I Want Her to See Only Me - Chapter 12
Through the grove of bamboo, beauty is read.
Xia Yu repeated these words over and over. She didn’t understand the meaning behind them, nor could she appreciate their rhythmic qualities, but she knew that, carrying her sister’s name, these words must be beautiful.
The dense text in the dictionary was dry and difficult to read.
Xia Yu was, after all, still a child; she could only sit still with Xia Xiuyin by her side. Without her sister, she found herself growing restless.
Xia Xiuyin had been gone for a long time. Xia Yu thought that whomever she was meeting must be very important.
Compared to the other rooms in the house, the study was surprisingly small and located quite a ways from the rest. The space was dominated by a cold palette, but the books softened the atmosphere, lending it a unique sense of calm elegance.
The desk rested against the wall, and natural light streamed through the window on the left, gently illuminating the dictionary. Xia Yu picked a bookmark identical to Xia Xiuyin’s from a drawer, placed it inside the dictionary, then carefully arranged it so that it mirrored Xia Xiuyin’s book.
She flopped onto the bread-like fabric sofa and wrapped her arms around the pillow on top, wondering if Xia Xiuyin ever curled up on this couch with her arms around it.
She remained stuck to the window for a while, worried her sister might return at any moment, and guiltily arranged the pillow back on the bed. She then walked over to the blinds, leaned on the windowsill, and peered outside.
“Uh-oh, it’s Uncle Liu…” she murmured as she saw the figure leaning against the car, standing on his toes.
At a distance, Xia Yu couldn’t clearly see Liu Zhi’s expression. The man’s back arched slightly, and the tip of his cigarette glowed intermittently—he was smoking.
It wasn’t out of boredom; he puffed aggressively, coughing occasionally. His gaze fixed on the living room inside the mansion as if something distressing was happening.
Xia Yu felt uneasy for no reason.
A gentle and steady knocking sounded on the door. Xia Yu sat back down at her desk, staring anxiously at the door, waiting for Xia Xiuyin to enter.
“A’Yu…” A soft, gentle voice called from outside.
It was indeed her sister’s voice!
Yet Xia Xiuyin didn’t step into the study. She stood quietly by the door, her gaze resting on Xia Yu.
Xia Xiuyin wore a light gray and pink lounging outfit, her long hair loosely tied behind her neck. She looked more gentle than usual at this moment.
“Come downstairs with me?”
“Big sis.” Xia Yu felt uneasy under her sister’s gaze.
She felt the weight of Xiuyin’s gaze, not sharp or invasive, but rather mixed within the warmth she’d always known. Yet it was enough to make her panic.
She saw Xiuyin reach a hand toward her, waiting for her to hold it, just like every other time.
The hand was fair, slender, warm, and soft, with neatly trimmed nails and the scent of lotion, paper, and books. But Xia Yu started to panic.
She yearned to grab that hand, to hold it tightly, but her instincts told her that if she were to give in to this desire, she might never get another chance.
“Sister, the guest left, right?” Xia Yu clenched her fingers, lifting her face, her clean and lively eyes gazing at Xia Xiuyin with longing.
Xia Xiuyin seemed surprised by her perceptiveness, but quickly responded with a smile, “A’Yu can go take a look for herself.”
Nervously, Xia Yu stood up and took a few steps forward before grabbing Xia Xiuyin’s finger. The latter naturally enveloped her hand in her own, the tender gesture soothing Xia Yu greatly.
Xia Man and his wife had seen photos of the child, perhaps taken to fulfill the requirements for adoption. The photo was cropped above the shoulders; the child’s face was small, but her eyes were large, her pupils black and bright, staring slightly above the camera, as if looking up at the photographer with trust.
While Xia Xiuyin was upstairs, the couple sat restlessly in the living room.
Aunt Li brought them some fruit, but they didn’t take a bite despite thanking her.
“Jiazhen, don’t worry.” Xia Man held his wife’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
The couple often volunteered at orphanages, but they had never quite decided to officially adopt a child. They were afraid they would wrong their first child, afraid to face the pain of losing another.
