Online Dating, Fooled 800 Times - Chapter 3
(TL Note: “/” denotes an emoticon. “/fist” = fist emoji)
Just as Lin Xi had said, at 7:30 pm on the dot, [Rush]’s avatar lit up in her Enemy List.
Xiang Kui switched to a guest account to take a look. At the same moment, [Crossing Summer] had also logged in, the two characters standing close together.
If Xiang Kui had been a little suspicious at first, now she was 100% confident. Qiankun had so many gameplay modes that there were plenty of ways to play by yourself. If two players insisted on being tied together both online and offline, there were only two possible scenarios: either they were in a relationship, or they were on the path to being in a relationship. No exceptions.
True revenge always occurs silently. Xiang Kui didn’t immediately charge in with a battlecry…mainly because she couldn’t kill them at the moment. Instead, she stood in the main city quest area, looking for a dungeon group to join and get some passable gear.
In the newest patch, Qiankun released a 15-player dungeon named [Infiltrate the Blade Sect]. The mechanics were fresh, the requirements weren’t too high, and there was a chance of dropping limited-time special effect equipment. There were many dungeon clearing team recruitment notices for players in the chat. For every team she applied to, Xiang Kui was rejected.
[[Private Chat] Tomato: Party’s full.]
[[Private Chat] Cilantro with Garlic: Change your attributes to Healer before applying lol.]
[[Private Chat] Sister, Don’t Cry: Sister, are you applying to teams blindly? I’m your last-last-last-ex /Speechless]
Xiang Kui, “?”
How many exes does she supposedly have? Is she really going to be a naive widow with nine failed relationships at her young age?
Finally, one of her party join requests went through, but before she even saw the team list, she was ruthlessly kicked out.
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: ? Didn’t you post that anyone can join??]
[[Private Chat] I’m a Dog in the Starting Team: Oops sorry, didn’t see there was a Kongshan character.]
Xiang Kui, “…………”
Amidst the soothing background music of the main city, Xiang Kui’s ears twitched, hearing a barely noticeable shuffling sound through her headphones. She immediately controlled her avatar to jump backward, using Light Kungfu to fly next to the guard NPC.
To force a PvP kill in the main city, there are two conditions. The first is possessing the invisibility skill of a Tianren Assassin. The second is acting at a sufficient distance from the guards, so the assassin can insta-kill their opponent before the guards arrive at the crime scene. These guard NPCs have absolute strength against players, and even a player with a high-level account like [Rush] would be inevitably decimated within two blows. Upon death, Qiankun characters have a certain probability of dropping gold and bound equipment, so the better the account, the larger penalty there is to dying.
The area she had stood was deserted, seemingly devoid of a third party.
But she had already repeated this sequence of actions ten times.
Ding, a notification.
[[Private Chat] Punishment: ?]
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: ?]
Mutually exchanging question marks, what polite remarks. Xiang Kui, a seasoned veteran, knew these were opening signs to a heated argument.
[[Private Chat] Punishment: Didn’t you pick a fight first? Why are you hiding? So cowardly? Why weren’t you so polite when you were trying to steal Li Li’s man?]
Xiang Kui clicked on Punishment’s equipment interface and profile card. Sure enough, he was a blond-haired, blue-eyed, adult male Tianren player, wearing a deep V-neck top that almost reached his navel, revealing a pale, firm chest and abs. In game lore, the Tianren Sect’s origins are from another land, or in real life a foreigner race. They have many skill combos and are very skill-intensive, with a high ceiling and a very low bottom line—many new players choose this class for its aesthetic appeal, only to be beaten like dogs by small beginner monsters.
Punishment’s guild is [Prairie Fire]. Warlord Li Li and Precious Little Foam are also in this guild. This assassin’s appearance was presumably to help them out.
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: Your equipment is so much better than mine, and you still want me to hand deliver it? No way right big bro? :0!]
