Palace Struggles Is Also Crazy - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Empress’s Difficult Role (1)

– Section 1-

“I wonder if you’ve noticed, the Emperor hasn’t been very happy lately.”

Taking advantage of the morning and evening visits, when the palace beauties came to Qin Ning Palace to pay their respects, the Empress Dowager casually mentioned this.

After speaking, she glanced at the group of women below her, first nodding in satisfaction. Now that the Emperor was young and powerful, the harem was full. Under the Empress, there was one Noble Consort, below the Noble Consort were four Consorts, and below the Consorts were numerous imperial concubines, maids, and attendants. With such a complete setup, there was no need to worry about lacking people to play mahjong with.

She cleared her throat and asked again, “Does anyone know what’s going on?”

The women looked at each other and shook their heads in unison.

The Empress Dowager frowned, “I’m not blaming you, but as the Emperor’s bed partners, apart from not being able to interfere with politics, flatter the monarch, or play mahjong… can’t you show more concern for the Emperor?”

The women lowered their heads guiltily.

Since it was hard to scold everyone, the Empress Dowager started calling out names, “Noble Consort Xi, you’re the leader when the Empress is not around. Analyze for me why the Emperor is unhappy?”

Noble Consort Xi was suddenly called out and quickly stood up. Her round face and big eyes looked pure and innocent as she blinked. Before she could speak, her face turned red, “Your subject, your subject, I, I…”

“Forget it, let’s change the question,” the Empress Dowager said with a kind smile. “What was the fourth sentence the Empress said the day before yesterday afternoon?”

Noble Consort Xi’s face turned even redder, this time clearly due to excitement. She replied without hesitation, “It was ‘Meng Meng, get up for this palace’, Your Majesty. You might not know, Meng Meng is a dog the Empress recently adopted, gifted by the Siberian country. Its alias is Husky, nickname Er Ha…”

The Empress Dowager covered her face, “Alright, I know. Child, control your saliva. I’m very pleased that you care about the Empress. If only you could occasionally show some love to the Emperor, and I’ll thank your whole family, okay?”

Noble Consort Xi quietly defended herself, “How can it be the same? The Empress is my idol, and the Emperor is just an emperor.”

The Empress Dowager: “…”

The Empress Dowager pretended not to hear.

Her authoritative gaze turned to the leader of the Four Consorts, Consort De.

Consort De anticipated being called and stood up voluntarily. As she stood up, her presence became imposing, her hair bun towering high, her vermilion lips and rouge gleaming so beautifully that they could dazzle people’s eyes. If the venue were larger, she could have walked around with her magnificent, embroidered, and dragon-patterned wide-sleeved, immortal-descending dress, holding her head high and chest out…
Suddenly, she remembered that the old lady in front of her was the Emperor’s mother and had to restrain herself, only holding her chest out and saying, “I don’t know.”

The Empress Dowager: “… I don’t know what kind of display you’re putting on!”

Consort De shrugged, “I haven’t been favored by the Emperor for half a month, so I really don’t know what’s on his mind.”

The Empress Dowager asked further, “So, whose palace did the Emperor last stay in?”

The women looked at each other, and Consort Xian, seeing the most gazes fall on her, voluntarily raised her hand, “It wasn’t me! I didn’t! I’ve been busy contacting my brother who does business in the Western Regions, bringing goods for my sisters. I didn’t have time to… umm… care about the Emperor. The last time I saw the Emperor was a month ago, and he asked me to find some secret medicine for tonifying the kidney in the Western Regions and have my brother bring some back.”

The Empress Dowager: “?”
Everyone else: “?”
Consort Xian quickly added, “It was a reward, a reward, a reward. The Emperor said it was a reward.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh—”

After a moment of silence, the Empress Dowager asked, “Did the Emperor say who the reward was for?”

The others quietly pricked up their ears.
Consort Xian: “… Hehehehehehehe.”

The Forbidden City was full of rumors, it’s hard to do micro-business these days, and keeping confidentiality for clients is my most basic principle, okay?

At this moment, Consort Liang suddenly sneered from the side.

Consort De raised her eyebrows: “Consort Liang, do you have any insights? Could it be that the Emperor last went to your palace to make voodoo dolls?”

