My Straight Girlfriend with Skin Hunger Syndrome - Chapter 52
Chapter 52
Actually, you’re the only one with a problem. Everyone else is fine.
Because these emotions and secrets belong solely to you.
Your joy and pain are yours alone. Your secret affection for someone has given you a lonely planet, one that belongs only to you.
On your planet, you’ve witnessed countless sunrises and sunsets, watched flowers bloom and trees sprout new buds.
You’ve seen torrential rain soak everything through, only to reveal a rainbow afterward.
Perhaps one day, you’ll grow wings and leave this planet.
But until then, gravity holds you tightly, bound to its surface. You cannot escape.
And you don’t want to.
Ying Yuan remained silent for a long moment before replying to Qi Hongyue with a single sentence: “As long as it doesn’t affect you all, that’s all that matters.”
Qi Hongyue gazed at her, her brow furrowing slightly, then suddenly reached out and gently ruffled Ying Yuan’s hair.
They didn’t discuss the matter further.
After finishing the meeting and tidying up the Activity Room, it was already past ten o’clock.
As Ying Yuan walked back to the dormitory, she sent a message to Yi Shanshan: Are you asleep yet? How are you feeling? No fever, right?
Yi Shanshan didn’t reply. Even after Ying Yuan returned to her dorm, showered, and lay down in bed, she still hadn’t received a new message from Yi Shanshan.
She must be asleep, Ying Yuan reasoned.
Many cold medicines contain sedatives, precisely to encourage rest and recovery.
Though Ying Yuan tried to rationalize this, a persistent unease and worry lingered.
So much had happened in the past half-day, her emotions had been on a wild rollercoaster. Yet even now, all that tumultuousness couldn’t outweigh this gnawing anxiety.
Her bottom line seems to have sunk to… As long as Yi Shanshan is healthy, safe, and happy, that’s all that matters.
The next morning, Ying Yuan’s eyes flew open, and she immediately checked her phone.
Still no new messages.
She got up, tidied herself, and brushed her teeth, not thinking about what she would eat for breakfast, but wondering what Yi Shanshan would eat.
Will she have any appetite? Will it be inconvenient to order food? Lin Feng should be there, right? Did Lin Feng remember to use hot water for the powder?
Before leaving her dorm, Ying Yuan glanced at her phone one last time.
It wasn’t even seven yet; most students were probably still asleep.
Mao Mao and Xiaohan were certainly still asleep, since they had to get up early for their eight a.m. class.
Today was Friday. Did Yi Shanshan have class?
Yi Shanshan was sick—would she still go to class?
Yi Shanshan filled Ying Yuan’s mind, Yi Shanshan hung heavy on Ying Yuan’s heart.
Just before eight, Ying Yuan finally received a reply from Yi Shanshan.
It was a voice message.
Ying Yuan took out her earphones and put them in.
Yi Shanshan’s voice was muffled and hazy: “I slept like a log, but my head’s still fuzzy. I think my fever might spike tonight.”
Students began trickling into the classroom as class was about to start. Ying Yuan’s fingers flew across the screen, firing off a barrage of worried questions:
What did the doctor say?
Does your throat still hurt? Is your stuffy nose any better?
Are you skipping class today?
Are you alone? Is Lin Feng there?
Did you eat much for dinner last night?
If it gets worse, should you get an IV? It’ll help you recover faster.
She didn’t want to flood Yi Shanshan with question marks, appearing too anxious and impolite. But she couldn’t be sure if Yi Shanshan would check her messages again anytime soon, or when she might reply next.
The teacher walked to the podium, signaling the official start of class.
Yi Shanshan, meanwhile, had just begun responding to Ying Yuan’s messages. She sent voice notes, some long, some short. Ying Yuan glanced up at the teacher, but didn’t remove her earbuds.
This was one of the few times Ying Yuan let her mind wander during class.
