Online Dating, Fooled 800 Times - Chapter 6

Unacceptable, she couldn’t continue this roast battle. Xiang Kui felt like she was basically training him for free.

 

She swung her sword, ready to blacklist him—

 

[[Private Chat] Punishment: Whoever blocks me is a pig?]

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: …good luck little gradeschooler <3!]

 

[[Private Chat] Punishment: Who’s in elementary school? I’m in college.]

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: in that case, good luck little gradeschooler <3!]

 

[[Private Chat] Punishment: ?]

 

She knew [Punishment] wasn’t attacking not because he’d given up, but because he was unable to insta-kill her with his current equipment. A Tianren assassin’s ultimate burst combo was limited, and the main city guards wouldn’t just stand there while he kept throwing out attack stills in front of them. If he acted rashly, he’d be killed instead.

 

Her private chat buzzed again.

 

[[Private Chat] Wild Baboon Mother: Are you going to run a dungeon? I’ve saved a spot for you. It’s a good time to grind a few more times and upgrade your gear for other parts.]

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: Sure! ^^ Where are you? I’ll send you gold to pay for the party.]

 

[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: Ah, no need, no need. Yesterday, Boss [Rush] PMed me that he stole your gear by accident. But since bound items can’t be traded, he asked that I help you farm a few more times. The gold for the equipment will be credited to his account. Consider it a fine.]

 

Xiang Kui paused.

 

What kind of trick is this?

 

Accidentally? If you’re a complete greenhorn, then it’s understandable. After all, newbies don’t understand the mechanics and mostly just press whatever button is available. You’re a veteran player with years of experience, how could you be this careless?

 

What’s the difference between this and someone visiting the ER with a bottle up their ass saying they sat on it on accident while trying to shower?

 

[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: No need~ I’m not mad.]

 

[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: Your tempers so much better now!]

 

[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: So it was an accident. Now that makes sense. It’s not a seizure. Good thing it wasn’t a seizure. /Reassured/Reassured]

 

[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: …]

 

Because you can’t hunt another player when they’re in a dungeon, Xiang Kui ignored the [Punishment]’s sneaky actions, and directly joined [Wild Female Baboon]’s team.

 

There weren’t any members of the [Prairie Fire] Guild in this dungeon team. The party leader must have screened them ahead of time to avoid another argument. As soon as she landed, [Wild Female Baboon] came up to her and said over voice chat, “When you make a Tianwu Weapon, can you show it to me? I heard this season’s Kongshan Tianwu is really pretty.”

 

There was a hint of envy in her voice.

 

[Wild Female Baboon] played a Lingxu, a sect whose skills involve stealing corpses and refining bones. Now, with half a creaking human skeleton following behind her, it looked a bit creepy. Each sect’s Tianwu Weapon looks different. The Lingxu Sect’s Tianwu is a quarter of a skull, and judging by the description, it was apparently torn from the corpse of a sect leader…

 

While everyone claims there’s no discrimination against Kongshan, the chances of encountering a Kongshan Sect Tianwu are clearly much lower than for the ever-powerful and handsome Jiange Sect.

 

[[Team] Man-Eating Sunflower: Of course~]

 

[[Team] Ami Tofu: You should start collecting enchantments now, as the right ones are quite hard to come by right now.]

 

[[Team] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: Isn’t it just the one with the +40% damage over time enchantment? Otherwise, what else can Kongshan do?]

 

She’s seen this [Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you] message in the sect channel before, and they even sent a friend request. Xiang Kui clicked accept. Before the other person even opened their mouth, she knew what they were going to ask.

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: I don’t sell gemstones, and I don’t lend accounts.]

 

The highest rank in the game’s Arena is capped at 2000 points. Those with more than 2000 points advance to the Martial Arts Tournament, where it’s filled with fierce battles. Possessing a Heavenly-tier weapon can give you a significant advantage. Some players are unlucky enough not to find gems on their own accounts, forcing them to borrow others’.

 

Lately, Qiankun Online seems to be heavily promoting competitive events, pre-setting a number of generous rewards for top-ranked players in the Martial Arts Tournament. These rewards include both in-game and out-of-game prizes, such as graphics card hardware. Judging by the trend, there’s a rumor that Qiankun would start hosting offline tournaments.