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: A true expert must trade one for one in front of a guard!]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: No way you think me dying is worth as much as you dying? How did you know I was near you?]
Xiang Kui thought to herself, when I played assassin, who knows in what corner you were playing with piss and mud. You don’t even know how to turn off invisibility sound effects, yet you’re learning from others and joining revenge plots?
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Kui: Try guessing? /Pighead]
There was temporarily no reply from the other side.
Seeing she probably had no chance of entering a dungeon, Xiang Kui had to try another strategy. She found a party leader in the recruitment channel, dressed in ordinary medic clothes and looking simple and honest, and threw out a request for group hire.
Hiring groups were a practice where the requester would pay other members to participate, but the equipment dropped in the dungeon would be auctioned at the end as usual. The equipment for the 15-man dungeon wasn’t top-tier, so there wasn’t particularly high demand, thus most groups wouldn’t refuse.
The leader didn’t reject her request to join the party, but he didn’t immediately agree either. Instead, he added her as a private chat partner.
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: Did you not check the world channel?]
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: I suggest you switch a party. O-O]
Xiang Kui had previously blocked the world channel. Now, sure enough, she saw Punishment’s pinned announcement, saying whoever let her join their dungeon team, he’d camp out and kill them. Seeing this, she chuckled and opened another private chat window.
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: Still there?]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: ?]
She ripped open a box of chocolate-flavored Pocky, nibbling a biscuit as she typed slowly.
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: Killing a lower level with a higher level account? Where’s the fun? If you dare, fight me 1v1 fair and square. I’ve already reserved your head. /Scorn]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: ? Noob is noob, saving face for what? Even if I take off all my equipment I beat you up easily.]
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: King of big talk, huh? 1v1 duel coordinates, do you dare to come? I’m stripped down naked with just my weapons, right outside town at 10.28. I’ll wipe the floor with you in under 30 seconds. /Shakes finger]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: Do we have to go outside the town area?]
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: The safe zone has guards. Besides, what if someone from your guild hides out and secretly heals you? Stop talking nonsense. If you’re scared, just say so. I can spare you this time.]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: Me? Scared of you?? Whoever doesn’t shop up is a grandson!]
Good, lots of spirit.
Xiang Kui unblocked the world channel and sent a warm message to the previous group leader.
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: Add me to the team. No one from Prairie Fire is coming]
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: Wait. Why? What about Punishment?]
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: He’s busy. ^ ^]
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: Huh? When did he become busy? ?]
[[Private Chat] Man-Eating Sunflower: 5…]
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: What 5? /Confused]
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: 4…]
Three seconds later, a fresh yellow text message appeared on the world channel.
[[Punishment] was brutally murdered by [Crazy Wild Boar] in [Outskirts of the City]! The equipment [Bloodthirsty Dual Soldier] was dropped!]
[[World] Warlord Li Li: ?]
[[World] Confusing Behavior Award:?]
[[World] Little Precious Foam: What happened?]
[[World] Gummy Bear: A level 100 Tianren was killed by a level 15 wild boar?? Bro, how did you do that? You couldn’t possibly have taken off your equipment in the wild right? So stupid?? /Surprised]
[[World] Deer Deep in Forest: Wasn’t Punishment just camping out Goddess Bobo? Now he even lost his equipment to a horde of pigs lolololol…]
[[World] Eat My Kick: What? Are you talking about [Taro Bobo]? Is it the rich woman discussed by 29 hot topic posters on the 818 forum [exclamation mark]? That most frequent voice-changer and fake photo user with an annual VIP subscription [exclamation mark]? The hardworking genius who single-handedly cultivates an entire fish pond, that [Taro Bobo] [exclamation mark]?
[[World] Here to watch the fun: Even my fifty-year-old grandmother wouldn’t get solo-killed by a wild boar playing as a Tianren.]
