Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 76

Chapter 76: Every Straw Breaks the Camel’s Back

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Adults often break down suddenly, perhaps due to small things.

But what breaks the camel isn’t the last straw, it’s every single straw, just like how people don’t become depressed suddenly, but rather through accumulated grief.

From the moment Xia Ruoming broke up with Xu Fengwu, her negative emotions had been piling up in her heart.

Perhaps Xu Fengwu normally disguised herself very well, able to act as usual, but those troubling matters existed objectively and wouldn’t disappear just because she avoided them. They just quietly hid in some corner, waiting for the day to strike her all at once.

That’s also why Xu Fengwu suddenly became so easily vulnerable.

Whether it was glimpsing Xiao Qinghan kissing Xia Ruoming at the Crowne Plaza hotel, or when entering the hotel and hearing many classmates praise how well-matched Chu Suhe and Xia Ruoming were, from the moment Xia Ruoming left her, various complicated thoughts had completely occupied her mind. Even the slightest movement could cause significant changes in her emotions.

In the past, Xu Fengwu had been well-protected, she didn’t even know what this feeling was, nor did she understand why Xia Ruoming suddenly didn’t want her anymore.

Now she understands that Xia Ruoming’s disappointment in her had accumulated day by day, not because of any single incident. Even if she had luckily managed to salvage that one incident that made Xia Ruoming break down, Xia Ruoming’s disappointment would have exploded someday anyway. Only when someone truly stops loving, when they’re truly too disappointed, do things become like this.

It felt like falling into a void, countless darkness about to engulf her, nothing around her at all, and even if she screamed with all her might, no one would reach out to help her.

Xu Fengwu never understood what all those girls pursuing Xia Ruoming were thinking, and she never tried to understand. She just felt proud that a girl admired by so many was pursuing her.

Having forgotten her keys at home again, walking in the cold rain, she finally understood that no matter what happened, the first person she thought of was always Xia Ruoming, who stood in front of her, that girl who never wanted her to suffer even the slightest grievance.

Only after losing everything did she understand just how much Xia Ruoming had liked her, and how much she herself now liked Xia Ruoming.

Can’t people look back? Actually, they can. Many people have looked back, but the real question is whether people can retrace their steps.

……

……

“Ruoming…” Xu Fengwu, after taking her medicine, weakly spoke up, as if wanting to say something.

“Hmm?” Xia Ruoming just focused on reading the files on her phone, not even looking up at Xu Fengwu.

“Ruoming… I…” As Xu Fengwu spoke, tears began to fall. Earlier, her relationship with Ruoming seemed to have improved somewhat, but now it had become like this again. She used to like her so much, was that former Xia Ruoming really never coming back?

“Ah.” Sighing, Xia Ruoming put down her phone and helplessly stood up, sitting down beside Xu Fengwu.

Having lived two lives, Xia Ruoming was as impenetrable as iron walls against all poisons, but the one thing she couldn’t bear to see was girls crying. No matter when or why, whenever she saw a girl cry, she would feel guilty.

Even if it was acting, she couldn’t ignore it, let alone when the girl before her was her first love. All along, she had just thought she had moved on.

“Alright, alright, I’m listening to you, please don’t cry, okay?” Xia Ruoming reached out to wipe the tears from the corners of Xu Fengwu’s eyes, speaking softly to her.

But this gesture made Xu Fengwu’s tears burst forth completely, and she fell onto Xia Ruoming’s body, crying hard. In her previous life, Xia Ruoming had never seen Xu Fengwu like this, and she could only make a bitter face as she watched her newly changed clothes get soaked with Xu Fengwu’s tears.

After crying on Xia Ruoming’s shoulder for a long time, Xu Fengwu finally calmed her emotions.

“Okay, stop crying, or I’ll throw you out. People might think I’m abusing you in here.” Xia Ruoming spoke after hearing Xu Fengwu’s sobs gradually calm down.

After speaking, Xia Ruoming sat Xu Fengwu down in the chair, went to her room to get a hair dryer, and handed it to Xu Fengwu.

“Dry your hair first, you’re already having a fever and still acting like this, be careful not to make your condition worse.”

“Oh…” Xu Fengwu timidly took the hair dryer, looking quite similar to how Chu Suhe used to be.

“Ruo…Ruoming, I don’t have the strength, could you help me dry it?”

Being sick, Xu Fengwu’s voice was naturally weak, and at this moment, combined with that coquettish tone, she was utterly charming to the bone.

“…If you keep talking like that, I’ll throw you out the front door and let you spend the night outside.” Xia Ruoming was completely speechless. Xu Fengwu had come twice, and each time she seemed like a different person.

She had almost moved her heart, but fortunately, she hadn’t.

Despite her words, Xia Ruoming still picked up the hair dryer. She would do everything to perfection, so she used a comb to carefully brush Xu Fengwu’s hair while drying it, not missing any spot.

Feeling the perfectly warm air and seeing how carefully Xia Ruoming was drying her hair, the gloom on Xu Fengwu’s face seemed to completely disappear, and her eyes gained a hint of joy.

“Xia Ruoming, you still care about me, don’t you?” Xu Fengwu thought to herself.

After drying her hair, Xia Ruoming directly brought a blanket and threw it onto Liu Ruoxue’s bed, then carried Xu Fengwu princess-style to Liu Ruoxue’s bedroom.

“My mom won’t be coming home recently, so you can sleep in her bed. While you’re at my house, just focus on getting better, don’t cause me trouble.” Xia Ruoming said expressionlessly.

“Why do we have to sleep separately? I’m scared to be alone at night… Ruoming…” Xu Fengwu said, then tugged at Xia Ruoming’s clothes.

Xia Ruoming didn’t respond to Xu Fengwu anymore and instead walked back to the living room by herself.

Why not sleep together? Because Xia Ruoming herself was scared too. Last time, just sleeping together for one night had almost shaken her resolve. She didn’t know why, but those feelings for her white moonlight from her previous life mysteriously reappeared. Xia Ruoming was truly afraid, afraid of her feelings rekindling, of repeating the mistakes of her previous life.

Although Xu Fengwu had a fever, she didn’t feel weak in her limbs. Alone in the room, Xu Fengwu got out of bed and went to Xia Ruoming’s bedroom.

She took out the sketchbook that was previously filled with countless portraits of her drawn by Xia Ruoming.

Xia Ruoming hadn’t left anything else on the page with “May there be years worth looking back on, and share deep feelings until white hair.” Instead, there were two more pages added to the back of the sketchbook.

One page showed Chu Suhe from that camping day, sitting on a bench made from a whole log, wearing wild flowers that Xia Ruoming had picked, smiling happily.

One page showed Xiao Qinghan walking arm in arm with Xia Ruoming while shopping, exchanging drinks with her.

That sketchbook, which was originally used by the girl to record her, now bore the marks of others.

As the proudest phoenix, she never thought she would be jealous of anyone, even when she saw Xia Ruoming buying flowers for Xiao Qinghan that day, it was just a momentary impulse.

But now, she truly and deeply felt what the emotion called jealousy really was.