Happy Daily Life of a Reincarnated Noble Blessed with Vassals - Chapter 7

“Hey… Bro! Hey, are you even listening!?”

Oops, looks like I got too caught up talking with Command.

To summed up the situation with the underground organization: Rex Hesselink had gone all out, summoning his creatures and launching a full-scale assault on their headquarters. The members scattered and went into hiding, afraid that the Madman Rex might come after them. Since then, they’d kept a low profile and hadn’t made any move to try and reclaim Mary, who was now under the protection of House Hesselink.

“My bad. I was just remembering something from the past.”

“The past? Are you telling me the eccentric count reminisces about the old days? It’s definitely going to snow tomorrow. I should get Big Sis Alice to bring out the winter clothes.”

“Oh, you’ve got a mouth on you. Do you know what happens when you speak that way to your employer? Mary?”

“Oh? What sort of punishment would the kind count deal out? I’m actually curious.”

“Salary cut.”

“That’s stingy, but it still stings! I was just joking! I really do respect you from the bottom of my heart, bro. So? What were you spacing out about in this hellhole?”

Good point.

Even though we were on our own land, this place was crawling with those lizard-like creatures from earlier. It was not normal to be in danger in your own backyard, but that was reality here. Still, when I was talking to Command, I tended to drop my guard.

“I was thinking about the time we attacked the organization you were with.”

“And why now? Timing’s a bit off, don’t you think?”

Fair enough.

But it’s important. When we get back to the mansion, I should make sure to look into not just Mary’s background, but also the other retainers I acquired through the gacha. Odolski and Jean-Jacques seem especially complicated. And Yumika—she’s from a noble family, so I need to be prepared for any strange events that might come up. Oh, speaking of which, the Phantom King is still missing. Where is he? I mean, I’m not really sure how to handle him, so it’s fine if he stays missing for a while.

“I guess I was just thinking about how young I was back then.”

“That just makes even less sense. Well, I hear the story of the ‘Hesselink Nightmare’ has become popular in theater. Apparently, the lead is always played by some devastatingly handsome actor. The plot’s about the son of a noble family, a gifted summoner, taking down an assassin organization. Sounds like a real hit.”

The “Hesselink Nightmare”?

Not a name I’m fond of.

[The term refers to the incident where Your Excellency decimated the underground organization. The event revealed your exceptional talents to the entire nation, which had previously been known only in aristocratic circles.]

So, it’s short for the nightmare Rex Hesselink inflicted on the underground organization. I guess he really did make a scene, enough to inspire a play. Considering he’s known as a madman, he probably didn’t hold back. Sure, getting Mary might have been part of it, but still. I should probably aim for a quiet life from now on…

…Not likely. Seems like I was born under a chaotic star.

“In the play, the hero rescues an extraordinarily beautiful woman who’d been captured by the organization. But the only thing you got out of it was the title of ‘the craziest guy in the country.’ The dramatizations are really something.”

“Nonsense. What’s truly important is that I gained Mary, a precious little brother. Titles like ‘madman’ are just afterthoughts.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stop with the embarrassing lines. Let’s just get home already.”

Oh, he’s blushing.

Adorable.

Of course, if I said that out loud, that knife of his would probably be pointed at me. I wouldn’t stand a chance in a one-on-one fight. He’d disassemble me in minutes.

“Alright, let’s head home. We’ll probably be busy welcoming the Canilunya party for a while, so tonight, let’s just let loose. Everyone should join in and have some fun.”

“Sounds good! Oh, and by the way, Yumika was going on and on during the trip about how much she wanted to see you, bro. Make sure to give her some attention, alright?”

Aww, that’s so cute. No, really, Yumika is just adorable. She’s like the perfect mix of a toy poodle and an American shorthair cat—basically, the ultimate cuteness. I should give her a piggyback ride as soon as we get home.

Wait, maybe I should take a bath first, though. Wouldn’t want her to say I smell or something—that would kill me.

“Heh, you’re turning out to be a good big brother, Mary. Even you can’t help but spoil her when she’s that attached to you, huh?”

“Shut up. It’s not just me, the whole mansion spoils her. Still, I really need to get her to stop calling me ‘big sister’…”

Yeah, she does call Mary “big sister” instead of “big brother,” doesn’t she? I guess it can’t be helped given his appearance. But does she really not realize he’s a guy?

“No matter how many times I tell her I’m a guy, she stubbornly calls me ‘big sister.’ Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have parents—she might have some weird longing for a family.”

I’m the big brother. Odolski’s the father, Jean-Jacques is the grandfather, Mahdavikia’s the uncle, and Alice, Irina, and Mary are the sisters. Quite a lot of sisters in this family setup. But I guess that’s Yumika’s ideal version of a family.

[Perhaps I’m that distant relative who lives far away?]

No one even know you exist, Command. You’re basically “Friend A of her brother she’s never heard of.”

[…Someday, I’d like everyone to know I exist.]

