I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 43

The playful mood I had just a moment ago vanished completely. I lost my appetite for the game and began frantically patting Fang Congxin’s hand, saying, “Quick, chase that BMW in front!”

“What’s wrong? That’s a left turn; it will lead us out of the city,” Fang Congxin replied calmly.

I shouted, “So what if it goes out of the city? They already have the guts to cheat! Hurry, let’s catch them in the act!”

Fang Congxin’s reaction could be described in the most clichéd way possible: “his body trembled.” He quickly grabbed the steering wheel and stepped on the gas, launching the SUV forward like an arrow shot from a bow, zooming at F1 speed.

Heroic! While he was chasing, I reached for my backpack in the back seat. After rummaging for a while without finding my glasses case, I had no choice but to dump everything out in a panic and swiftly put on my glasses. Unfortunately, after the left turn, we found ourselves stuck behind a van, blocking our view of the BMW. Fang Congxin honked his horn twice, but the van didn’t seem to care, inserting itself as the third party between us and the BMW.

“What about that drone of yours?” I asked Fang Congxin.

“I didn’t bring it, but my car is equipped with a panoramic dashcam.”

“A dashcam might not provide a clear view.”

“Mine can,” Fang Congxin said. “I’ve modified my car, and the camera is extremely high definition. It can clearly see whether a mosquito is male or female.”

I was shocked by his meticulous care for his first love and momentarily lost my train of thought. Noticing my silence, Fang Congxin looked at me slowly and, with a slightly hoarse voice, asked, “Do you—do you still want to see?”

“Of course I want to see!”

He handed me his phone, and under his guidance, I awkwardly retrieved the video file saved to his cloud. Fang Congxin was particularly gentle this time, speaking softly and not scolding me for being clumsy, which gave me a faint sense of the spring breeze that Tong Xiao had mentioned. But I didn’t have time to savor that breeze—I was busy with something important.

I didn’t know the driver of the red convertible BMW, but the young man in the passenger seat, who had just been cozying up to the rich girl, looked like Zhao Xiaoxiao. After a quick mental comparison, I was about ninety percent sure it was him—he was my roommate Zhang Ziqin’s boyfriend. Although I had mentally prepared myself for a while, I was still stunned upon seeing the video. If even Zhao Xiaoxiao could cheat, I could no longer believe in love!

Zhang Ziqin and Zhao Xiaoxiao’s love story was quite passionate. Zhang Ziqin was a beauty from the Medical College; she only completed five years of elementary school, and since she started a year earlier, she was two years younger than us. She indeed had the kind of appearance reminiscent of Lin Daiyu. When she was first assigned to our dorm, my and Wang Ziqi’s wild ways were just starting to show. Adhering to the principle of self-preservation, we dared not speak out of turn in the dorm, always carefully protecting this naive little rabbit of hers while keeping an eye out for the wolves outside who were eyeing her hungrily.

It wasn’t until one day when she described in detail the dissection of a real rabbit at dinner that we realized she was actually a hardcore girl. From then on, we naturally let her be. After we did, Zhang Ziqin thrived, sharing with us the professors’ case study analyses in class, enthusiastically showing us images from the dermatology textbook, and educating us about condyloma acuminatum and flat warts, helping us quickly distinguish between them.

Wang Ziqi and I had grown accustomed to throwing up over everything by then, so I asked her firmly why we needed to be able to distinguish! Was she hinting at something? Zhang Ziqin innocently replied, “Having more skills is never a bad thing; it’s always good to learn more.” Then she picked up that book with its pages falling apart, each featuring a different decayed reproductive organ, to study. Originally, Zhang Ziqin was already quite a standout in our dorm, but after these years of textbook corrosion and the influence of Wang Ziqi and me, we subtly worried that our dorm atmosphere might be more suited to nurturing extravagant peonies rather than blossoming peach blossoms.

Just then, a senior from the Art Institute, who was studying painting and had a rather artistic vibe, boldly came after Zhang Ziqin. That senior was Zhao Xiaoxiao. True to his name, he truly embodied the role of a devoted boyfriend, fulfilling the role of a “24 Filial Piety Boyfriend.” He would haul water for the entire dorm on sunny days and bring umbrellas on rainy ones, delivering meat buns in the morning and chicken feet at night, allowing us single folks to experience the joys of having a boyfriend ahead of time. At the time, Zhang Ziqin remained indifferent to Zhao Xiaoxiao; we tried different approaches, but Zhang Ziqin would always say she felt nothing. We could only shamelessly share this quasi-boyfriend’s kind services through the cloud.

