Mental Illness Evolution Manual - Chapter 99

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She didn’t know how to describe this feeling.

Yan Xianchuan didn’t consider herself to be someone with an empty head. She had good grades, she read a lot of extracurricular books, some poetry collections, famous works, and professional psychology books.

But at this moment, her brain was blank, as if it had crashed. She couldn’t say a word, and she couldn’t find an adjective.

It was as if all her senses had faded, everything in front of her was pitch black, leaving only touch, so clear. Like a traveler in the desert who found a red apple, juicy, sweet and delicious.

She considered this apple a miracle, a gift from God. God had heard her prayers, seen and acknowledged her piety, and so he had bestowed a miracle.

For God, it was a trivial thing, but for the believer, it was the ultimate pursuit of a lifetime.

Lu Mingqiu’s lips were warm and soft, they gently pressed against her lips. The heat of her breath slowly fell on her face.

—Am I going to die? Or am I not awake yet, are these all hallucinations?

A strong palpitation made her whole body go weak.

Her hearing hadn’t recovered yet, everything around her was silent, but Yan Xianchuan seemed to hear her own rapid heartbeat, beating again and again, violently echoing in her mind.

Her pupils dilated blankly, they lost focus. Her whole body seemed to be sealed, her expression frozen, her body frozen, motionless.

Then, a wet, soft object gently crossed her slightly parted lips, it squeezed through the gap and entered her mouth, gently stirring inside.

Its movements were very slow, but for Yan Xianchuan, it was no less than stirring up a storm. Her brain, her soul, were also twisted together, like floating in space, without up or down, left or right. She was like a leaf that had been blown by a strong wind, she could only let the wind tip roll her around at will, she couldn’t control herself.

After a while, perhaps she felt that this position was inconvenient. Lu Mingqiu stopped the kiss she had initiated. Her tongue, which had been probing, slowly retracted. This movement was like hitting a switch. Yan Xianchuan’s pupils constricted, she instinctively closed her mouth, biting the intruder that had been acting recklessly, not letting it leave easily.

She reached out and grabbed Lu Mingqiu’s arm, pulling her over and making her lie on her side. Yan Xianchuan immediately leaned over, taking the initiative, she held the other person’s lips and tongue, greedily prolonging the kiss.

The person beneath her didn’t resist, she even adjusted her posture slightly, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and back, generously and tolerantly letting her do as she pleased.

Indulgence.

Yan Xianchuan instantly realized this. She was indulging her.

Why?

Her mouth still held the sweet, soft flesh, trying to absorb every drop of liquid. The slight flush of color that had appeared on her face from excitement gradually faded, becoming even paler. A strong ache and pain clutched at her heart. Yan Xianchuan viciously sucked on the other person’s tongue, treating it as a last kiss before the end of the world.

A tear suddenly flowed from her eye socket, it dripped onto Lu Mingqiu’s cheek.

Yan Xianchuan slowly stopped all her attacks. She released the person beneath her, she stared at her deeply, her eyes were filled with sadness, with a sense of acceptance and a strong reluctance.

“I’m going to die, right?”

“This is end-of-life care, right?” she said softly, “Thank you. I’m sorry, I bit your lip.”

It turned out that people really cried when they were sad. It was a new experience, but she didn’t feel happy.

She hadn’t even considered the possibility that Lu Mingqiu would accept her.

Of course, she had indeed been working towards that direction, pursuing it, trying to change herself, to make herself seem reliable and obedient.

She had been trying very hard to be a normal person, at least to act like a normal person. She didn’t go crazy, she spoke appropriately, she controlled her various desires, she didn’t destroy, and she didn’t kill indiscriminately.

Although she was used to it, it was really difficult.

For an ordinary person to go against their nature, to force themselves to pretend to be someone else every day, it wouldn’t take long before they had a mental breakdown.

Could it be that it would become easy for her?

She didn’t get any psychological compensation during the whole process, she didn’t feel any joy, except for the approval and affirmation from the person next to her. This made Yan Xianchuan feel like she was doing something she should do, because she wanted Lu Mingqiu, the person she liked, the person she cared about, to be happy.

In the past, she did these things to make her parents happy. After her parents passed away, she still maintained the habit of eating sweets. On the one hand, she liked it, but more importantly, it was to maintain the reward mechanism.

Without her parents rewarding her with sweets, praising her for doing well, she did it herself, she encouraged herself. It was as if they were still by her side, accompanying her.

Now, she had put all her body and mind into Lu Mingqiu. The latter had replaced the former, becoming her new anchor.

She was getting better and better, because she knew Lu Mingqiu liked to see her like this.

Perhaps… maybe it was because she wasn’t a delusional maniac who was good at self-hypnosis. She couldn’t deceive herself into thinking that someone would firmly choose her, that she would truly receive love.

How could that be? Who would like someone with a mental illness, a psychopath, a crazy person who was emotionally unstable and enjoyed killing?

