Online Dating, Fooled 800 Times - Chapter 1
Xiang Kui and Yue Qing became acquainted through a complete, braindead misunderstanding.
She still remembered how it all began: with her friend Lin Xi’s phone call. Xiang Kui had been zoning out, staring at the Qiankun Online login screen, when a WeChat voice message from her friend popped up. The crying on the other end made her head spin.
“Xiao Kui, you have to help me. I think I’ve been played!”
From her friend’s fragmented voice messages, Xiang Kui pieced together the ins and outs of the situation.
It was a rather clichéd story. Lin Xi had recently met a cool and aloof player online. He was skilled at operating, had a taciturn personality, and his in-game character had a classically appealing outfit. He had single-handedly brought Lin Xi’s Arena ranking to 12th, then disappeared with no strings attached.
“The moment he started talking on the microphone, I felt like I was in love,” Lin Xi reminisced. “You don’t know how beautiful his voice is. Have you ever heard of a subwoofer?”
“You said your last date also had a deep voice,” Xiang Kui replied calmly. “But when you exchanged photos, you said you thought you’d accidentally seen the Michelin Man.”
“…” Lin Xi replied, “No, he’s different from the last one! Listen to me first!”
What can possibly be new about online romances? Most of these kinds of relationships go through the same old routine. In short, Lin Xi added the other person’s contact information, initially hoping to gain a new connection. Then for two weeks nonstop, her and the other party chatted all day and night, rapidly developing their relationship at a promising pace.
On the first day, he was pretty distant, replying to her messages with a single “1.” (note: in chinese this is a common way to respond meaning “understood” or “read”)
On the second day, he said he was busy with work and told her not to contact him unless it was important.
On the fourth day, he liked a photo Lin Xi posted on WeChat Moments.
On the sixth day, they started saying “good morning” and “good night” to one another and sharing music playlists.
On the eighth day, he said phrases like, “What do I do? I care about you so much,” “You’re so special,” and “I like you.”
On the tenth day, he claimed saying “baby” to each other didn’t suit his personality, and he just wanted to take this relationship seriously.
On the twelfth day, he asked, “Wifey, baby have you woken? Login quickly! qwq.”
“I thought we were already boyfriend and girlfriend. How could he hook up with my little female apprentice behind my back?” Lin Xi loudly sniffled. “When we first started talking, someone PMed me calling him a scumbag, but I didn’t believe it. Now it seems they were right.”
That “apprentice” of hers was just a high school girl, and thus had no resistance to the charms of a skillful player with a well-designed character. Logically, as a working adult, Lin Xi shouldn’t have had any hostility towards such a young, inexperienced girl. But a few days ago, on her apprentice’s birthday, her boyfriend spent a small fortune on a new outfit for the girl and even set off fireworks in the public server. The female apprentice was so moved she almost wanted to marry him on the spot. Meanwhile, Lin Xi’s private chat channel exploded even more fiercely than the virtual fireworks.
Lin Xi went to confront him, and the “aloof” man, using his usual deep bass voice, delivered the most iconic response, “Don’t misunderstand. She’s so young. I just treat her like a younger sister.”
Lin Xi exclaimed emotionally, “You tell me, isn’t he going too far?”
Xiang Kui, “…”
Is that man a rapper or something? Why does he use so few words in every sentence?
She kept mumbling “Really?”, “How could that be!”, “That’s too much!” into the voice chat as she typed in her new account and password, comparing them to the numbers sent in the original owner’s chat. With a crisp sound, the login screen dissolved and the game background came to life. A slender female avatar from the Kongshan sect appeared in the center of the screen, holding an ink-wash fan.
Qiankun Online is a large-scale, ancient-style MMORPG with a large and active player base, the vast majority of whom are university students and working professionals. The first half of the year marked the game’s tenth anniversary, and the company added six new servers, one of which is named “Chivalrous and Soft-Hearted,” where this account is based.
Xiang Kui had bought this account online. While there weren’t a ton of skins in the inventory, the collection accessories and pets were pretty substantial. As for updated equipment, Xiang Kui could simply acquire it by running a few more dungeons. It was an account with decent value, and she hypothesized the reason no one had bought it was probably because the Kongshan sect character mechanics were difficult to play this season. Anyway, Xiang Kui bought it without too many requirements, and after a week of processing the purchase, the account was officially linked to her ID.
Formally logging in, her character appeared quietly on the deserted shore of Weak Water Island, bathed in dim light.
