My Landlord is an Idol Singer - Chapter 166

“Hello, Gu Zhinan.”

Even though he knew the young man already knew his name and had it down, Gu Zhinan still politely reached out his hand, he just emphasized the “Zhinan” a little when he said it.

“Just call me Xiao Li!” Xiao Li enthusiastically pushed Gu Zhinan into the car, hopped in himself, shut the door, and told the driver to go.

“So it’s like this, Master Gu—” 

“Just call me Zhinan.” 

“Alright, Bro Straight-Man.” 

“?” Gu Zhinan stared at Xiao Li speechlessly, then patted his shoulder with mock seriousness. “Xiao Li, you read my Legend of Sword and Fairy?”

The name lit Xiao Li up. “Yes! I love it! Whenever I have time I check for new chapters. I’ve read the earlier chapters several times, I went through them word for word!”

“Oh? Which character do you like?” Gu Zhinan smiled, as if discussing the story with him.

“Drunken Sword Immortal! Everyone likes Li Xiaoyao, but I like Drunken Sword Immortal! He’s all about righteous deeds and living free, way more carefree than Li Xiaoyao! Besides, he’s the protagonist’s master!”

Xiao Li went a little dreamy, murmuring the lines, “Sword rides the wind, banishing demons in the world; with wine I roam carefree; without wine I am still mad!” Now that’s the xianxia spirit!”

Hearing Xiao Li talk with that expression, Gu Zhinan felt a little sorry, this kid was just like Du Xiaoyan, an absolute fangirl-fanboy: whoever he liked, that character was doomed.

“Bro Straight-Man.”

“You’d better call me Teacher Gu…”

“Oh, Teacher Gu, will Drunken Sword Immortal show up again? What happens to him?”

“Uh… he lives out his days carefree.” That was all Gu Zhinan could say.

“Great, carefree! Stay true to your roots; that’s the immortal way!” 

“If it makes you happy…” Gu Zhinan silently thought.

“Oh! I almost forgot the important bit. When we get to the hotel, you’ll have to wear this headpiece. And it’s better not to speak at all, there may be people camping outside taking photos. If you blurt something and expose yourself, it won’t be worth it.” Xiao Li produced a schedule and went through Gu Zhinan’s plan for the next two days.

“Rest tonight. Tomorrow we’ve got a studio reserved for Teacher Gu to practice the song you’ll perform.” Xiao Li said it without missing a beat, as if the thing he almost blurted earlier never happened.

“Understood.” Gu Zhinan nodded. Play dumb, warm up, go on stage, mess around a bit, take the money and go home, that was his strategy.

“Hey, Teacher Gu, what will you sing? Summer Wind or that new love song? Xia An’ge sang that and nearly made me cry, it’s so immersive!” Xiao Li, a born people-person, had already slid into the role of impromptu manager.

“Uh, probably not those two.”

“Good, otherwise if you advance they’ll guess who you are.” Xiao Li nodded.

“So what, then? Old song rearrangement? Or something brand new?”

“You’ll see when the time comes.” Gu Zhinan left him hanging.

The car pulled into the underground parking of a five-star hotel near the Hangcheng TV station. Xiao Li handed over the headpiece and Gu Zhinan’s face twitched. It was a silicone frog-head mask, utterly ridiculous once you put it on.

“Do you have an Iron Man mask? Or Spider-Man?”

“What… man?”

“…never mind. You didn’t grow up with Marvel.”

There was no Marvel world here. Resigned, Gu Zhinan put on the frog head. Luckily it didn’t block his sight.

“We’ll enter quietly, but there might be reporters lurking, so just follow me and don’t speak.” 

The frog nodded.

Xiao Li opened the car door and led Gu Zhinan into the hotel elevator. Up to the 20th floor, then to the door of a room. Xiao Li swiped a card and let him in. “All right, you can take the headpiece off now, but don’t go out into the hallway. If you need anything, tell me and I’ll bring it.”

“How considerate.”

“It’s the rules, otherwise you might get exposed. Contestants are being placed in rooms above and below you.” 

