Late Night Bookstore - Chapter 15

The sounds of fireworks echoed everywhere, bidding farewell to the old year. After midnight, the explosions of fireworks intensified, turning the once sparse pops into an overwhelming, continuous roar. Zhou Ze blew on his nails, indifferent to the commotion outside. It didn’t concern him. He had no real home. While technically, he did have a “home” now, he didn’t want to go back.

Many people, at some point in their lives, have entertained the thought of how they might live differently if they were given the chance to be reborn. Grandiose words, bold proclamations, and disdain for the past are often expressed in these imaginings. But when one truly returns from the brink of death, all those past aspirations and dreams begin to seem childish—much like when a kindergarten teacher asks the children what they want to be when they grow up, and they enthusiastically reply: scientists, doctors, astronauts, soldiers…

Dreams are always idealized, while reality is, though not entirely harsh, undeniably limited. The passion that drives a person is finite.

Sometimes, simply being able to breathe, to hear the sounds around you, to sit idly by and pass the time without purpose—that might be what true tranquility felt like.

Xu Qinglang stayed overnight at his shop again. Zhou Ze heard the sound of him locking up next door. Xu Qinglang had claimed to own over twenty properties, but Zhou Ze knew the truth—his parents were still in that shop. Family, after all, should stick together, especially during New Year, which holds even greater significance.

Outside, it started to rain. The damp air seeped into the room, creating a slight sense of oppression. Zhou Ze’s phone rang—it was his wife calling.

“Hello,” Zhou Ze answered.

“Are you asleep?” asked Dr. Lin.

Zhou Ze thought her question was absurd. If I were asleep, who would be answering your call? A ghost? No, wait… There’s something odd about that. He leaned back slightly in his chair, his mind wandering to the image of Dr. Lin poking his chest and playfully calling him, “You silly ghost…”

For the first time, he realized how enticing the truth could be.

Perhaps it was boredom, or maybe he was just idle, but Zhou Ze found his thoughts wandering, far and wide.

“Not yet,” Zhou Ze replied.

Creek…

Dr. Lin pushed the shop door open and walked in. She held a red umbrella, wearing leather pants and a white sweater, her hair cascading over her shoulders.

Zhou Ze, momentarily forgetting to put down his phone, just stared at her. This woman… She was truly beautiful.

Her presence always gave him the feeling of “If only we could meet for the first time again,” a sudden, striking beauty that pierced into the heart of any man.

“Are you afraid I’ll be lonely and cold by myself?” Zhou Ze stood up and poured her a glass of water. After all, she was the mistress of the place. In fact, the money Xu Le had used to open the bookstore had come from her family.

Dr. Lin took the water, shook her head, and remained silent.

Though they were married, their relationship felt like that of two strangers—awkwardly familiar, yet distant. They were in a space more uncomfortable than even close friends, trapped in an emotional limbo.

Moving forward was hard; stepping back, even harder.

“Let’s take a walk,” Zhou Ze suggested. The room felt stifling, and he certainly wasn’t going to invite Dr. Lin to his upstairs sleeping space. Even if she were in the mood for something spontaneous, the sight of the freezer upstairs would likely prompt her to call a mental hospital to have him committed.

“It’s raining,” Dr. Lin pointed out.

“Just a light drizzle, it’s fine,” Zhou Ze waved it off, maintaining a carefree air.

……………

The rain had worsened—far more than just a drizzle. Zhou Ze, who had confidently left without even taking an umbrella, was now drenched like a wet dog. Dr. Lin stood nearby, still holding her umbrella. Zhou Ze had declined her offer to share it. After all, if you commit to playing it cool, you’ve got to see it through, no matter how soaked you get.

Shivering as he wiped his wet hair, Zhou Ze wasn’t particularly cold—he could handle the chill. But Dr. Lin, despite being under an umbrella and barely wet, was visibly trembling.

They found shelter at a bus stop, protected from most of the rain, though the chilly night wind still cut through the air.

This moment, in theory, should have been perfect for cultivating intimacy—a romantic night in the rain, with lingering glances and soft words. But instead, the two stood in silence.

Zhou Ze lit a cigarette, and Dr. Lin stood quietly beside him. One was avoiding something, while the other simply resisted any deeper connection. They were mismatched from the start. Forced connections, after all, only result in discomfort for both.

Zhou Ze found himself quietly blaming Xu Le. If that coward had just taken the initiative after getting married, maybe all these complications wouldn’t exist now. Even if Dr. Lin had ended up with a child, her allure would still remain, perhaps even enhanced. That way, Zhou Ze could have simply gone along with the flow, avoiding this current impasse.

Yet, to be fair, blaming Xu Le wasn’t entirely right. If Zhou Ze himself had been more assertive that night, would Dr. Lin have fought back and cried “assault” before calling the police? Would she have had him arrested for something indecent?

The rain continued to fall. Zhou Ze flicked his cigarette onto the ground.

“Did you drive here?”

“I took a taxi,” Dr. Lin replied.

“I’ll take you home.”

“Okay.”

No need to dwell on how this ridiculous, sentimental walk on New Year’s Eve began. What mattered now was ending it, which they both silently agreed was the right decision. They hailed a ride-sharing car and sat quietly in the back seat.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived. Zhou Ze got out with Dr. Lin, and the driver settled the fare and drove away.

Home was just upstairs, but neither of them moved to go in. The scene resembled that of young lovers standing outside a girl’s house, awkwardly lingering, unsure how to say goodbye.

But the atmosphere lacked the intensity of first love. It felt more like an unsalted, bland soup—tasteless, but a waste to throw out.

