Surprise! The Straight Man Long Aotian Actually Steals the Villain's Skirt - Chapter 20: The Southern Border Saint Obsessed with Gu Poison 20

Chapter 20: The Southern Border Saint Obsessed with Gu Poison 20

Xie Rong was awakened by the system’s alarm.

[Warning! The main plot has severely derailed! The host must immediately take corrective measures!]

He struggled to open his eyes a slit, catching sight of Lu Yi sitting beside him, head bowed as he wrote something. Groggily, he mumbled, System, what is he doing?

The white Slime, seeing him finally awake, burst into hysterical tears: [The protagonist is writing a resignation letter! Not only is he quitting his official post, but he also kidnapped you on the way to the palace banquet and plans to wander the world with you!]

[Host, he’s gone mad!]

Xie Rong slowly sat up.

The slight movement immediately made the man turn his head. Awake?

Lu Yi’s voice was hoarse, a fresh wound visible on his shoulder as his dark eyes gazed deeply at him.

Having already kidnapped a heinous criminal like me, who are you putting on this act of writing a resignation letter for? Xie Rong yawned, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes. You’re utterly hypocritical.

Mm, Lu Yi turned back to continue writing, murmuring softly, We should still follow proper procedures to avoid giving people excuses to gossip.

Xie Rong laughed at his contradictory words, clutching his stomach until tears streamed down his face. But as he laughed, he suddenly remembered that Lu Yi had never been implanted with the Love Gu. His cheerful expression instantly darkened, and he stopped laughing.

[Ho-host, should we still salvage this plot?] the system stammered.

What kind of system are we?

[A villain system.]

Good. Don’t mention ‘salvage’ again from now on, lest you disgrace the dignity of being a villain system. Remember that? Xie Rong said gently.

Matters related to salvage were the protagonist’s responsibility.

As for him, he only needed to commit evil deeds to the very end.

Xie Rong leaned close to Lu Yi’s side and snatched the letter from him.

After reading it, he declared, Didn’t you want my attention? Let me help you write a new resignation letter to deliver to that old hag. How about that?

Lu Yi paused, then handed him a fresh sheet of paper. Alright.

Xie Rong took the brush and wrote:

Old hag, I’ve gladly accepted your Hawk and Hound. He asked me to relay a message: henceforth he is my Hawk and Hound. Don’t even think about rescuing me – he’d even stage a rebellion if I asked. Be sensible and let us go peacefully. Otherwise, he’ll personally come for your wretched old head.

After finishing, Xie Rong drew a large mocking face at the end of the letter.

He curled his lips into a smirk.

When the Empress Dowager received this letter, she would surely despise Lu Yi to the bone!

But thinking of the Snake Gu that had been carried off by hawks, Xie Rong’s expression turned cold again.

Merely angering that woman wasn’t nearly enough.

[Host, you’re doing evil again!] The white Slime nudged closer. [With the plot in chaos, if you keep causing trouble, I can’t guarantee the main system won’t notice.]

A cruel glint flashed in Xie Rong’s eyes as he quietly folded the letter, sealed it in an envelope, and secured it with beeswax.

Make sure this reaches the Empress Dowager’s hands, or I’ll be very displeased.

Understood, Lu Yi stored the letter safely, his burning gaze fixed on Xie Rong. We still have a night’s journey ahead. Get some more sleep – I’ll keep watch.

Xie Rong, whose drowsiness hadn’t fully lifted, immediately lay down and fell asleep.

Lu Yi watched him in silence.

He knew full well that the person before him possessed not an ounce of compassion, was obsessed with Gu cultivation, and would commit any evil deed for it – where human life meant less to him than an Insect Egg.

Malicious, arrogant, with a terrible temper that manifested in slapping people at the slightest provocation, always posturing and delighting in mischief.

Such a wicked person truly belonged in the Imperial Prison, where he could be properly disciplined.

Yet at this moment, Lu Yi knew exactly what he was doing.