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry about the novel updates either, I’ll remind you! Legend of Sword and Fairy still needs a chapter!” Xiao Li said with a grin. Finally he could push the real-world update pressure. He’d worked hard to become Gu Zhinan’s temporary assistant after hearing Lin Xi had invited him.

“Xiao Li, I have a request.”

“Huh?” Xiao Li looked confused but nodded.

“What request?” 

“I want an assistant who’s a girl and who hasn’t read Legend of Sword and Fairy.” Gu Zhinan said it with a deadpan face. “Is that allowed?”

Xiao Li scratched his head, chuckled awkwardly, and walked out the door. “Nope!”

“…You said any request.” Gu Zhinan smirked. The hotel was just fine. After all, when he asked Lai Jingming how much the hotels cost, he had said 1,800 a night and Gu Zhinan had gone numb.

He checked his phone. A message from the landlady, Xia An’ge, said she’d arrived in Haipu and asked if he’d reached the recording location. He’d just replied when someone knocked at the door.

Could the sharp-tongued, soft-hearted Lin Xi really have swapped out his assistant? Before he could open, the door opened itself; Gu Zhinan scowled, he didn’t like people having extra key cards opening his door unannounced.

“Zhinan!” Lin Xi pushed into the room with a smiling Xiao Li following. “Finally you’re here!”

“Bro Lin.” Gu Zhinan returned the greeting.

“I was worried you’d stand me up at noon, you’ve got a habit!”

“Once or twice,” Gu Zhinan said, rubbing his nose.

“All right, comfortable staying here? Most contestants have arrived. I’m here to explain the rules.” Lin Xi sat on the sofa, Gu Zhinan sat beside him.

“So?”

“Starting the day after tomorrow we begin recording. Mornings you can spend in the studio; the whole afternoon will be livestreamed. Inside the venue there will be 500 professional judges. From round four onward we’ll pick some expert-level audience members watching the live stream for external votes. There are five of us judges, famous musicians and veteran singers; I’m one of them.” 

Lin Xi pointed to himself with a smile.

“I won’t disclose your identity. After you sing, the 500 in-house reviewers will vote, each of their votes counts as four. Then our judges vote; one judge’s vote equals ten. Judges have commentary power. If all five judges vote for you, even if your total vote count is lower you can still be matched against the bottom contestant for advancement. The first round tomorrow will have ten people and we’ll cut from ten to eight, that shouldn’t stress you too much, right?”

“I’ll do my best. I don’t plan to brag.” Gu Zhinan chose to play it cool.

“You should still think of something attention-grabbing to say. Remember the ‘gimmick’ I mentioned? It’s like pre-match trash talk: draw attention and you can get a revival if you’re eliminated.”

Lin Xi smiled mysteriously.

“Before the show recordings start, you’ll have that attention moment. The more attention your trash talk gets, the more people notice you; if you’re eliminated, the off-site audience vote can revive you.”

“A revival coin, huh.” Gu Zhinan got it, they were boosting popularity. If he bombed, he might get another chance. Then, if that failed, twice embarrassed.

“So think about what to say. Practice your song tomorrow. By the way, what will you sing? I’ll help you with arrangement notes, that’s the real work!” Lin Xi smacked his forehead, he came to ask exactly that: what song will Gu Zhinan sing, and how can they help. After all, Lin Xi picked him.

“Uh, it’s my original song. No accompaniment yet, Bro Lin, can you find two producers with good musical feel?” Gu Zhinan said it casually, the product of cramming some music theory. He surprised himself.

“Original?!” Lin Xi and Xiao Li were stunned.

“You’re going to sing a song you wrote yourself? And you don’t even have accompaniment?” Lin Xi hesitated. It wasn’t unheard of, and Gu Zhinan was a musician-type, but usually you go on with a finished track.

“What’s the title so I can file it?”

“Give Me a Song’s Time.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll sing it?” Lin Xi and Xiao Li were confused, give him one song’s time to do what?