 

[[Private Chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: Don’t be so adamant, the price is negotiable.]

 

[[Private Chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: It’s not me who’s wants it, it’s Lu Zhiqiu. You should know him, right? He was the original leader of the [Without a Pair] Guild in an older server. Now he’s back to play and has established a guild with close friends. [Rush] is also from their guild.]

 

Why would Xiang Kui know who Lu Zhiqiu was? She wasn’t big on socializing in the game. Besides, based on the previous situation with [Warlord Li Li], what kind of good characters would come out of playing with [Rush]?

 

[[Private Chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: By the way, I’m one of the admins for [Without a Pair]. [Without a Pair] and [Prairie Fire] are rival gangs. If you don’t mind, I can add you. After all, those guys are constantly pestering you, and it’s hard to finish the quest, right?]

 

[Without a Pair] is about the same size as [Prairie Fire], and there’s always conflict between them. Judging from what the other party was saying, if Xiang Kui was willing to give them some face, it wouldn’t be a problem to recruit her into the guild and give her a hand.

 

But sorry, Xiang Kui never needs outside help.

 

[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: I’m already in a guild.]

 

[[Private Chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: I’ve seen your guild, and not to be harsh, but you’ll have to quit sooner or later. Other than life-players, who can stand a bunch of eager but incompetent teammates?]

 

Xiang Kui frowned, and her desire to continue the conversation instantly died.

 

We’re here to play games, not complete military training. Sure, they may seem like noobs, but there’s no need to say that.

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: No thanks. I’m not switching guilds. I plan to compete in the martial arts competition myself.]

 

[[Private Chat] If you play Kongshan again, I’ll slap you: … No way, as a Kongshan? Fight with what, your head? What’s your purpose in joining that guild anyways. They can’t even assemble a ten-person party. /Speechless]

 

She hates people who talk too much. It’s none of their business. Xiang Kui threw out a final message:

 

[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: I’m going to raise their average competitive level ^ ^]

 

——

 

Xiang Kui emerged from the dungeon, looking, if not completely refreshed, then refreshed.

 

She had some good luck tonight, obtaining several pieces of general-purpose internal martial arts related equipment. Her build could almost be considered second tier now, and all she needs now is that still uncrafted Tianwu Weapon.

 

She opened the game map and was about to check how many people were in the Far North when her private chat panel flashed:

 

[[Private Chat] Wait, Scolded Again: Kui! Hurry to YY! Warlord Li Li has a team waiting to ambush you!]

 

Xiang Kui, “…”

 

YY is a voice chat app that allows you to create fixed channels and assign different levels of user accounts to players. Although Qiankun recently added voice chat functions in-game, most players still prefer using YY to communicate. (TL note: YY is like Discord)

 

She joined the guild YY channel. There were only four people in it, and she was given an orange user account. Her nickname was still a string of numbers, making it clear she had just registered a new account.

 

She changed the displayed nickname to the rather standard [Man-eating Sunflower].

 

[Wait, Scolded Again]’s microphone was on, and the keyboard sounds clattered as if the user was playing OSU. [Sorry, I’m hard of hearing] was also present, seemingly oblivious to the sound. In between the keyboard drumbeats, they even whispered into their 50-cent electric microphone, “Xiao Ma, are you still going to the Far North tonight?” (TL note: “Ma” in this case means “Scold” in Mandarin. Xiao Ma = [Wait, Scolded Again])

 

“Yes, of course, no reason not to. But I plan to log off at 10ish,” Guild Leader Xiao Ma said with a noticeable accent. “There’s a power outage here. I logged in with my old laptop using my hotspot. The back cover is so hot I could fry an egg on it. I’m worried for the screen.”

 

“Huh? A power outage in this heat?” Bei Bei’s poor audio resulted in crackling speech. “Why don’t you turn the fan on a point it at your computer to cool it down? This crappy game’s animations are so laggy.”

 

Guild Leader Xiao Ma said, “No! Blowing a fan in your face can easily give you a cold. Don’t you know that?”

 

Bei Bei suddenly realized: “Oh, that’s also true.”

 

Xiang Kui: “…” Ten seconds passed. Ten seconds, and neither of them had noticed anything wrong with what they said.