[[World] Under the Bridge by the Gate: Sisters, petition to delete this notice! This can’t be our Tianren. Our Tianren Assassins should be more handsome and mysterious…]
The private chat channel buzzed.
[[Private Chat] Punishment: ??????????????]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: Did you do this on purpose?]
[[Private Chat] Punishment: What the hell?! Can you be more insidious?!]
Xiang Kui smiled wickedly.
The setting of Qiankun was also very realistic. Losing knee pads and shoulder armor was one thing, but if you were unlucky enough to have your weapon dropped upon death, most of your skills would be useless. Xiang Kui could almost hear the sound of the opponent’s angry mouse slamming. She was added to the party and was transported directly to the dungeon location.
She had already predicted Punishment would teleport straight to the coordinates she proposed. There was a swarm of red-named wild boar monsters at the exact landing spot. If Punishment appeared there stripped of everything but his weapons, who else but him would the pigs charge at?
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: /Pighead Smirk]
A truly skilled PVP player never gives the other party time to shit-talk. She blacklisted Punishment on the spot, then carefreely flicked her fan open. Amidst the vast crowd, she saw the list of group members participating in the fifteen-person dungeon.
[Warlord Li Li], [Precious Little Foam], [Rush], [Crossing Summer].
Xiang Kui, “…………”
Suddenly, the entire group fell silent.
[[Team] Warlord Li Li: 🙂 ]
[[Private Chat] Wild Female Baboon: …didn’t I tell you just now it was best to switch groups. /grievance]
————
Let’s calm down first. Xiang Kui stood at the dungeon entrance, telling herself not to panic.
Teammates can’t attack each other in a dungeon. Warlord Li Li and Little Precious Little Foam aside, she really didn’t expect to find [Rush] also in the group.
His equipment was already the latest, first-tier purple gear, so he couldn’t possibly need the drops from this dungeon. He most likely brought [Crossing Summer] along to buy gear for his beloved apprentice.
The male swordsman character stood quietly in the center of the crowd, weighing a shimmering longsword in his hand. Many people were focused on him, but he wasn’t looking at anyone else.
Not a big deal. Although she had just added [Rush] to her Enemy List yesterday, she had changed her ID right after. Furthermore, teammate relationships in dungeons wouldn’t show each other as red names, and a one-way Enemy List addition wouldn’t show up on the other party’s Enemy List. Besides, as a player with many “connections” like [Rush], he was probably too busy multitasking as a central air conditioner and wouldn’t bother paying attention to such things. Xiang Kui added a focus on [Rush].
A speaker icon appeared after the raid leader’s ID. The party leader had turned on her in-game microphone.
“Besides the two bosses who just need to come along for the ride, the rest of you have challenged this dungeon before, right? One is Summer, and the other’s Bo… uh, Kongshan Boss.”
Paying to be carried means no combat required; just lie flat and wait for the equipment auction.
[[Team] Warlord Li Li: …]
[[Team] Precious Little Foam: Hilarious.]
The fifteen-person raid chat was so quiet you could hear a pin drop; whereas, their private chats were probably going crazy. Everyone, harboring nonsensical thoughts and their own opinions on the drama, entered the dungeon, unlocked traps, and reached the first boss, Liu Xu.
The new dungeon mechanics weren’t too difficult: just follow the instructions and it would be fine. There were a few minor hiccups along the way—the tank nearly lost aggro several times due to the high instant damage dealt by the [Rush]’s attack skills, and throughout the boss battle, Xiang Kui didn’t receive a single lick of healing during the six-minute attack.
For real? Not. even. a. lick.
Even though it was a paid-for-carry dungeon, character still meant dropped equipment. Her avatar lay on the ground, staring up at the colorful skill effects, feeling sad like a little puppy just bought from Xianyu and then abandoned on the streets. She checked the profiles of the three healers and saw that, of course, they were all members of [Prairie Fire].
