Mental Illness Evolution Manual - Chapter 40

This was a strange sensation.

Yan Xianchuan rarely got sick. Her body never sent her strange signals, the most she received was pain.

But this feeling was completely unrelated to pain. It was more like heat, like fire burning inside her, treating her whole body as an ingredient, making her flesh and blood simmer in the flames, boiling her bones, boiling her nerves, boiling her brain, softening her, melting her, turning her into a pot of mush, bubbling away.

The heat steamed her, making her limbs and bones both itchy and numb; it felt like ten thousand hands scratching at her, while ten thousand voices laughed in her ears, the sound merging into a maddening buzz that deafened and blinded her, like a fish roasting on a fire, turning this way and that.

But her mind was still clear, or she thought it was.

She could still think, she knew she had been drugged, these strange feelings were driven by the drug, they were false physiological pleasure.

But she had no idea how long it had been from the time she started thinking to the time she reached a conclusion, and then successfully sent a message to Lu Mingqiu.

Yan Xianchuan had never experienced this before. She was emotionally calm and stable, she didn’t understand love or desire, so once she was infected, the tide it turned into came on fiercely, instantly engulfing her whole person.

She opened her eyes, everything in her vision was covered in a layer of mist, and it was spinning like she was in a centrifuge.

Yan Xianchuan raised her hand and touched her forehead, it was burning hot. She also touched her lips, it was the same. After a while, she repeated the action, but she couldn’t feel the heat, because her hands were also burning hot.

Time seemed to be distorted by the heat, it was fast and slow. The clock on the wall moved forward and backward. Sometimes she felt like a long time had passed, but when she looked at the clock, it seemed like it hadn’t changed. Sometimes she felt like it was just a moment, but the hour hand had moved forward a long way.

She shook her head, she almost shook herself dizzy. She focused again to look, but she couldn’t see clearly.

The tiles on the floor were cold, but they were now warmed by her body temperature, like they had been taken from a volcano.

She didn’t know how long it had been, but Yan Xianchuan guessed it hadn’t been long. The door opened, footsteps approached, and Lu Mingqiu’s face swam into view, blurry and indistinct, like a melting oil painting or a glitching video.

Her mouth opened and closed, it reached Yan Xianchuan’s ears, her voice was like it had come through another world, it turned into a hazy whisper.

“I’m so hot.” She mumbled, she didn’t know if her tongue was in the right position in her mouth, if she had said those words clearly.

The other person said something, she couldn’t hear clearly. Then the person in front of her grabbed her arm, trying to pull her up.

Her hand was so cold.

It was like ice hitting a hot iron, Yan Xianchuan’s first reaction wasn’t coldness, she felt like she had been electrocuted, she dodged to the side with what she thought was lightning speed, at the same time, she complained unhappily, “Why did you electrocute me?”

Lu Mingqiu went to grab her again, after the previous contact, she had adapted a little, she felt the coldness.

The other person’s fingers were cold, her palm was cold, she put her arms around her waist, she half-dragged, half-hugged her up.

Her body was also cold, like a smooth piece of jade. Yan Xianchuan’s chin rested on her shoulder, her cheek touched her earlobe, she breathed in the cold air from her body, it was like eating a mouthful of refreshing chilled watermelon on a sweltering day, she sighed comfortably.

This was a restless person.

She wasn’t very conscious, and she couldn’t control her strength, she was like a startled wild cat, she fluttered in Lu Mingqiu’s arms. Fortunately, the person was dizzy, as long as she touched her with her hand, she would squint her eyes and calm down for a while.

When she received the message, she was filming, she was acting in a scene where a singer was singing, the lights were shining on the stage, a few extras in cool dresses were dancing behind her, she was holding onto the upright microphone stand, singing a song with a smoky and romantic tune.

The message came in the middle of the scene, Lu Mingqiu stopped filming directly, she said that she had to deal with something urgent.

She apologized quickly, she didn’t even change her costume, she jumped off the stage and left, Su Hong stayed behind to help her clean up.

She had a good reputation and a high status, if she said it was urgent, it must be urgent. The director was also stunned, he took the opportunity to say, “Don’t change the location, let’s film another scene.”

Lu Mingqiu rushed back to the hotel, she didn’t meet anyone on the way. She swiped her card to open Yan Xianchuan’s room, as soon as she entered, she smelled a strong scent of bitter tea.

It was bitter first, then sweet, the tea fragrance was strong and aggressive, it wasn’t like tea, it was more like cold mountain rocks, snow and ice.