“Aren’t you coming up?” Dr. Lin asked.

“No, not now. Maybe later. We should deal with our… situation.”

Dr. Lin understood the implication behind Zhou Ze’s words. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

Zhou Ze chuckled. He reached out, intending to pat her on the shoulder, but when his hand touched her, a sudden impulse overcame him, and he pulled her into an embrace.

Dr. Lin stiffened at first, but she didn’t resist.

They stood close together, though the embrace wasn’t particularly intimate. Given their relationship, it felt more formal than anything else.

She smelled nice, like a delicate fragrance lingering on her skin. Zhou Ze wondered which body wash she used—it was very pleasant.

“I’ve always been curious, do you have someone else in your heart?” Zhou Ze asked, then added, “That ‘someone’ could be a man or a woman.”

“Yes.” Dr. Lin was honest, answering without hesitation.

Before, her husband’s timidness had evoked pity from her. Now, as her husband had seemingly changed into a different person, which allowed her to let go of some burdens.

“Oh,” Zhou Ze muttered, glancing upward as if checking to see if some cosmic joke was playing out above him. He felt a twinge of disappointment. It wasn’t love, not even strong affection. In fact, they weren’t even that close. But this woman was still, nominally, his wife. Yet, in the end, he had been cheated on.

As long as you’re a man—or rather, as long as you’re male—finding out you’ve been cheated on stings.

“I’m sorry.” It was her second apology.

Zhou Ze released her and they slowly stepped apart.

“No need for apologies. Makes things awkward,” Zhou Ze said, leaning against a nearby stone bench under a small overhang, shielding him from the rain.

“I’ll give you some more money. You can use it to open another bookstore,” Dr. Lin said, then added another “I’m sorry.”

Zhou Ze considered making a grand gesture, like waving off the offer, saying he didn’t need the money. But then he thought of his freezer and the life that lay ahead for him. He realized he couldn’t bring himself to refuse the compensation.

What if…

What if this woman took it seriously and felt that giving money was an insult to herself, what if she really refused to give any compensation?

“Let’s talk about it later,” Zhou Ze shrugged. “That guy… What’s he like?”

“He’s very handsome, in my eyes,” Dr. Lin responded.

So it was a man. That hurt. Another stab to the heart.

If it had been a woman, it might have been easier to swallow…

Zhou Ze felt like the intensity of photosynthesis¹ above his head had somehow increased.

“There’s no chance for us, is there?” Zhou Ze asked, instantly regretting the question. He tried to justify it in his head as asking on behalf of Xu Le, whose body he now occupied. He owed it to Xu Le, right?

“No chance,” Dr. Lin replied firmly, without hesitation.

This woman was a surgeon, and her manner of speaking was as sharp as her scalpel—decisive and direct. Just like in surgery, where prolonging the cut only increased the patient’s suffering, she was applying the same principle to their relationship.

“Alright then, fine. We’ll live our lives. Go deal with your parents,” Zhou Ze said, feeling a bit irritated.

Dr. Lin nodded and turned to walk into the building.

Zhou Ze stood up, ready to hail a ride home. Just then, his phone rang—a call from an unfamiliar number.

“Hello?”

“Sir, I’m the driver from earlier.”

“Oh? What’s up?” Zhou Ze was a bit surprised. He recognized the voice of the driver from before.

“You left a bag on the back seat, and I’m bringing it back to you.”

“Oh, thank you.”

The car pulled up again outside the building, and the driver handed over a woman’s handbag through the window.

“Check it over.”

“Okay.”

Zhou Ze didn’t hesitate to open the bag. Inside, there was only a phone, a wallet, a charging cable, and some tissues.

When he opened the wallet, Zhou Ze froze.

His eyes locked onto a photo in one of the wallet’s compartments.

It was a photo of a much younger Dr. Lin, looking somewhat… innocent, dressed in an ill-fitting white lab coat. The man standing next to her, though… there was something unsettlingly familiar about him.

Zhou Ze stared at the picture for a long moment before recognizing it.

It was him.

The photo had been cropped, likely from a group picture, isolating just the two of them.

“Is there anything missing?” the driver asked, still watching from his car.

“Yeah, all good. Thanks again.”

The driver drove away.

Zhou Ze continued looking at the photo. He hadn’t even thought to call Dr. Lin to tell her he had her bag.

Some memories that weren’t exactly buried but were somewhat overlooked began to surface.

He vaguely recalled, five or six years ago, being assigned a group of medical students for their internships. One of the students had been a girl with the surname Lin. The girl in the photo… Looked a lot like her.

Girls really do change a lot as they grow up, Zhou Ze thought, a smile playing on his lips. Dr. Lin had such a naive and cute phase back then. Who would have thought that six years later, she had grown into such a beautiful woman? He really hadn’t noticed the potential for this girl to develop at all.

At the time, he had been dismissive of the interns, using them as mere “medical assistants” to help him out. He’d never paid much attention to them personally.

Shaking the wallet in his hand, Zhou Ze muttered to himself, “Damn, no wonder you were almost thirty and still single.”

This time, he wasn’t cursing Xu Le—he was cursing himself.

“My eyes… Were really blind…”

Zhou Ze opened his hand and stretched lazily.

The one who put the green hat on himself was actually himself.

In the early hours of the New Year, Zhou Ze looked up at the sky and chuckled.

He solemnly patted his chest and said with conviction: “Xu Le, you are truly my good brother! I will take care of your wife, so don’t worry.”

TL Notes:

1. Implies that he is “wearing a green hat” which is an expression when a woman cheats on her husband or boyfriend because the phrase sounds similar to the word for cuckold.