I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 24

Considering my mom’s focus has already shifted, I wasn’t afraid she’d scold me. I decided to be honest with her, explaining that I had chosen the wrong course. I asked her to see if my dad knew a math professor named Fang Rui. If so, perhaps she could gently persuade him to spread the word to my dad on the importance of knowing that committing murder is illegal, and killing one’s daughter is even more unacceptable.

That evening, during a video call with my mom, before I could even speak, my dad suddenly appeared in the background. A slipper swiftly and accurately hit the center of the screen.

“Ouch!” I yelled cooperatively. It seemed my mom’s persuasion attempt hadn’t been very effective.

“Do you know who Fang Rui is?” my mom asked.

“Who?”

“Your dad’s classmate.”

“Tsk tsk, look at the other classmates, and then look at you, Comrade Old Lin.” Grateful that there seemed to be a way out, I couldn’t resist teasing from a safe distance, knowing my dad couldn’t reach me.

“Biu,” another slipper came flying my way.

My mom, holding the phone, retreated to the study and continued, “Yesterday, when you mentioned Fang Rui, I guessed who he was. Having been a math professor at Peking University and a graduate of Taixi, it’s highly likely he is our high school classmate, Fang Rui. If you ask any of our classmates from those years, everyone knows Fang Rui. According to you young people, Fang Rui was the campus heartthrob, the male god, and our idol. Of course, we weren’t as open as you all nowadays; we wouldn’t just say ‘I can’ or ‘I’ll have your babies’ upon seeing someone attractive. But, indeed, the female classmates who had a crush on Fang Rui could line up from the school gate to Jiefang Intersection. If he played ball, all the girls in school would gather to watch and cheer…”

I rolled my eyes. “Mom, were you one of those holding a love token at the intersection?”

“Oh, that was all in the past. Who hasn’t been young?” my mom said, playfully.

“No wonder Dad can’t stand to look me in the eye properly. Turns out he’s been haunted by an old rival in love,” I thought. My dad really has a petty mind, getting jealous over something so ancient when his daughter is already grown up. Meanwhile, my mom chattered on the other end of the call:

“I wonder what that once young ‘fresh meat’ looks like now, what kind of wife he married, and what kind of children he has. With such great genes, they must look like stars. Hey, Xiaomeng, do you think I should wear that royal blue silk dress? The really pricey one we bought at the mall last year. Didn’t you say it made my skin look fair? And which bag should I carry, the one I bought in Hong Kong? What about the shoes?”

Dad, how’s my kneeling posture? Is it proper enough?”Mom, have you contacted Professor Fang?”

“I thought someone like Fang Rui would have long forgotten nobodies like us. But when your dad called, even before mentioning the main reason, Fang Rui enthusiastically asked if we were in Changning, suggesting a meetup for a meal if convenient. He spoke so genuinely, not just for small talk. Coincidentally, your dad is worried about your renting situation, and since the National Day holiday is coming up, we’re flying over to meet you. Before our gathering, we’ll have a meal with him. Once we’ve chatted enough, we’ll bring up your course withdrawal issue. This plan will likely work, don’t you think I handled this beautifully?”

“Perfect!”

“After dropping the course, you should meet the son of my former colleague. He’s also in Changning and passed the civil service exam this year. I’ve seen the young man’s photo—”

“Mom, could you stop matchmaking for me? Trust me, someone out there is waiting for me. No need to worry about it.”

“Who? Who in the distance is waiting for you? The King of Hell?”

“…”

“Xiaomeng, be honest with me. You’re not ugly and have a positive personality, so why haven’t you been in a relationship? Is there someone you like?”

Feeling harassed, I deflected, “Yes, yes, I really like them. Hello—signal’s bad—”

“Really—”

“Hello, Mom, the internet’s lagging, gotta go.” I promptly hung up.

The dark cloud that had loomed over my heart for days finally began to clear. I leaped with joy in my mind but suddenly felt a pang of anxiety.

I wondered if Fang Congxin had already reported me again to Professor Fang, and if Professor Fang might mention it to my dad during their meeting. My dad, being a teacher, abhors cheating. If he discovers I cheated in class, he might dramatically deal with me, perhaps even by metaphorically shooting me with a bullet.

To prevent him from making a scene, I need to expedite this historically significant meeting.

I employed a simple and efficient tactic—I merely showed them the airfare for the holiday period, and they aligned with my urgency. Without waiting for the holiday, they flew to Changning the next day.

Woo-hoo!

I waited at the airport for a long time and still didn’t see them come out.

Just as I worriedly checked my watch, a woman clad in something resembling a costume from a Golden Boss opera, with her hair styled into a cement-like chignon, and a man dressed in a black suit with a large fake LV belt around his waist, appeared before me.

I took a deep breath.

I clasped my hands together and said, “Mom, Dad, I didn’t expect today to be your big day. I haven’t prepared anything, so I’ll just offer my verbal congratulations! Wishing you a happy marriage and a swift birth of a child!”

My mom gestured as if to hit me, and I quickly stepped back, afraid her chignon might poke a hole in my face.My dad’s face was as dark as the bottom of a pot. Being such a principled person, he despises using connections to ask for favors. Unfortunately, his daughter is hopelessly incorrigible, and I imagine my mom had to work hard to convince him all the way here, just to stop him from taking off his shoe and giving me a beating right there.

My mom furrowed her eyebrows, giving me a once-over. “Why are you dressed like a beggar again?”

Looking at the rolling pin-styled fashion perched on her head, I thought for a second—her criticism of me is actually a compliment, so I let her denigrate me without protest.

She looked over my shoulder and asked, “Just you alone?”

I replied, “Sorry, I didn’t think to hire a marching band to welcome you.”

She clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction, “No other male classmates around?”

I said, “Sorry, Mom, I also forgot to rent a boyfriend.”

She poked my head with her finger and said, “So you’re still secretly in love, which is completely useless.”

I protested stubbornly, “Since you’re so capable, why didn’t you pursue Professor Fang back in the day, instead of choosing my dad?”

Oh dear, Dad, I forgot you were listening right here. Oh, a gentleman uses words, not fists, please don’t take off your shoe! Even a tigress wouldn’t eat her cubs—can’t we just admit I was wrong?