled her eyes at Lin Aoxue, and said, “You’ve got a lot of nerve asking that. I went to return the qin, and when I came out, I heard you had already left. When you were speaking with the princess earlier, you were clutching your hands so tightly they changed shape. You didn’t even notice when you started bleeding. So, I went back to get some medicine. Since you’re in the capital now, I figured you’d probably heard of Yanyu Tower. I guessed you’d come looking for me here, so I came to check. And sure enough, here you are.”

Yun Yan’s words confirmed Lin Aoxue’s suspicions—the Yanyu Tower in the capital and the one in the northern frontier must have some hidden connection.

A hint of embarrassment flickered across Lin Aoxue’s face. She hadn’t expected Yun Yan to notice such a small detail—she hadn’t even realized she had been fidgeting while speaking with Beichen Ling.

Frowning, she wondered: If her reaction had been so obvious, would Beichen He or Beichen Ling have noticed something as well?

A sudden heaviness settled in her heart, but then Yun Yan continued, “His Highness and the commandery princess have noble statuses. You’re new to the prince’s residence—it’s normal to be a little nervous. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Do you hear me?”

Lin Aoxue felt a slight sense of relief. Yun Yan was truly perceptive—though only she herself knew that what she had been worrying about was entirely different from what Yun Yan assumed. To outsiders, she was just a lowly qianhu, facing a Prince of the First Rank and a commandery princess. It would be strange if she wasn’t nervous.

“I hear you,” she answered obediently.

Only then did Yun Yan feel somewhat relieved, though she still found it hard to completely trust Lin Aoxue in this regard. Holding onto Lin Aoxue’s sleeve, she led her away from the street corner, saying as they walked, “Let’s leave here first.”

Though there weren’t many people on the street, there were still too many prying eyes. Given Yun Yan’s special identity, staying too long in public could easily bring trouble to Lin Aoxue.

Lin Aoxue followed Yun Yan through one street after another, not questioning where she was being taken. In her mind, Yun Yan would never harm her.

The two walked in single file through the streets. The night deepened, and shop owners gradually closed their doors—business people, too, had families to return to for the New Year.

After about half an hour of walking, they arrived at a quieter street. A hundred steps further, Yun Yan stopped in front of an inconspicuous little house in the middle of the street.

She opened the door and led Lin Aoxue inside. The courtyard was clean and tidy, not very large, but exquisitely decorated. Inside, the furnishings included many valuable items.

Lin Aoxue took a brief glance around and asked, “Is this where you live in the capital?”

Yun Yan didn’t hide anything. She nodded and replied, “Mm, this house belongs to me.” As she spoke, she suddenly raised an eyebrow and turned to smile at Lin Aoxue. “This is the first time I’ve ever brought someone here.”

Lin Aoxue’s face flushed, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to do with herself. Yet, deep down, a trace of delight quietly bloomed.

Seeing her reaction, Yun Yan pursed her lips in a smile and added, “Sit for a while.”

With that, she turned and lifted the curtain at the back of the house, heading into the rear courtyard, leaving Lin Aoxue alone inside.

Lin Aoxue, feeling restless, found it hard to sit still. She stood up and looked around, her gaze landing on a low table where a finely cracked porcelain vase was placed. The detailed patterns on it were exquisite, clearly an item of great value.

Clicking her tongue in wonder, Lin Aoxue couldn’t help but feel a little self-pity. She never would have guessed—Yun Yan was quite wealthy, far richer than a simple soldier like her. Just how many months’ salary would it take for her to afford a vase like this?

Yun Yan was gone for quite a while. Lin Aoxue wandered the room twice before growing bored and heading back to the front courtyard. She sat down on the stone steps outside the house.

The cold wind brushed against her, yet she didn’t feel the chill. Instead, a comforting warmth settled inside her, more secure than she had felt in years.

She sat there for a while before a voice called from behind in surprise, “Why are you sitting out here?”

Lin Aoxue stood up and pointed at the stone steps. “I just remembered… the last time in Yong’an, that was the first time I ever spoke to you.”

Yun Yan burst into laughter, her eyes shimmering as she looked at her. “You have quite the memory.”

Lin Aoxue smiled as well. How could she possibly forget? Back then, Yun Yan had already seen through her identity, while she had been nervous and uneasy, afraid of being exposed.

Time had flown by, and in the blink of an eye, more than half a year had passed. Without realizing it, they had grown so familiar with each other. Even though they each still kept their own secrets, it didn’t stop them from admiring and drawing closer to one another.

Like this, being able to call Yun Yan a friend, a sister—it was a good thing.

And yet, for some reason, a faint, indescribable bitterness spread quietly in Lin Aoxue’s heart. Perhaps it was because she carried too many secrets, too much hatred. Because she could never be truly honest with Yun Yan… and that was what made her feel sorrowful.

“Come inside, it’s windy out here.”

Seeing Lin Aoxue standing there in a daze, lost in thought, Yun Yan stepped forward, took her by the sleeve, and led her back into the house.

On the table sat two bowls, steam still rising from them.

