I'm A Math Idiot, So What? - Chapter 14

I closed the iPad and slumped onto the dining chair, staring out at the night sky. I wistfully recalled the start of this joyful afternoon, which was supposed to be filled with ambitious math study.

Ah, one of life’s axioms—“As soon as you start doing math, you’ll find everything else in the world becomes extraordinarily interesting.”

I picked up the iPad again, with a vacant look, and returned to the kingdom of mathematics.

The lecturer in the video was explaining the Mean Value Theorem. He wrote a bunch of things on the blackboard that I couldn’t understand.

Fermat’s Lemma.

Taylor’s Formula.

Lagrange’s Mean Value Theorem.

L’Hôpital’s Rule.

I finally cracked my first smile while studying math. I silently copied these theorems into my notebook and then highlighted the second character of each theorem.

马勒格必 (A phonetic play on words expressing frustration).

It perfectly matched my current mood.

I decided to take it slow. With math, I can’t rush. I need to follow the principle of “talk for five minutes, charge for two hours.”

I went to bed. Clutching the iPad with the math video playing, I slept in a very devout manner.

When I woke up, any resolve I had for a comeback, to shatter the “Sick Man of East Asia” label, was gone. By the time night fell and I drifted off, a fragment of my soul filled with regret seemed to magnetically attract the remaining part of my soul that loudly insisted on preserving my dignity.

At times, I felt like Cixi, unfairly bullied by various Western powers. I briefly agreed to implement new reforms, pushing forward just a little bit. However, as time passed, that feeble will started to waver, until I was beaten down and left like a destitute villager, forced to travel westward, weathering storms, dining on the wind, and signing a series of unfair treaties under the relentless assaults of the powers.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I thought to myself, I can’t be like Cixi, just waiting for Fang Congxin to come and defeat me.No way! I can fight for another 500 years! Get up and do more problems!

Five minutes later.

Five hundred years is too long, but five minutes is just about right.

I returned to bed, seeking a new approach.

I’ve already lost a 10-point advantage, like in a 1000-meter race where my starting line is 100 meters behind everyone else. Plus, I’m like a crippled runner, born disadvantaged and further deformed by circumstances, needing to run an extra 50 meters faster than others. Even inviting the Paralympic marathon champion might not guarantee a win.

Calmly, I thought, there’s absolutely no need for me to lose another 5 points just to satisfy a momentary impulse. What if, when the results are out, it’s just those 5 points that make the difference? Failing a course would cut short my path to a secure position in research, depriving the field of history of a scholar who should have been celebrated. How regrettable it would be for the historically dull sky of academia to miss a shining new star!

I have to safeguard the seed of revolution. If I keep the green hills, there will be no worry about lacking fuel. Shu Qi herself said that clothes taken off can be put back on, piece by piece.

My temporary surrender to malicious forces is just that—temporary. No cowardice. No weakness. No disgrace. Besides, reputation is a renewable resource; just like Shu Qi’s clothes, it can grow back after being lost temporarily.

That afternoon, I checked my phone maybe eight hundred times to confirm there were no unfamiliar calls. I guessed Fang Congxin probably still hadn’t spoken to Professor Fang.So, he’s still leaving room for me to discuss this matter.

Having watched so many episodes of the classic Hong Kong drama *The Negotiator*, though I’ve never been a negotiator myself, I’ve learned by observing. Before seeking peace, I need to understand this person’s identity, motives, and needs. In other words, I need to gather enough information, for knowing both yourself and your opponent ensures you are undefeated in battle.

So, who exactly is Fang Congxin?

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