Lu Mingqiu had already removed her glands, she wouldn’t release pheromones, and she wasn’t very sensitive to other people’s pheromones, but she could still clearly smell this scent.

It rushed into every pore of her body, trying to announce its existence, it had the same invasive nature as its owner.

She knew very well how effective the inhibitors developed by the research department were, the fact that they could make the inhibitors ineffective and stimulate people to this extent showed how strong the medicine was.

If her glands were intact, she would probably be affected and fall into a state of heat.

Lu Mingqiu’s face changed slightly, she ran a few steps out of the entrance hall, and saw Yan Xianchuan sitting on the floor by the window, her head tilted on the edge of the bed, as if she had fainted.

She hurried over to the person, she quickly scanned her, confirming her condition, and then she called her name.

Yan Xianchuan raised her head at the sound of her voice, she opened her eyes half-way, her pupils were unfocused, she looked dazed and vulnerable.

Her skin was cold white, she usually didn’t have much color on her face, her lips were also very pale, now, she had too much color, her cheeks were flushed, as if she had applied rouge, her lips were also red, her lower lip had a tooth mark, she must have bitten it unconsciously.

Lu Mingqiu rarely had a hard time.

From here to the branch base, it was almost across half of Nanjin City, a few hours’ journey, by the time they got to the base, who knows what she would be like.

She looked docile now, it was because the effects of the drug hadn’t reached that point, it hadn’t completely destroyed her mind, if she was left alone, who knows what would happen.

The best way to deal with being drugged was to help her relieve it.

Lu Mingqiu herself didn’t really care about this kind of thing, but she knew Yan Xianchuan cared. Let alone this level of intimacy, they had known each other for so long, they wouldn’t even touch fingers unless it was necessary.

Yan Xianchuan obviously disliked physical contact with others, she had saved her several times, either carrying her on her back or throwing herself on top of her, Lu Mingqiu was quite surprised.

This also showed that she wasn’t very averse to her, but that was all. Lu Mingqiu herself had a little liking for Yan Xianchuan, she was curious about her origins, but she also found her surprisingly good.

To actually do something… if it affected their current harmonious relationship…

Lu Mingqiu’s expression was complex, she had been thinking about it all the way here, but she hadn’t figured out what to do, which was rare for someone who always had a plan.

Engaged in a silent struggle, the figure on the ground frowned, an expression of displeasure on her face. Her lips moved, muttering inaudibly; a muffled stream of sound, somewhere between a complaint and a spoiled whine.

Lu Mingqiu thought for a moment, she got up and pulled the thick curtains closed, blocking out all the bright light, the entire room instantly darkened.

She reached out to pull the person’s arm, but they dodged her grasp. Lu Mingqiu mumbled again, her vocal cords and tongue seemingly unacquainted, unable to cooperate.

She used a lot of force, and her upper body also fell to one side. Lu Mingqiu quickly reached out with her left hand and put her arms around her waist, stopping her from falling, her other hand raised her arm and put it on her shoulder, she used her strength to lift the person up.

They were about the same height and weight, but Lu Mingqiu had been training for years, she didn’t find it difficult to carry Yan Xianchuan, it was just that the person was wriggling and sniffing, like a dog that had become a spirit, she was restless.

The bed in the hotel was very soft, but Yan Xianchuan felt that it was too soft, it was as if she wasn’t leaning against anything, she was constantly falling down, only the white clouds caught her, supporting her as she floated down.

She left the coldness behind, the heat returned, it became even more unbearable.

Yan Xianchuan opened her eyes. The ceiling lights seemed to bloom like flowers, blurring into a crowded mass. Then one light dominated her vision, and after a long, careful moment of recognition, her sluggish brain finally identified the face above her.

Then she began to complain, muttering and mumbling about the intense heat, the uncomfortable tightness of her clothes. She grumbled about how audacious “Xiao Shu” was, vowing to break her hands and feet, forcing her to crawl on the ground and leave a message reading “miserable.” Finally, she declared her need for a bath and food, saying she was starving.

A strange feeling of hunger swept over her, making her feel miserable. Her tongue was itchy, her teeth were itchy, she wanted to bite something, suck something, hold something in her mouth, hold it carefully, or crush its flesh and bones, let it flow down her esophagus into her stomach.

But there was nothing, her mouth was empty, her hands were empty, her arms were empty, her heart was also empty.

Cold hair slid through her fingers, she reflexively reached out to grab it, but she was a beat too slow. Then something touched her lips, it was soft, it was cold, like flowing ice cream, a light lick, it turned into sweet water, brushing against her tongue.