Lin Aoxue exhaled a deep breath, suppressing the ache in her heart. Taking two steps forward, she glanced into the bowl, her gaze drawn to its contents.

“Dumplings?”

She was too surprised—she hadn’t expected that Yun Yan had gone to cook dumplings. It had been many years since she last had dumplings during the New Year. Seeing them now, she felt a sense of novelty.

“Here, have a taste?” Yun Yan handed Lin Aoxue a pair of chopsticks.

Lin Aoxue took them and sat down at the table. She picked up a steaming hot dumpling and, without even blowing on it, popped it straight into her mouth.

“There weren’t many ingredients in the house, so I could only make them like this. You… what’s wrong?” Yun Yan stopped mid-sentence, suddenly surprised.

Lin Aoxue had just eaten the dumpling, but her eyes instantly reddened. Clear tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and fell into the bowl of soup. She abruptly lowered her head, covering her face, unwilling to let anyone see her moment of overwhelming vulnerability. “Hot,” she uttered just a single word.

The tears in her eyes burned into Yun Yan’s heart like searing iron, scorching her soul. 

She stood up and pulled Lin Aoxue into her embrace, gently stroking her head, soothing her with a deliberately lighthearted tone. “You didn’t even blow on it. If it was too hot, why didn’t you spit it out?” Her own eyes also glistened with unshed tears.

Lin Aoxue didn’t answer. Her throat was tight with emotion, unable to make a sound. The surge of feeling—both pain and gratitude—came too suddenly, too intensely, without warning and impossible to resist.

It was a long time before she finally took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. She rubbed her face against Yun Yan’s chest before looking up again. Her eyes were still misty, like an abandoned little puppy wagging its tail as she whispered, “It’s delicious.”

Seeing her like this, Yun Yan’s lingering sorrow was instantly blown away like a passing breeze. She couldn’t help it—she burst into laughter. Shaking her head as she chuckled, she reached out to pinch Lin Aoxue’s cheek.

“No matter how delicious it is, you don’t have to be so dramatic, silly.”

Lin Aoxue laughed too, even though her eyes still held traces of tears.

She thought back to the time in the military camp before Yun Yan had left, when Beichen Long had put her under house arrest. During those days, her meals had likely all been prepared by Yun Yan.

Now, after several months, Yun Yan’s cooking skills had improved. The dumplings were still as generously stuffed as ever.

Realizing her emotional outburst had been too excessive, Lin Aoxue felt embarrassed. She pulled away from Yun Yan, picked up her chopsticks again, and pretended nothing had happened.

“They really are delicious.”

With that, she buried her head and continued eating, saying no more.

Yun Yan knew she was feeling shy—especially after crying so hard just now—so she didn’t tease her any further. Instead, she simply rested her chin in her hand, watching with amusement as Lin Aoxue devoured the dumplings like a ravenous storm.

By the time Lin Aoxue had eaten most of the dumplings in her bowl, her tension had eased somewhat. Looking up, she noticed Yun Yan’s bowl was still untouched. “You’re not eating?” she asked in confusion.

Yun Yan smiled. “I’m eating now,” she said as she picked up a dumpling and took a small bite.

Lin Aoxue, meanwhile, finished the remaining dumplings in her bowl. But as she bit into the last one, there was a crisp clink. Her expression changed slightly, and after a moment, she pursed her lips and spat out a small copper coin.

“Ah…” she let out a soft exclamation, her eyes reflecting a light as gentle as moonbeams.

Outside, the sudden crackle of fireworks sounded. Both Lin Aoxue and Yun Yan turned their heads toward the window. In the dark night sky, brilliant fireworks exploded in dazzling colors, illuminating the entire capital as if it were broad daylight.

“Aoxue, it’s the New Year,” Yun Yan said softly.

It had also been many years since she had spent New Year’s Eve with someone else. Even back at Yanyu Tower in the northern frontier, on this special night, she had never wanted to share the moment with anyone. In her heart, she had always believed that only the closest of people should accompany each other during such times.

Lin Aoxue turned to look at Yun Yan’s profile. The radiant hues of the fireworks reflected off her face, making her already delicate features appear even more vivid and alive.

A sudden impulse surged in her heart—stronger than ever before. 

“Yes, Yan’er, it’s the New Year,” she murmured. Then, she stood up. As Yun Yan turned to look at her, she smiled and said, “Let’s go outside and watch the fireworks.”

Yun Yan put down her chopsticks. “Alright.”

She had actually already eaten earlier, but she had noticed that Lin Aoxue had only been drinking at the prince’s estate and hadn’t eaten much—she had even been injured later—so she had decided to make dumplings for her.

Now, Lin Aoxue and Yun Yan stepped into the courtyard together, sitting side by side in front of the house. They tilted their heads upward, watching the dazzling bursts of fireworks bloom across the sky, so bright they outshone the stars. From here, the view was even clearer than from inside the house.

“Aoxue, why did you come to the capital?”

Even now, Yun Yan still felt as though she were in a dream. When Lin Aoxue had appeared at the estate, she had thought for a moment that her eyes were playing tricks on her.

