I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 73

Chapter 73: Not Covetous, Not Wrathful (6)

That evening, I had Tong Xiao’s tutoring session.

I decided to attend and used the landline to call my mom, telling her not to prepare dinner for me.

As soon as she answered, Mom launched into a tirade, scolding me for not answering my phone and making her worry sick.

After offering a few placating words, she added, “Xiao Fang waited for you at home for ages. He just left.”

What is this, some melodramatic TV drama? I thought. The male lead always arrives one step too late.

Mom sighed. “Xiaomeng, what exactly are you up to?

“Thank goodness I’m your mother. If I were Xiao Fang’s mother, I wouldn’t want such a willful daughter-in-law.

“If you don’t want to get married, just say so properly! What’s with running away like that? You’re so immature.”

You’re calling me immature? I thought to myself. The harsh things you said to Dad during your arguments almost made me want to kick you out of the house for Grandma’s sake!

And if I’m immature, what about your son-in-law? He extorted thirty thousand yuan from me!

Besides, my “antics” aren’t just about the wedding—you need to dig deeper and understand the underlying meaning!

It was the male lead’s arrogance, the female lead’s insecurity, a series of accumulated misunderstandings, and a touch of divine intervention that conspired to temporarily erase me from the scene!

But Mom, being a science major, probably wouldn’t grasp literary analysis, so I didn’t argue. I grabbed a pastry and rushed to the Litop Training Center to tutor Cinderella.

Men might slip through my fingers, but mathematical knowledge was something I absolutely had to retain.

The moment I entered the classroom, Ge Chunchun approached me, eager to chat. “Senior, why didn’t you come last time?

Let me tell you, Tong Xiao hasn’t been herself lately.”

“Are people complaining?”

“Not exactly.

Classes are still running smoothly, but she looks terrible.

Do you think she’s got something on her mind?”

“Can’t you see my face looks terrible too?”

“Oh, right!”

Ge Chunchun stared at me for a moment, then muttered to herself, “Maybe it’s the bad air quality these past few days?

I should ask Senior Brother for some of his experimental facial cream.”

Hey! Why is Tong Xiao’s pallor attributed to inner turmoil, while mine is blamed on the air? Don’t I deserve to have my own troubles?

Mouth full of bread, I pulled out my textbook and quietly worked through two problems.

For the second problem, I remembered Fang Congxin had explained the solution to me. I flipped open my notebook, the dense, tiny script he’d written momentarily lost me in thought.

I snapped back to reality when a sudden wave of gasps erupted around me. Looking up, I saw Tong Xiao had brought Fang Congxin into the classroom.

With lightning reflexes, I slithered under my desk.

Ge Chunchun tugged at my arm. “Senior, Senior! Come on out! Look who’s here! It’s Big Brother! Tong Xiao really kept her word—she actually brought Big Brother!”

I kept swatting her hand away. “It’s cooler under here. Let go!”

Ge Chunchun leaned down, a puzzled expression on her face. “Senior, you’re so hot-blooded, even in December!”

Reluctantly, I crawled out, grabbed a massive textbook, and held it up like a shield, peeking at the pair from behind its pages.

Just two months ago, I had scrutinized them like this, convinced they were a perfect match. Little did I know how quickly things could change, how unexpectedly hearts could shift.

Tong Xiao delivered the simplest of introductions: “We’ve invited Senior Fang Congxin to teach today. Let’s give him a warm welcome.”

Ge Chunchun was beside herself with excitement, whispering in my ear, “Should we ask for his autograph later?”

“Why would we need his autograph?” I asked.

“Seriously? He’s Tong Xiao’s teacher—our academic ‘grandmaster’! Plus, he’s Professor Fang’s son! Isn’t he practically the living lucky charm for The Beauty of Mathematics?

And since my OTP is finally making an appearance, not getting a signed copy would be a betrayal of my own fandom!”

I wanted to crush her delusions on the spot and serenade her with “The Truth Is False.”

But that was just a thought. In reality, I said, “Well, congratulations on finally getting your ship to sail.”

