[Picking Boat and Accompanying the Moon] We Will Meet Again Later - Chapter 32

The room was left in silent stillness.

The pungent smell of cigarette smoke, the nicotine, and her voice all seemed to numb the senses.

The hand Jiang Feng had placed behind her waist loosened, then slowly clenched into a fist.

His expression unchanged, he said, “No.”

Ning Xu’s eyes dimmed. She stood up and left without another word.

Two people who had once been so familiar were now pretending—one feigning ignorance, the other acting as if nothing had happened—both glossing over the truth to maintain the relationship.

Ning Xu withdrew her emotions, and her warmth cooled.

How could someone as perceptive as Jiang Feng not notice? And in response, his condition worsened.

He lost focus uncontrollably. While pouring hot water, he didn’t notice it overflowing and scalded his hand.

He suffered from insomnia at night, and by the time he woke up, Ning Xu was already downstairs, busy.

Something weighed on his heart, growing heavier and denser, until it became hard to breathe. As his mood sank, his physical strength seemed to drain away bit by bit, leaving him exhausted.

With the New Year approaching, every household was making preparations. Street stalls sold red envelopes, lanterns, Spring Festival couplets, and other items. The festive red finally added a touch of holiday atmosphere.

Both Ning Xu and Jiang Feng thought independently: Just get through the New Year. Once we’ve spent it together, everything will be fine. Whatever needs to be said or done can wait until after the New Year. After all, this was the first New Year they would celebrate together as adults.

However, things don’t always go as planned. The relationship they had been straining to maintain snapped on New Year’s Eve.

When Jiang Feng woke up, Ning Xu was already gone. She wasn’t streaming today, but she still had plenty to do.

Jiang Feng tidied up briefly, his mind both foggy and blank. When he came back to himself, he realized he was walking aimlessly on the street.

The experience center had already closed for the holiday. Where else could he go?

Distantly, he heard a man giving flowers to a woman. The woman was delighted.

Jiang Feng remembered he had never given Ning Xu a bouquet of flowers. So, he turned back and went to a flower shop to buy some.

During holidays, flower shops are especially busy. There were two shop assistants—one arranging bouquets, the other attending to customers. With so many customers, they couldn’t immediately assist Jiang Feng.

There were too many flowers displayed together, their scents mingling. He couldn’t distinguish one fragrance from another.

He had no idea what kind of flowers were beautiful or what color and shape Ning Xu might like.

Jiang Feng traced the contours of the petals, his heart aching.

After finishing with a payment, the shop assistant hurriedly asked Jiang Feng, “What kind of flowers would you like?”

Jiang Feng lowered his eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Then which bouquet would you like? We have many pre-made ones,” the assistant tried again.

Jiang Feng still said, “I don’t know.”

The assistant had to change the approach. “Who are you buying them for?”

“My girlfriend.”

Thinking he wanted to surprise his girlfriend but didn’t know her preferences, the assistant suggested, “Then how about red roses? They’re our bestseller today. They’re the safest choice for girls, have a good meaning, and red is very suitable for the occasion.”

Jiang Feng took a bouquet of roses and paid.

Returning home, he heard no movement and knew Ning Xu hadn’t returned yet.

He sat on the sofa, hands on his knees, the roses drooping in his grasp.

Silence lingered for a long time.

Jiang Feng raised a hand and touched each rose one by one. Suddenly, his fingers found one that was withered and rotten. Pulling it out, he discovered the stem had decayed, emitting a faint foul odor.

He thought Ning Xu wouldn’t like this bouquet of roses.

No matter how pretty the packaging, no matter how it was hidden among other vibrant blooms, eventually someone would discover it was rotten, spoiled, and meant to be discarded.

Jiang Feng almost laughed out loud.

He stood up, holding the bouquet of roses, like a deranged murderer lifting a corpse ready for disposal.

Jiang Feng found a large pair of scissors and roughly cut open the packaging. The roses scattered on the floor.

He knelt, picked up one rose, and began cutting it into segments, from the head down.