The boss’s health bar dropped to 2%, and it hurried away, leaving behind a treasure chest. The team leader acquired shoulder armor, which was standard equipment for players in sects using internal martial arts, that had pretty good stats.
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: 4000]
[[Team] Precious Little Foam’s Accessory: 6000]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: 8000]
[[Team] Precious Little Foam’s Accessory: P]
[[Team Tip: [Wild Female Baboon] assigned [Qilin Soft Armor] to [Man-eating Sunflower]. ]]
Xiang Kui felt something was amiss, but nothing definitive. After all, this man, who was clearly Precious Little Foam’s love interest, was from the Demonic Cult, also a sect of internal martial arts.
“Lucky luck! Another purple internal martial arts belt dropped.” After defeating the second boss, the team leader called out on the microphone, “Boss, do you want one?”
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: 3000]
[[Team] Wish to Win One’s Heart: 6000]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: 8000]
[[Team] Wish to Win One’s Heart: P]
Wish to Win One’s Heart is from a sect utilizing physical training arts. His character couldn’t even equip the belt.
As expected, from the first boss to the fifth, every piece of equipment she bid on, someone would raise the price. Each piece cost thousands of gold, and the sum of several pieces didn’t exceed thirty thousand. Xiang Kui noted down the IDs of these individuals, but she was more concerned about [Rush]’s motives.
He made zero mistakes throughout the entire battle, his DPS was stuck in second place, and he never spoke a word throughout the whole process.
What’s the situation? Being silent to put on the persona of an expert?
The last boss finally fell. The team leader reached for the treasure chest, and a purple light flashed. In addition to a limited-time accessory, a full-level self-selected treasure chest was revealed.
The accessory was a landscape fan, its handle faintly shimmering. It would look great on the slender female character. Most of the team came for this accessory, and they had agreed in advance to roll the dice and distribute the prizes based on the results. Xiang Kui didn’t have much need for the fan; she wanted the self-selected treasure chest.
In this type of situation, the treasure chest would automatically belong to either her or [Crossing Summer]. Xiang Kui switched her attention to [Rush]. [Crossing Summer] had been idle the entire time, so she probably wasn’t at her computer. She couldn’t help but wonder when this scumbag was going to make a bid…
The fan was eventually won by Precious Little Foam. The team leader cleared her throat in the voice chat, “Self-selected treasure chest. Do any bosses want it? Wait a minute while I change the allocation mode back…”
[Wild Female Baboon]’s voice abruptly cut off.
[Team Note: [Rush] has obtained the allocation rights for [Self-selected Treasure Chest·Purple Gold] with 97 valid points.]
[Team Note: [Rush] has allocated [Self-selected Treasure Chest·Purple Gold] to [Crossing Summer].]
The entire team channel was silent for three seconds.
[[Team] Everyday is Sweet: Huh?]
[[Team] Ami Tofu: Bro, you… this isn’t good…]
[[Team] Little Orange: 6] (6 or “Liu” often means “Cool.” in Chinese slang)
[[Team] Wish to Win One’s Heart: 6]
This type of treasure chest is a bound item and cannot be traded. [Rush]’s actions were usually only seen in posts about clueless newbies, and it’s the kind that would get you dozens of pages of criticism.
[Wild Female Baboon] choked, humbly turned off the microphone, and typed in the team channel:
[[Team] Wild Female Baboon: Boss Rush, that…well, that was a slip of my hand. Would you like to discuss it with Kongshan again…?]
[Rush] finally moved.
The tall, graceful white-robed swordsman swung his sword in a flower pattern, and with a clang, his blade was sheathed. His gaze slowly locked onto the Kongshan, a woman dressed in an ink-wash robe.
[[Team] [Rush]: Is there a problem?]
Xiang Kui, “………………”
Fuck.
You.
You little!
At that moment, Xiang Kui quickly flipped the little grudge book in her mind, quickly changing “[Rush] (suspended death sentence)” to: “[Rush] (immediate execution).”