I couldn’t tell if Fang Congxin noticed my ostrich-like attempt to hide my feelings, but he proceeded with the lecture as usual.

It was the textbook-perfect kind of lecture—no “Imagine Liu Haoran…” scenarios—so traditional I almost fell asleep. The textbook propping up my line of sight nearly crashed into the classmate in front of me.

Half-dreaming, half-awake, I fumbled with my book, nearly dropping it several times. I accidentally glanced at the lectern, and my eyes locked with Fang Congxin’s. On a whim, I tossed the book aside and sprawled out on my desk to sleep openly.

Yes, I’m going to bask in this favor and act like a pampered child. Let’s see if you dare call on me.

He didn’t.

He truly was Scaredy Fang.

But I didn’t dare look up either.

Ge Chunchun was right—my temper ran too hot. The twin heat sources radiating from the lectern had me sweating already.

Ge Chunchun, ever the terrible teammate, chimed in, “Senior, wake up! Big Brother’s been giving you the evil eye for ages. He’s been staring at you the whole time.”

I muttered through my closed eyes, my face pressed against the desk, “He’s probably staring at you.”

“Now that you mention it… yeah, maybe you’re right.”

The class ended without incident.

Stuck in that rigid position for so long, I had to secretly stretch my stiff shoulders.

To my surprise, Ge Chunchun actually dragged me to Fang Congxin for an autograph. I protested frantically, but she tugged me along, insisting: “Out of everyone in our class, Senior, you’re the one Tong Xiao worries about most, so you need the carp spirit’s blessing the most. For the honor of the Exam God, you don’t get to refuse!”

Several other fellow sufferers chimed in, pulling at me too. “Yeah, if you pass, you gotta come back and make an offering!”

The fan group was truly terrifying.

I was being jostled through the crowd, squeezed between people as I waited for Fang Congxin to sign an autograph.

Since he’s signing indiscriminately anyway, I thought, why not draft an IOU and have him sign that? At least I’d get my thirty thousand yuan back.

Ge Chunchun was up next. “Hey, Master,” she said, “can you sign ‘May you pass every exam’?”

Fang Congxin signed it mechanically, like a writing machine.

Ge Chunchun then gushed, “Can I take a photo with you and Tong Xiao?”

Tong Xiao immediately claimed she needed to use the restroom.

Ge Chunchun awkwardly stood aside.

Now it was my turn.

Fang Congxin looked up at me, his eyes filled with a pitiful, aggrieved expression, but he didn’t say anything.

Ge Chunchun prodded my back from behind. I said expressionlessly, “Oh, just sign something.”

“Sign what?”

I thought for a moment and said, “I can’t think of any particularly brilliant blessings. How about ‘Fang Congxin is a total jerk’?”

The crowd gasped.

Ge Chunchun jumped up and down behind me, yelling, “Senior, are you still half-asleep?”

But to everyone’s surprise, Scaredy Fang meticulously wrote it out, stroke by stroke.

Ge Chunchun went wild. “Grandmaster’s temper is way too good!”

“Can I be this capricious too?”

“Senior Fang, could I get an autograph that says ‘Ge Chunchun, the most beautiful in the world’?”

Scaredy Fang replied, “How about we change that?”

“Why?” Ge Chunchun asked.

Scaredy Fang glanced at me and said, “Because in my heart, my girlfriend is the most beautiful.”

Ge Chunchun clutched her chest dramatically.

For some reason, in that moment of vanity and lightheartedness, I remembered a joke:

甲 (Jia) noticed 乙 (Yi) going to the busiest restaurant at peak hours, eating, wiping his mouth, and slipping away in the chaos.

乙 decided to try the same trick, but got caught and beaten up.

Jia protested, “Why are you only hitting me?”

The others replied, “Because Yi is our boss!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought.

My laughter seemed to give Fang Congxin some kind of permission. He grabbed my hand and bolted away with me.

“We still have class!” I called out as we ran.

“I’ll make it up to you later!”

“But my backpack is still there!”

“We’ll come back for it later.”

I didn’t know if Ge Chunchun’s “couple dreams” had shattered, nor where Fang Congxin was dragging me.

