Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 41

Chapter 41: white moonlight, Cinnabar Mole

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“Ah, Xia Ruoming is so outstanding, why won’t she notice me? I’m really no worse than Xu Fengwu,” a female student whispered to her friend beside her.

“Go away, if Ruoming were to have a girlfriend, it would have to be me. Go cool off somewhere else,” her friend looked at her with feigned disdain and made a shoving motion.

People around them rolled their eyes.

When Xia Ruoming was still like an ordinary girl, her whole world revolved around Xu Fengwu. Now that she has transcended the mundane, even Xu Fengwu doesn’t matter to her anymore. Perhaps only celestial beings could catch her eye now.

“Haven’t you read Eileen Chang’s novels? Someone you can yearn for but never reach, someone who stays in your heart but can’t be by your side, that’s a white moonlight. Xu Fengwu is her white moonlight, but she is my white moonlight too.”

“Tsk tsk, then Ruoming is my cinnabar mole. I might never forget her for my entire life.”

“Why did I have to meet such an amazing person in high school? If it weren’t for wanting to get into a good university, I would have spent three years pursuing her,” a chestnut-haired girl said wistfully, resting her chin on her hand.

A dragon trapped in the sea, a phoenix bound to return to heaven.

Perhaps this was everyone’s impression of Xia Ruoming during this time. After leaving Xu Fengwu, she had completely transformed.

A girl sitting in another corner listened to other students’ discussion, closed her eyes and clenched her fists, as if encouraging herself.

Xu Fengwu heard others’ words and wanted to laugh. She was Xia Ruoming’s white moonlight, Chu Suhe was the person Xia Ruoming liked, Xiao Qinghan had even kissed Xia Ruoming, you all don’t even have a ticket to enter the competition, what right do you have to compete? Your white moonlight might be Xia Ruoming, but you’re not Xia Ruoming’s white moonlight.

“Alright, alright, quiet down. Let’s continue with class. Whatever you want to say, say it to whoever you want after class. Xia Ruoming, you too, pay attention and don’t get distracted.” Xiao Qinghan finished speaking and walked back to the podium, continuing to explain the next problems.

Unlike the disinterested Xia Ruoming, Xu Fengwu listened very carefully to every question. After learning how good Xia Ruoming’s English had become, she felt an even stronger sense of crisis.

Xu Fengwu was really afraid of not being able to attend the same university as Xia Ruoming.

…

After class.

The girl who had been giving herself encouragement earlier had now walked to Xia Ruoming’s desk.

“Is there something you need, classmate?” Xia Ruoming asked, seeing the girl standing silently in front of her with no intention of leaving.

The girl seemed to clench her fist again and took a deep breath.

“Senior Xia… I like you!”

After Bai Qianyu, she was the second girl to gather her courage and confess to Xia Ruoming.

Even if she would be rejected mercilessly, even if she would be hurt badly, if she didn’t try, there would be no chance at all, she would only be left with endless longing.

“I’m sorry…” Xia Ruoming was about to refuse, but was interrupted by the girl.

“Senior Xia! Perhaps you don’t remember me anymore! We used to live in the same community in elementary school, we played together a lot. In middle school, we went to the same school, but after you moved to Chengdu International Community, we never saw each other after school anymore.”

People nearby noticed there was drama unfolding and all perked up their ears to eavesdrop. Even Xiao Qinghan stopped in her tracks to watch.

“Perhaps you’ve forgotten, but when we were young, you always played with me, blew bubbles together. When I fell and got covered in mud, you helped clean me up. When I got scratches, you helped bandage them.”

“I’ve always liked you. I don’t know when it started, but I fell in love with you at first sight, and your image has always stayed in my heart.”

“Actually, I know everything. You didn’t just chase after Xu Fengwu for 3 years, but 5 years! I witnessed the story that day, the day when Senior Xia confessed to Xu Fengwu in middle school, I was right there.”

“That day, I was actually preparing to confess to Senior Xia. I had gathered my courage after preparing for so long…”

“When I found out you liked Xu Fengwu, that stinging pain came from somewhere unknown, hurting so much I wanted to cry endlessly.”

“That afternoon, I witnessed you confessing to Xu Fengwu.”

“When I learned that you were rejected by Xu Fengwu, I felt both happy and sad. How could someone as wonderful as Senior Xia be rejected? But on the other hand, I was happy that I might have another chance.”

“But I wasn’t as brave as you, Senior. When I learned that you liked Xu Fengwu, I already started to back away. I couldn’t express my feelings, and you never gave up on Xu Fengwu. I could only follow behind you, silently supporting your love. If you could be happy, I would be content.”

“For you, Senior, I went to great lengths to find out from the homeroom teacher that you had applied to this high school. I came here following you.”

As she spoke, the girl started crying, tears falling continuously onto the floor.

“When you were 9, you saw a beautiful female basketball player, and after that you said you wanted to play basketball too, but because of Senior Xu Fengwu, you had to give up your basketball dream. When you were 12, you came to my house for my birthday party. I had no friends then, but you brought a gift and wished me happy birthday. That year when I was 12, I injured my leg, and you carried me on your back step by step…”

“Luo… Qingxuan?” Countless memories surfaced in Xia Ruoming’s mind, the figure from her youth gradually overlapping with the person before her.

Long ago, she thought they had lost touch after moving.

They weren’t in the same class in middle school, and she didn’t know Luo Qingxuan was at the same middle school. Plus, Luo Qingxuan’s hair half-covering her eyes looked very different from when she was young, so Xia Ruoming had never recognized her.

Seeing that Xia Ruoming remembered her, a slight smile finally appeared on Luo Qingxuan’s face, but tears were still flowing uncontrollably.

“When I came to this high school and was fortunate enough to be in the same class as you, Senior, seeing the senior I’ve always liked again, I was really happy…”

“In my heart, I’ve always had so many beautiful memories with you, Senior.”

“I can’t wait anymore. You’re too outstanding, Senior, and I don’t know if I can get into the same university as you. As your junior who has secretly loved you for so long, I want to say what I’ve never been able to say…”

Luo Qingxuan directly hugged Xia Ruoming, resting her head on her shoulder.

“I’ve wanted to hug you for 6 years, Senior…” Luo Qingxuan said while crying, her voice breaking, “But 6 years have passed, and I’m no longer a young girl. I’ve inevitably become an adult, losing the right to act spoiled around you like I did when we were young.”

“I have… inevitably become an adult, yet I still don’t have the courage to hold you tight.”