I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 32

Fang Congxin’s arrival was like an emperor suddenly descending from the heavens, causing my parents to bustle around in a flurry. Fang Congxin was overly attended to, and awkwardly glanced at me while fidgeting.

I was cracking melon seeds and took the opportunity to ask him, “Want some?”

He shook his head and, taking advantage of my parents being in the kitchen cutting watermelon and preparing honey water, said softly, “You still have time to snack on melon seeds?”

I replied, “A few days of wasting time is still just a few days.”

He pointed at my colorful face and said, “I thought you were at home jumping rope.”

I spat out a melon seed shell and said, “That could be considered an unconventional approach. But seriously, I’ve been learning tarot cards lately, flipping them over more than fifty times, and still haven’t managed to get a passing grade in math. However, with time, there will surely be a day when I get it! Besides, if the tarot doesn’t work, there’s I Ching Bagua, crystal balls, astrology, and the likes. Sooner or later, I will figure out how to pass math.”

Fang Congxin gave me a thumbs-up, saying, “I’ve never seen anyone so persistent as you.”

My mom came out holding the watermelon.

“What are you here for?” I asked, shifting my angle of questioning.

My mom kicked me lightly with her Foshan Shadowless Kick and said, “To see you, of course!”

Fang Congxin shook his head, “For math tutoring, remember?”

I recalled the day he hurriedly ran away and asked, “Did we agree on a tutoring session?”

Ignoring my question, he looked up at my parents and asked, “Teacher Lin, are you taking Lin Meng out to play? If that’s the case, I might have come at a bad time. Should I—?”

My dad immediately interrupted, “There’s no day we can’t play! We can go another time.”

My mom tugged at my dad’s sleeve, her eyes signaling him swiftly, “We’ll play by ourselves, haha, playing by ourselves is fine. We’ve been to Changning before; we’re familiar with it. Lin Meng’s studies come first, she should stay home.”

My dad added, “Since we’ve got guests at home, we shouldn’t go out—”

“What does it matter if they do their homework? We’ll just be in the way,” my mom said, grabbing her bag with one hand and her umbrella with the other, heading towards the door.

After my dad sighed for a while, he could only bid farewell to Fang Congxin and follow her out.

Just as Fang Congxin was about to speak, I shushed him, tiptoeing to the door and holding my breath for a moment before suddenly opening it.

The person outside nearly stumbled and fell into the room.

“Mom, what did you forget?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

My mom rotated her eyes in surprise, “I forgot to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, then hurry up. Holding it in is not good for your health.”

After sending my mom off again, I shrugged and made my way to the sofa. Fang Congxin stretched his leg out, blocking my path.

“Make me a fried egg.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m hungry.”

“Wait, why should I have to make you a fried egg just because you’re hungry?”

Fang Congxin pulled out a stack of papers from his bag, “Lin Meng, considering that I specifically flew back from Beijing to tutor you, it’s only fair that you make me a fried egg, right? Plus, once a teacher, always like a parent; shouldn’t you prepare something for your dear father?”

“I have no objections; I’m just afraid Old Lin might have objections.” I stood at the kitchen doorway, looking at him. It had probably started to cool down in Beijing; he was wearing a light-colored long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves rolled up high, revealing a strong, muscular arm.The strands of hair at the front were damp from sweat or tap water, sticking to his smooth, full forehead. Beads of sweat lingered at the corners of his temples, giving him a weary look, much like the time we had met at the hotel. This might give the impression that we had known each other for a long time, but in reality, apart from those hazy memories from high school, this was only our fourth meeting.

Perhaps we were both naturally sociable, speaking more freely, as if we were old friends who had known each other for four years.

But Xu Zheng and I really had been true friends for four years; whenever he talked about tutoring me in math, he always appeared nervous, a face like he was going to his death. Fang Congxin, on the other hand, could come and go with such ease, claiming that he had specifically returned for my tutoring; that just sounded ridiculous. So I said to Fang Congxin, “I’m of course grateful for your sincere intentions, but I’m a little worried about you. Do you have Stockholm syndrome or something, particularly enjoying being mistreated?”

“I never back out of promises I make. Besides, I’m confident that I can help you pass.”

“Why did it suddenly get dark outside?” I looked out the window. “Oh, it turns out there’s a cow flying in the sky.”

