Sweet Oxygen - Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – Figure Out

She liked Zhang Yuqing

——

In the night, only the “woo woo” sound of Beibei craving barbecue could be heard. Somewhere, someone had closed their shop and was playing mahjong, the clattering of tiles mingling with the chirping of cicadas. There was probably a river nearby, as occasional croaks of frogs could be heard.

Even though they were still in the imperial capital, it felt as if they were hundreds of kilometers away from home. Everything felt fresh and vivid.

“Qin Han, that handsome guy who helped us just now—”

Qin Han was immersed in the unique night atmosphere of Yaonan Alley when she suddenly heard Li Nan’s question.

When she heard the first half of the sentence, Qin Han thought Li Nan was going to ask if Zhang Yuqing was her friend. Instinctively, she was about to answer “yes.”

She took a light breath, her lips even slightly pursing, and the “ye” sound almost escaped from between her teeth.

“—is he your boyfriend?”

Hearing the second half of Li Nan’s question, Qin Han bit the tip of her tongue abruptly, stopping herself from speaking. She then hurriedly lifted her gaze to look at Zhang Yuqing.

Zhang Yuqing was sitting across from Qin Han, with a window to his left. He was gazing outside, lost in thought, seemingly unaware of their conversation.

Qin Han let out a breath of relief and whispered nervously, “No, he isn’t.”

After saying it, she felt an inexplicable sense of regret.

Her ears started to burn again, as if someone had ignited a fire beside them. With the evening breeze, the flames flared up.

On the table was a glass of iced water that Zhang Yuqing had poured for them. She picked up the glass and drank more than half of it in one go.

So much had happened today that Qin Han hadn’t had time to think carefully. Now that everything had quieted down, she finally began to reflect.

When she told Luo Shijin and Zhang Yuqing about that “brother,” she hadn’t described him in as much detail as she did back when she told Hu Keyuan.

Back then, when she talked to Hu Keyuan, it was with the mindset of sharing between best friends. But when she told Luo Shijin and Zhang Yuqing, it felt like she was trying to convince both them and herself—

See? I don’t have feelings for Zhang Yuqing.

She just…

Just what?

The family playing mahjong had reached an exciting moment. Someone slammed a tile on the table with a loud “clang” and laughed cheerfully, “Hu!”

Then came the soft sound of shuffling tiles, dispersing into the night air.

Someone handed her a skewer of lamb. Qin Han took it instinctively, still lost in thought—

Just what?

She hadn’t mentioned the exact location where she met that “brother.” She hadn’t mentioned that the small flags in the park could reveal which university he attended. She hadn’t even mentioned that the group’s activity uniforms were white.

Yet, the reason she had first noticed him was that those boys in white sportswear stood out brilliantly in the sunlight.

When she told Hu Keyuan, she had described everything in vivid detail.

But today, she hadn’t. Why hadn’t she?

The flavor of cumin and juicy lamb exploded in her mouth, but Qin Han remained frozen in thought—

When she was talking about the “brother,” the image in her mind had always been Zhang Yuqing.

What did that mean?

The answer seemed obvious.

Qin Han was still dazed when she suddenly heard Zhang Yuqing’s reprimand, “Beibei! Put that down!”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it startled Qin Han nonetheless.

She looked over and saw that Zhang Yuqing had lifted Beibei off the ground, holding him at eye level.

His jaw was covered with a band-aid, forcefully applied by Luo Shijin after an earlier scrape. It gave him a slightly roguish look—like the rebellious and obsessive male lead in a novel.

But his eyes held a smile, and his voice was gentle: “Rummaging through a girl’s bag? Young man, that’s not very gentlemanly.”

Only then did Qin Han realize that her backpack had been opened by Beibei. A book borrowed from the library had slipped halfway out, along with a stack of sticky notes covered in handwritten notes.

Her backpack was by Luo Shijin’s feet. Luo Shijin picked up the book and notes while asking, “Snowy chicken feet? Is that good?”

“Huh?” Qin Han blinked in confusion.

The sticky notes were where she wrote down beautiful phrases from books. She couldn’t recite them all from memory, but she had an impression of what she wrote.

But—chicken feet?

She definitely wouldn’t have written the name of a snack on there.

Li Nan, visiting Zhang Yuqing’s shop for the first time, was a bit reserved but still cast a curious glance at Qin Han.

Qin Han reached out her hand. “Let me see.”

Before the sticky note landed in Qin Han’s palm, Zhang Yuqing suddenly spoke up: “‘Snowy footprints of a swan.’”

He was still looking at Beibei, but Qin Han suddenly remembered—she had indeed written down that phrase before.