“No, I mean, Give Me a Song’s Time.”

“Ah! Ten minutes to sing a sample?” Lin Xi generously offered Gu Zhinan ten minutes of stage time.

Gu Zhinan said it quietly and deadpan, “The song’s title is: Give Me a Song’s Time.”

Lin Xi and Xiao Li exchanged helpless looks. That was an unusual song title. “All right, I’ll file it. Tomorrow we’ll arrange studio practice and I’ll get reliable people for accompaniment.”

Lin Xi stood to leave, still worried the exposure might dampen future album impact, but he smiled. “Good luck. I’m rooting for you. The money will be transferred to your account tomorrow, every cent.”

“Thanks!!!” Gu Zhinan shouted, filled with a sudden fighting spirit. Lin Xi nodded satisfied. “Think of a pre-match line to generate buzz. You can be revived once.” Lin Xi reminded him.

After dinner (Xiao Li delivered two dishes and a soup in generous portions,) Xiao Li left early so Gu Zhinan could rest for tomorrow’s show. Gu Zhinan stayed up drafting how to finish the accompaniment with only one day left.

In Haipu City that evening, Cheng Mengying wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow; Ruan Ying, knowing Xia An’ge had returned, set out from home to accompany her.

Xia An’ge sat on a yoga mat in her yoga clothes, stretching her long legs. She hadn’t trained as a dancer but kept her flexibility up like exercise. She was intensely reading a book titled How to Successfully Win Over a Hardcore Straight Man. She swore she’d never studied this seriously before.

Holding a pen, she underlined lines she liked and starred paragraphs. She compared Gu Brute’s behavior to the book’s “straight-man” traits, getting agitated, then tossed the book aside in frustration, but then picked it up again. She refused to accept that there wasn’t some way to crack him.

Ding-dong! The apartment doorbell rang and a key turned, Ruan Ying was back.

Panic-stricken, Xia An’ge hurriedly tossed the book and pen onto the bed, returned to the mat, and pretended to work out.

“An’ge! I’m back!” Ruan Ying pulled in a small suitcase.

“Mengying said our album hit 10th on the new songs chart this afternoon! Nothing can stop us!” Ruan Ying beamed, surprised to see Xia An’ge. “An’ge doesn’t need someone to nag her to do yoga? What move are you practicing? Your face is so red.” Ruan Ying asked.

Xia An’ge’s body stiffened; her face flushed deeper. “Just doing a bit of practice… losing weight.” She mumbled.

“I bought something tasty, want to eat before your workout?” Ruan Ying jingled a bag.

Xia An’ge brightened a little. “Alright.”

On the 19th, Xiao Li woke Gu Zhinan, swiping the room card to enter and violently shaking him awake.

“Xiao Li?”

“Huh? Teacher Gu, what’s wrong?” Gu Zhinan said lazily, eating breakfast.

“Are there female contestants in the show?” He asked. 

“Yes.”

“Do they also wake people by swiping cards?” Gu Zhinan joked.

Xiao Li scratched his head sheepishly. “Bro Lin asked for an extra card because you ghost people at times. It’s convenient.”

“Can’t people have a little trust?” Gu Zhinan muttered. Xiao Li begged him for the two chapters update he’d promised.

After breakfast, he put the frog head back on and headed to Zhi Jiang TV, Hangcheng TV’s main studio area. In the elevator he noticed someone in a monkey mask and a girl; he found it awkward, a frog and a monkey in the same elevator. The monkey extended a hand per the rules; the frog shook it. They were now acquaintances in the mask world.

When the elevator stopped at the parking level more people slipped in, a pink rabbit among them. By the time they reached the garage, the elevator held six people: a frog, monkey, rabbit, and a rooster who got in later. Welcome to the Animal Kingdom edition of Masked Singer.

They piled into a shuttle. By the time they reached the studio cameras were rolling. Xiao Li told him he could practice in the TV station’s assigned recording room until 7 pm. Lin Xi had arranged people to make the accompaniment that day, tight schedule but possible.