“Lin Meng, are you the reincarnation of E.T., adept at raising disputes automatically?” He stood up and walked over to the air conditioning vent for some cool air. “Quickly go fry an egg; I’m so hungry I could eat my own abdomen.”

“Wait a minute.” Just as I was heading into the kitchen, he stopped me. “Wash your face first; I’m worried that the three pounds of lead powder on your face will fall into the pan and poison you.”

I replied, “That’s not necessary. I still have two taels of rat poison at home; it’s not worth using three pounds of powder to poison you. Do you know how expensive that powder is?”

He took big strides toward me.

I dashed to the bathroom. “I’m washing, I’m washing, isn’t that okay?”

After I finished washing my face and frying the egg, Fang Congxin quickly devoured it and threw a document he had taken out in front of me. “There’s nothing wrong with it; just sign it.”

“What is it?” I picked it up to look.

The title boldly read “Tutoring Agreement” in large characters, with the core content as follows:
Party A, due to business needs, specially hires Party B to serve as the math teacher. Party B offers tutoring to Party A out of sympathy.
Party A shall actively coordinate class times with Party B each week and complete the homework enthusiastically.
Party A must proactively provide Party B with the weekly course and post-class arrangements, so that Party B can eliminate unnecessary social activities.
Party A unconditionally accepts Party B’s supervision, and Party B may arrange activities or facilities to improve math performance and efficiency without Party A’s consent.
Party A must pay Party B a fee of 100 yuan per hour for tutoring. The time is to be calculated based on Party B’s schedule.
Party A will be fined 50 yuan for each instance of tardiness or leaving early.
During tutoring sessions that coincide with meal times, Party A will provide Party B with high-quality, free meals.
If Party A unilaterally interrupts the course, they must pay Party B ten times the existing class fee as compensation. However, Party B may terminate sessions at any time without bearing any responsibility.Party A must pay Party B a deposit of 1000 yuan on the day the contract is signed. This amount can be deducted from the tuition fees and is non-refundable once paid.

In case of any disputes, Party B’s interpretation shall prevail.

I flipped through the following pages and found lengthy general contract terms. At the end of the contract, he had already signed his name.

I quickly read everything in a flash and thought about it; perhaps his claim of returning specifically to tutor me was true, but his main purpose was to make money off me.

He crossed his arms and looked at me. “As I mentioned earlier, if you want effective tutoring, it has to be done my way. How does this agreement sound?”

“Why do I feel like this is no different from the Treaty of Shimonoseki? It’s quite humiliating.”

He innocently rested his head on his hand and asked me, “Oh? Do these terms really seem that way to you?”

I replied, “Yes, I’ve never seen such a miserable Party A before, with only obligations to be punished and no rights to resist. You study a science subject, so you might not really understand, but let me enlighten you: the Great Qing has been gone for many years.”

He burst out laughing. His white teeth sparkled, looking rather charming.

He brushed his hair back. “The purpose of signing this agreement is mainly to make you cut off your escape routes in learning. After all, this money is hard-earned; it’s like working out—it’s a bit difficult to exercise at home alone, but if you get a gym membership, you’ll always find yourself running there.”

I calmly said, “Getting a gym membership is like putting money in a donation box at a temple; it relies on sincerity, and when the money goes in, so does the goodwill. The fat on my body will depend on fate. Besides, when I got that membership, there were three handsome trainers around me, which isn’t quite the same situation as yours.”

Fang Congxin looked at me with a false smile, “Indeed, I didn’t think this through. Anyway, I don’t need your money; I’m offering you tutoring purely out of my noble character. How about this—since a holiday is coming up, I’ll run a promotion. From now on, if you score above 60 on your quizzes, your tuition will be reduced to 10% of the normal fee, meaning just 10 yuan for each hour. Even the electricity bill is probably more expensive than that, right?”

“How can you casually inflate our electricity rates?” I replied, knowing that this discount was significantly better than the 30% attendance bonus his father had offered me from The Beauty of Mathematics.

Fang Congxin continued, “If you score above 80 on your regular exams, not only will I charge you just 10 yuan per hour, but I will also refund you 25% of the tuition fees before the next exam and give you a cosmetics gift. Also, if you pass the final exam, I’ll refund you 80% of your tuition fees and give you a plane ticket for international travel.””How does that sound?”

Fang Congxin was writing and drawing on the paper. I looked at the page full of numbers and scratched my head. “What brand of cosmetics?”

