I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 59

Chapter 59: No Tattling (Part 2)

To demonstrate my parents’ commitment to my education, I dressed to the nines the next evening, fully armed with confidence, and waited at home for Fang Congxin to pick me up.

The moment Fang Congxin saw me, he quipped, “Are you getting married dressed like that? I’m so sorry I didn’t dress more formally today. Next time you want to tie the knot, give me a heads-up!”

The memory flashed through my mind of congratulating my parents on their “hundred years of wedded bliss” at the airport. I silently mused that Fang Congxin and I, aside from our IQs, were perfectly matched in every other way. His remark, rounded up, was practically a proposal! This once-in-a-lifetime moment deserved fireworks, but I desperately suppressed the mental display, climbing into the car with a dark expression.

Ever since my last outburst over one of his jokes, Fang Congxin had developed a lingering “joke hangover.” He glanced at my face and asked, “I’m sorry, did I take the joke too far again?”

I waved dismissively. “It’s fine. Driver, take me to meet the groom.”

As we arrived at the school, my heart pounded with anxiety. In the past, I’d always secretly peeked through windows to gauge my parents’ moods, deciding whether to flee immediately and make up for it with a lavish apology later, or to unleash a preemptive scolding to let them blow off steam first. Now, suddenly thrust into a different role, I still found myself cautiously peering around the classroom doorway, assessing the situation like a spy.

Ke Lu rushed out. “Sis, you’re here so early!”

He glanced at my embroidered qipao. “Sis, are you getting married?”

Get out of here! This is called mature beauty!

What does a kid like you even know?!

He brushed past me and looked at Fang Congxin. “Brother-in-law, why don’t you tell my sister to dress properly? I’m so embarrassed!”

Fang Congxin flicked him on the forehead. “Would you be any less embarrassed if your sister dressed differently?”

Ke Lu chuckled sheepishly. “Brother-in-law has a point.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “What ‘brother-in-law’? Did he give you a red envelope already? Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Lowering my voice, I glanced around and asked, “Where’s your class director?”

“My assistant class advisor is on the second floor. He said he saw you arrive and wants me to bring you over.”

The moment I heard the class director wanted to see me, my legs instinctively went weak. “Why does he want to see me alone? Did you do something wrong again?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I sounded exactly like my mom used to when she scolded me.

Ah, you only truly understand your parents’ sacrifices when you have children of your own.

Ke Lu’s thin eyebrows shot up into sharp angles, forming a perfect “8” shape. “Sis, this really isn’t my fault. You told me that if I ate spicy Chongqing noodles, my lips would swell. So I tried it, and the assistant advisor noticed. Is your ‘spicy flower-crushing’ trick not so reliable after all?”

“Nonsense,” I retorted, my voice tinged with disbelief. “This trick has worked everywhere else. There shouldn’t be any problem here. Who is this Assistant Class Advisor, anyway? Take me to meet him.”

So Ke Lu led Fang Congxin and me to the second-floor office.

Several teachers were still at their desks in the office.

Ke Lu called out from a distance, “Teacher Yuan—” My jaw dropped as I recognized a familiar face—the same dashing figure who had stood confidently at Berkeley University’s entrance just days before.

“Brother Fengfeng!”

My jaw dropped in shock. “You—you’re not supposed to be—” Before I could finish, Yuan Chongfeng clamped his hand over my mouth and dragged me out of the office, right in front of Ke Lu and Fang Congxin.

Standing under a crooked-necked tree on the playground, I blinked furiously to make sure the man facing me was indeed Yuan Chongfeng, my neighbor of many years. Only then did I manage to close my mouth. “Brother Fengfeng, aren’t you supposed to be working on your doctorate in Siberia?”

“Siberia?”

“Sorry, slip of the tongue.”

I glared at him. “So now Siberia is more important than Berkeley? Or maybe the real question is why you’re here at all? You were just posting photos from campus on Instagram a few days ago! What’s this all about?”

Yuan Chongfeng shrugged. “Oh, those were just old stock photos from years ago, to keep my parents from getting suspicious.”

“I said goodbye to my advisor and took a gap year.