Lin Xi could still be heard grumbling on the other end, “According to reliable sources, my shameless bastard partner and my apprentice secretly bought accounts together and moved to a new server where they’re acting all lovey dovey… Damn, am I just an obstacle in the way of their master-disciple play?”
Friends list, empty.
Enemy list, empty.
The profile card was blank, the relationship panel clear. Only a few dozen gold remained in her character backpack, and all that remained were gray items she couldn’t even sell. She was not affiliated with any guild, and the original owner had even thoughtfully left a name change card.
The account transition was going smoothly without any visible red flags. Before Xiang Kui and the original account owner deleted each other’s contacts, the other party even sent her a heartfelt message:
[Taro Bo Bo: I’ve left you a little surprise. I wish you all the best in this beautiful Jianghu! /Cute emoticon/Rose emoticon]
It was currently peak gaming time, and the World Channel was bustling with unfamiliar IDs. Xiang Kui, who hadn’t played the Kongshan sect before, adjusted the original keybindings to suit her own preference, nodding along to Lin Xi’s complaints, “Yes, yes, that’s too much…”
Suddenly, yellow text flashed on the loudspeaker.
[[All Server Loudspeaker] Rouge Button: Does anyone have any leads on Shark Xiao Kui (ID=6814026, Heavenly Ninja Sect) from the “Snow Lion Passion” server? Which server are they currently on? A five million gold reward.]
Five million gold was equivalent to fifty thousand yuan in RMB. Server wide announcement was instantly followed by a dozen copy-paste “Rich Woman, please raise me” messages. Xiang Kui’s cursor paused for a moment on the loudspeaker, then calmly blocked the World Channel.
“Online dating is pretty unreliable,” she consoled her friend. “If they’re gone then they’re gone. I’m sure the next one will be a good boy.”
“Blind dates aren’t much better,” Lin Xi sighed. “Online SO’s are ugly, but at least there’s something to talk about. Blind dates are ugly, but there’s nothing to talk about.”
Xiang Kui, “…” Did someone hold a gun to your head and force you to choose between those two options?
Lin Xi, unusually sensitive to her silence, asked suspiciously, “Are you secretly complaining about me again?”
“Of course not!” Xiang Kui paused, dragging her finger down the skill icon. “You just said that the scumbag and your apprentice went to a new server behind your back? Which server?”
“Unlucky coincidence,” Lin Xi paused, checking the name. “Chivalrous and Soft-Hearted.”
Xiang Kui, slightly speechless, responded, “I know what you wanted to talk to me about.”
“You bought an account on a new server and refuse to tell me your ID. How heartless!” Lin Xi cleared her throat. “People are now calling Qiankun Online Home Online of the Century. You’ve been playing for eight years and you’re still so lonesome. I have to find you something to do. Besides, that little apprentice completely won’t listen to me, her master, anymore. I’m really afraid she’ll buy a plane ticket any day and run off to meet that scumbag offline.”
Xiang Kui glanced at her outdated gear on her profile card, then glanced at the faction map. She decided to do some daily quests to earn some points.
“I don’t have time,” she shut her friend down ruthlessly. “I need to play ranked.”
Lin Xi, “Are we friends? Are we sisters? Are we willing to go through thick and thin together? Are we willing to die for each other?”
“Stop trying to goad me. I won’t fall for it.” Xiang Kui pressed the spacebar hard. “…Send me his ID.”
This month’s daily quest was to escort a large convoy. The Weak Water Island map was the quest location. Xiang Kui used a teleport flag and teleported directly to the NPC who issued the quest. It just happened that Guild Warfare was happening at this point in time, so the screen was sparsely populated with avatars. Xiang Kui lightly appeared, and many people turned to observe her.
She was still using the previous owner’s ID, [Taro Bo Bo], and hadn’t decided what to change it to yet. With a brief glance at the surroundings, she noted that as expected of a new server, many masters had brought their apprentices along to familiarize themselves with the new quests.
The Weak Water Island map was poorly lit with dim surroundings. The most eye-catching character in the crowd was probably a Tianwu Jiange Sect character. Compared to the other avatars’ colorful, limited-edition mounts and pets with various lighting effects, the Swordsman character was far simpler: dressed in white, with his black hair tied up, and looking simple and cool. He would be unremarkable—if he weren’t carrying the level 16 Heavenly-grade weapon on his back.
There are fewer than ten of these in the entire server, and acquiring one required luck and cost a fortune. This Heavenly-grade weapon, unattainable by ordinary people, had a golden light effect so bright that it practically dazzled Xiang Kui’s eyes even through the screen.