She suddenly fell in love with Lu Mingqiu. Since that day, she had been waiting for her end.

She just didn’t expect it to come so quickly.

Sugar-coated bullets can corrupt the mind. She was too complacent and too presumptuous.

Yan Xianchuan looked at the person beneath her quietly, she said softly, “Go ahead.”

—I won’t resist. Dying in the hands of the person I love, isn’t that a happy thing to be happy about?

Lu Mingqiu sighed, she murmured, “I really don’t understand you.”

One person confessed, the other kissed her. Wasn’t that a sign of acceptance?

What normal person would think about life and death?

Well, Yan Xianchuan wasn’t a normal person.

She pinched the other person’s ear. In the other person’s uncertain gaze, she raised her head and sucked hard on her lips.

“What are you talking nonsense about?” she wrote, showing a hint of “I really can’t do anything about you.”

“I like you.”

Yan Xianchuan opened her eyes blankly, she crashed again.

“I must be dreaming. I must be,” she mumbled, “This is fake. It’s so strange. Is this a lucid dream?”

Lu Mingqiu’s hand was still pinching her ear. Hearing this, she tightened her grip, pulling her head down until the two of them were pressed together, their breaths mingling.

“Is this a dream?” she held the other person’s lips, she mumbled, “Is this a dream?”

She kissed her eyes, gently bit her nose, pinched her earlobe, her fingertips slid down, pressed against her neck, and slowly caressed it, like she was soothing a frightened cat.

Yan Xianchuan’s face slowly turned red. With the amount of blood she had left in her body, it was really not easy to do this.

“You kissed me…”

She was like a sloth that had become a spirit, her reaction was always a beat behind. She repeated incredulously, “You said you like me… You kissed… You, you kissed me!”

Lu Mingqiu’s eyes were filled with laughter, she slowly wrote on her back, “Don’t you like it? Can’t I do it?”

“I like it! I like it very much,” Yan Xianchuan said seriously, “You can kiss me whenever you want.”

“You don’t need my permission.”

Lu Mingqiu chuckled.

Yan Xianchuan closed her eyes drowsily, letting the other person peck and kiss every part of her face. After a while, she suddenly realized.

“No, no, no, no… Wait! Wait,” she pulled back a little, she said in shock, “You like me!”

“You’ve already repeated that once,” Lu Mingqiu wrote.

Yes, I did repeat it, but I didn’t realize it, I didn’t understand what it meant!

Only now did she fully understand what had just happened.

“You like me… I like you too,” Yan Xianchuan said hesitantly and uncertainly, “Does this mean that we’re now, um… in a relationship?”

“No,” Lu Mingqiu denied her, “We’re already married. Don’t you remember?”

Yan Xianchuan: !

Ah!!!

I really forgot!

Yan Xianchuan was still in shock, but Lu Mingqiu pressed her shoulders down again, making her lie on top of her.

“It’s easy to press on your wound if you’re propping yourself up like that. It’ll be more comfortable if you lie down.”

Yan Xianchuan had no idea what she was writing anymore. Her face was rubbing against hers, her head was resting in her neck. As long as she moved slightly, she could kiss it.

Is this called entwined necks?

Lu Mingqiu continued to write, “You can kiss me too. It’s only fair.”

They would have to stay here for a while. What better way to pass the time?

What? Kiss freely?

Yan Xianchuan’s heart pounded. She didn’t have the same sense of determination and fearlessness as before.

She was still immersed in her newly-baked relationship, her mind wandering in the sweet ocean.

Sudden sadness, sudden joy. It was a good thing she didn’t have any heart problems, otherwise, she might have fainted.

But it’s not good, is it… Without the boost of momentum, her innocent side secretly peeked out. Yan Xianchuan’s face was red, as if she had drunk dozens of bottles of wine.

Anyway, anyway, she said it was okay, so I’ll just kiss her a little… she thought, she slowly raised her chin, she was about to kiss the other person’s cheek, but unexpectedly, Lu Mingqiu suddenly turned her head, and their four lips met firmly.

The latter’s eyes were clearly filled with laughter, like a scattering of the Milky Way.

What’s the big deal, it’s just kissing. Counting the last time, she’s already kissed her many times!

It was a skill that you got better at with practice. Yan Xianchuan didn’t have any experience, but thankfully, she had a practice partner. She didn’t mind her poor technique, she was like a puppy that hadn’t eaten enough, nibbling and sucking randomly.

And she was very patient in guiding her, teaching her how to please her lover correctly.

She learned well, and she learned quickly.

After a long time, they parted. Yan Xianchuan lay on Lu Mingqiu’s chest, panting, she mumbled softly, “I’m so dizzy, I can’t breathe… Is there enough oxygen?”

Lu Mingqiu chuckled, she gently supported her back of the head, stroking her hair, like a mountain breeze caressing the water.

“Lie down for a while.”

“I love you so much,” Yan Xianchuan said softly.

“I know,” this reply finally connected to the second half, “I love you too.”

