I Want Her to See Only Me - Chapter 9
Xia Xiuyin descended the stairs to the study, where she picked out a storybook.
Her fingertip touched the illustrated cover, and she thought, Xia Yu should be easy to entertain.
Because there was no time to prepare Xia Yu’s bedroom, the child would temporarily stay in the strict and tidy guest room.
Xia Xiuyin opened the door to find Xia Yu already lying on the pillow, her head tilted to one side.
Xia Yu’s small face was flushed from sleep, a tablet clutched in her arms. She was curled up as tightly as she had been in the trashcan, looking like a soft, pitiful kitten.
Xia Xiuyin watched her quietly for a moment, then leaned over to try to extract the tablet. Xia Yu frowned, clutching it tighter, her fingers turning pale from the grip.
“Sister…don’t take it away.”
The words meant, Sister gave it to me, you can’t take it away.
Xia Xiuyin blinked, then leaned closer to Xia Yu and said in a whisper-soft voice, “A’Yu…it’s me, Sister.”
Xia Yu’s expression relaxed.
“Can you give this to your sister?”
The little girl obediently loosened her grip, even offering the tablet to Xia Xiuyin. When Xia Xiuyin finally took it, the corners of her lips curled into a sweet smile, as if she had just completed an incredible feat.
Xia Xiuyin glanced at the tablet; the girl had cleared three or four levels.
Xia Yu was smart.
The little girl had been stuck indoors all day, so there was no need to bathe her, but changing into pajamas would make her feel more comfortable.
Xia Xiuyin studied Xia Yu’s features. She was sleeping soundly, her lips slightly parted, revealing a row of small, white teeth. At her age, she needed plenty of sleep, especially since she didn’t nap during the day. Thus, aside from instinctively responding to her sister’s voice, Xia Yu remained still.
Xia Xiuyin decided not to wake Xia Yu, opting instead to find a cotton nightgown for her.
While unbuttoning Xia Yu’s coat, Xia Yu unconsciously clutched the collar tighter.
The little girl’s guard was high.
This was good.
“Sister is here… Let’s change into pajamas before going to bed,” Xia Xiuyin said soothingly.
“Sister…” Xia Yu echoed, still clutching her hand. She wrapped Xia Xiuyin’s fingers in her arms and fell asleep deeply, content.
Like a little brat.
Xia Xiuyin let her hold on for a while, but when she tried to pull her hands away, Xia Yu’s eyelashes fluttered, and she slowly opened her eyes.
“A’Yu.”
“Sister?” Xia Yu’s expression was still hazy, but as soon as she heard the voice she liked, she smiled sweetly, her eyes curved into crescents as she held onto Xia Xiuyin’s fingertip with one hand and rubbed her sleepy eyes with the other, her long lashes drooping playfully.
“Sister…bath?” She shook her head, taking in the sight of Xia Xiuyin clad in pure-white silk pajamas that accentuated her delicate collarbones and smooth shoulders, and blushing as she spoke.
Xia Xiuyin was tall and slender, so the small tank top actually accentuated her figure without making her appear overly provocative.
“Yep, I just washed them.” Xia Xiuyin brushed Xia Yu’s bangs off her forehead. “So, A’Yu, let’s change your clothes, okay?”
The little girl obediently nodded. “Okay.”
Xia Xiuyin picked out the clothes, so Xia Yu’s pajama dress was also pure white, simple in style, but made of comfortable, breathable modal fabric that was suitable for children.
After changing, Xia Yu held the hem of her dress and stared at Xia Xiuyin with a pitiful look.
“Huh, you’re not sleepy anymore?” Xia Xiuyin playfully scraped her nose. Xia Yu blinked bashfully but continued staring at her.
Xia Xiuyin pulled Xia Yu into a hug and leaned lazily against the headboard, then reached over to grab the storybook. “Sister will read you a bedtime story, okay?”
“Mm-hmm.” came the soft reply.
Xia Xiuyin read aloud Lily and the Octopus by Steven Winnick, a story filled with love and warmth.
“‘…Because I felt love. Not a little, not some, but unconditionally loved…”
“‘…Lily also licked the tears on my face…”
Edward, who had been diagnosed with empathy disorder, cried miserably when the newly acquainted puppy lay on his arm.
He fell in love with the dachshund named Lily.
“Your! tears! are! amazing! I! like! the! salty! taste! You! should! cry! every! day!” In response to his weeping, Lily gave this evaluation.
Lily was an intelligent and adorable dog, and whenever Xia Xiuyin read her lines, her tone would cheer up.
Xia Yu lifted her head to look at Xia Xiuyin. The girl’s lips looked soft and moist from the bath, like flower petals. She lowered her gaze, long eyelashes shielding her brown eyes behind a veil of gentleness.
Noticing the girl’s secret stare, those pretty eyes immediately filled with a warm smile, clear and tender like the first waters of spring.
“What’s wrong?” Xia Yu heard, a lazy lilt to the voice.
Xia Yu shook her head, burying her face in her sister’s chest. The soft bed, warm embrace, and the person she loved—the crux of everything she had ever wanted—was delivered into her hands by her sister.
And she would smile while patting Xia Yu’s head, telling her, “It’s okay, you can have more.”
In the fog, Xia Yu walked unsteadily, without anyone to hold her hand. She wanted to cry, but the overwhelming grief wouldn’t even allow tears to form.
Finally, after stepping forward, she fell, plummeting into emptiness. The sensation of falling choked her throat, clogged her chest—
“Sister!” Xia Yu woke from her dream, fearfully scanning her surroundings. She was in a simple yet elegant room, inside her sister’s house.
A light knock on the door, followed by a second, and Xia Xiuyin opened the door. She frowned slightly, concern etched on her face. “A’Yu, what is it?”