The answers she’d been waiting for all night regarding Yi Shanshan flooded her mind more quickly than the lecture material, bringing her a sense of satisfaction and joy.
Since Yi Shanshan wasn’t in class, Ying Yuan and Yi Shanshan continued their intermittent conversation.
Suddenly, they seemed to have endless topics to discuss: her illness, video games, Qi Hongyue, even Lin Feng.
When Ying Yuan mentioned the team-building event, Yi Shanshan immediately replied excitedly, “I’m in!”
She followed up with a long voice note: “I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go! I want to hang out with everyone from the Project Team! Every time we get together, it’s just for meetings—we’ve never actually hung out! I wanna have fun!”
Her voice rose sharply, sounding as if her hoarseness had vanished. She seemed genuinely full of energy.
Ying Yuan: But they’re planning it for the Dragon Boat Festival holiday. A lot of people will be studying for exams in June, so it’s not really a convenient time.
Yi Shanshan: The Dragon Boat Festival holiday starts… tomorrow?
Ying Yuan: Yeah, and you’re still sick…
Yi Shanshan: I’m not sick anymore! I’ll get better right away! A little cold can’t stop me! Besides, the holiday is three days long—couldn’t we move the event to the day after tomorrow?
Ying Yuan: It’s not finalized yet. I’ll ask the Team Leader.
Yi Shanshan: Ying Yuan, you’re definitely going, right?
Ying Yuan paused, her finger hovering over the chat box. She didn’t type anything for a long moment.
Class had ended, two long lectures already completed.
The phone in her palm felt slightly warm. The classroom emptied quickly, soon leaving only a few stragglers behind.
Noonday sunlight streamed through the windows, bathing the entire room in bright light.
The breeze billowed the pale blue curtains like ocean waves.
Her phone vibrated, the caller ID displaying that shining star.
It seemed to gently bounce on the tip of Ying Yuan’s heart.
She answered the call. Before she could speak, Yi Shanshan’s voice filled her ear.
Ying Yuan, Ying Yuan, Ying Yuan~~~ Yi Shanshan drawled, her voice soft and sweet, dripping with coquettishness. The Project Team rarely organizes events—you’re not going to miss this one, are you~~~?
“If you don’t go, what am I supposed to do? I’ve only been here a short time, and you’re the person I know best. Without you, I’d feel so awkward~
“Awkward eating, awkward playing—everyone will stick with their closest friends, and I’ll be left out~
“And even if I try my best to get better quickly, I won’t feel completely comfortable right after recovering. If I want some hot water or something to eat, there’ll be no one to help me~
“Waaah… but I really want to go have fun! Just thinking about playing with you all gives me hope in life…”
By the time Yi Shanshan had spoken her third sentence, Ying Yuan already had a firm answer in her heart.
She held this answer like a piece of candy hidden in her palm.
Ying Yuan clasped her hands behind her back, savoring Yi Shanshan’s performance.
Every word Yi Shanshan uttered was like the whimpering of a spoiled puppy, so adorable it made Ying Yuan’s heart tremble.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Yi Shanshan, having delivered her one-sided monologue, began to grumble at Ying Yuan. “My mouth is parched from talking so much! You’re so stingy with your words—is this your idea of the silent treatment?”
Ying Yuan’s voice held a hint of amusement. “I couldn’t find a chance to interrupt.”
Yi Shanshan: “……”
Yi Shanshan: “So you think I talk too much?”
Yi Shanshan: “If you keep this up, I’m going to ignore you, you know. I’m perfectly capable of giving you the silent treatment too.”
Yi Shanshan: “I’m going to ice you out for… um, today, tomorrow, and the day after… Wait, what time are we leaving the day after tomorrow?”
Ying Yuan: “If we want to have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves, we should leave early.”
Yi Shanshan: “How early? Ah, I’m so worried I won’t be able to wake up… This cold medicine is making me all groggy. Even my alarm won’t rouse me…”
“Shanshan,” Ying Yuan suddenly called her name.