But that half-mask on Lin Aoxue’s face had been unmistakable. Her cold, serious expression and indifferent voice had been so familiar that Yun Yan had finally been certain—the person who had stepped forward to save Beichen He had indeed been Lin Aoxue.

She was truly curious—why had Lin Aoxue come to the capital, and why had she appeared at the Prince of the First Rank’s residence?

Lin Aoxue did not hide anything. She briefly explained that the emperor had issued an imperial decree summoning high-ranking military officers from the northern frontier to report to the capital. She had been chosen by Beichen Long to accompany the delegation, so she had traveled here with General Guo.

After she finished speaking, she turned her head to look at Yun Yan, her eyes filled with confusion.

Before Lin Aoxue could even ask, Yun Yan took the initiative to speak. “You must be wondering about Yanyu Tower in the capital.”

Though Yun Yan wore a smile, there was a trace of loneliness hidden in her eyes. She said, “Everyone has their own burdens they cannot escape. Just like you had to join the military to avenge your family, I had no choice but to remain in Yanyu Tower. We each have something we must devote ourselves to completely.”

Whether passively drawn in or actively stepping forward, whether sinking into a swamp or wading through murky waters—once touched, escape becomes impossible. People are born into different circumstances, and birth alone limits the futures of many. She was one of them.

She wanted to use her own efforts to earn more freedom, to move closer without becoming a burden to Lin Aoxue. These thoughts, she kept buried deep in her heart.

If one day Lin Aoxue were to uncover the secrets she had hidden away—were to see the other side of her, ugly beyond measure—and then chose to leave, she would not wallow in self-pity. Until she had a perfect solution, she was willing to play the role of a friend, offering Lin Aoxue a life free of worries.

Hearing Yun Yan’s words, Lin Aoxue did not press further. She looked at Yun Yan seriously and said in a quiet voice, “No matter what happens, as long as you ask, I will help you.”

Yun Yan smiled and responded softly, “Alright.” Then, after a brief pause, she added, “I’d like to borrow your shoulder.”

Lin Aoxue had no reason to refuse. Yun Yan tilted her head and leaned against Lin Aoxue’s shoulder, her eyes slightly closed, exhaustion evident in her expression. Perhaps it was the reassuring scent of Lin Aoxue that soothed her, because before long, she had fallen asleep.

The sound of fireworks gradually faded. Lin Aoxue, hearing nothing from Yun Yan for a long time, only the soft and steady rhythm of her breathing, turned her head and saw that Yun Yan was already asleep. Her own tense emotions slowly relaxed, letting Yun Yan rest against her.

Until the night air grew heavier with dampness, and she realized that Yun Yan might catch cold sleeping like this. Carefully, she lifted Yun Yan into her arms, making sure not to wake her, and walked with quiet steps back to the house. She laid Yun Yan down on the bed, covered her with a blanket, and only then quietly left.

The moment Lin Aoxue left, Yun Yan opened her eyes. She watched in the dim moonlight as Lin Aoxue gently pulled the door shut, her gaze lingering on the slowly closing door—soft and tender.

***

After leaving the inner room, Lin Aoxue departed from Yun Yan’s residence. Though both of them knew there was nothing improper between them, Lin Aoxue presented herself to the outside world as a man. In her mind, she ought to be mindful of Yun Yan’s reputation.

By the time she returned to the inn, it was already late into the night. She lay down for a short rest, but as dawn approached, she awoke. Today was the first day of the new year, and the streets would surely be bustling. Lin Aoxue rose early, went to the market to buy two baskets of steamed buns, and made her way to Yun Yan’s small residence.

Yun Yan was also up early. In truth, she hadn’t slept much after Lin Aoxue left. The night had felt too cold, and being alone had made her uneasy, so she had been unable to fall back asleep.

When Lin Aoxue arrived, she was carrying two paper bags filled with hot buns. She gestured for Yun Yan to eat with her—otherwise, the buns would soon go cold.

Yun Yan smiled, as if just seeing Lin Aoxue was enough to chase away the shadows in her heart.

This person was like sunlight—no matter how small the gap, warmth and light would always find a way through.

After breakfast, Lin Aoxue and Yun Yan left the house together, planning to stroll through the marketplace. Today, Yun Yan wore a simple, ordinary dress, and Lin Aoxue was also not dressed in her military uniform. Blending into the crowd, they became much less conspicuous.

Lin Aoxue had no particular plans—she was simply waiting for the new year celebrations to end and for the Third Prince to decide when to depart. Once that was settled, she would accompany Guo Wencheng on the journey. As for Yun Yan, she had nothing pressing to attend to these days. Yanyu Tower did not close for the new year, but her status was special, so a few days’ absence did not matter.

The marketplace was indeed bustling, with people coming and going in endless streams. They had chosen to visit the western market, which catered to the lower classes. Unlike the grand avenues of the capital, this place had a more vibrant festive atmosphere.

Passing by a small stall, Yun Yan noticed some beautifully woven knot bracelets and bought two. She lifted Lin Aoxue’s arm and tied one of them—a brown string with a small green stone pendant—around her wrist.