Gu Zhinan took off the mask, half-lounged in the seat, comfortable. He’d only heard cover songs performed by the landlady in this world, nothing else, so if he had to practice, he might as well use his own original.

“Xiao Li, if I just wing it on stage, will Lin Xi kill me?” Gu Zhinan asked. Xiao Li didn’t know how to answer, stammering that Lin mentioned his talent and expects a lot.

They arrived. On the 16th floor, Lin Xi had arranged a recording room. Four people waited inside. Gu Zhinan removed the headpiece and greeted them. “Hello. Thanks in advance.”

“Hello, Straight-Man!” Someone called.

One guy looked at his phone and suddenly lit up. “I’m a fan of Legend of Sword and Fairy too. I read the updates. I heard you asked us to do your accompaniment today, I’m so excited to finally see you!”

Gu Zhinan took two steps back, the guy had just exposed himself as a fan. The others laughed. One older-looking man offered a hand. “Call me David. We’ll get this accompaniment done for you. Shall we start?” 

Seeing a reliable face, Gu Zhinan handed his score sheet to David.

David wasn’t surprised by Gu’s decisiveness. “We signed NDAs, nothing will leak before the show. Don’t worry.”

They got to work immediately, analyzing the score and assembling a synthetic accompaniment, the fastest way when time’s tight. Gu Zhinan didn’t expect to finish real instrumental recording in one day anyway.

By late afternoon they had a working track. Each of the four engineers and composers who’d stayed for lunch were impressed.

“Teacher Gu, it’s a shame to use this song for Masked Singer,” David said. “This song is S-tier for an album’s lead single. If it’s exposed on the show, it won’t have the same shock power when you release the album later.”

The young fan who called him “straight-man” echoed the sentiment. They replayed the accompaniment and read the lyrics, stunned. This was absolutely a great song. With more time for recording real instruments and harmonies it would be spectacular. But the prototype was very promising.

Gu Zhinan smiled and shrugged, they could refine it later. “I’ll try singing it now.”

“Do it!” David and the others couldn’t wait.

They set up. Xiao Li arrived with dinner while Gu sang through it several times, using techniques the landlady had shown him to steady the pitch. His voice, that “diamond voice,” wasn’t a fluke.

When he stepped out of the booth the team looked at him admiringly. “Teacher Gu, if you don’t crack on those final notes live, it’ll be perfect!” Xiao Li remarked quietly.

Gu Zhinan stiffened, then gave a half-smile. He then clapped Xiao Li on the shoulder with a meaning that made the kid feel an odd chill, was Teacher Gu going to send Drunken Sword Immortal away? The kid feared the worst.

They returned to the hotel wearing masks. In the parking garage waiting reporters had camped out, but Xiao Li’s plan worked: a big head-with-horns guy distracted attention while they slipped in another entrance.

Back at the hotel, Xiao Li left early so Gu Zhinan could rest; tomorrow was the performance. Gu Zhinan texted the landlady, “Song’s ready, rushed, but accompaniment’s done with a few flaws, nothing major.”

Her reply came, “Good luck.” He felt like she wanted him to advance.

“Congrats, the love song moved up to 9th on the new songs chart.”

“Thanks, I’ll watch your match tomorrow.”

“You’ll know it’s me, then we’ll talk.”

Xia An’ge coquettishly tapped her screen. Gu Zhinan didn’t reply further, one careless reply might get him blacklisted again.

He locked the door, warning Xiao Li not to barge in to pull the covers, or he’d deliver Drunken Sword Immortal somewhere. His phone exploded with messages. Reluctantly he answered and was forced awake, “Teacher Gu! Teacher Gu! Get up! Ten o’clock! Time to prepare to enter!”

“Isn’t the draw at four?” Gu Zhinan muttered.

“Pack up quickly, I bought breakfast. If you don’t hurry, Bro Lin will tear me apart!” Xiao Li fretted. 

“Don’t you have a wardrobe?” Xiao Li asked. 