Her heart felt as though it was about to burst with emotion. Xia Yu lifted the quilt, jumped off the bed, and threw herself at Xia Xiuyin. In her haste, she almost fell to the ground, plunging into her sister’s arms like a little dove and clinging tightly to Xia Xiuyin’s waist in fear, as if she wished to become an extension of her sister.
Xia Yu’s trembling passed through their skin, faithfully conveying her unease and fear.
“Sister is here, don’t be afraid.” Xia Xiuyin gently stroked the girl’s soft hair, only then noticing that even the back of her head was drenched in sweat.
“Wh…sister…” The pent-up emotions from earlier, now given an audience, erupted violently, and Xia Yu finally told the woman before her, through tears, how terrified she had been.
The child didn’t wail loudly, but sobbed quietly as she cried into Xia Xiuyin’s embrace.
Xia Xiuyin momentarily wondered if she should pour herself a glass of lemon water, so Xia Yu could soothe her throat.
Even children needed an outlet for their emotions, but Xia Yu truly looked too pitiful. Xia Xiuyin had no choice but to kneel before Xia Yu.
“Everything in dreams is the opposite.” She gently wiped away the tears from Xia Yu’s eyes, the skin around them tender and red from crying, thin and fragile like paper, as if she would accidentally tear it if she were any more forceful.
“This is what my mom told me.”
Her mother.
Xia Yu stopped crying. She knew her sister’s mother was dead.
“Is it…is it true?” she asked, her voice still shaky and slightly breathless, with a touch of lingering cuteness.
Xia Xiuyin’s eyes curved as she smiled. “It’s true.”
She had dreamt of Xia Zhen so many times afterward: hugging him, holding her hand as he peeled fruit, teasing their newborn sister together. The little bundle of flesh would often make them laugh out loud at her cuteness.
But in reality, she never waited for Xia Zhen to return home.
As expected, the dreams were the opposite.
“Sister…” Xia Yu choked on a sob, extending her hand.
Xia Xiuyin glanced at the small, pale hand and smiled as she took it into her own.
“Look, Sister is holding your hand now.”
“Mm-hmm!” Xia Yu started crying again, but Xia Xiuyin knew she wasn’t sad anymore.
Little children were easy to soothe.
Xia Yu followed Xia Xiuyin upstairs to wash her hands, holding her arms up high the whole way so Xia Xiuyin could easily hold her by the hand.
She wasn’t alone. Someone was holding her hand. Her sister was holding her hand.
Xia Xiuyin’s original plan upon graduation was to travel abroad, but since she now had a child at home, she changed her plans last minute.
While the sounds of construction echoed upstairs, Xia Xiuyin taught Xia Yu how to read in the living room.
Xia Yu didn’t recognize pinyin, so Xia Xiuyin carefully traced the twenty-six letters of the alphabet on a piece of white paper for her student to copy.
“A, open your mouth wide, just like this.” Xia Xiuyin searched for simple teaching methods online and found a few good suggestions, which she promptly memorized.
The two sat across from each other on the carpet with a small glass table between them. Xia Xiuyin demonstrated the correct pronunciation with her lips, careful to enunciate each sound. Her lips were painted with a thin layer of glossy lipstick, making them appear dewy, as if they were waiting for a kiss.
Xia Yu, flustered, opened her mouth timidly. “Ah.”
Xia Xiuyin had always thought her cousin was quick-witted; indeed, Xia Yu grasped many concepts effortlessly. However, when it came to verbally repeating the sounds, she struggled to learn, needing to repeat each lesson multiple times before she could vaguely recall it.
She remained completely unaware of why Xia Yu’s reactions were so sluggish.
After an hour of teaching, Xia Xiuyin took a break, and the two went into the kitchen to watch Aunt Chen make tofu pudding.
In the end, Aunt Chen ushered them out, half-jokingly complaining, “You’re getting in my way!”
The two girls returned to the living room, giggling like a pair of mischievous foxes.
“Sister…” Xia Yu tugged on Xia Xiuyin’s sleeve before she continued studying.
“Mm?”
“…Writing,” Xia Yu articulated slowly, thinking carefully about her pronunciation. She had not spoken to anyone for a long time, and her tongue felt clumsy and stiff.
Xia Xiuyin knew what she wanted to say, but she prompted her anyway, “What does A’Yu want? Your sister is listening.”
“I…want…” Xia Yu spoke deliberately, one syllable at a time. “…to… write…”
“A’Yu wants to learn how to write?” Xia Xiuyin smiled.
Xia Yu’s eyes brightened, and she nodded. “Mm-hm!”
“Then…what do you want to write? Tell your sister.”
Xia Yu seemed to be thinking about something else, her face flushed as she played with her fingers. “Mm.”
Aunt Chen, who had brought the salad, noticed the two heads pressed together and asked with amusement, “What are you doing?”
Xia Yu looked up quickly, offering an explanation as if she were boasting about her work. “I’m…writing a name.”
“Your sweetie’s name?” Aunt Chen laughed.
“No.” Xia Xiuyin’s eyes curved as she smiled. “My name.”
Aunt Chen walked closer and saw several sheets of white paper covered in hasty scrawls of “Xiuyin.”
From a scribble, to a rough draft, to a neat and refined form, the papers were filled with the name written in childish handwriting, each stroke carefully traced on the paper as if she could grasp the person she liked into her palm this way.
“Xiu…yin…” Xia Yu pointed at the most beautifully and neatly written characters, showing them to Aunt Chen.
She read them solemnly in her soft voice.
Aunt Chen’s eyes grew slightly damp.
A few sheets of paper, one name, dry and monotonous.
Yet, unexpectedly, neither the teacher nor the student found it tedious.