Online Dating, Fooled 800 Times - Chapter 15
The day before Qixi Festival (Chinese Valentine’s Day), Lin Xi drove an hour to meet Xiang Kui for dinner.
She had long, wavy hair and wore a long dress and blouse, looking every bit the urban beauty she was. She appeared downstairs at Xiang Kui’s office, car keys dangling from her fingers. Xiang Kui breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her. Fortunately, she wasn’t dressed too casually today, otherwise they’d look like a sexy stepmother and her worthless daughter.
“The restaurant’s booked,” Lin Xi said, smiling and extending her hand. “Let’s go?”
Feeling a little awkward after not seeing each other for two months, Xiang Kui avoided her gaze and slowly put her arm around her friend’s arm before asking, “What are we having?”
A large pot of charcoal grilled meat.
Xiang Kui actually likes the taste of this restaurant, but she doesn’t know when it became popular to have the special service where the staff line up and shout “Eat meat and save the world!” when customers enter the store, and then beat drums and gongs to see them off. This makes her never want to go in.
Upon entering the store, Lin Xi followed Xiang Kui and, as expected, watched her choose the most secluded corner among the vast sea of empty seats. She couldn’t help but turn up the corner of her lips.
She and Xiang Kui had known each other for eight years, the first four purely online. It was only in the fifth year that they tentatively met in person for the first time. It immediately made her realize what it meant to “know a person’s face, but not their heart”—[Shark Xiao Kui] was a Tianren Assassin player who had long dominated the top of the old server leaderboards. A lone wolf with an aloof persona, she had countless victims under her command, and she was more verbally agile than anyone else. But in real life, she was actually a socially anxious person who had to be mentally prepared to answer calls from strangers.
At that time, they were both still in college, and Lin Xi got a preliminary understanding of how she usually made friends in the three-dimensional world. To sum it up, she started out by hunkering down in corners and relying entirely on being picked up for socializing.
“…No,” the naive Lin Xi said in disbelief as she watched Xiang Kui type “Hahahaha” on her phone with a scowl on her face. “Is this the expression you usually make when you laugh at me?”
“What?” the naive Xiang Kui said, baffled. “This is my relaxed expression.”
Lin Xi was dumbfounded. “It clearly looks like ‘Don’t come near me, I’m so annoyed!’ Okay!!”
In short, after enduring society’s harsh treatment, Xiang Kui has improved, becoming a seemingly lively and outgoing person with a hidden social anxiety disorder—and, incidentally, she still pretends not to hear unnecessary phone calls.
“Thanks to the evidence my apprentice organized, I exposed this scumbag on the forums ahead of time. There must be over a thousand replies by now.” Lin Xi snatched the boneless chicken feet from the dish in front of her and mumbled, “As for that Rush account, I’ve also inquired about it. The original owner truly broke up with his lover and decided to quit the game and sell it. The scumbag asked if it could be cheaper, but ultimately found it too expensive and bought a blank Tianwu account instead.”
To prevent this damn sea king from being reborn, Lin Xi tirelessly posted on every server forum. Xiang Kui peeked over and happened to catch a glimpse of the title of another trending post below:
[Breaking News: A top player from [Without a Pair] speaks out for the first time, kicking out toxic players and venting his anger against red names!]
Xiang Kui: “…”
Please don’t tamper with excellent traditional culture. And please don’t click on it.
“Without a Pair? Who?” Lin Xi clicked on it and immediately saw [Rush] and the [Man-eating Sunflower] lying on the ground in the game screenshot. She was stunned for a moment, then reacted after half a second. “Man-eating Sunflower, is that you?”
Xiang Kui calmly denied it: “No.”
Lin Xi, “Don’t try to trick me. I’ve always found it strange that you always deliberately cut out your ID when posting screenshots.”
Xiang Kui stubbornly resisted: “No!”
Lin Xi: “If you lie, I’ll find a way to trick you into going to Haidilao for your birthday.”
What? Such a vicious woman! Xiang Kui’s face fell: “…Maybe.”
After a three-second silence, Lin Xi laughed so hard that the whole table shook: “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”
Xiang Kui: “It was all for whom?”
Lin Xi, “…I’m sorry.”
In short, as Lin Xi’s face twisted in an effort to suppress a laugh, she reviewed the situation. “He might live not far from you, and he’s still unaware of his identity being exposed. Have you gone to the bar to ask again?”