Her brain exploded, countless white dots were in a mess, exploding into fireworks.

Yan Xianchuan’s limbs, which had been limp like mud, suddenly regained their strength, like a drowning person grabbing onto a piece of driftwood, she tightly wrapped her arms around the person on top of her, she instinctively chased after the other person’s lips, it wasn’t a flower kissing another flower, it was an eagle swooping down on a rabbit.

All her unfulfilled desires now had an outlet, she felt for the first time that there was a different kind of happiness to be had, besides the blood on her hands.

Yan Xianchuan was physically very energetic, but her spirit had been in a heightened state for too long, leaving her feeling exhausted. By the time she finally fell asleep, contented, it was already dark both inside and outside the room.

At first, she was clumsy, merely fumbling her way through, but Lu Mingqiu guided her patiently. Despite the initial awkwardness, she found it enjoyable, like someone who had discovered a novel toy for the first time, playing with it tirelessly until she was completely worn out.

Lu Mingqiu couldn’t stand this kind of tossing and turning, she was sweating profusely, she was like she had been fished out of sticky syrup, she wanted to wash herself, but even her fingers couldn’t move, she could only sigh, she fell into a deep sleep with her sore body and hoarse voice.

Early in the morning, when the time came, Yan Xianchuan’s biological clock woke her up. She opened her eyes, before the memories of yesterday returned to her mind, she felt a warm body next to her hand.

Yan Xianchuan scrambled to get up, she found it was Lu Mingqiu, a thin blanket covered her waist and abdomen, revealing purple and red bruises on her body, it didn’t look like it was caused by bumping, nor did it look like mosquito bites, it was like… like…

A word was about to come out of her lips, she opened her mouth, as the memories came back, her brain crashed.

The person on the bed was still sleeping, she got up with a loud movement, she didn’t wake her up, she just frowned.

There were also some large and small finger marks on her body, these marks were like poisonous thorns, piercing Yan Xianchuan’s eyes, she didn’t dare to look, she hurriedly got out of bed and went into the bathroom.

She was in a daze.

She washed herself and brushed her teeth in an orderly manner, her movements were meticulous, the same as before, but her mind was already lost in thought.

How could this be?

She sent a message to Lu Mingqiu because she didn’t know how to solve it, but the other party always had a good idea, and the Resistance was a big family, they would definitely be able to relieve the effects of the drug.

Yan Xianchuan brushed her teeth in a daze, the bathroom mirror was covered in a layer of white mist from the steam, it vaguely reflected her appearance, it reflected her hand.

She just glanced at it carelessly, and some indescribable images flashed through her mind.

Surprisingly, she didn’t feel any disgust or aversion.

She shook her head, she shook off these images, she washed her face and then washed her hands, the warm water flowed over her fingertips, Yan Xianchuan’s gaze was empty, she thought of some things she shouldn’t have thought of.

She quickly shook her hands, she didn’t dare to stay in the bathroom for long, she randomly wiped the water off her body, she wrapped the towel around her wet hair and rubbed it a few times, then she put on the pajamas provided by the bathroom and walked out.

The person lying on the bed was already sitting up, she was wrapped in a blanket, only her shoulders and calves were exposed.

Her expression was very calm, she met Yan Xianchuan’s gaze and said softly, “Are you feeling okay? Are you feeling any discomfort or aftereffects?”

Her voice was also a little hoarse, although her tone was calm, but her voice was low and soft.

Yan Xianchuan met her gaze, her fingertips trembled slightly.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say, she could only answer the other person’s question, “I’m fine.”

Lu Mingqiu clearly saw a faint blush slowly appearing on her face. The color was very light, but Yan Xianchuan’s skin was very white, even the faintest color still looked very bright.

“I originally wanted to send you to the base, but the journey was too far, I was afraid something would happen, so I had to solve it this way, fortunately, nothing else happened.” she said, in a flat tone, as if she was talking about the weather, “Don’t worry about it.”

Her collarbone was red, it was half-hidden, half-exposed, as if the person who had left this mark liked it here, so they had kissed it repeatedly, forming such obvious redness.

“I’m going to take a bath too.” Lu Mingqiu said.

Yan Xianchuan just stared blankly as she got out of bed and stumbled unsteadily, she moved into the bathroom in an unnatural posture.

If it had been normal, Lu Mingqiu would have been injured and unable to move, she would definitely have gone to help her, but this time, she watched helplessly as the other party walked past her, but she didn’t dare to reach out, her feet rubbed against the floor, she stepped back and made way.