Snip—snip—

The quiet living room was filled only with the sharp sound of cutting, the floral scent growing even stronger.

Not a single rose escaped this devastation. In the end, the floor was covered in red and green fragments, like scattered pieces of a puzzle.

The scissors finally stopped, but the vase became the next victim.

The vase shattered atop the petals and leaves. Jiang Feng reached out to pick up the fragments, his fingers getting cut, blood dripping down.

The petals were red, the blood was red—for a moment, it was impossible to distinguish what on the floor was flower and what was blood.

Flesh and blood should fear sickness and pain, but his face showed a strange sense of satisfaction.

Pain also makes one feel alive. Because he couldn’t see, he didn’t know whether the next shard would be sharper, piercing or cutting deeper.

It was like betting on a dice game, with his flesh and blood as the stake.

“Jiang Feng.”

A soft call.

Jiang Feng froze instantly, the blood in his body turning cold from head to toe, his fingertips trembling.

“What are you doing?” Ning Xu asked.

She had been home all along. Sensing something was off about Jiang Feng, she had remained silent, watching his every move from a distance.

This state of his.

This state of his!

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Ning Xu raised her voice. “Talk!”

Jiang Feng hid his hands behind his back, powerless to explain. “I… I…”

“And this!”

Ning Xu slammed something onto the floor. Pills scattered over the red petals and green leaves, like snow falling upon them.

Ning Xu had taken these same medications when her anxiety was severe. She knew Jiang Feng had been taking them secretly but hadn’t exposed him.

Countless times, she had wanted to ask him: Why, even at this point, wouldn’t he tell her?

But she, uncharacteristically timid, didn’t dare to ask. What if she was the source of his pressure? What would she do then?

But now, at this point, what else could she do?

Ning Xu’s vision blurred. Clenching her teeth, she said, “If being with me is so painful…”

“If it’s so painful…”

As if anticipating what she was about to say, Jiang Feng turned pale, his voice trembling. “No, it’s not… I’m sorry… Don’t… Please don’t…”

Jiang Feng’s eyes reddened, completely losing the strength to stand. He looked up, agonized and desperate, like a convict awaiting a death sentence.

And then, the final, resolute judgment was delivered.

Ning Xu turned away, closed her eyes for a long time, clenched her fists, and spoke in a voice unfamiliar even to herself,

“Then let’s break up.”

Under the night sky, a train moved along the tracks.

Ning Xu wasn’t in the mood to drive herself, and she hadn’t booked tickets in advance. High-speed and bullet trains were out of the question. When buying a regular train ticket, she couldn’t get a soft sleeper, but compared to standing tickets, she was lucky enough to get a hard seat by the window.

The scenery outside the glass was dark and blurry, casting a slight shadow over her expression.

She left in a hurry without packing any luggage, carrying only her phone and ID card. Her phone was almost dead, and she had no charger.

Ning Xu sent a message to Gao Jinfei, asking him to check on Jiang Feng at her place.

After sending the message, she turned off her phone and didn’t look at it again.

After a night on the train, she had to take a minibus to the county.

New Year’s Eve passed just like that. Today was the first day of the Lunar New Year, and the festive atmosphere in the countryside was undoubtedly stronger than in the city.

Every household was adorned with bright red window decorations and Spring Festival couplets. The sounds of firecrackers and dogs barking could be heard near and far.

Many families had their doors open, with neighbors and relatives coming and going, chatting and joking, visiting to offer New Year’s greetings.

Ning Xu stepped over the scattered red paper scraps on the ground and made her way home after several turns.

The newborn kittens at home didn’t recognize her yet and scurried away to hide. Ning Xu had no choice but to catch a lazy, dozing adult cat and pet it vigorously.

After ruffling its fur and watching the cat smooth it back down with a look of disdain, Ning Xu’s mood lightened slightly.

“Dad, hey Dad—”

Ning Liangqing heard her voice and came out holding pliers. He smiled when he saw her. “Weren’t you saying you wouldn’t be back this year?”