The ID was [Rush], and next to him on his horse mount, sat a young woman from the Bodybuilding Sect, her legs crossed. Her ID was [Crossing Summer], and her character was wearing the latest limited-edition costume from the game store. The two of them were seated intimately, and their profile card listed their relationship as [Master and Apprentice].
Xiang Kui watched the two riding together behind the convoy and nudged her character a few steps forward to keep them in frame.
Lin Xi smiled apologetically, “I’m not sure what ID he changed to, but I know he bought it from a Tianwu Jiange Sect member. He’s currently online, and so is his apprentice. Her real name should have the character ‘Summer’ in it, but everyone calls her ‘Little Summer’.”
Ehh?
A swordsman character and an ID with the character “Summer”?
“…Wait a minute.” Xiang Kui leaned forward, her brows furrowing. “Does that apprentice play a character from the Bodybuilding Sect?”
Lin Xi was stunned.
“How did you know?”
Xiang Kui, “All white outfit? High ponytail? A pet duck with big feet?”
Lin Xi, “You also know this?!”
“Well,” Xiang Kui put her soda can on the table and coughed softly. “I think I just saw them.”
She made sure to turn down the volume on her headphones, and sure enough, Lin Xi’s voice immediately rose. “For real?! How could it be such a coincidence? Take a screenshot and show me!”
They ended the call. Xiang Kui took a screenshot of her PC screen and sent it over. Lin Xi’s tone was audibly agitated.
[Lin Xi: That ID just screams scumbag, and that outfit that looks like it’s been worn out for ten relationships. I’m telling you, nine out of ten people wearing that outfit are bastards, and the remaining one is a woman playing a male character. This new server hasn’t been open for long, and there are only a couple of people with heavenly-level weapons. It can’t be such a coincidence, right? And with a Bodybuilding Sect disciple. Ha. That disciple only knows how to play characters from the Bodybuilding Sect, so who else could it be if not them?]
[Lin Xi: The plan to save a poor ignorant girl has begun! Don’t let them get away!]
Xiang Kui had an inkling that Lin Xi didn’t actually like the guy that much. After all, social animals like her friend always found everyday life too monotonous, and she figured Lin Xi was just seeking stimulation.
Xiang Kui had just arrived at the new server, and had previously always done her own thing in game. Associating with a scumbag character that had the personality of a player seemed like trouble.
[Xiang Kui: Are you sure it’s him?]
[Lin Xi: It’s definitely him. If it’s not I’ll swim butterfly stroke, drink sewer water, and streak across town! >:((((]
From outside her apartment, the blazing sun shone through the window, creating vibrant patterns on the tiled floor. Xiang Kui took a deep breath, smelling the slightly dry, cool air of the air conditioner. She felt as if her brain had also suffered from a heat stroke along with the summer heat.
To reiterate, Xiang Kui and Yue Qing’s acquaintance was a mistaken encounter due to a baffling series of events.
If she could go back in time, she would never have said, “Let’s discuss this later,” only for her hand to slip and turn on PK mode.
[System prompt: To quench your hatred, draw your sword and slay your enemies. You have added [Rush] to your Enemy List!]
It was then that Xiang Kui suddenly remembered that she was no longer the highly mobile, high-damage, and stealthy Tianren Sect Assassin, but a fragile, stationary Kongshan Sect damage dealer. It’s commonly said that “teaming up with a dog is better than teaming up with a Kongshan player”.
After being added to someone’s Enemy List, the target would also receive a notification. [Rush] paused and turned back, seemingly confused, but made no move to dismount as if unfazed by a surprise attack. Xiang Kui had seamlessly hidden herself in the crowd. Seeing that he didn’t move, she rubbed her chin and thought, Whatever, I’ve already added him as an enemy. May as well give it a try.
But she hadn’t expected that her single, maximum-damage skill would barely be a tickle, reducing the opponent’s health bar by only 5%. That would have been fine, but in that instant, five healing skills landed on [Rush]’s body in a light display of fireworks. Simultaneously, the IDs of at least a dozen surrounding healers all turned red.
After entering combat, players on the same team as the target on your Enemy List automatically become hostile.
Xiang Kui, “?”
Did her vision fail?
[Lin Xi: So how about it? Have you righteously questioned him? Have you taught him a lesson yet?]
Xiang Kui skillfully disappeared before [Rush] could find her, a single thought running through her mind:
Just doing a couple dailies and teaming up with 15 healers??
Being this scared of dying…If I hit him a couple times he will probably cry for a long time?