“I went there again a few days ago, and the mysterious guest silhouette had been taken down.” Xiang Kui said solemnly, “The boss said the mystery guest has been temporarily canceled due to poor health. I’ll be notified next time.”
“Is the work intensity that high? Indeed, every industry is very competitive these days.” Lin Xi hissed, “But you didn’t see his face, so maybe he’s not as pretty as you think…”
Xiang Kui made a clasping gesture with her hands and nodded seriously.
Lin Xi understood immediately. The other party must have an incredibly good figure.
She didn’t know exactly what it was, but at least Xiang Kui seemed to really like it. After all, it had been a long time since the young lady had smiled like that.
“I understand this stuff better. Let me help you.”
Lin Xi asked her to lean closer, then launched into a fierce analysis. “First, given his current income level, money isn’t the most important thing. No matter how rich you are, can you ever be richer than him? Besides, we weren’t planning on spending that much anyway. So, what’s important is the emotional value. And you absolutely mustn’t give away any intentions towards him. With someone like that, you have to create a sense of connection, find common ground, and then, when the time is right, catch him off guard, both online and offline. He’s not feeling well, is he sick? Perfect opportunity, take advantage of his condition to take his life…”
Xiang Kui: “…”
You’re kidding.
Is there any need to be so exaggerated?
Xiang Kui believed it.
The Qixi Festival leaderboard was almost over, and the competition was already heating up. To warm up, the officials had added a number of bright red decorations to the main city map and erected a separate Magpie Bridge across the river in the back. The scene was beautifully crafted, and many people stood there adorably taking screenshots, while others even started setting off fireworks.
The planners really don’t miss any opportunity to make money. They simply changed the regular Qixi Festival fireworks into a heart shape and sold them for three times the price. Who knows who’s buying them?
[System prompt: I wish to find someone who loves me and stay together forever. [Precious Little Foam’s Pendant] fired [Deep Love] x99 at [Precious Little Foam]. Heaven and earth can bear witness to my love!]
[[Map] Precious Little Foam’s: Husband, kiss me -3-]
[[Map] Precious Little Foam’s Pendant: Wife, kiss me -3-]
So it’s you guys. And what about the sentence for using the private chat channel over there… No, that’s definitely been criticized before.
Ninety-nine heart fireworks covered the ground in the main city. The pink light blended with the fireworks, the light effect was blinding. Xiang Kui calmly stepped back a few dozen steps, out of the range of the fireworks.
While she admitted that they were indeed beautiful, she had never been the type to steal someone else’s fireworks.
[System prompt: [Warlord Li Li] requested to trade with you.]
[[Private Chat] Warlord Li Li: I just happened to find some unwanted fireworks in the warehouse. 100 gold each. Take them if you want.]
[[Private Chat] Warlord Li Li: Haha, of course these aren’t Qixi Festival fireworks. How could I possibly give you such a good deal? The special effect of these fireworks is just making your avatar spin and explode above the main city for half an hour. It’s so shabby. It just takes up memory, and I’m too lazy to yell “gg” on the public channel.]
Hey. A bit too many superfluous explanatory words. Were you just waiting for me to come online?
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: Don’t want. /shakes head]
[[Private Chat] Warlord Li Li: Huh? Why? ? This isn’t good enough? ? ?]
[[Private Chat] Man-eating Sunflower: Is this how Tari Bobo scammed you out of 18,000 yuan in two months?]
Her Kong Shan character was jumped by the other party’s enraged scallion colored female avatar and had a fried egg thrown in her face. Finding it pointless, she rode away on her horse.
Everywhere was filled with fireworks and sappy romance. Xiang Kui opened her friend list. The avatar she was heading for was lit. The location… Secret Realm Pale Faced Mirror?
This is a fun dungeon updated yesterday. It runs every Qixi Festival. It’s not difficult, but the process is quite complicated. The final boss drops a rabbit lantern and a magpie backpack. The items have no attributes and are just plain beautiful with special glowing effects.
Xiang Kui opened the recruitment interface with a startling sense of purpose. Sure enough, [Crossing Summer]’s ID suddenly appeared at the top:
[Team Recruitment: [Pale Faced Mirror] Guild Entertainment Group 9=1, No Equipment Requirements, Feel Free to join!]
When [Crossing Summer] said “anyone can join,” she meant it. Even a newbie who had just reached max level could join. After all, with [Rush]’s account, a tank, and two healers, they were enough to easily clear the dungeon. However, the minimum number of players in the dungeon was ten, so they had to gather enough players to enter.
