Mental Illness Evolution Manual - Chapter 97

“Besides, I won’t be anything,” Yan Xianchuan said in a nonchalant tone, “I won’t die. Even if I get hurt, I’ll recover quickly.”

“And I’m lucky, actually,” she said with a clear smile, “It doesn’t hurt at all, I can’t feel anything. But it’s a little strange, it’s like my lower body has disappeared.”

But there are also a lot of great things.

She buried her face in Lu Mingqiu’s arms, her cheek pressed against her soft, warm abdomen. Unhindered, honest, close together…

Perhaps she should give her the feeling in her lower body back. Otherwise, how much self-control would she need to stop herself from wantonly licking and kissing it, using her lips to caress every inch of skin.

She has a very nice smell. What is it? Is it pheromones? But Lu Mingqiu said she had her glands removed, she couldn’t smell it anymore. It wasn’t that soft, baked bread scent.

But it’s fragrant, it smells good, it’s strange, it’s really strange. They use the same brand of body wash, what is this…

Yan Xianchuan gently turned her head, so that her nose wasn’t directly facing the abdomen she was resting on. That would be too much, too offensive.

She shouldn’t do that, it’s very rude.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to, it’s that she can’t.

I won’t do that, although I really want to. If I could, I would kiss it a thousand times, ten thousand times, bite the soft flesh around her waist. It’s so cute, but that would be after getting permission. Yan Xianchuan bit her tongue, don’t be too presumptuous.

She only turned her head a little, but she could still smell it. It’s okay, it’s because she’s too close.

I can’t help it, Yan Xianchuan thought, who told me I can’t move?

She slowed her breathing, taking a deep breath, then slowly releasing it. She repeated this over and over.

Her tongue darted between her teeth, muttering incoherently as if intoxicated. “Don’t worry about me,” she slurred. “But you *are* worried, aren’t you? I’m fine, I’ll be fine, really. I never lie, you should believe me.”

“I’m good, now, very good,” her voice was muffled, like it was stuck in her throat, “There’s no better time than now.”

Perhaps, perhaps it shouldn’t be good. Maybe Lu Mingqiu would take care of her all the time. No, she would, she would do it herself, because she’s such a responsible person.

How intimate this relationship is. She depends on her, she can’t live without her, and she willingly lets herself be depended on. Just thinking about it makes Yan Xianchuan want to go crazy.

But there are many disadvantages to being immobile, it’s very troublesome.

Yan Xianchuan reluctantly rejected this idea. Besides, if she stayed paralyzed, she wouldn’t be able to stay by Lu Mingqiu’s side all the time.

While she was lost in thought, Lu Mingqiu was only heartbroken. She didn’t know about those attractions, she thought it was because she had lost too much blood and her mind was unclear.

Although there was indeed some truth to that.

“Rescue will arrive soon,” Lu Mingqiu said softly to her, it was also like she was saying it to herself, “You’ll be fine.”

“Oh, I suddenly remembered something,” Yan Xianchuan said excitedly, “There’s a handkerchief in my coat pocket. Did you see it?”

Lu Mingqiu reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief embroidered with gold thread. The pattern on it was a flower, the petals were like radiating sunlight, the branches and leaves were spread out, with a kind of unrestrained beauty.

“What kind of flower is this?” Yan Xianchuan’s vision was blocked, she could only guess from her actions, “I saw it and thought it was so beautiful. I wanted a pillowcase like that!”

Lu Mingqiu’s eyes were a little strange. She slowly wrote on her palm, “This is the Polov family crest, it’s called the Sunflower. It symbolizes unyielding and bravery. Where did you get it?”

“I got it from Azberto’s pocket,” Yan Xianchuan said.

Lu Mingqiu was speechless for a moment, she could only say, “I’ll have someone custom-make one for you when we get out.”

“Speaking of which, do you know Evelyn?” Yan Xianchuan asked curiously, “She called Azberto brother before. But I didn’t notice that the three of you looked alike. You don’t seem to have any similarities.”

“Well, but speaking of which, the Yan family members don’t seem to look alike either. They all look different.”

“I’m the prettiest though.”

“Yes, you’re the prettiest,” Lu Mingqiu praised first, then continued to write the answer to the previous question.

“I’ve met her once, when I went back to the family for the funeral.”

She was looking for her mother in the back hall when she saw her, Evelyn, standing in the flowers, wearing a delicate, puffy dress, with a doll-like face and equally lifeless eyes.

She didn’t know that her half-sister was also an ability user, and that she was also connected to Azberto. When she saw her by Azberto’s side, Lu Mingqiu was shocked.

But she didn’t show any unusual behavior, and she didn’t think she was special.

Revolution is about bloodshed, shedding the blood of your own people, shedding the blood of your enemies. Their ideals were diametrically opposed to hers. It had nothing to do with hatred, nothing to do with personal grudges, nothing to do with family ties. Besides, the Polov family didn’t have that kind of thing. They had to die.

It was just that Evelyn’s mental state was even more serious than she had estimated. It was true, she was a Polov family member after all.

But she didn’t have any position to comment on her.

After this battle, the Polov family would inevitably decline rapidly. The head of the family was dead, he was convicted of treason and became a public enemy. The Federation would definitely seize this opportunity to completely eliminate the Polov family, leaving no room for them.

The few remaining descendants of the family were almost all hoping for this giant ship to sink. She wouldn’t save the family, and neither would the self-proclaimed poet, Javier. He was probably watching this good show somewhere quietly. The other underage siblings didn’t have any affection for the family either, and they didn’t have enough ability.

