I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 33

What did Zweig say again?

“At that time, she was still too young and did not know that the gifts fate provided already had their prices set in secret.”

Please carve this sentence on my tombstone. Then, light a candle for me in front of the tombstone.

Sorry, but please make my tombstone a bit larger because I have an ominous feeling that I will have many last words to engrave on it in the future. It would be best to make my tombstone a black stone pillar engraved with the Code of Hammurabi from Ancient Egypt, so that future generations can admire it for generations to come.

The next day, well before dawn, Fang Congxin suddenly called me, asking me to put on my sportswear and come downstairs to run.

The last time I was woken up by a ringtone to gather downstairs for running was during military training three years ago, so while he was speaking to me on the phone, I wondered if I had time-traveled. Then, as soon as I thought about time-traveling back to my first year in college and having to retake three years of math, I immediately snapped back to reality.

“I’ll give you five minutes, and after that, I’ll start calculating the tutoring fees.” Fang Congxin said loudly on the other end, like a Marine Corps instructor.

Without waiting for my response, he coolly hung up.

I brushed my teeth with one hand and combed my hair with the other, and while putting on my shoes with my feet, I managed to get everything done in three minutes, all in an organized and efficient manner.

These were skills I had developed back in high school; my old skills were still sharp! I patted myself on the back.

With swollen eyelids, I made my way to the small garden downstairs, where Fang Congxin was sitting on a rickety lounge chair, drinking water. Dressed in a blue sports outfit, with a phone armband and Bluetooth headphones, he looked like one of those disciplined and successful men you see on television, with a large villa or estate behind him. His face combined with that outfit made him seem like he was about to say, “Let’s buy up a piece of land next,” which was completely out of place in our community.

Noticing my sluggish gait as I walked in an S-shape yawning towards him, he waved dismissively and pointed to the 7th floor.

I looked at him, puzzled.

He beckoned me with his chin: “Your clothes are on backwards.”

Without any shame, I glanced at the 7th floor, considered the effort it would take to travel up and down seven flights of stairs, then let my eyelids droop and plopped down beside him, saying, “What do you want?”

“To run.”

“I know it’s running; my question is why do you want to drag me into this?”

“A good body is the foundation of revolution. If you want your math to pass, it’s equivalent to a revolution; shouldn’t you first earn a good foundation?”

“I have a pretty good foundation.” After saying that, I sneezed into the crisp morning air.

“Don’t you like running?””What sport do you like then? Yoga? Swimming? Ball games?”

“I like jumping chess, does that count?”

“Doesn’t count.”

I propped my chin up and asked him, “Is there a sport where you just lie in bed and don’t have to move at all?”

“There is. The morgue has some vacancies; shall I take you there to lie down?”

Saying this, he stood up. “If you don’t have a particular sport you like, then let’s go for a run. Conquering math is like running; it’s dull and requires endurance and persistence, until one day you suddenly understand and experience the joy in it.”

“I don’t want to. Conquering math has already cost me half my life; if running takes another half, I’ll be buried for good.”

“While you’re cleverly debating with me, fees have already been incurred.” He showed me his phone.

On his phone screen, there was a 3D rotating lock, with a string of continuously rolling numbers on the face of the lock.

“What is this?”

“A billing meter.”

“What on earth is that?”

“When I was young, I designed a timing device for eating for Abao, and I modified it into a billing meter a few days ago; it suits you perfectly.”

“Who is Abao?”

“My dog.” Fang Congxin said without the slightest burden.

I recalled Teacher Feng had mentioned that dog that eats from a trophy bowl and knows how to use a walkie-talkie, and I rolled my eyes: “Do you train dogs?”

“Essentially, it’s about the same. I have a bit of experience in training dogs.” He again placed the lock in front of me. “Look, what’s displayed up there is the money that’s being spent. You hand me your phone, and I’ll install one for you, so we can both see it synchronously. It’s open and transparent, a trustworthy transaction—there’s absolutely no shady business.”

I jumped up from my seat. “No way, I’m teaching math, not running!”

Fang Congxin pulled out a document from his phone again. “According to Article 5, Subsection 4 of the contract, time calculations are based on the second party; in Subsection 9, when there is a conflict of opinions between the two parties, it’s also based on the second party. So this matter is decided by me.”

“That’s a bully clause; I’m not studying anymore.”

“Not studying is fine, then I’ll just graciously accept the 1000 yuan deposit. I also saved on La Mer. Thank you, thank you.”

“No, I didn’t learn anything at all, so how can’t it be refunded?”

“It’s written in the contract.”

“Do you know about the Consumer Rights Protection Law? This is a bully clause; even if I signed it, it’s not valid.”

“Is that so? The clauses were drafted by our company’s legal department; if you have any objections, I can have our legal team explain it to you. Do you want me to call him? It’s a bit early right now—” he said shamelessly.

I crossed my arms. “Fang Congxin, are you digging a pit for me here?”

“Where?””What kind of pit is this? It’s at most just a small ditch; the real trench is behind!”

“……” I paused for a moment. “Didn’t you say you were helping me out of noble moral standards? Besides, my mom said your career is flourishing, so why come to me to extort money?”

“How much can you earn from a small business? There always has to be a pig ready for slaughter when you need it; don’t wait until there are no pigs and just sharpen your knife. Look, while you spend your time arguing with me, you’ve already earned enough for another breakfast.”

“……”

“Are we running or not?”