Xia Man and his wife had been unable to make a decision, so Fang Duan’s coercion left them grateful instead.
“We can’t continue living life as parents on the edge. This child is a gift from the heavens, and we must treat her well, let her know we love her.”
Jiazhen nodded and rubbed her eyes. “Mm.”
Two sets of footsteps descended the stairs, one almost silent.
Xia Man gripped the glass cup in his hand, eyes wide as he watched Xia Xiuyin’s side, where a girl as sweet and pure as cotton candy stood.
His wife beside him stood up, unable to contain herself.
“Is it Xia Yu?”
The girl’s shoulders instinctively hunched; realizing it might not have been the most appropriate reaction, she forced herself to calm down, offering Xia Man’s wife a small smile. Before Xia Man’s wife could respond, she turned her head to look at Xia Xiuyin, then clutched Xia Xiuyin’s hand, hiding behind her sister.
“This child is a little shy,” Xia Xiuyin said, patting Xia Yu’s head.
They sat across from Xia Man. Xia Yu kept her lips pressed together, her small hands clutching the hem of Xia Xiuyin’s clothes as if she feared her sister would leave.
Xia Xiuyin’s words were a little peculiar, subtly positioning herself closer to Xia Yu.
“It’s fine; she’ll get used to us eventually,” Xia Man said.
He and his wife stared at the child without blinking. Xia Yu wore a long-sleeved dress, her whole body covered save for her fair face.
They attempted to communicate with Xia Yu. “Hello, Xia Yu.”
Xia Yu glanced at Xia Xiuyin, whose expression gave nothing away. She mustered up some courage and told herself she couldn’t embarrass her sister.
She turned her face back and said, “You… hello.”
Her voice was clear and crisp like the first chirp of a baby bird.
Xia Man and his wife grew more excited.
“You don’t know who we are yet, do you?” Xia Man tried to suppress his excitement, afraid he might scare the little girl before him.
“We… I… and her…” Xia Man found himself unable to speak.
Xia Yu’s black eyes met his gaze calmly.
Gazhen said, “We… are your legal parents now.”
Knowing the child before her might not understand, she still handed over the adoption certificate. “Look, here’s your name…”
Parents —
Xia Yu’s face grew pale. Her head buzzed; she couldn’t hear what the strange woman was saying after that first word.
Amidst Jia Zhen’s continuous talking, Xia Yu remained unfazed, refusing to acknowledge the woman and instead turning to Xia Xiuyin in a plea for help, “Sister… Sister…”
Why did two strangers suddenly tell her they were her parents?
Didn’t her sister promise to take care of her?
Were they here to take her away?
Clutching Xia Xiuyin’s clothes, she dared not even touch the woman’s hands, shaking her head as she whimpered, “No… don’t…”
Did her sister not like her anymore? Had she done something wrong?
Xia Xiuyin gently wiped the tears from the corners of Xia Yu’s eyes. She then poured a glass of lemon water and placed the straw in Xia Yu’s mouth. “Little crybaby, you’ll dehydrate if you keep crying.”
Xia Yu obediently drank a few sips, her lips appearing slightly more moist.
“Sister…”
Xia Yu’s closeness to Xia Xiuyin eased Xia Yu’s heart.
Xia Man and his wife exchanged a glance; Xia Yu’s attachment to Xia Xiuyin was much stronger than they had anticipated.
Xia Xiuyin’s adoptive parents assumed the young girl was still a child; picking up Xia Yu had already stretched her kind heart to its limit, so they doubted she’d be patient enough to care for another.
“Little Sister…” Xia Man anxiously called out to Xia Xiuyin.
Xia Xiuyin dried the corner of Xia Yu’s mouth with a napkin, then lowered her head to look at her. “A’Yu, that man is my brother, and the woman beside him is his wife.”
Xia Yu glanced over with reddened eyes; her sister’s brother looked much older than her.
Xia Man smiled warmly, a look of adoration and anticipation in her eyes.
“Mm…” Xia Yu cautiously looked at Xia Xiuyin.
“From now on, they’ll be your mom and dad… And A’Yu, you’ll have to call me auntie from now on.”