“What nonsense. This is a wardrobe.” Gu Zhinan wore casual clothes with a thin jacket.

“They meant stage outfit!” Xiao Li explained.

“Am I slinging looks or singing?” Gu Zhinan shrugged.

At Hangcheng TV, the press waited outside, ten episodes, twenty contestants total. Gu Zhinan was in the first episode, ten to eight elimination, the ten would be a mix of hidden singers and people with unexpectedly good voices.

In the recording room today only David stayed; the others went on to tune the venue. “Teacher Gu, just do a quick run so it won’t affect the match,” they said.

Gu Zhinan nodded and trained hard, he wasn’t about to waste Lin Xi’s ten thousand.

At 4 pm, Xiao Li pushed open the door. “Teacher Gu, it’s time to draw lots. There’ll be a pre-show interview, the trash-talk gimmick. Say something to stir it up, then stay silent after that.” He helped adjust the mask so it wouldn’t affect singing.

They walked to the venue: a 500-seat indoor hall. As soon as they stepped out of the car, reporters spotted the frog-head and surged forward. Xiao Li called in two security guys and shielded him. Gu Zhinan felt oddly like a big star.

“Mr. Frog, do you think you can win the championship?”

“What do you do for work?”

“What song will you sing?”

Microphones were shoved at him. Security and Xiao Li protected him through the rush.

Inside the venue other masked singers waited, and they were about to be let in as one of the show’s ringleaders arrived.

“Twenty minutes until the draw. After you pick your order, we head to the waiting room,” Xiao Li murmured.

As cameras came online, Xiao Li whispered, “It’s live-streamed; about a ten-minute delay. Be serious, Teacher Gu!”

Be serious? I’m the most serious person here, Gu Zhinan thought, looking at a glittering horse-head, a woman in shiny pink clothes with a pink rabbit head, a monkey with armor, and a bare-chested horned ox in a red vest. How serious could this be? He suspected the channel head was an animal-world fan.

The broadcast began and the chatrooms erupted.

“It’s Animal World!” 

“Last season was all anime, now it’s a zoo!” 

“Look, the only half-normal costume is the frog’s!” 

“They replaced the judges except Lin Xi, big names!” 

“Speaking of Lin Xi, remember when Gu Zhinan skipped writing Legend of Sword and Fairy to go collect the Golden Songwriting Prize?” 

“666!”

Xia An’ge sat early in the artists’ apartment TV room. She had few commitments lately and wanted to rest, but Gu was suddenly busy again.

“An’ge, you watch Masked Singer?” Ruan Ying asked. Xia An’ge usually practiced piano or guitar or worked out when off duty. Ruan Ying said, “Is this the Masked Singer thing Starlight Entertainment told you about? If you’re curious, ask me. Mengying and I watch it. Last season the winner was a director who then became a singer!”

The season’s theme was animals. Xia An’ge squinted at the costumes; then she burst out laughing at the plain green frog in the corner. Ruan Ying raised an eyebrow, about to ask why she liked animal costumes, when Cheng Mengying called, she was back in Haipu and needed a pick-up. Ruan Ying went to fetch her; Xia An’ge curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow and watching the frog head on television with a smile.

Gu Zhinan waited half an hour past the promised twenty minutes. The show did drawings for order on-site and live. When it was Gu Zhinan’s turn, only two people were left behind him; he pulled a ball and it read 8. He’d be eighth. He’d rather finish early and go home.

Xiao Li could accompany him to the waiting room. As soon as they walked in, some Zhi Jiang TV reporters mobbed them.

“Mr. Frog, pre-match interview time!” Xiao Li gave Gu Zhinan a look that says, “Say something to get attention.”

“We’ll process voices before they go live,” the journalists said, assuming Gu Zhinan was nervous and might be a grassroots sensation.

The chat exploded with jokes and mockery. Gu Zhinan, in the frog head, stepped forward two paces, turned, and with the microphones held in front of him spoke in a low, magnetic voice, “Hand clasping the bright moon, plucking down the stars, there’s no one like me in the world!”