Xiang Kui quickly sent a heart, and after clicking on the team application, she realized that this was an entertainment group run by the [Without a Pair] Guild. How could she have forgotten something important…
[System Notice: [Play Kongshan Again and I’ll Slap You] Your application has been approved.]
[[Private Chat] Play Kongshan Again and I’ll Slap You: You finally figured it out. /Lights a cigarette]
[[Private chat] Play Kongshan again, I’ll slap you: Hurry and get back together before Qixi Festival. With society so volatile these days, it’s rare to find a guy this emotionally stable and this deeply devoted.]
[[Private chat] Man-eating Sunflower: /Daze]
[[Private chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: Aren’t you here to see [Rush]? My friend told me before that he must still be obsessed with you. Look, he even made up the perfunctory excuse of being a newbie when he kicked someone out for you. /Slanting smile]
[[Private chat] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: Oh, by the way, that forum post about someone going all out in anger wasn’t mine.]
Xiang Kui: “…………”
Who asked you that?
And, she remembered.
To prevent [Rush] from using his influence as a Hall Leader, she’d been vague, making everyone in Wushuang think she was his love-hate ex—so, [Rush], why don’t you reply to the other people’s private messages!
[[Team] Crossing Summer: Welcome, welcome / Doghead holding a rose]
[[Team] Crossing Summer: It’s you! OvO Will you join YY? Everyone’s in the guild channel, it’s lively!]
[[Team] Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you: I’ll have the guild leader give her an alt. We’re all family after all~]
[[Team] Rush: ?]
Please stop talking.
Xiang Kui looked at the familiar “?” and suddenly felt guilty.
As expected of a large guild, Wushuang’s YY channel was lavishly decorated. Under the public channel, there were many exclusive sub-channels with different names. Xiang Kui entered with her newly created blank account. She hadn’t even been on the public channel for two minutes when [Crossing Summer] took her to the small room at the bottom and put a yellow vest on her.
The yellow vest granted full channel administrator privileges. Generally, being given a sub-channel administrator position in another guild was considered a high level of status.
Xiang Kui checked the online roster. Eight of the ten people had arrived. [Rush], wearing the same yellow vest, was positioned above her. The microphone icon was lit, presumably indicating a free mic.
“As usual, teleport directly to the dungeon entrance, then meet at the first boss. Take the side roads along the way to avoid picking up monsters. Those who don’t know the route can follow along.” [Crossing Summer] typed the exact words in the team chat and asked, “Xiao Kui, have you ever played this dungeon before? Do you need a guide?”
Xiang Kui turned on the microphone. “Yes. No need.”
“Okay, then please take [Rush] with you later,” [Crossing Summer] said, hurriedly leaving the YY chat room. “I’ll go pick up Yaoyao.”
One less person in the YY channel.
[Play Kongshan again and I’ll slap you] also turned their mic on: “Well, I have something to talk to someone about on the public channel. I’ll be leaving first.”
Another person gone from the YY channel.
[Ami Tofu] coughed twice. “My mom asked me to do some laundry. You guys chat first.”
Another one left.
The other five people quickly vanished. In an instant, the YY channel was empty, leaving only the yellow vests, one above and one below. [Rush] and [Man-eating Sunflower]’s IDs were intimately huddled together, and the world seemed completely silent.
Xiang Kui, wearing headphones, suddenly felt a little uneasy and anxiously pulled on the ends of her hair.
In her fragile and delicate social boundaries, text communication is different from voice communication, and voice communication is completely different from real-time conversation. The former two can give her enough time to think and organize how to express herself, making her feel safe, but the latter cannot, so she has always preferred text conversation.
Real-time conversations also had different levels of intimacy. For example, with a close friend who knew her completely, she could calmly choose the most comfortable spot in the corner; but with a stranger, she would simply smile and ask where they wanted to sit.
The quiet atmosphere of being alone with someone she didn’t know well was almost unbearable, making Xiang Kui’s scalp tingle.
But it was okay.
[Rush] didn’t seem to want to talk either.
Just as she was thinking this, she heard a subtle scraping sound from the other end of the headset and the muffled thud of a cup tapping on the table. The person on the other end returned to the table, seemingly noticing only two people left on the list. He murmured softly, “Hmm?” and then said, “Man-eating Sunflower?”
Xiang Kui felt her head and scalp go numb.
To be fair, [Rush]’s voice was pleasant, clear and melodious, and his pronunciation was crisp and clear. There was a slight nasal twang at the end of his sentences, but it didn’t affect him much.