Xia Xiuyin seemed completely oblivious to the panic in the little girl’s eyes, speaking gently as always.
Then, Xia Xiuyin turned toward Xia Yu, her gaze warm as she waited for the girl to react. At first, Xia Yu stared blankly, her eyes gradually losing their sparkle until they finally became dull and lifeless.
It took Xia Yu a long time to comprehend what her sister meant. She blinked slowly, tears gathering with each movement, until they finally overflowed, rolling down her cheeks.
Xia Man and his wife were heartbroken.
“A’Yu… I hope you don’t mind me calling you that… Dear, don’t cry,” Xia Man said. “If you miss Little Aunt, we’ll come visit her often, all right?”
Xia Man glanced at Xia Xiuyin, who nodded in response. “Our home will always welcome A’Yu.”
Tears continued to roll down Xia Yu’s cheeks.
She painfully realized that her sister likely didn’t love her as much as she thought.
Just like her parents, none of them loved her.
Once, she had spent a long time learning to feel nothing for them, but she didn’t know how long it would take to forget her sister.
She sat stiffly on the sofa, staring blankly ahead. Despite Xia Xiuyin’s proximity, Xia Yu felt as if she could only forever admire her from afar.
“Don’t make them worry…” Xia Xiuyin gently removed Xia Yu’s fingers, then pushed her toward Xia Man. “Go talk to them, okay?”
Xia Yu had no way to refuse.
Xia Xiuyin’s endearingly inquisitive tone was a remnant of her upbringing, but it was also a form of command, meaning that she wanted Xia Yu to do as she said, and Xia Yu had to comply.
“Little one…”
Xia Yu’s vision blurred.
Stiffly, she walked toward Xia Man, one foot in front of the other.
Soon, warm, rough hands gripped her elbow. It felt comforting, yet she felt fear instead.
“Oh no, don’t cry…” Jiazhen clumsily wiped away Xia Yu’s tears. “We’ll be good to you; we’ll love you very much.”
Xia Yu met her gaze, her eyes so black and shiny they seemed to ask, Really?
Xia Man’s heart melted. Daring not to touch her, he said, “A’Yu… We’ve prepared a room just for you, and bought some toys and snacks. We—we all look forward to having you here.”
To be looked forward to.
This is the first time Xia Yu has heard such words.
She subconsciously wanted to look at her sister, but Xia Xiuyin was behind her, and she had to turn around to see.
“Come home with us, okay?” Jia Zhen’s voice sounded nervous.
She held Xia Yu’s hand, and Xia Yu trembled, lips pursed, without refusing.
This couple of parents was found by her sister’s father for her. If she refused, would her sister also be in trouble?
The Xia family couple exchanged a joyful glance.
“Little sister, then we won’t disturb you anymore.” Xia Man sincerely thanked Xia Xiuyin and Fang Duan, “We’ll take the child back first.”
Xia Xiuyin’s gaze swept over Xia Yu’s red nose and eyes, and she finally spoke, “…Cousin, let Uncle Liu send you.”
Xia Man’s face was filled with a smile. “No need, little sister. I’ve already arranged for a car, so it’s not a bother.”
Xia Xiuyin remained noncommittal.
As Xia Yu walked with Xia Man on the cobblestone path, she looked back at the villa.
The blooming roses were vibrant and beautiful, embracing the villa like a fiery cluster.
Her sister wasn’t looking at her.
Her heart felt as if it had been tightly squeezed, causing her to tremble in pain.
Xia Xiuyin sat up straight on the sofa, lightly tapping her knee, one after another.
She was waiting.
Aunt Chen stood beside her, struggling to speak.
The villa had returned to quietness, Fang Duan had left, the guests had left… Xia Yu had also left.
And then, at that moment.
“Sister—”
She cried out with all her might, filled with grievance and sadness.
Not piercing to the ears, it seemed even the cries were cautious, wanting to be likable, wanting to not be abandoned.
Xia Xiuyin curled up her lips.
She stood up, and sure enough, a stumbling child threw herself into her arms.
She held Xia Yu, satisfied, and gently closed her eyes, rubbing against the damp cheek, concealing the determination within.