“Is there anything else you want to ask me about myself?” Yan Xianchuan resisted her drowsiness, she wanted to stay awake. She suddenly remembered the conversation that had been interrupted.

“Tell me about your new ability?” Lu Mingqiu asked, her most pressing question.

“It’s called Sweet Tooth. It’s a good match for me, right?” Yan Xianchuan chuckled softly, listening to the other person’s heartbeat, she said in a lighthearted tone, “Every half hour, I can conjure up a sweet treat. It’s the usual stuff, cakes, ice cream, candy, cookies, that kind of thing. I can roughly specify the type, but I can’t decide what flavor it will be. It’s random.”

“For example, if I want candy, it could be milk candy, fruit candy, peanut candy, chewy candy, gummy candy… I can’t choose the flavor either, it’s all up to luck.”

“It’s been half an hour now… Wow, we’ve been kissing for a long time,” Yan Xianchuan couldn’t help but exclaim, “Do you want dessert?”

“The things that are conjured up are all very delicious!”

“A piece of cake,” Lu Mingqiu thought for a moment. She wasn’t asking for herself, she was planning to give Yan Xianchuan something to eat, to replenish her energy.

After writing this sentence, she sat up and supported the other person’s body, making her lie on her lap.

Yan Xianchuan’s hand clenched, then opened again. A triangular piece of chocolate Black Forest cake suddenly appeared on top of it, as if it had just been cut from a whole cake. It emitted the characteristic slightly bitter aroma of chocolate.

Lu Mingqiu stared at her palm without blinking, but she didn’t notice how the cake appeared.

There was only this one piece of cake, no fork, but it was placed on a baking sheet, the edges curled up, with wavy patterns.

“You eat it,” Lu Mingqiu wrote, “Why haven’t I seen you use this ability before?”

“Because there’s no need,” Yan Xianchuan said happily, biting off the chocolate decoration on top of the cake, “The desserts that are conjured up are just very delicious, they’re not unique or unbeatable. Excellent dessert shops can achieve the same level. Besides, I can choose what I want.”

Lu Mingqiu changed things up every day to feed her. The high-end desserts she bought, some of the flavors were even more delicious than the ones conjured up by her ability. Since there were better things to eat, why would she make herself suffer?

After finishing the cake, with the sugar replenishment, Yan Xianchuan felt a little better. It might have been a psychological effect, after all, she was in a good mood now, she felt great, like she was floating on a cloud.

Lu Mingqiu assessed her condition, making sure she wouldn’t fall asleep directly. She used her fingertips to wipe the cream off her mouth and wrote, “You can sleep. Go to sleep.”

Sleep was also a kind of body recovery mechanism. Now that the network was restored, she could monitor Yan Xianchuan’s physical health information at any time. She didn’t have to force her to stay awake.

It would waste her own energy.

Yan Xianchuan was extremely sleepy. When she read her writing, she couldn’t help but yawn twice.

“What about you?” she mumbled.

Lu Mingqiu gently patted her back, her fingers went into her hair, she massaged her scalp. Yan Xianchuan comfortably squinted her eyes, and soon succumbed to the call of sleep.

After she fell asleep, the tenderness on Lu Mingqiu’s face gradually receded. She pulled out the floating screen, saw the message sent by Black, and her gaze gradually became heavy.

To successfully enter Gaoshan City now and rescue them, only ability users could come, they wouldn’t be affected by the green mist.

With the Resistance’s current personnel configuration, it would be too risky to pull out a team like that, have them rush over from all over the Federation, and then have them endure the attacks of the wandering people on the ground.

In comparison, it would be better to wait for the Federation’s official rescue. They could blend in with the people who were being rescued, no one would notice them.

This was also why Lu Mingqiu had chosen to contact the other person directly.

But seeing the message Black sent her, knowing that the Federation army had also been bombed, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of anxiety for the Federation and the civilians. This crisis was truly too serious.

Azberto was a madman, and so were his men. They did things without any consequences, they didn’t consider human life at all.

The number of people who died from the potion and the missiles was conservatively estimated to be hundreds of thousands. The impact was too bad. This was just the number of deaths in this one battle. Since Azberto declared rebellion, an unknown number of people had already been sacrificed.

He was dead, but his men were still alive. The people who had gathered around him hadn’t been completely eliminated.

The revenge of someone who wasn’t afraid of death was terrifying. You could tell from the fact that he had blown up Gaoshan City without any hesitation just how crazy his methods were.

He didn’t care about enemies or his own people.

Grey Rabbit hadn’t sent any news yet. Lu Mingqiu told the various branches to stay vigilant during this time. This was the Resistance’s weak period, when their strength was insufficient.

She flipped through the political news. She had only read two articles when a message popped up in the upper right corner of the screen.

From the Minister of Finance.

— “The rescue team has already set off. The liaison team is the Tanggui Group from the Medical Department, the captain’s code name is Mercury.”

A photo and information of the entire team was attached, all members of the Resistance.

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