“Missed you, that’s why,” Ning Xu said. “What are you up to?”

Ning Liangqing walked back into the house with her. There was a fire pit burning with charcoal and firewood. Ning Liangqing had placed an iron rack over it, warming himself while roasting plain glutinous rice cakes.

The hard rice cakes gradually softened under the heat, releasing a toasted, fragrant aroma.

Ning Liangqing served her a bowl of hot soup and picked out a well-roasted rice cake for her.

Sitting by the fire pit, her body gradually warmed up. A bowl of hot soup flowed through her, heating her limbs. Ning Xu ate the rice cake in big bites—its surface was golden and crispy, while the inside was soft, sticky, and sweet.

These rice cakes could be fried, stir-fried, or steamed, but her favorite was always roasting them over charcoal.

Ning Liangqing knew she liked them, so he always lit a fire to roast them whenever she returned.

“If you knew I wasn’t coming back, why were you roasting these anyway?” Ning Xu couldn’t help but say. “Look at other families—everyone’s having a lively time. You should join them. Drink, play cards—whatever. If you lose, it’s on me; if you win, it’s yours.”

Since Ning Xu started earning some money, she refused to let Ning Liangqing do hard labor. Moreover, after his injury at the construction site, his health had worsened, and he couldn’t sustain physical labor anymore even if he wanted to.

Ning Xu gave him money to open a small shop, something easier.

In the end, Ning Liangqing couldn’t let go of his wife. He came to this small county where Lu Huilin was buried, opened a convenience store, stayed to watch over her, and visited her grave from time to time.

Ning Liangqing didn’t respond to her question. Instead, he asked, “Something on your mind? Why not tell me about it?”

A father knows his daughter best. It had only taken a moment for him to see through her. Ning Xu smiled. “What are you talking about? I just didn’t rest well after a night on the train.”

Ning Liangqing didn’t press further and just gave her another roasted rice cake.

Ning Xu ate several pieces until she was full, then sat contentedly by the fire, staring blankly.

Ning Liangqing asked, “Want to come out for a walk with me later, or rest in your room first?”

Exhausted, Ning Xu went straight to her room to lie down.

The room wasn’t much different from how it looked when she visited last year. Ning Liangqing had cleaned it in advance, and the bedding had been washed and sun-dried.

Lying on the bed, Ning Xu felt too tired to move. Her mind was foggy with sleepiness, but she couldn’t fall asleep.

She stared blankly as the sky outside the window gradually darkened. The first day of the New Year was about to pass like this, and her heart ached with sorrow.

She had thought about how to spend this New Year—for example, preparing a table of good food, putting up couplets and window decorations with Jiang Feng, watching those boring TV programs in the evening, and then cutting paper shapes for him to guess what animal they were, with red envelopes as rewards for correct guesses.

In the past, he had always given her red envelopes. Afraid she wouldn’t accept them, he would sneak them into her backpack. When she asked, he would deny it.

It was such an obvious lie. The back of the red envelopes had Braille engraved on them—who else around her knew Braille?

Back then, she couldn’t understand it. When she asked him, he would look embarrassed and evade the question, “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing important.”

She had no choice but to keep the red envelopes, saving them to understand later.

They had been together for almost five years, and Ning Xu had received five red envelopes from him.

To engrave Braille, the red envelopes were made of stiff paper, larger than the palm of her hand.

But by the time Ning Xu understood what was written on them, she and Jiang Feng had already parted ways.

The first red envelope read: Happy New Year to Ning Xu, age 8. This is my first time giving someone a red envelope. I hope it makes you happy.

The second red envelope: Happy New Year to Ning Xu, age 9. I hope you won’t be angry with me this year.

The third red envelope: Happy New Year to Ning Xu, age 10. I hope we can be together this year too.

The fourth red envelope: Happy New Year to Ning Xu, age 11. I hope you stay healthy and don’t get sick anymore.

The fifth red envelope: Happy New Year to Ning Xu, age 12. I hope you still won’t find out this year that I’ve long been unable to live without you, that I’ve liked you for a long time.