But we were used to night runs, and my stamina kept pace, so I let him pull me along.

When Fang Congxin finally stopped, I looked up, panting.

Huh, a hotel?

“Lin Meng,” Fang Congxin said, “let’s go to sleep.”

Still catching my breath, I asked, “Do you want to hear another joke?”

He shook his head. “No more jokes. Just sleep.”

“But it’s still early.”

“Sleep, Lin Meng.”

“I just remembered I haven’t had dinner yet.”

“Sleep. Lin Meng.”

The way he emphatically said “sleep” four times the other day and the way he’s begging me like a puppy today with those four “sleeps” definitely mean different things.

Dream on! I gave you thirty thousand yuan. You think you can sell yourself too? What kind of losing deal is that?

“Could I sell myself instead?” Fang Congxin asked. “We can call the thirty thousand yuan ‘whore money.'”

As if! I thought. For thirty thousand yuan, I could hire Liu Haoran!

Seeing my silence, he doubled down, adding, “For thirty thousand yuan, you can have all my body parts. My eyes, nose, ears, heart—oh, wait, you already took my heart—everything. Deal?”

Where did you suddenly learn to talk like that? You’re making my heart race.

“I was just so angry when I got your money. It felt like you were cutting me off for good, so I couldn’t resist trying to get back at you.”

“Who knew you were so rich?”

He looked at me innocently. “Did you ask Auntie for this money? She barely acknowledged me this afternoon—probably still mad at me.”

Mom may claim she wants to be Fang Congxin’s real mother, but in practice, no matter how much I act up, she always firmly stands by my side. What a two-faced, yet undeniably good, mother she is.

Fang Congxin tugged my arm. “Lin Meng, I’ve developed a trauma around proposing. Can you propose next time? I don’t have many requirements—just take me to the civil affairs bureau whenever you’re ready.”

He pointed at the security booth nearby. “You used to say you liked me just a little bit more. Now I’ll tell you: if your affection for me is like this booth—small and modest—then my love for you is like—” He pointed at the pitch-black sky—”the entire universe.”

Fang Congxin poured out sweet words as if they cost nothing, leaving me momentarily stunned.

When he proposed the day before yesterday, I’d assumed he was just improvising on a whim. After all, when we were together before, I never felt like he loved me that much.

How could he suddenly be so hopelessly in love with me after just one day? How did this kneeling, humbled girl suddenly rise to her feet?

Men certainly know how to use their heads when it comes to getting women into bed.

“We’ve known each other for less than three months,” I said. “Have you been staging the Big Bang of the universe during this time?”

He pulled me into his arms. “Three months? Nonsense, silly. I’ve probably been in love with you for as long as the history of the Chinese nation.”

“If you’re going to sweet-talk me, at least make it plausible. My singlehood has lasted just as long as the nation’s history, yet you never came looking for me before?”

Fang Congxin looked genuinely aggrieved as he patted my head. “I did come looking for you! Back in our senior year of high school, I shared a bunch of study materials with you on Weibo.”

“Huh?”

I thought for a moment. “Wait… could you be… him?”

Back in my senior year, my Weibo username was “Did You Pass Math Today?” My daily task was to answer “No” there. Then some clueless guy with the username “Did You Get a Perfect Score in Math Today?” started liking all my posts every day.

I clicked on his profile out of curiosity, only to find it completely empty—like a zombie account. Did he deliberately create a new account just to annoy me? I wondered. How could anyone have so much free time?

So I didn’t hold back and sent him a barrage of private messages, cursing him out. For every like he gave, I fired back with a curse. This went on for a few days, and just as I was about to block him, he sent me several files.

I figured it was a virus, so I didn’t download it or even look at it.

If I had, I might have become a mediocre student at Peking University.

A few more days passed, and the pressure of senior year was at its breaking point. I didn’t have time to scroll through Weibo anymore. By the time I logged back in, everyone was celebrating wildly after the gaokao.

I remember the first thing I did was change my Weibo username. The second thing was to post a love declaration, @ing Xu Zheng.