When I came back to China, I didn’t know where to go. Just then, you asked me for advice about applying for graduate programs, so I figured I might as well come to Changning.

After a few idle days, I saw an online ad for a contract-based math competition teacher at Changning High School. The management wasn’t as strict as for teachers with permanent positions, so I sent in my resume and surprisingly got the job.

I’d been working there for a while when they said an Assistant Class Advisor was going on maternity leave for a few months and asked me to fill in temporarily.

But who could have guessed that just a few days into my new role, the Class Director would be hospitalized with appendicitis? That’s how things ended up the way you saw them, with me running the whole show by myself.

I wonder if the parents will make a fuss about me being an inexperienced Assistant Class Advisor and go complain to the principal.”

As I listened to him gloss over the details of finding work in Changning, skimming over his sudden return to China as if it were nothing, I realized he didn’t want to talk about it. I decided to play along. “No wonder I saw your name on the ‘Top Teachers’ list at the Litop Training Center.

At the time, I thought, ‘How could there be someone with the exact same name, photo, and experience?'”

“That was right after I got to Changning. I taught a few classes there to make ends meet.”

“I’m not teaching there anymore, since the school doesn’t require it anymore.”

“Litop probably hasn’t closed down yet, right?”

“With your dazzling resume hanging there like a golden signboard, how could they possibly take it down?”

“Brother Fengfeng…” I hesitated, swallowing a torrent of questions, and asked with genuine concern, “Where are you living now?”

“The school staff dormitory.”

“What about you?”

“I’m staying near Changning Park.”

“I’ve been looking for a new place recently, wanting to move out for more freedom. A real estate agent recommended the Hui Ju Su near Changning Park the other day. I haven’t checked it out yet—is it close to you?”

I exclaimed excitedly, “So close! So close! If you move there, we could see each other every day! Just like when we were kids! I could even bring you a bowl of braised pork like I used to—”

“Teacher Yuan.”

Ke Lu scurried over, his head bowed, followed by Fang Congxin, his face expressionless.

“What is it?” Yuan Chongfeng asked.

“Several parents have already arrived in the classroom. Would you like to go take a look?”

“Go ahead and get busy,” I said.

“You’re a parent too,” Yuan Chongfeng retorted, glancing at Ke Lu. “Where did you find this distant cousin?”

I patted Ke Lu’s fluffy head and said, “Haha, haha, just adopted a little brother.”

Yuan Chongfeng glanced up at Fang Congxin. “And this gentleman is—?”

“He’s my math tutor, Fang Congxin.”

Yuan Chongfeng extended a hand, smiling. “This is my first time at a parent-teacher conference where a parent brings their tutor along. Nice to meet you, I’m Yuan Chongfeng.”

Fang Congxin shook his hand. “No worries. It’s your first time, so it’s understandable you haven’t seen this before.”

Hearing his sarcastic tone, I worried Yuan Chongfeng might take offense and quickly changed the subject as we walked. “Brother Fengfeng, how did you notice Ke Lu’s swollen lips from eating spicy food?”

Yuan Chongfeng chuckled. “Have you forgotten? When you did the same thing as a kid, I had to warn you about the chili on your teeth so you could get away with it. I never imagined someone else would make the same mistake. I thought it might be one of your disciples—turns out I was right.”

Ke Lu and I both lowered our heads in embarrassment.

But Ke Lu was clearly just going through the motions. On one hand, his master had just made a fool of himself, so he no longer feared ridicule. On the other hand, having heard that Teacher Yuan was an old acquaintance of his master, he dashed toward the classroom with the energy of a Little Lee-zi sprinting into the streets.

Upon reaching the classroom, Yuan Chongfeng was immediately swarmed by newly arrived parents, surrounded three layers deep.

I stood outside the classroom, incessantly muttering to Fang Congxin to vent the tsunami of shock that had been building inside me all the way here: “Oh my god, Brother Fengfeng actually came back to China without a word!

He used to say he’d never be a teacher again after his ‘work injury’ at my place!

He always said he hated being a teacher more than anything!

But he’s actually a teacher now!

Fang Congxin, do you have any idea how shocked I am?

It’s like… like… like if you went abroad and came back and I found you working as a stripper at a bar.

