Push Me Away When I Come, Don't Hold Me Back When I Leave - Chapter 12

Chapter 12: You and I Were Never Really Friends

***

The next day, Xia Ruoming woke up from her bed.

“Ahh! That was such a good sleep!” She stretched, feeling refreshed.

Xia Ruoming had never slept this well before. Previously, she would wake up 1.5 hours early to prepare breakfast for Xu Fengwu, wait for her downstairs, and carry her bag that she didn’t want to carry to school. It was exhausting like a dog, sometimes getting less than 6 hours of sleep per day.

In the past, she was often drowsy because she wasn’t getting enough sleep, her energy was poor at school, and even her skin deteriorated. Now she didn’t know how much time it would take to restore it.

Indeed, breaking free from the shackles of love makes people better.

…

Today’s weather seemed very gloomy, with clouds gathering in the sky, not letting through even a trace of light. Even Xu Fengwu’s heart grew gloomy along with it, as the familiar figure was not in front of her.

Xu Fengwu waited at the entrance of Jinxiang Residence with her heavy backpack.

Every time, Xia Ruoming would arrive early to wait for her to come downstairs, then hand her the still-hot breakfast, and carry her ridiculously heavy backpack to school.

Usually, Xia Ruoming would arrive at least 10 minutes early, but today she had been waiting downstairs for 15 minutes, and Xia Ruoming still hadn’t come.

“Where are you? I’ve been waiting for over 10 minutes!” Xia Ruoming’s phone rang with the familiar QQ notification sound. She opened her phone to see a message from Xu Fengwu, still with that familiar discourteous tone, as if Xia Ruoming was her servant.

“?”

After replying, she directly deleted Xu Fengwu’s contact from QQ, thoughtfully tapping 【Remove me from their friends list too】. She considered blocking her but decided against it after careful consideration.

Leave some room for courtesy, for future encounters. There was no need to make things so awkward with Xu Fengwu.

Xu Fengwu’s chat showed Xia Ruoming’s message, a big question mark seeming to show her confusion.

“If… if you stand me up, I’ll never talk to you again!” Xu Fengwu sent another message in the chat, but this time, the system directly showed the message failed to send.

“Clang.” A loud noise came as Xu Fengwu seemed to lose grip of her phone, which slid from her hands to the ground, the screen cracking like a spider web. The still-lit screen displayed a notification.

【QQ message sending failed, please add the other person as a friend first.】

Xia Ruoming had deleted her, leaving only a question mark as her final message.

Xu Fengwu collapsed to the ground, staring blankly at the ground. She couldn’t understand how Xia Ruoming could be so heartless, letting go of her so quickly. None of this seemed like playing hard to get, and Xia Ruoming wasn’t that kind of person. Xia Ruoming had said that she liked Xu Fengwu more than anyone else in the world, that she was the only one in her life.

So that goodbye the other day, never seeing each other again, was this what it meant? Not just saying goodbye to her, but also to her own feelings? Had she really decided to stop liking her?

Just because she rejected her confession, they couldn’t even be friends anymore? She only didn’t want to date too early, that’s all. Although her words that day were a bit harsh, it wasn’t entirely her fault.

She suddenly regretted listening to Li Jing. If she hadn’t listened to Li Jing that day and had rejected her more gently, perhaps things would be different now.

“No, no… it can’t end like this…” Xu Fengwu frantically picked up her phone. Fortunately, the phone wasn’t broken, just the screen was cracked, and it could still be used.

“That sadness still lurks ahead, the forest extends with no end to the journey home. Don’t be afraid to bear the pain and try to understand, that’s our life’s gift, taking a day’s length to gamble on a year’s variables, taking a lifetime to comprehend defeat.” The familiar “Rouge Tears” ringtone rang out as Xu Fengwu called Xia Ruoming repeatedly. Each time Xia Ruoming hung up, Xu Fengwu would call again.

After hanging up five consecutive calls, Xia Ruoming hesitated for a few seconds before finally answering.

“Where are you…” The voice on the other end seemed somewhat dejected.

“On my bike heading to school, what’s wrong?” Xia Ruoming replied indistinctly on the phone while eating her breakfast corn pancake.

Since she didn’t need to prepare for Xu Fengwu anymore, breakfast could be simple. She couldn’t be bothered to wake up early to prepare preserved vegetable chicken porridge and vegetable chicken pancakes. Buying outside was easier, wasn’t it nicer to get more sleep? Although the taste and hygiene weren’t as good as homemade, it was more convenient.

“Why didn’t you come to pick me up…?” Xu Fengwu’s voice seemed to carry a hint of tears. “You always come every morning.”

“Listen, young lady, if you want to find a servant, with your family’s conditions it should be very easy, and I think hired help would be very willing. If you like men, hire a male servant; if you like women, hire a female servant,” Xia Ruoming said casually. “Miss Xu, I used to trap myself in the past, feeling like part of my soul was left there, but now I’ve walked out of the past, and I ask you too, don’t trap yourself in the past anymore.”

“Thank you for always tolerating me shamelessly sticking by your side, but now I understand and won’t do that anymore. So let’s say goodbye here, Miss Xu. Perhaps you still find me so repulsive and disgusting when you see me now, but there are only a few days left, please endure it for the last time.”

“Why? Just because I rejected your confession, you even deleted me as a friend. We can’t even be friends because I rejected your confession? You clearly said you would like me forever, Xia Ruoming, you big liar!” Xu Fengwu’s voice over the phone was somewhat hysterical; Xia Ruoming even felt her mental state seemed a bit unstable.

“I just didn’t want to date too early, rejection is my right, isn’t it?”

“That’s right, rejection is your right, no problem.” Perhaps in her past life, Xia Ruoming would have tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat saying such things, but in this life she could remain unmoved. That cold tone even scared Xia Ruoming herself.

“Can we still be friends… just like before?” Xu Fengwu sat on the ground, her eyes now lacking their former sparkle. For the first time, she felt how much space Xia Ruoming had occupied in her life.

“As you said, rejecting a confession is your right, Miss Xu. Whether to continue being friends, that’s also my right, and it seems you have no reason to take that away. Besides, we were never friends. I was just a familiar stranger always following in your footsteps… Let’s go back to that afternoon and pretend we never knew each other.” Xia Ruoming’s tone sounded gentle yet so hurtful.

“Why? You clearly said you liked me so much, you clearly said you would like me forever!”

“Because, you see, I understood something. I like the wind, but the wind won’t stop for me to smell it just because I like it. I like clouds, but clouds won’t come down for me to see them just because I like them. But I like flowers, and flowers will really stay there for me to touch them. Many things in my life are just passing by, I can’t force them to stay by my side. I was wrong from the start, you made me understand that, and I’m really grateful to you for that. Although that person will never be me, I hope you can also meet someone who truly cares for you. Forgive me for telling you one lie, I can’t like you forever anymore. Xu Fengwu, goodbye.” After saying this, Xia Ruoming hung up the phone, also settling the aftermath for her past self.

The beeping sound came through the phone, leaving only Xu Fengwu crying heartbrokenly on the spot.

Although she felt Xia Ruoming was acting out of spite, at that moment, she felt something shatter. A voice in her heart was telling her that she had lost something very important.