Yi Shanshan paused, her voice tightening slightly as she replied, “Huh?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up. I won’t let you be late.” Ying Yuan’s tone was gentle, almost tender.
Yi Shanshan’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Are you… going?”
Ying Yuan took out the candy. “Yes, I’m going.”
Silence fell on the other end of the line.
Yi Shanshan went quiet, lost in thought.
Ying Yuan could only hear her soft breathing, each breath brushing against her ear, one after another.
Neither of them hung up.
After a long silence, Yi Shanshan said, “Then I’ll leave it all to you…”
Ying Yuan: “Mm.”
Yi Shanshan: “Setting the date and time, deciding where to go, figuring out what to bring… I don’t want to worry about any of it. I’ll leave it all to you too…”
Ying Yuan: “Okay.”
Yi Shanshan: “But if any problems come up, you have to call me.”
Ying Yuan: “Mm.”
Yi Shanshan: “I don’t know what Qi Hongyue has planned on her end. I…”
Ying Yuan rarely interrupted her, but this time she cut in, “Don’t worry, Shanshan. Just focus on getting better. We’ll have a wonderful trip.”
“Waa…” Yi Shanshan suddenly choked up, wanting to say something but unable to get the words out.
Before Ying Yuan could ask what was wrong, she hung up.
As the call ended, a new message popped up on her phone:
Yi Shanshan: I’m just a bit moody from the medication. Don’t mind me.
This time, Ying Yuan sent her a voice message: You have to remember to eat when you take your medicine, or it’ll upset your stomach. What do you want for dinner tonight? I’ll pick it up after class this afternoon.
Yi Shanshan: No need to buy any. I’m going to the hospital tonight for an IV drip. This afternoon, I need to work on homework—I still have two papers to submit.
Ying Yuan: Just tell me if you need anything.
Yi Shanshan sent a playful cat emoji: I need you to write my papers for me.
Ying Yuan didn’t even blink: Send me the topics and requirements. A reference list would be even better.
Yi Shanshan: Ying Yuan, are you crazy?
Yi Shanshan: I’m going to write my own papers.
Yi Shanshan: You already have so much on your plate! Qi Hongyue is treating you like a workhorse.
Yi Shanshan: If she doesn’t give you a massive bonus, I’ll be the first to protest!
Ying Yuan smiled.
Yi Shanshan’s messages were both sweetly obedient and wildly audacious.
She could picture Yi Shanshan’s expressions perfectly—whether smiling or playfully furrowing her brow, she was always utterly endearing.
Ying Yuan wanted to protect that endearing quality.
If the pain and bitterness were hers alone to bear, then what harm could there be in letting Yi Shanshan be happy?
Ying Yuan recalled that time at the karaoke bar when Lina had asked her about what it meant to feel a spark, what it meant to like someone, and what it meant to love them.
Lina had said, “There’s a vast distance between a spark and genuine affection. A spark might be a fleeting moment, a single spark, but liking someone is all-encompassing—from dawn till dusk.”
Day and night, Ying Yuan’s thoughts were consumed by Yi Shanshan.
Even if it meant hurting herself, Ying Yuan couldn’t bear the thought of hurting Yi Shanshan again.
Ying Yuan was like a frog that had been soaked in warm water, scalded in boiling water, and frozen in ice water… yet she still hadn’t lost that initial spark for Yi Shanshan, and it only grew stronger.
I think I really do like Yi Shanshan now, Ying Yuan realized.
The moment she acknowledged this, Ying Yuan felt neither sadness nor heartache.
First time is a fluke, second time is familiar, she thought. I’ve been forged in fire and become invulnerable to poison.
Her phone buzzed twice—another message from Yi Shanshan.
The password to my apartment is still my birthday.
I want to change it, but I keep forgetting the new one.
Next time you come over, help me change it. You can remember it for me.
If I can’t go home, I’ll come find you.