“You pick one.”

“La Mer.”

“Okay.”

I had aimed high, choosing the most expensive brand within my limited knowledge of cosmetics, and I was surprised by how easily Fang Congxin agreed. I thought maybe I should have asked for more: “I want the whole set.”

“Sure.” Fang Congxin said without batting an eye, almost lavishly, “As I said, I’m not in this to make money off you.”

“What about the plane ticket?”

“As long as it’s on Earth, I can send it to you.”

I swallowed hard; the remnants of my rationality asked, “But what if you make the questions too difficult?”

“I will only give you problems from the parts we’ve discussed in class, changing just the numbers in the examples, not even altering the questions themselves. If I break this promise, you’ll get a full refund.”

I bit the end of my pen, torn between the two sides of my mind.

Fang Congxin leaned back and said, “I noticed the hand dryer in the restroom is quite old. If you give me 1000 yuan as an earnest deposit today, after you pass your first exam, I can get you a Dyson hairdryer. Lin Meng, this earnest deposit is essentially deducted from the tuition, so you’re getting a gift for free. I can’t think of a better deal than this.”

In my mind, I could hear Austin Li repeatedly saying, “OMG, buy it, buy it!” My eyes were starting to bulge: “Don’t make me sound so materialistic. I’m really quite simple—”

“I’ll count down from five. If you agree to this now, I’ll throw in a robot vacuum. If you don’t agree, the offer is off the table. Five—four—three—”

“I’ll sign! I’ll sign!” I raised my hand, “But can I change the gift?”

Fang Congxin shrugged, “Sure, what do you want?”

“A hearing aid.”

“Why do you want that?”

“Well, it’ll be useful for me, and the price is about the same as the combined cost of the hairdryer and the robot vacuum. Will you give it to me?”

“Alright.” Fang Congxin replied nonchalantly.

I secretly glanced at Fang Congxin, unable to figure out whether I was being taken for a ride or if he was the one being naïve.

Based on my understanding of Fang Congxin’s family background, he wasn’t really scheming to make money off me. Perhaps the points I lost genuinely troubled him, making him willing to pay to tutor me just to feel justified. I felt like I might be gaining the upper hand in this situation. Was this a case of blessing in disguise?

Though Fang Congxin’s words could be harsh, he had a good heart. He is a person of high virtue; someone who sacrifices for others without asking for anything in return is worth getting to know.

After all, a wealthy and generous giant like him is hard to come by.

While I was thinking, Fang Congxin had already handwritten several lines in the supplementary section at the end of the contract, saying as he wrote, “Let’s provisionally agree to bill every 100 hours as one unit. We’ll have an exam approximately every 30 class hours.””Do you have any objections?”

I shook my head.

After finishing, he pushed the contract toward me.

I picked up the pen and signed my name: “Fang Congxin, tell me honestly, have you ever worked in sales at a gym?”

Fang Congxin smiled and smoothly took out a black credit card from the cardholder he carried with him, handing it to me: “Here, transfer 1000 yuan to this card, and I’ll write you a receipt.”

I logged into my mobile banking app and muttered, “This is quite formal.”

“It’s the spirit of the contract; the more familiar we are, the clearer it needs to be.”

“That’s true. I was worried you might back out on the gift.”

Hearing the pleasant notification sound of a payment received on my phone, Fang Congxin officially extended his hand: “I also understand what it feels like to be troubled by certain subjects and feel average in my abilities. I can relate to your struggles. From now on, let’s put in a little extra effort together and achieve great results as a team.”

“Clap, clap,” I enthusiastically added the sound of applause and extended my hand: “I guess when you say ‘average’, you mean ‘ordinary’ like ‘ordinary and unremarkable’ in a roundabout way, and when you say ‘a little’, you definitely mean ‘a little spicy’ like in Chongqing hotpot, but I will still do my best.”

Where’s the camera? I thought that the way we were shaking hands right now was worth capturing, to hang in my future office as an entrepreneur. After all, this was the best deal I had made in my life.

“Since we are now in a legally protected relationship, I have a trivial piece of life advice that I’m not sure if you should hear,” Fang Congxin said.

“But go ahead.”

“From now on, stay away from the gift area. And don’t go to Macau for no reason.”

A memo from Fang Congxin:
I carefully dug a pit for her, then willingly jumped in first, still trying to deceive myself into thinking I had the upper hand over her.