He had rescued this very wicked wildcat and abandoned everything to wander the world with it.

Perhaps by tomorrow morning, wanted notices for him and Xie Rong would be plastered all over Great Liang.

In his twenty years of life, Lu Yi had never once violated Great Liang’s laws, nor had he ever done anything that troubled his conscience.

Tonight was the first time – covering his face with a cloth, using sedative powder to knock out the guards transporting the iron cage, using brute force to break open the cage with his blade, and stealing away with the unconscious bad cat held in his arms.

When leaving the palace gates, the imperial guards wondered why he, who had taken leave, appeared in the palace again, wearing a cloak and carrying someone.

Lu Yi had no choice but to say he had caught a chill, and what he carried in his arms was the ‘chill remedy’ bestowed upon him by the Empress Dowager.

Fortunately, his usual upright and stubborn nature meant none of the imperial guards and colleagues he encountered along the way doubted his fabricated reason, even joking that now that he had been promoted, he should show mercy in future dealings.

Lu Yi’s hands trembled as he held Xie Rong, but he maintained a calm expression and swiftly carried the person out of the palace.

Xie Rong was wicked, but they had already done what only married couples do. He loved Xie Rong, and their crimes should be bound together.

The Empress Dowager, for her own selfish desires, disregarded the lives of everyone in Rosy Valley, sending people to forcibly break into the valley to capture Xie Rong – how could she be a good person?

Now that everyone in the valley had regained their freedom and faced no life-threatening danger, why should Xie Rong still be captured by that woman, the Empress Dowager, to be humiliated before thousands at the palace banquet?

The mere thought of that scene was enough to burn away all reason with the fury in Lu Yi’s heart.

As a true man, what he did today was something he could face even his ancestors in the underworld without shame, should he die tomorrow.

Lu Yi held his breath and slowly lowered his head, his lips nearly touching Xie Rong’s forehead, when suddenly the carriage curtain was pulled open from outside.

Lu— Jin Jiuzhou, disguised as a coachman with a straw hat, lifted the curtain and immediately said angrily, Were you trying to kiss him?

Lu Yi replied woodenly, No.

Jin Jiuzhou’s eyes reddened with anger as he viciously whipped the horse. If not for him, I wouldn’t be helping you.

In terms of looks and family background, where do I fall short compared to you? Jin Jiuzhou’s voice gradually softened. It’s just that I met him later than you did.

The Empress Dowager won’t let you off easily, but if you submit your resignation letter, countless people in the capital will focus on the newly vacant commander position. She’ll be too busy to pursue a useless pawn and a relatively unimportant prisoner, at most just angered by the affront to her dignity as Empress Dowager.

I know, Lu Yi glanced at the sleeping figure. He was afraid my wording would be too rigid and inflexible, so he rewrote one for me.

Oh, Jin Jiuzhou said expressionlessly, Congratulations then.

The carriage traveled for a full day and night, finally stopping before a rather remote village as the last rays of sunset lingered.

Lu Yi carried the person out of the carriage.

This is as far as I can take you, Jin Jiuzhou turned his face away, leaning against the carriage frame. When he wakes up, don’t forget to tell him I contributed half the effort.

Jin Jiuzhou even felt somewhat envious of Lu Yi, who could decisively abandon everything. The Jin family’s roots ran too deep – he couldn’t leave.
The hatred he felt when first captured and brought into the valley, when that person bullied him so viciously, was real. But the budding affection that came later was equally real.

Xie Rong committed countless vicious deeds, and every person he captured in the valley had genuinely hated him.

Yet he was so young—merely eighteen years old. At sixteen, he had fled alone from the Southern Border to the Central Plains. His dwelling housed nothing but snakes and venomous insects, with no elders to teach him about love, right and wrong, or moral integrity.

When he did evil, he would only gloat, believing himself a local tyrant whom everyone must obey. Yet over two years, not a single person died by his hand.

He should not be confined in the cold Imperial Prison. He ought to learn what is wrong, what is right, and what love truly means.