 

“Ah, Man-eating Sunflower, you’re here?” Xiao Ma finally spotted Xiang Kui, who had been lurking. “Are you able to turn on your mic?”

 

Xiang Kui pressed the corner of her lips together, cleared her throat, and clicked on the mic icon. “I can.”

 

The female voice in the headset was crystal clear and cool, with crisp enunciation and a sense of distance. Yesterday, this person had furiously typed in chat, “Drag out your skills!!!” and “Dispel!! Dispel!!!” in a manner completely unlike the current voice. Guild Leader Xiao Ma didn’t believe her ears, and went to double-check the user ID.

 

Is this the same person? Never would have imagined that this is her voice!

 

But she had been playing Qiankun for so long and had seen it all. She coughed calmly and started typing.

 

[[Private Chat] Wait, Scolded Again: How come this newbie has such a nice voice? It’s making me blush.]

 

[[Private Chat] Sorry, I’m hard of hearing: Really? ? Then I’ll turn up the volume!]

 

Xiang Kui, none the wiser, prompted, “Guild Leader?”

 

“According to my spies, the main group of the Prairie Fire Gang is currently at Guofenggang in the Far North.” Xiao Ma’s tone was always inexplicably passionate. “But don’t panic! They don’t seem to know that tonight is the opposing faction’s team-building session. In just three minutes, Prairie Fire will be pinned to the ground by a group of warriors with no way to shake them off!”

 

“Huh?” Xiang Kui was surprised by the leader’s wisdom. “Do you have a spu in the opposing faction?”

 

“No,” Xiao Ma said confidently. “I saw it on the public channel.”

 

Xiang Kui: “…”

 

Then act like you’re being strategic, okay?

 

Sure enough, a quick glance at the world channel revealed that this operation was already underway. Whenever the two factions got into a melee, they would just hit any red-named character they saw. A bunch of unlucky passersbys in the world channel were spamming:

 

[[World] Ami Tofu: Stop it, stop it. Please, just put away your magical powers! /Noodle Tears]

 

[[World] Yellow Duck Explodes: I just want to complete a quest… Can you please stop stepping on my face…]

 

Huh?

 

Xiang Kui suddenly felt a spark of inspiration and switched to her small account, still parked in the Novice Village, and took a look at the location [Rush] was headed.

 

The Far North.

 

Perfect, she had a daring idea.

 

“Everyone online, come join me in escorting our newcomer to do her pre-quest!” Guild leader Xiao Ma declared with pride. “Everyone, teleport to the Far North’s Guofenggang!”

 

Five minutes later, with the exception of Man-eating Sunflower, who had buffed all her stats to increase her speed and health while using a Following Wind Flag item, the other four lay dead on the ground, unable to be retrieved.

 

Xiao Ma, “You know, we’re not pro players…”

 

The YY chatroom was suffocatingly quiet. Xiang Kui hid her character behind a boulder, expertly positioning herself to be in the healing range of a medic from the same faction. Sure enough, she saw a notification of [Rush]’s appearance in the area in the upper right corner of her screen.

 

The swordsman, dressed in white, stood atop the pavilion, his back straight, seemingly uninterested in a melee. Based on his position and the “Light as a Swallow” buff on his status bar, Xiang Kui guessed he was simply gathering herbs in the far north.

 

Yes, he hadn’t even joined a faction, let alone a guild, so the fight truly had nothing to do with him. However, the longer Xiang Kui watched him gloomily from the side, the longer the swordsman received healing. Even if a random from the Miaoshou Sect passed by, he would give him a quick heal. 

 

“…”

 

Why!

 

You don’t deserve it!

 

Feeling sour, Xiang Kui began to search her bag for equipment. Increased critical chance, increased critical damage… In Qiankun, most items that increase critical damage also reduce defense. With this set of equipment, Xiang Kui instantly became as fragile as a singular Lays potato chip. But her frailty also caught the attention of a nearby healer, and the green healing symbol above her head flickered.

 

Amidst the chaos of fighting, [Rush] remained unbothered as he bent over gathering herbs.

 

Xiang Kui estimated the distance between them and, despite the risk of dying, took two steps forward, habitually hiding herself behind the butt of a large Bodybuilding Sect player. She contemplated inwardly.