The Polov family, a name that symbolized conquest and arrogance, would end in this way.

She was one of the people behind the scenes who made this happen.

And Lu Mingqiu only had one feeling—she was one step closer to achieving her goal.

Yan Xianchuan didn’t ask questions like “Will you be sad that your two relatives died?” Her still-confused mind was dominated by instinct, she couldn’t consider some of the ethical and moral issues that were cultivated later.

But even if she regained her senses now, she probably wouldn’t ask that after careful consideration. Just looking at Lu Mingqiu’s attitude, you could tell that she had no feelings for her family.

“I have a very important question.” Yan Xianchuan mumbled, grabbing the clothes of the person beneath her. Her cold fingertips brushed against her skin, the other person’s breath hitched. She didn’t dodge or avoid it, instead, she pulled her hands over and pressed them against her waist.

Warm body heat ironed her palm. Yan Xianchuan squinted her eyes, feeling herself grow even more drowsy.

“Um… it’s, it’s…” She secretly bit the flesh of her cheek, “Ah, right, we’re trapped here. Will we run out of oxygen? If we do, you can just suffocate me.”

Lu Mingqiu: “…”

She wanted to laugh, but she felt a pang in her heart. Because this wasn’t an exaggerated joke. The person who said this truly thought this way.

“Would you be able to do it?” Yan Xianchuan continued to mutter to herself, “You would, right? Um, it’s okay. I can just break my own neck first. That way, I won’t have to worry.”

“You’re such a fool,” Lu Mingqiu murmured softly.

Does loving someone need a reason? She didn’t think she was someone worthy of affection. Admittedly, she had many real or fake virtues, she could act like a perfect person. But deep down, they both knew that her body and mind were completely dedicated to her ideals.

She would inevitably fight for her ideals in her life, she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice her life. You could say that she lived for it.

Loving someone requires giving your whole heart. But for her, even if she had a lover, the other person would only be second, not first.

She wasn’t someone worthy of love.

Let alone this kind of unconditional love.

Lu Mingqiu closed her eyes, her breath trembled.

But she had to admit that for someone like her, who had closed off her body and mind, if anyone could break through the ice, it would be someone like Yan Xianchuan, someone who was reckless and passionate.

Faced with such an aggressive attack, she had to give in, she couldn’t help but be moved.

She reached out and wrote on the other person’s arm, “There’s air circulation here. Stop thinking about it. Communication will be restored in a few minutes.”

“Okay, okay,” Yan Xianchuan’s words sounded like she was quite regretful. She mumbled softly, “A few minutes.”

Why only a few minutes? Time passes so quickly. Then she could only seize the opportunity and get closer to her lover.

After leaving here, there probably wouldn’t be any chance for intimate contact.

Holding hands, a non-intrusive hug, it was just a temporary fix, it only allowed her to barely suppress her desire, it didn’t solve the problem at all.

There was only one way to completely soothe her, and that was to let her completely, fully possess the person in front of her.

She took a deep breath, smelling the scent emanating from the other person’s skin, then she exhaled contentedly, unconsciously muttering, “I love you so much…”

After saying this, she almost woke up in a panic, “No, I didn’t say anything just now… Okay, I did. Some, um… inappropriate things. That’s not what I meant!”

“No, that’s what I meant. I really like you, but it’s not a confession or anything. I’ve already confessed once. It’s not blackmail or… or, what’s that word called?”

Yan Xianchuan racked her brains, searching through her not-so-clear mind, “…Taking advantage of someone’s kindness? Is that it?”

“I just, couldn’t help myself. I just said it.”

She bit her lip in annoyance, she explained in a flustered manner, “Um, I know you don’t like me yet. I know, it’s okay. I’m not trying to get something from you, to force you… to accept or anything. I should be doing okay, right?”

Before Lu Mingqiu could answer, she immediately continued, “Okay, I should be okay. I’m doing well, I haven’t made any mistakes. It’s just… um, maybe I’m too dizzy, I didn’t think before I spoke, it just came out.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“…I’m sorry. Can you forget what I just said? Pretend you didn’t hear anything, okay?”

“I’m so stupid…” she mumbled, “I’m so stupid. What should I do? Will I ruin everything? Ah… I’m so stupid.”

“Can you forget? Forget it, okay? Nothing happened just now, okay, okay?”

She kept chattering, it was like a talkative switch had been pressed.

Lu Mingqiu knew that this person talked a lot. When they weren’t very familiar, she talked a lot and very quickly. She would even recite poetry in public like a lunatic.

It wasn’t that she was simply acting that way; she genuinely suffered from mental health issues.

But since Yan Xianchuan had expressed her feelings, perhaps she was trying to make herself more normal, more stable. She hadn’t talked this much anymore.

Now, it was probably because her mind wasn’t clear and her self-control had disappeared, so her true nature was revealed again.

The person in her arms kept repeating these words, trying to pretend nothing had happened. Lu Mingqiu could only reach out and press her index finger against her lips, blocking her mouth.

Her other fingers gently stroked her cheek.

Yan Xianchuan opened her eyes blankly, she tried to look at her face.

“It’s okay,” she wrote with her other free hand.

“I don’t mind.”

Lu Mingqiu chuckled softly, she said, “Because I’ve already fallen for you.”

Yan Xianchuan looked at her in confusion, “What? I can’t hear you.”

“I’ll tell you when we get out,” Lu Mingqiu wrote.