Oh, the boss lady said he’d suddenly been feeling unwell. It looked like he had a cold, so his nasal tone was a bit strong.
…But somehow, it still felt strangely familiar, as if she’d heard it somewhere in the past few days.
[Man-eating Sunflower: 1]
“Typing?” [Rush] took a sip of water. Who knows where he’d bought the microphone, but it picked up the throaty sound of his swallowing. He mumbled, “Why aren’t you talking?”
[Man-eating Sunflower: The mic’s broken. /Lovely]
“Broken?” His voice rose. “When did it break?”
[Man-eating Sunflower: It broke a long time ago.]
“Yeah.” [Rush] said calmly. “Just a reminder, I left after the leader.”
Xiang Kui: “…”
Careless!
Yue Qing looked at the frantically flashing microphone icon behind Man-eating Sunflower’s ID and felt like laughing.
She could send him WeChat messages with five emojis in every sentence, and can type ten words per second while dead and trolling people in the map channel. Now, she finally knew to say his microphone was broken.
Does she feel that guilty?
“The leader asked us to assemble.” The other party quickly turned on the microphone, as if nothing had happened. “You haven’t played this dungeon before, have you?”
“No.”
The Kongshan Sect female circled around the sword cultivator like she had ADHD, suddenly pulling out a white horse in bright red harness and standing still.
[System prompt: [Man-eating Sunflower] has sent you a double-rider invitation.]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: /Hold out elbow! /Sunglasses]
Yue Qing glanced at the YY channel. The small microphone icon behind Man-eating Sunflower disappeared again. He raised an eyebrow, figuring the other party must be a little uncomfortable. He clicked to agree to the dual riding and turned off his own microphone.
The event dungeon was set on a cherry blossom island. Pink petals drifted across the mountain, drifting away on the flowing water. The white-haired swordsman silently sheathed his weapon and leaped onto his horse. His strong arms wrapped around the woman’s side, their hair mingling, a look of intimate companionship.
Yue Qing dismounted urgently.
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower:?]
[[Team] Rush:?]
He had only ever led Yue Xia’s dual riding before, and her character was lolita-sized, very unremarkable. But now, why would they engage in such an intimate relationship for no reason?
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: Hello? Hello? What’s wrong with Horsey Taxi? (˙-˙)凸]
[[Team] Rush: …Put your middle finger back where it belongs.]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: It only looks like a middle finger, but it’s not. It’s a spark. It represents my passionate spirit.]
[[Team] Rush: Come down, I’ll lead you.]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: Seriously? Don’t you know where to go? O.o]
[[Team] Rush: I only said I haven’t played it before, not that I don’t read guides.]
He clicked “Ride.” A black horse, its hooves treading the snow, galloped over from a distance, its head bowed meekly.
[System prompt: [Man-eating Sunflower] has accepted your invitation to ride together.]
The long-robed Kongshan female swiftly mounted the horse, her hands clasping the muscular waist of the swordsman in front of her, and gently pressed her cheek against his back. Amidst the dancing flowers, the two of them clung to each other, like a pair of peerless lovers…
Xiang Kui was hurriedly kicked off.
She stood in a daze not far from the entrance, watching the blue dots representing her teammates on the minimap gather. She was immediately confused:
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower:?]
[[Team] Rush: It’s okay. Let’s go.]
What’s this? An up-and-down horse show? Xiang Kui frowned and typed quickly:
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: What’s wrong? /Surprised]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: Did I light the flame too brightly and accidentally burn your butt? (˙-˙) 凸]
[[Team] Man-eating Sunflower: Or maybe this road isn’t smooth enough…]
Wait, halfway through the fight, Xiang Kui suddenly remembered that she owed [Rush] 88 times and immediately tried to redeem herself:
Just kidding. If you don’t want a horse, I still have a sedan chair—
A clear, clear voice suddenly rang through the headset, “Man-eating Sunflower.”
Xiang Kui was terrified: “!!!”
“Stop typing.” [Rush] seemed in a good mood. “Come on the microphone and tell me, what did you use to burn my butt?”
Xiang Kui: “…”
There was nothing like being called out by the homeroom teacher suddenly through the window. She couldn’t even open her mouth; she choked.
By the time she realized what was happening, the silence had lasted for several full seconds, completely foreshadowing a tragic outcome.
“…Oh.” The man on the other end of the line was clearly trying to contain his laughter. As if he were seriously reporting some news, he slowly and jokingly stated, “It seems someone is shy.”