 

If she managed to land her combo with three critical hits, [Rush] had an 80% chance of dying instantly. If she landed only two or none at all, it would mean that this Sect’s characters did have design issues. However, with so many players present, how would the other side even know who had attacked him? No point in not trying.

 

A nearby Demonic Cult player unleashed a poisonous mist, an AOE ability. [Rush], perhaps too lazy to dodge the harm, which was not fatal, had his health bar slowly dropped to 60%.

 

During this brief, unhealed period, the Kongshan Flying Fan swung over, accurately and gracefully landing four continuous damage attacks on the swordsman. Clouds vanished, rain cleared, an instant explosion erupted!

 

Triggering three critical hits meant added damage, so the combined damage was terrifyingly high, but [Rush]’s equipment was so incredibly powerful that even with all that, he still had 10% of his health left. Xiang Kui sighed, her face falling.

 

This was a failure. With so much health left, he can just use a damage reduction or life-saving skill, take a few steps back, and it would be like nothing even happened—

 

[Rush] stopped picking herbs.

 

[Rush] raised his head.

 

[Rush] stood still.

 

He didn’t react at all.

 

Xiang Kui, “?”

 

What the hell?

 

She was baffled. She took another tentative step forward and unleashed a basic skill, ‘Rain and Storm’, which emptied [Rush]’s remaining 10% health bar, sending him collapsing.

 

[System Notice: You killed [Rush]!]

 

[[World] Rush: [Rush] was brutally murdered by [Man-Eating Sunflower] in [The Far North]! ]

 

Xiang Kui: “…?”

 

After collapsing to the ground, the expert didn’t even bother returning to the resurrection point. Instead, he drank a high-level potion worth fifty RMB and rose to his feet at 30% health. Just then, Xiang Kui’s ultimate skill cooldown was over, and she chose her target, triggering a critical hit, sending [Rush] reeling.

 

[System Notice: You killed [Rush]!]

 

[[World] Rush: [Rush] was brutally murdered by [Man-Eating Sunflower] in [The Far North]! ]

 

Xiang Kui was shocked.

 

At that moment, she saw the line between them turn red, indicating that [Rush] not only knew who had killed him, but also her exact location—Kongshan was a ranged sect, with their skills capped at 35 feet, yet this guy didn’t even take a few steps back!

 

[[World] Big Segment of Fat Intestine:??? What’s going on? /Runny Nose]

 

[[World] Black Logic Cat: Is there something wrong with my eyes? Who’s killing who? And Rush? Did these two people have anything to do with each other before?]

 

[[World] Little Bear Dance: He was the silent, taciturn Moon in the sky. She was the passionate Flower of the World. He thought he’d weathered the storm of love, his heart sealed, until that night, she hurt him, leaving without a second glance, taking the blessings from Warlord Lili. Fate plays tricks on them, the world twists and turns. When they met again, a single glance revealed a clash of swords…]

 

[[World] Warlord Li Li: What’s wrong with you? This has nothing to do with me!!!]

 

At the intersection of the red lines, Xiang Kui watched [Rush] rise to his feet for the third time. This time, he unsheathed his sword, a cold aura blazing behind him. A flying sword flashed towards her, but Xiang Kui deftly dodged it with a teleportation skill, her skirt rising slightly as she landed on the other side of the pavilion, where a supporting pillar blocked her from [Rush]’s view.

 

His health was already low after taking a revive potion, and several continuous attacks continued to sap his health. He navigated clumsily and silently to Xiang Kui, then fell heavily to the ground.

 

[System Notice: You killed [Rush]!]

 

[[World] Rush: [Rush] was brutally murdered by [Man-Eating Sunflower] in [The Far North]! ]

 

Xiang Kui: “…………”

 

She sent a private message to [Rush] in astonishment.

 

[[Private Message] Man-eating Sunflower: ?]

 

Almost at the same time:

 

[[Private Message] Rush: ?]

 

At this moment, Xiang Kui uttered the most heartfelt words She had spoken in the few days since joining the new server:

 

[[Private Message] Man-eating Sunflower: Oh my god.]

 

[[Private Message] Man-eating Sunflower: You’re really shit at this! /shock/shock/shock]