Could that even work? Maybe I could say, “I can hear the voice of God,” and make it happen? Odolski might actually believe that. Though if word got out, I’d just get an even crazier reputation.

…Not that it could get any worse.

[Welcome back, my lord. I’m so glad you’re safe. And Mary, are you hurt? If you’ve got even a scratch on that pretty face of yours, I’d never forgive myself.]

Uh, should it be more worried about me than Mary? I mean, if Mary did get a scar on his face, I might lose my mind too, but still… could I get a little more concern?

[Everyone assumes you’re unkillable, Your Excellency. In fact, some nobles say they’d rather face a Class B or higher monster in the nude than confront you.]

Come on, I mean, sure, they wouldn’t die facing me, but they’d definitely die facing a monster. Is that how much they hate me? I’m really not well-liked by the nobility, huh.

“My lord, we’ve prepared the bath for you. Would you like to wash up?”

“Ah, I’ll take you up on that. Mary, you too?”

“Oh no, my lord!”

Alice’s eyes widened in horror, as if the idea of us bathing together was unthinkable. It was hard to even ask her what’s so wrong about it when she was making that face. I mean, it’s not illegal for two men to take a bath together, right?

Oh, maybe it was about servants and masters sharing the same bath.

“You can’t be thinking of bathing with a young lady! You must be more mindful, especially with the Canilunya family’s arrival.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Don’t mind her, bro. It’s just one of her usual delusions. Snap out of it, sis.”

Thud! A dull thwack echoed as Mary lightly smacked Alice on the head.

Hey, take it easy. That sound wasn’t exactly light.

“Oh my, I lost my composure for a moment. But no, it’s still not appropriate, my lord. You need to remember your standing as a noble. Even though Mary is unbelievably cute—so cute that just looking at him might improve your vision—he’s still your servant. You need to maintain clear boundaries or it will set a bad example for the others.”

Alice’s affection for Mary was a little overwhelming. She clearly doted on him, but if she wasn’t careful, it would start to feel suffocating. Just look at Mary’s face—he definitely wasn’t thrilled. It was a classic case of an overprotective sister who couldn’t let go of her little brother.

“Besides, Mary is going to have to spend time as a woman while the Canilunya family is visiting, so he needs to get used to it.”

“Is that true?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Gramps ordered it, so I went to Canilunya dressed as a woman before. They’ll probably let their guard down that way,” Mary said with a mischievous, masculine grin, while Alice let out a light, ladylike chuckle.

It seemed like the battle of retinues had already begun, even though I would’ve preferred if nothing happened at all.

“Oh, by the way, sis. Our Excellency here actually went and hunted some dragon meat. Where’s the old man? If it’s this time of day, he’s probably prepping in the kitchen, right?”

Speak of the devil. From the back of the mansion, Mahdavikia appeared in his chef’s coat, exuding his usual easygoing vibe. His scruffy beard, which normally made him look a bit worn out, suddenly gave him the air of a seasoned master chef.

“Did someone call for me, missy? Ah, young master, glad to see you’re safe. So, did you manage to get some dragon meat or what?”

“Yeah, here it is. Maddest Salamand. I was actually aiming for an Assault Dragon, but couldn’t find one. Think it’ll taste good sliced raw?”

“No way… You really hunted that? And Maddest Salamand of all things? Even royalty doesn’t get to eat that easily. Man, I still don’t fully understand you, young master.”

“Give it up, old man. Trying to figure out this monster is impossible. You’d have better luck understanding a magical beast’s feelings.”

This guy never learned. He shouldn’t have talked like that to his employer. Time to hit him with the spell that worked best on subordinates. “Dock your pay,” I chanted.

“Alright! My bad! C’mon, old man! Tonight’s a dragon meat tasting party, so give us the best you’ve got!”

Maybe I would actually dock his pay next time he stepped out of line. Although, I had to admit, his panicked face was kinda cute.

“Mahdavikia, here. You may not have much experience handling something so rare, but if anyone could, it’d be you.”

“Oh wow… for real? Actually, I did work with it once when I was in the royal palace. Yeah, I remember it’s got a nice warmth to it. If it’s this fresh, it’ll make perfect sashimi. No doubt about it. Ah, I’m getting pumped! Alice! Go grab Irina. We’ve got to hurry!”

Mahdavikia, cradling the package of dragon meat, disappeared into the dining hall at a speed I had never seen from him. If even the normally laid-back Mahdavikia got this excited, the meat must have really been something special.

I didn’t have to work too hard to get it, though—Gorimaru and Drazo practically did all the work.

“If the old man’s that pumped, then we’re in for something amazing. Ah, I can’t wait for dinner. Hey, you go take a bath and relax, bro. I’ll help out the old man after I rinse off my sweat.”

“I’ll do that. And make sure to let Odolski and Jean-Jacques know that we’ll be having dragon meat tonight.”

“Got it. But don’t count on catching Odolski. Ever since you decided to go dragon hunting in the forest, our muscle-brained knight, who’s obsessed with you, has been out hunting magical beasts. But I’ll definitely pass it on to Gramps.”