Wouldn’t that be shocking?!”

Fang Congxin glared at me. “Why is it such a big deal that he came back from overseas and became a teacher? If I come back, I have to become a stripper to get your attention?

Besides, what’s a college student like you doing hanging out at bars anyway?”

I craned my neck to peer into the classroom as I replied, “Aiya, I was just using a random example! If you think being a stripper is too scandalous, then you can come back and be a street vendor instead.

Either way, I’d be completely dumbfounded.

Let me tell you, Brother Fengfeng was like the Oriental Pearl Tower around our neighborhood—within a five-kilometer radius, at least.”

Every child who’s ever been beaten remembers the stinging pain accompanied by the words, “Look at Fengfeng!”

“To outsiders, he’s the epitome of academic excellence and virtuous conduct—humble and polite.”

As I finished reading, I overheard a parent in the front row talking to the poodle-haired woman next to her: “What’s going on with this school? Putting an inexperienced teacher in charge as class advisor? Do they even care about classroom management?”

If this kind of talk spread, parental anxiety could easily spiral, severely undermining Yuan Chongfeng’s ability to function. I quickly activated my PR plan, grabbing Fang Congxin and loudly proclaiming, “I heard Teacher Yuan graduated with top honors from a prestigious American university like Berkeley. Litop Training Center snapped him up right after graduation. He wouldn’t have come to Changning High School if they hadn’t made a special request.”

“Truth is, Teacher Yuan is an exceptional educator. He just got stuck filling in as class advisor because the original advisor had an emergency. They practically forced him into it for a few weeks.”

“Now’s the time to show Teacher Yuan our support. He’ll definitely pay more attention to Ke Lu later. Our Ke Lu’s math skills depend entirely on him!”

I tugged at Fang Congxin’s sleeve, earning a cool glance.

I pinched him, and he grudgingly muttered, “Really?”

“Yes!”

If I don’t butter him up now, when will I?

“I have three gift cards here. You should give them to him later.”

I pinched him again. Fang Congxin grudgingly replied, “Isn’t that unnecessary? The government forbids teachers from accepting gifts these days.”

“Fine, I won’t send the cards. How about I bring Teacher Yuan a pot of chicken soup tomorrow? Surely that’s acceptable.”

“I want some too—ow! Fine, go ahead and send it. It won’t kill him—or make him any prettier either!”

We put on a theatrical performance, like a comedy duo, raising our voices as if on stage. The parents in the front row immediately fell silent, exchanging furtive glances and coded signals.

As soon as our performance ended, Fang Congxin said, “This is blatant false advertising. What if he’s not actually that good?”

“What do you mean? He tutored me in math back then. Without him, I might not have even passed the high school entrance exam. Six years, Fang Congxin! Six whole years!” I emphasized, holding up six fingers.

Fang Congxin gave me a sidelong look and said, “Six years? How did you manage not to drive him insane?”

I elbowed him sharply, causing him to groan softly in pain, “Hey!”

“At least I’m your current one, right?” I teased.

“You’ve only known this ‘current’ teacher for a few days,” I joked, “while your ex was six years. How can those feelings even compare?”

He lowered his gaze to his shoes. I barely caught his mumbled, almost aggrieved, “I’ve been six years too.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what he’d said. Leaning against the doorway, probably bored, he tilted his head slightly and looked at me. “Let’s go back.”

“The parent-teacher conference hasn’t even started yet.”

“Look at this class—completely disorganized and undisciplined. I’m just helping him maintain order. If you need to leave, go ahead.”

“If you don’t leave, I’m leaving.”

His tone was slightly wheedling.

“Teacher Yuan, could you please move Li Huayi’s seat forward two rows for us?” a stout parent boomed.

“We want to move too!” Other parents chimed in enthusiastically.

Seeing that this wasn’t going to be a simple matter to resolve, and with no desire to ponder his motives, I brushed him off casually. “Mm-hmm. Bye.”

“Hey.”

“What now?”

I turned to see the two parents crowding around Yuan Chongfeng, my patience wearing thin.

“I’ll wait for you outside the school.”

“Oh, bye.”

Waving goodbye, I plunged into the chaotic flood of restoring order.