Consort Liang was naturally petite and thin, and she pursued a sickly beauty, always carrying a doll with her. She wore a pure white palace dress, and if some smoke was added, she could have played a role in a ghost story. Before she entered the palace, she was a famous talented woman in the capital. As the saying goes, talented people are often arrogant, but Consort Liang wasn’t arrogant, she was purely proud.
“Let me reiterate, these are collectible dolls, please don’t use such vulgar words like ‘voodoo dolls’ to insult art. Besides, after I made a zombie version of the doll and gave it to the Emperor last time, he has been avoiding me for half a year. I’m not saying anything else, but I think you all are just born to be concubines. If you want to know who understands the Emperor best in the palace, don’t you all know?”

Noble Consort Xi blinked: “No, I don’t know.”

Consort De: “Damn it, Consort Liang, don’t forget you’re also a concubine. Are you trying to provoke me or are you getting too arrogant? Do you believe I’ll make you a ‘cool’ concubine in a minute?”

The Empress Dowager pressed down on Consort De, who was about to start speaking in her hometown dialect, and as the only person with her intelligence still online, she asked sincerely, “Consort Liang, who do you think understands the Emperor best?”

The room fell silent for a moment, and everyone couldn’t help but hold their breath voluntarily.

Consort Liang said coolly, “How would I know? I’m just providing an opinion for your reference.”

“Hey, hey, hey, Your Majesty, don’t get excited, take care of your fragile little heart.” Consort De saw the old lady was about to explode and quickly restrained her, “Talented people are all a little crazy, as a respected elder, you should be more tolerant of the younger generation. If Consort Liang gets frosty, no one will write Spring Festival couplets, let’s keep her around for the New Year, okay?”

The Empress Dowager barely suppressed her anger, covering her chest and sighing, “Every time this happens, I miss the Empress even more. I’d rather be forced by her to get up early and do an hour of aerobics than deal with you bunch of naughty kids. Where is the Empress, anyway?”

Noble Consort Xi weakly said, “Your Majesty, you forgot. Yesterday, the Empress forced you to get up early and do aerobics, and you got angry and punished her to reflect on her actions in the Kun Ning Palace, so she didn’t come to pay her respects.”

“Ah, I’d forgotten about that. Well, I’ll be a promise-breaking Empress Dowager. Summon the guards, let’s head to the Kun Ning Palace… to do aerobics.”

Section 2

The beauties followed the Empress Dowager to the Kun Ning Palace.
The female official, Xiao Cui, nodded towards the western warm pavilion, “Your Majesty, you’d better take control. Our Highness has gone crazy again.”

The Empress Dowager took a step back, making a defensive gesture, “Has she started practicing kickboxing again?”

“It’s even scarier than kickboxing. Our Highness hasn’t been human for the past two days. She’s been laying out long mats on the ground and posing in inhuman positions. It’s so shameful.”

The Empress Dowager rushed into the western warm pavilion and indeed saw the Empress twisting herself into a pretzel on the ground. The Empress Dowager tried to look as benevolent as possible, “Child, what are you doing? I’ve thought it over, and it was wrong of me to oppose your leading the harem in morning exercises. But you must remember that we’re a harmonious and loving family. If you have any ideas, speak up boldly, and I’ll pardon you. You don’t need to torture yourself.”

Mainly because if she tortured herself to death, it would be hard to find a replacement to fill the difficult position of Empress. The Empress was taken aback, straightened her clothes, and stood up, “I’m not doing anything, Mother. What are you talking about? This is a new fitness exercise from the West called yoga. It’s especially suitable for women like us. It can strengthen our bodies, improve our bone density, and enhance our temperament. I’ve tried it for two days and found it quite effective. I plan to promote it in the harem. Would you like to try it, Mother?”

The Empress Dowager decisively refused, “No way, I’d rather keep my old arms and legs intact to play mahjong for a few more years.”

“…Oh.”
It was an expected result, and the Empress wasn’t discouraged. She looked at the crowd behind the Empress Dowager and thought that it was quite a gathering. The last time there was such a gathering was when she forced everyone to join her and the Empress Dowager in square dancing.
They had argued over whether to dance to “Little Orange” or “The Most Dazzling Da Wei Style,” and they had come to her to settle the dispute, causing quite a commotion.

The Empress’s heart skipped a beat as she cautiously examined the crowd, her eyes narrowing, “What’s going on? Did Consort Shu start a meeting with Katy Perry, or is Consort Xian wasting public time selling face masks again? Consort De, you’re dressed so extravagantly, are you going to a beauty pageant? Consort Liang, you’re dressed so plainly, which funeral did you just come back from?”