“Hey, I haven’t changed my clothes yet.” I lifted my leg and was ready to head upstairs.

Fang Congxin pulled me back: “It’s fine, there won’t even be a cat on the way.”

“Isn’t that bad? What if Haoran also goes running this early? What if we bump into each other?”

“Haoran hasn’t come to Changning, don’t worry.”

“But what if brothers William Chan, Jackson Yee, Leo Wu, Arthur Chen, Bai Jingting, Tom Hiddleston, Robert Downey Jr., and Tom Holland show up?”

“Relax, if you change into a wedding dress, they won’t come either.”

I said, “Have you heard of a theory?”

“I haven’t heard of it, and I’m not interested in hearing.”

“Come on, you’ll be interested once you listen. According to a report from a British media outlet, looking at handsome guys can protect your eyesight, relieve your emotions, and reduce the risk of vascular diseases and strokes, thereby extending your lifespan. Staring at a handsome guy for ten minutes a day is equivalent to 30 minutes of aerobic exercise, low-carbon and environmentally friendly, energy-saving and emission-reducing! Do you understand what that concept means?”

He didn’t respond.

I answered my own question and shouted, “Fang Congxin, look, you’re also a handsome guy. Why don’t we cancel this activity and just sit down facing each other for ten minutes? The effect would be about the same.”

“That doesn’t comply with the law of conservation of energy.”

“You see, this scientific conclusion is proposed by a British media outlet. Newton is British; rounding it off, this is basically a truth proposed by Newton. You have to listen to what Newton said.”

Fang Congxin clapped his hands: “What a logical genius! Even Newton’s coffin can’t cover this one.” After clapping, he looked at me with great pity: “This law of conservation of energy wasn’t Newton’s masterpiece; it was originally proposed by a German physicist.”

“Ha ha, they are all from the European Union.”

“The UK has exited the EU.”

“Not only are you good at math and physics, but you are also so knowledgeable about current affairs. You truly are a well-rounded talent.”

“Thank you, but I’m actually just average at running.” He pointed to his phone, “Are we still planning to discuss a few dollars? I’m not in a hurry; I’ll keep you company.”

I sighed and resigned myself to taking the first step.

He led me out of the community, and the breakfast stand of the nouveau riche outside hadn’t set up yet; even the streetlights at the intersection hadn’t been turned off, still casting a faint warm glow in the bright morning light.

What a pity! At this time, I could still be dreaming two more dreams!

As the saying goes, it’s better to believe there are ghosts in the world than to believe a man’s words.

When Fang Congxin said “I’m not that good at running,” it was probably the same as saying “Liu the chubby doesn’t understand sports.”

After running a few kilometers around Changning Park, as I lay down on an arch bridge spitting like an old dog, Fang Congxin remained unfazed, breathing evenly and running in place.

I gasped and said, “Are you… are you perhaps running a marathon?”

He stretched his long arms: “Not really. The chubby back then had to lose some weight, and you always have to pay a price.”Later, I ended up as neighbors with the fitness enthusiast Huang Tao, who knocked on my door every day to go for a run. However, this year, work has been too busy, and I haven’t run in a while, so my stamina has noticeably declined. But Lin Meng, you’ve become so weak; your brain is simple, but your limbs should at least be developed! Look, you’re almost developing bow legs!”

“Do you believe I’ve even trained myself to have sweeping legs?”

I was so exhausted that I collapsed onto the ground, without the strength to argue back. Since participating in the 800-meter run test in my freshman year, I haven’t run that long again; I nearly walked the last kilometer with Fang Congxin pulling me along.

“I suspect you are purposely inflating the teaching hours. Let me tell you, the last time I saw such a significant inflation, it was when the South-North Water Transfer Project was underway.”

Fang Congxin pulled me up: “Don’t sit down right away; let’s walk a bit first.”

I clung to the bridge railing: “If you make me move even one centimeter, I’ll jump off the bridge.”

He squatted down, his tone as patient as possible: “Come on, let’s walk. It’s not clean here either.”

I weakly waved my hand: “I’m a pretty cynical person, particularly fond of a vagrant lifestyle where the sky is my roof and the ground is my home. In my past life, I probably told jokes on the overpass, and who knows, in my next life, I might just be sticking films on the overpass. In this life, I just want to re-acquaint myself with my surroundings. You keep running.”

He looked at me with concern: “Are you coming down with a cold? Is your nose stuffy?”

I sniffed: “No, I just get like this when I run.”

“Oh—” he took a step back and quickly said, “Places like the bridge railings and pillars are the best spots for drunk men to urinate in the early hours of the morning. That area must have a strong smell of urine; you should really get up.”

I jumped up in place and kept wiping my face and hands, nearly rubbing off a layer of skin, while Fang Congxin squinted at me and said, “I was just joking; there’s no smell. But really, don’t just sit still after exercising.”

I paused and then charged at him, shouting, “I’ll kill you!”

After chasing him for five hundred meters, I collapsed into the grass of Changning Park like a car that had run out of power.

He was about to say something, and I rolled my eyes: “Even if you say I have dog poop on my back, I still won’t get up!”

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he said, “Look, the sunrise!”

What a load of nonsense; it was already bright outside.

He pulled me up, “Really, there’s a sunrise. If I’m lying, I’ll pay you fifty yuan; how’s that?”

“Fine.”

I stood up and looked in the direction he was pointing.