Not chicken feet, but snowy footprints of a swan.

She had thought it was a beautiful phrase at the time and had noted it down, but since it wasn’t commonly used, she had momentarily forgotten.

But how did Zhang Yuqing know everything?

Luo Shijin looked utterly confused. “What the heck is snowy footprints of a swan? What does it mean?”

“It refers to the footprints left by a swan on the snow—it symbolizes that things leave traces after they pass.”

Luo Shijin tossed the book back to Qin Han, grumbling, “What kind of nonsense… I don’t get it. Whatever, let’s drink and eat. If the skewers get cold, I’ll have to take them back to get reheated.”

Qin Han was completely distracted throughout the meal, barely speaking.

Li Nan, sitting beside her, was even quieter, unfamiliar with the environment.

She knew she should say something—something to make Li Nan feel more included, something to help him integrate into the conversation.

But her mind was blank. She had a vague feeling that she was on the verge of a realization, but she couldn’t quite grasp it.

It was like solving a geometry problem—knowing that the key auxiliary line was right there, yet unable to see it, which was frustrating.

She slowly finished a skewer of lamb in a daze, then absentmindedly picked up a grilled tendon skewer nearby, listening to the others chat.

Zhang Yuqing didn’t let Li Nan remain uneasy for long. Casually, as if in passing, he brought up a question about him: “If I may ask, why do you like wearing women’s clothing? Is it a way to relieve stress, or something else?”

“Because…”

Li Nan hesitated for a moment but, seeing that Zhang Yuqing’s gaze held no judgment, he relaxed a little. “I just like it. When I was little, I used to watch my mom do her makeup, and I thought it was such a beautiful thing. I also thought women’s clothing was very pretty.”

When he was younger, his mother would sometimes put red lipstick on him and show him off to the family.

Everyone would laugh when they saw him.

But in middle school, when he secretly put on lipstick and makeup himself, his mother slapped him.

The thing he loved had to be hidden, something he couldn’t even tell his parents.

“It’s a rather unique interest, and society as a whole isn’t very accepting of it.”

Zhang Yuqing picked up a can of beer, swirling it gently. The liquid sloshed softly against the metal, the crisp sound blending into the night.

“Sticking to a passion like this means you’ll inevitably face more criticism and pressure than most. You need to think it through. When it comes to dating, some girls might not like it. Some might even worry you’d be a bad influence on children. There will be a lot of obstacles ahead.”

Li Nan nodded heavily. “I know. I’ve already picked a university, but I don’t know if my grades are good enough. I want to study fashion design.”

“A fashion design academy?”

“No, no,” Li Nan scratched his head, a little embarrassed. “My grades aren’t that good. I won’t make it into a top-tier school—probably a third-tier one.”

“So,” Zhang Yuqing extended his beer can and clinked it lightly against the glass of iced water in front of Li Nan, “the road ahead is long and difficult, little brother. Good luck.”

No one had ever talked to Li Nan this much about his passion—especially without a trace of prejudice.

His eyes turned red. He nodded. “Thank you, Qing-ge.”

The night was hot. The old electric fan had been moved to the table by the window by Luo Shijin.

Probably worried that a direct breeze would cool the barbecue too quickly, the fan oscillated at 180 degrees, occasionally making a creaking, stuttering noise.

The breeze only occasionally brushed past Qin Han’s cheek, not enough to dispel the summer heat. Even with iced water, she was still sticky with sweat.

The cushions Zhang Yuqing had found were covered with woven bamboo mats. She could already feel the imprint of the bamboo pattern on her legs, but sitting in his shop still felt far more comfortable than lying at home with the AC on, eating ice cream.

Luo Shijin was also suffering from the heat. He had somehow found a large palm fan and was vigorously fanning himself. “Qing-ge, is this fan about to retire? It’s not cooling anything down.”

“I just hope it lasts through the summer,” Zhang Yuqing said with a laugh.

Qin Han looked at Zhang Yuqing and could tell that he wasn’t well-off. But none of it seemed to bother him in the slightest.

Just moments ago, when he was talking to Li Nan, there was a certain air about him—like he had “already seen the vast world, yet still cherishing the greenery of grass and trees.”

Qin Han had barely taken a bite of the tendon skewer and was still holding it when Zhang Yuqing glanced at her and pushed a plate of chicken wings toward her. “Tendon skewers don’t taste good when they’re cold. Have some chicken wings instead.”

The soft glow of the lights reflected in his eyes. And suddenly, Qin Han understood.

The one she had been thinking about all this time, the one she had clung to in her memories, wasn’t the little brother from years ago.

It was Zhang Yuqing.

She liked Zhang Yuqing.