However, as is often the case, things took an unexpected turn. Later, Zhao Xiaoxiao decided to go all in and asked Zhang Ziqin for a confession on the lawn behind the school, preparing to set up a gigantic heart-shaped candle to create a romantic atmosphere. We all felt that Zhang Ziqin wouldn’t fall for such tricks, especially since heart-shaped candles had been criticized a thousand times in our dorm. We urged him to reconsider. Yet for reasons unknown, Zhao Xiaoxiao, with his unyielding courage, insisted on going through with his traditional masculine approach. Not wanting to spoil his plans, we had to figure out a way to get Zhang Ziqin to the spot.

The lawn was built against a slope, and the three of us originally intended to observe from a distance. However, it was so cold with strong winds that we reluctantly sheltered in a small cabin nearby, holding water cups and towels to comfort Zhao Xiaoxiao before he came back defeated. To our surprise, halfway through, someone came running towards us, shouting, “Run! The lawn is on fire!” We exchanged bewildered glances for about three seconds and then instinctively dashed against the flow of people towards the lawn. As we ran, we had already guessed what had happened. It was dry and dark, and a light breeze had blown over that row of candles, igniting the fallen pine needles, which then flared up into a raging fire.

The northern slope of the school was a scenic area with dense vegetation, and it caught fire quickly. By the time we arrived, that fire was tremendous. Oh my gosh, Zhao Xiaoxiao, you’re really playing with fire!We hurriedly soaked the towels in water, covering half our faces to shield against the smoke, and shouted desperately into the raging fire, “Zhang Ziqin! Zhao Xiaoxiao!” Fortunately, the school security had arrived. Since this was a key area for fire safety, they were well-equipped. On one side, security was setting up fire hoses to spray water upwards, while on the other, they were searching for any remaining individuals, instructing us to leave quickly.

We left crying and shouting, thinking we were helping our roommate find love, only to end up saving her skin instead. Everyone was quite emotional. Amid the chaos, Zhao Xiaoxiao appeared in front of us, carrying Zhang Ziqin in a rather awkward manner. Zhao Xiaoxiao explained that when he confessed, they were both turned away from the candles and didn’t notice the fire igniting behind them. In the rush to find the security to douse the flames, Zhang Ziqin had twisted her ankle, which explained their frantic state. After Zhao Xiaoxiao spoke, the three of us each took one of Zhang Ziqin’s arms and helped her down from Zhao Xiaoxiao’s back. If Zhao Xiaoxiao wanted to play “Do you want to date? The life-or-death kind,” we certainly wouldn’t agree to it.

Later, Zhao Xiaoxiao received a demerit from the school. Though, in his heart, he felt quite happy because after the fire incident, Zhang Ziqin had become very impressed with him, thinking that Zhao Xiaoxiao was a reliable person after all. Later on, Zhao Xiaoxiao treated all of us to a meal at the stir-fry section of the cafeteria. While the three of us were bewildered by Zhang Ziqin’s sudden change of heart, we still acknowledged their relationship. During the meal, we presented him with a big red sash that read “Arsonist of Romantic Hearts” in elegant script. Under our watchful eyes, he wore it for the entire meal.

This heartwarming scene was captured by some well-meaning onlookers, turned into a meme with the caption “Your love is like a fire,” and circulated widely both on and off campus. It led to whispers among newcomers about visiting the “Fiery Couple’s” place. Little did anyone expect that the arsonist would end up gaining such popularity! I was so frustrated my teeth hurt, unsure of what to do next—I just had Fang Congxin chase after the car. He weakly asked me, “Is it him?”

“99% chance it is.”

“Then should we still chase?”

“Well, what if there’s a 0.1% chance it’s not?”

This matter was not to be taken lightly.Fang Congxin fell silent, following the car without saying a word. After a short while, he turned the vehicle sharply into a narrow alley. “I just took a glance at the map. Taking this route will block them off,” he said as he pulled in the side mirrors and slammed on the gas. The thrill of speeding through that narrow path was exhilarating. I thought my life might only amount to shooting a light-hearted youth film, but unexpectedly, I found myself in the midst of an action-packed Hollywood blockbuster. At the end of the winding alley, a small delivery trike blocked the road.

I figured that in a Hollywood chase scene, it would lead to a parkour-style run of chasing back and forth, so I decisively jumped out of the car and ran toward the intersection. Just as I hesitated about which way to go, Fang Congxin grabbed my arm and said, “Wait here. That road doesn’t have any turns; as long as he doesn’t stop midway, he’ll have to pass through here.” I nodded, quickly mentioning that I was also quite familiar with this area and that I had a great sense of direction, then focused intently on the direction from which the car would be coming. Fang Congxin paused for a moment, then turned me around 180 degrees, saying, “It’s that way.”