She lowered her head, she felt like she had done something wrong.

But this caused Yan Xianchuan’s gaze to fall only on the other party’s calves, she clearly saw a tooth mark on her ankle.

No one would bite their own ankle, it was obvious who had created this masterpiece.

Yan Xianchuan closed her eyes, she kept condemning herself in her heart.

Lu Mingqiu briefly explained the reason, it was understandable, if she could have used other methods, she wouldn’t have had to come in person.

She had good intentions and expressed her willingness to let it go.

It wasn’t something you could just turn the page on… At least in Yan Xianchuan’s understanding, in her simple view of love, which she hadn’t experienced but understood, this was something you could only do with a lover.

In today’s society, her thoughts were like the kind of pure innocence that only an antique from hundreds of years ago could have, it was outdated, it was a rotten idea that should be nailed into a coffin.

Contemporary thought is open, it advocates for living in the moment, enjoying life, even if you’re a certain age and haven’t had proper exercise, people will be surprised and laugh at you if you say it out loud.

When she was unconscious, it was Lu Mingqiu who was conflicted, now she was awake, and it was she who was conflicted.

Yan Xianchuan didn’t even know what she was worried about, her heart was a mess, it was a situation she had rarely encountered since she was born.

Not long after, Lu Mingqiu came out, she saw that the person was still standing in the same place as when she had gone in, her head was lowered, her face was obscured.

“You must have a lot to say, sit down first, don’t stand, we can talk slowly.”

Yan Xianchuan didn’t answer, but she moved her feet, she sat down on the chair slowly, but she was still looking down, as if she didn’t dare to look at her.

Lu Mingqiu found it funny, she curled her lips, but she quickly pressed them down, it wasn’t appropriate to smile at this time.

“Then I’ll speak first.”

“It was my own decision, so you don’t have to think too much. This was also an accident.” she said. “Xiao Shu’s name is Shu Mingyu, she’s from a local family in Nanjin City, our identities are not clear, but it’s not difficult to guess that they are big surnames, she must have planned this beforehand, so she could deliberately approach you when you had some alone time.”

“I’ve already asked Black to monitor her movements. She’s still acting as if nothing happened and continuing to film.”

Lu Mingqiu observed her expression, but she couldn’t see much because the other party was looking down, so she had to say, “Let’s put her aside for now, I have a question for you.”

Yan Xianchuan was like a clockwork machine that hadn’t been oiled yet, she slowly raised her head.

Their eyes met, and the person’s face slowly turned red again.

So innocent? This was something she hadn’t expected. She thought that someone like Yan Xianchuan, a typical mental patient, wouldn’t have the concept of shame at all, otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to sing and recite poetry in public.

Lu Mingqiu controlled her expression, she slowed her voice and asked, “Do you think what happened last night will have a negative impact on you? We’re considered friends, I don’t want this to put a strain on our relationship.”

For the first time, Yan Xianchuan felt as if her mouth had become a broken vessel, unable to form words. She shook her head and simply replied, “No.”

“That’s good.” Lu Mingqiu finally breathed a sigh of relief, she smiled.

Yan Xianchuan quickly looked away again, as if she was a radiant god, and she was a ghost who should be killed, she couldn’t be in the same room as her.

But as she avoided her gaze, she saw a torn white cheongsam lying on the floor on the other side of the bed, the orchids on it were torn and tattered, it was obviously unwearable.

Lu Mingqiu followed her gaze and said with a smile, “That’s a costume, it’s okay, I’ll just ask the crew to make another one.”

Her smile was relaxed, Yan Xianchuan caught a glimpse of it, but she found it particularly annoying.

How could she be so nonchalant, so composed, as if they hadn’t been sleeping in bed last night, but had been playing chess for half the night and discussing mathematical theories for half the night.

Only she was the one who was out of her mind, she was in a panic.

“I’ll go back to my room and change clothes first, do you want to have breakfast together?” Lu Mingqiu got up and said.

She was also wearing the hotel’s pajamas, the collar was loose, revealing the hickeys.

Yan Xianchuan hadn’t eaten dinner, and she had been tossing and turning all night, her stomach was already empty.

When the other party asked, she originally wanted to refuse, but she changed her mind and said “Okay.”

“Then I’ll see you in ten minutes.” Lu Mingqiu said, she pushed open the door and walked out.

Yan Xianchuan nodded, she didn’t say anything, her gaze fell lightly on the bite mark on her ankle, she didn’t avoid it anymore.