I Want Her to See Only Me - Chapter 1

The rain poured down at night.

Black clouds on the horizon devoured all light, greedily casting shadows on the long streets. The falling rain formed a curtain, coating the windows with a thick layer of water and distorting the dim streetlights in the pupils of the eyes.

The rain was too heavy.

Liu Zhi glanced anxiously from the rearview mirror. He had initially attempted to use the wipers, but the water covering the windshield could not be fully cleared, only to return moments later, forcing him to give up.

“Miss…” He couldn’t help but call out to the girl sitting in the back seat, but as soon as his gaze fell on her fair, delicate cheek, he paused.

Xia Xiuyin sat upright in her seat, her shoulders straight and back arched, the tailored school uniform outlining her fine figure, exposing a fair and slender neck. Her hands were folded neatly and placed on her left leg, her gaze fixed forward, her body weight resting on the front third of the seat, like an elite warrior poised to fight, ready for battle at any moment.

Her eyelashes, curled and long, finally fluttered slightly after a long while, revealing a pair of deep brown eyes looking at Liu Zhi. “Uncle Liu,” she nodded.

Liu Zhi felt a chill run down his spine at this dark gaze, but he quickly composed himself and said, “Miss, let’s find somewhere to stop for a bit. The rain is too heavy to drive in.”

This time, she didn’t make him wait long. “Uncle Liu will decide,” Xia Xiuyin said gently.

Liu Zhi sighed in relief.

Once again, Xia Xiuyin assumed the demeanor of a poised and calm doll, her expression placid and self-possessed, but beneath this veneer, she was like a child desperately trying to feign maturity.

The young lady had not retreated into her cold and distant shell for a long while, appearing prim and proper on the outside but covered in thorns on the inside. It was as if the entire world was her enemy, as if she could not afford to let her guard down for even a second.

Liu Zhi watched Xia Xiuyin grow up, witnessing her transform from a sweet, sensitive, and rambunctious little girl into her current disposition, where she smiled often but never truly seemed happy. She looked just like her mother.

As he carefully passed by a puddle, Liu Zhi said, “Miss, you must be tired after a whole day of interviews. There’s a blanket in the back seat; you can rest your eyes.”

Xia Xiuyin’s gaze remained fixed on the rainwater streaming down the car window, her face devoid of emotion. “All right.”

But nothing moved for a long while.

Liu Zhi felt a pang of sympathy for Xia Xiuyin. From the girl’s tense shoulders and weary gaze, who could tell that she was on her way home?

That mansion twenty kilometers away loomed like a threatening storm cloud, intent on trapping her in place, dragging her down into the endless night.

The road to the suburbs passed through a long alleyway. Liu Zhi had no choice but to focus his attention on the small area illuminated by his car’s headlights, carefully steering the wheel.

“This place is a bit wider, miss. Let’s wait here for a bit.”

Xia Xiuyin looked up; it was a space between two buildings designated for waste management, left wide enough for garbage trucks to maneuver.

A dimly lit small tungsten light was placed beneath the eaves, its hazy glow spilling onto the ground below, where trash cans of varying heights stood like tombstones.

She realized from the occasional glances Liu Zhi cast toward her that this man before her was the uncle she had called for over a decade. She had once played and laughed joyfully in his arms like a carefree child; he was someone who truly cared for her.

Warmth surfaced in Xia Xiuyin’s pretty eyes. “Uncle Liu, please take a rest too. Don’t rush.”

There was no need to rush back to a place where one wasn’t awaited or expected.

Liu Zhi shifted into gear, answering, “Sure, no problem.”

Liu Zhi was not a smooth talker. He fumbled around in his mind for some interesting conversation starter, but Xia Xiuyin suddenly shifted her gaze outside the car. The warm yellow light inside the vehicle and the dull yellow tungsten light reflected in her eyes, creating a starry effect.

He followed Xia Xiuyin’s gaze and saw something that made his expression freeze momentarily.

Large raindrops pummeled the roof, then gathered in the crevices to form lines of flowing water that fell to the ground, washing away the dirt on the streets.

A small hand reached out from beneath the lid of a dark gray trashcan, fingers slightly curled to form a shallow container.

Rainwater splashed onto the small palm, then flowed along the spaces between fingers, becoming clear and clean.

The trashcan wasn’t tall, and its lid lifted slightly to allow the rainwater to flow in, but the light couldn’t reach inside. It was impossible to tell if the owner of the small hand was staring curiously at it.

Amidst the noisy storm, all other sounds faded away as this small hand played innocently with water.

The way raindrops splashed, the curve of fingers, everything moved slowly and clearly.

Through the heavy curtain of rain, Liu Zhi noticed Xia Xiuyin’s unguarded fascination and was shocked.

“Uncle Liu…” she called, but her lips moved so slightly Liu Zhi almost thought he misheard.

“Uncle Liu, could you hold the umbrella for me?” Xia Xiuyin repeated. Liu Zhi heard her clearly this time.

He snapped out of his daze.

“Young lady, you…”

“I just want to take a look.” Xia Xiuyin’s eyes glistened, and her usually calm voice took on an air of anticipation.

She was still a child, after all.

Xia Xiuyin wore her school uniform for the interview: a blouse, a pleated skirt, leather shoes, and white socks. She stepped into the rainy night, melding seamlessly with the elements.

Xia Yu would forever remember this rainy night: suffocating yet darkly romantic, dreary yet full of hope.

The expensive custom leather shoes stepped steadily through the water puddles, approaching her with each step.

The hand she extended outside the trashcan shrank back in surprise, only to be grasped by another.

The hand holding her own was clean and fair, with neatly trimmed nails and soft palms, carrying a hint of coldness from the rain.

