Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: She Simply Let Go of the Past

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“I…” Xu Fengwu suddenly remembered what Li Jing had taught her, and her face turned pale.

Xu Yihan pressed her temples directly, knowing what had happened without asking. It was hard to imagine what words her daughter had said at the time that could cause such a big change in this sunny girl.

“I didn’t mean to…” After recalling what happened that day, Xu Fengwu suddenly broke down crying, tears continuously rolling down her face. “I don’t hate her that much, I just didn’t want to date too early. Those words that day weren’t intentional…”

“Xiao Feng, can you tell mom what you said when you rejected her?”

Xu Fengwu nodded, crying as she spoke intermittently about what she said when rejecting Xia Ruoming. The more Xu Yihan listened, the worse her expression became. These words would make even a complete stranger lose hope, let alone a girl who had protected you for 5 years.

Even without being present, she knew the condescending tone Xu Fengwu must have used to say those words. Being from a single-parent family, Xu Yihan had protected Xu Fengwu very well, and with Xia Ruoming always keeping Xu Fengwu protected in her comfort zone, it directly fostered a somewhat princess-like personality in Xu Fengwu, who never learned how to interact properly with others.

In her daughter’s story, she heard a version even worse than she had imagined. Before the confession, everyone knew that Xia Ruoming liked Xu Fengwu, always revolving around her. Perhaps her daughter accidentally let it slip while chatting with her friends, and somehow the whole school seemed to know about Xia Ruoming’s failed confession, even the teachers knew.

“Mom, I really didn’t mean to, I was too rushed at that time, so I…” Xu Fengwu said, seeing Xu Yihan’s grave expression.

“Xiao Feng, whether you meant it or not doesn’t matter anymore.” Xu Yihan looked at her daughter before her, feeling particularly guilty. Xu Fengwu becoming what she is now, she bore a large part of the responsibility. “Those words you said would break the heart of even a complete stranger who had nothing to do with you, let alone Xia Ruoming who had pursued you for so long. You said it yourself, Xia Ruoming waited 3 years to gather the courage to confess to you. Even if you don’t like her, you shouldn’t have spoken to her that way.”

Xu Fengwu lowered her head and said nothing more.

“So what happened after the confession? She hadn’t started treating you this way yet at that time, right?” Xu Yihan continued asking about what happened next.

“Um… she was still quite normal that day, but the next day in the cafeteria, she looked much worse, her hair was all messy. Usually, she would save a seat for me, but that day when Li Jing and I went to the cafeteria, Li Jing asked her where our seats were, not only did she not save me a seat, but after looking at me once, she scolded Li Jing and then left directly with Ji Chuan…”

“After school that day, she also didn’t help me carry my bag, she just left directly. When I messaged her, she ignored me. When I sent her messages in the morning, she directly deleted me. When I called her, she gave me a long speech, telling me we were never friends, asking me to let go of the past.”

“She even tutored Ji Chuan, and when I went to ask her about that problem, not only did she not teach me, but she also mocked me, then secretly told Ji Chuan that a white moonlight is just a white moonlight after all. Wuwu… such a liar, she clearly said she would like me forever…”

As she spoke, she started crying again and couldn’t continue.

“She gave you a long speech? What did she say to you?”

Xu Fengwu sniffled a couple times before beginning to tell Xu Yihan completely what Xia Ruoming had said on the phone. It was the first time Xia Ruoming had spoken such heartless words to her, leaving a deep impression. She repeated it almost word for word.

“Ah…” Xu Yihan let out a long sigh after listening, shaking her head continuously.

“Xiao Feng, you need to understand that others’ kindness to you isn’t something to be taken for granted, and moreover, you were never really friends. Would just a friend spend 2 hours in the pouring rain to get you concert tickets? Would just a friend always put you behind them and handle everything themselves? You accept the benefits, while she bears the consequences. Although your relationship was unequal from the start, she still silently accepted it all.”

“Not seeking thanks or recognition, just doing what she likes, silently protecting the person she loves, this was her way of love. Perhaps in your eyes those things were trivial, but it was all because she liked you that she was willing to give so much, not wanting you to suffer even the slightest hurt.”

“Doesn’t Xia Ruoming know your personality? When she chose to pursue you, she understood better than anyone. These things she did weren’t really seeking your gratitude, but she wasn’t doing them to be insulted either. No one would be that psychologically twisted. You just took her kindness for granted, thinking she was born to be good to you. You hurt her heart countless times unintentionally, but she liked you, so she could ignore it, could silently lick her own wounds.”

“But Xiao Feng, mom wants to tell you, everyone in this world has a limit to how much hurt they can take. Her mental strength may be great enough, but that doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t hurt. Since she spoke such resolute words to you, and told you that you were never friends, it only means one thing.”

“She has lost hope. This path of giving without seeking return wasn’t the smooth road she had hoped for, but rather one full of thorns. A path with no end in sight will only make people want to retreat, and now is the time she has decided to give up. Just like she said, a white moonlight will ultimately remain something unreachable, better to settle for second best, to find a star willing to fall for her. She has let go of the past, and decided to let go of you too.”

While Xu Yihan was speaking, Xu Fengwu had already cried herself into a mess, completely unable to accept that Xia Ruoming would truly give up on her completely.

Only after losing something you originally had do you realize how precious the lost thing was.

Her mind was full of memories with Xia Ruoming.

When she was sick and took leave, all the materials were brought by Xia Ruoming, with complete class notes recorded without missing a word.

Whatever she wanted, when she didn’t want to go out, she just had to send a message, and Xia Ruoming would immediately bring it to her.

When she was unhappy and unreasonable towards Xia Ruoming, she would only comfort her, never complaining about anything.

Every time they went to that small cafeteria with insufficient seats, she never needed to get food or save seats, Xia Ruoming would handle everything for her.

But she just took it all as a friend being nice to her, thinking it was all natural, she was a phoenix, of course birds would flock around her.

She had never given anything back to Xia Ruoming, and Xia Ruoming had never complained about anything, just silently following behind her, no matter how fast or how far she walked.

If it was just for friendship, why would someone give so much for her.