She lifted her eyes timidly, only to meet a smiling gaze.

Xia Yu had never seen such a beautiful person. Her face was porcelain-fair, her nose small and pert, her lips as red and soft as flower petals, her eyes angled slightly upward, her irises brown, filled with a faint but warm smile, rippling with enticing allure.

Xia Yu stared blankly, her face reddening.

“Hello,” came a melodious voice, tinged with the slight huskiness of youth. “What are you doing?”

Xia Yu was used to being the subject of many stares: looks of disdain, looks of pity, looks of scorn, looks of indifference… All because of her dirty appearance and young age. Yet she had never encountered such a gaze, one that filled her with warmth and gentleness.

“Hm?” Perhaps due to Xia Yu’s lack of response, the girl lowered her head to peer closer, her tone lifting at the end in a soft query.

In those pretty eyes, Xia Yu saw her own grubby reflection, and the acrid smell that she had long since grown used to suddenly wafted into her nose. There was black mud under her fingernails, her clothes were ragged, and she feared she would dirty the girl.

At such a young age, she stood on her toes inside the trashcan, looking up at the pristine Xia Xiuyin, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of embarrassment.

With a little more strength, she pulled her hand back.

The trashcan lid closed with a loud snap.

Xia Xiuyin’s lashes fluttered slightly.

Xia Yu sat inside the trashcan, hugging her legs, careful to avoid her palm and scrubbing her hand’s back relentlessly. That was the hand the older girl had touched; it needed to be clean.

She listened, hearing the sound of another pair of leather shoes approaching. The footsteps were heavier, those of an adult man.

“Miss, do you want to call the cops?” Xia Yu heard the man say.

Miss… She must be the daughter of a rich family. How nice. She must not have experienced suffering before. How could such a pretty girl possibly suffer? Xia Yu’s mind wandered.

“Uncle Liu…” She heard Xia Xiuyin’s voice again, soft and slightly muffled, but Xia Yu still tried to make out the words.

Was she going to call the cops? Xia Yu scratched her knee with her other hand.

If this was the case, she would have to leave again. She didn’t like cops; they had never helped her, but she also didn’t resent them.

“Okay, miss,” Uncle Liu responded.

The voices outside ceased, leaving Xia Yu alone in her anxious state. Suddenly, someone knocked lightly on the trash bin’s lid from the outside.

“Wait for me.”

In the suffocating darkness, Xia Yu’s eyes widened.

Wait for her.

These words were new to her. This was the first time someone had given her hope.

The woman spoke briefly with Uncle Liu, and the sound of footsteps, light and heavy, echoed outside.

Xia Yu pressed her ears to the side of the trash bin, her whole body leaning forward.

The rain seemed to have finally lightened. She clearly heard the sound of a car door gently shutting, the engine starting, water splashing… Finally, it was the sound of rain falling.

These sounds paled in comparison to those three words.

Would she want her?

A dirty, smelly, and ugly Xia Yu?

Because she exerted too much force, the trash bin toppled over, and she fell to the ground, exposing a small portion of her body.

Like trash being tossed out.

In the rain, Xia Yu covered her burning face with her hands, listening to her own heartbeat pound against her rib cage, “boom, boom, boom, boom,” threatening to escape.

“Miss, please go back inside and rest.” Aunt Chen handed Xia Xiuyin a cup of warm water. The vapor from the liquid fogged up the girl’s features, creeping toward her eyes.

Xia Xiuyin smiled calmly at Aunt Chen. “It’s all right. Aunt Chen, you can sleep first. I’ll wait a little longer.”

It had been two hours since she stepped out of the bathroom; she had refilled the water in her hands five or six times, yet Fang Duan still hadn’t returned.

Aunt Chen was already getting on in years and couldn’t stay up late. She glanced at Xia Xiuyin, sitting alone in the spacious living room, and felt a pang of pity and concern.

Fang Duan really was despicable, she cursed in her mind.

Xia Xiuyin didn’t pick up a book, nor did she turn on the TV or listen to music. She sat upright, holding the tea cup in her hands and lowering her gaze, deep in thought. The warmth from the fur at her feet seemed to linger; she glanced down but saw nothing there.

At around 4 A.M., a commotion outside the door finally sounded, and someone went to greet the visitor.

Fang Duan kissed the scantily clad woman in his arms at the entrance, then stepped into the living room, shoes still on, only to see a familiar, beautiful, yet cold face. His heartbeat skipped a beat, then raced back to normal, leaving him momentarily stunned—then frightened.

Upon closer inspection, the woman before him looked much younger, her figure still flat. Fang Duan relaxed, assuming his role as a domineering father.

“Xia Xiuyin, what are you doing out of bed so late at night? Trying to summon spirits?”

A burp escaped his throat as he pinched the woman beside him, feeling only softness and warmth, nothing like—

Summoning spirits.

Xia Xiuyin smiled. “I was waiting for you, Dad.”

“Waiting for me?” Fang Duan dug through the alcohol-fogged mess in his brain, attempting to recall something. “Oh! I remember now.”

“You…” He pointed at Xia Xiuyin. “Go do an interview and make sure to give your old dad’s company a plug.”

“I…” He pointed at himself, giving a foolish grin. “Have one condition.”

Xia Xiuyin watched his father’s embarrassing display calmly, lips slightly curled.

“Sure.”

Fang Duan wobbled toward Xia Xiuyin, standing tall and pompous. “I allow you to keep a pet.”

After all these years, he had finally worn down Xia Xiuyin’s mother, and issuing orders to this woman bearing her face was especially satisfying.

Xia Xiuyin lightly tapped on the table. “All right.”