Happy Daily Life of a Reincarnated Noble Blessed with Vassals - Chapter 23

“They call him the Massacre General, but when you stop and think about it, that’s a pretty intense title, don’t you think, Gramps?”

Apparently, this title is so well-known that parents use it to scare their kids into behaving. They’d say, “If you don’t listen, the Massacre General will come for you!”

“Perhaps it was youthful recklessness,” Jean-Jacques responded. “Earth magic users tend to be underestimated. Many fools thought they could handle me one-on-one, and they rushed in. After tearing them apart and tossing them aside again and again, I eventually earned the nickname of ‘massacre.’”

“Wait, are you saying your ‘tearing apart’ wasn’t just a figure of speech?”

“Who knows? But if I must say something… When I was young, I wasn’t very good at holding back.”

“It’s common knowledge that you’re the most ruthless one around here, Gramps. The stories Big Bro Odo tells about your younger days are enough to make the faint-hearted pass out.”

“Haha! Perhaps you’re referring to the time I buried an entire enemy scouting party alive? Or maybe it was when I crushed the mansion of that rebellious lower noble?”

Stop! Jean-Jacques, stop! I’m one of those faint-hearted people, and if you keep going, I’m going to faint. I didn’t hear anything about burying people alive or crushing buildings. Nope. Must have misheard.

“Jean-Jacques, Mary, enough playing around. I’m going to start educating this brainless fool. Jean-Jacques, wipe out all the soldiers coming from the town.”

“As you wish. I apologize. It seems the excitement of returning to the battlefield has made this old man forget his age. Please forgive me.”

“No need to worry. But you seem more youthful than ever. Should we increase your time in the forest when we get back to Orenang?”

Such a considerate leader I am, lightening the mood with some casual talk between master and servant. What a thoughtful boss!

“Please do! Seeing how Odolski’s skills have noticeably improved has really stirred my blood.”

Rather than easing the tension, it seems I’ve just added fuel to the fire. Seriously? Looks like I’ll have to pull Hameslot out and assign him more duties at the estate.

“You’re practically a human weapon, and your blood still stirs? Seriously, what’s wrong with you Hesselinks?”

“You seem to forget, Mary, that you are one of the Hesselinks yourself.”

Before I could think, Jean-Jacques agreed with him. Of course, he would. After all, being a cross-dressing, elite assassin is way too much for anyone.

“That’s right. Remember that you are the latest masterpiece of Hesselink.”

“Hesselink’s latest masterpiece, huh? I suppose realizing that’s not half bad. So, I just have to keep the scout captain occupied, right?”

I meant that “latest masterpiece” thing as sarcasm, but he didn’t seem to mind. I’m starting to realize that it’s pointless to dwell on how offbeat my subordinates are. They do their jobs well, so complaining would just seem ungrateful.

“Make sure Filmy doesn’t escape. You know this, but don’t think of him as just a scout.”

“Got it. Sorry, Captain. My big bro and Gramps both recognize you as the most dangerous one here. You won’t be moving an inch.”

“To be recognized by the madman Rex Hesselink and the legendary Massacre General Jean-Jacques is the highest honor. However, in my current position, there’s no greater humiliation.”

It must be mentally exhausting for a captain of the marquis’ army to be held down by someone who looks like a slender girl or boy. But I don’t want him to get hurt—after all, I’m considering recruiting him. Sorry, Captain, but you’ll have to stay like that for a while longer.

“Don’t worry. I know it’s hard to tell from my appearance, but I’m actually an ex-member of the Dark Serpent. Yes, the same Dark Serpent crushed in the Hesselink Nightmare. I may not look it, but I’m pretty skilled… So, you can go ahead and worry about your life!”

What a ridiculous contradiction: telling someone to “go ahead and worry about your life” to reassure them. Honestly, if I knew his past, I wouldn’t be reassured at all.

“The Dark Serpent… Why?”

Filmy’s face turned pale. Of course, realizing you’re trapped by an assassin would be terrifying. Maybe noticing his reaction, Mary pulled the blade away from his neck just a little.

“Well, I owe my life to my big bro, so please, just don’t move, okay? House Hesselink officially intends to invite you into our ranks. Sure, the risk to your life will skyrocket compared to working for Artemitos, but the pay’s not bad. Your colleagues are all good people, and there’s no pointless bickering. Plus, our boss is the greatest man in the world. At the very least, unlike your foolish lord, we don’t look down on scouts.”

That’s a flawless recruitment pitch. And being called “the greatest man in the world” is flattering. I’ll have to think about a bonus later.

“…I’ll consider it. If I survive, that is,” the scout captain responded.

Good, good. In our house, we promise fair evaluation and compensation to skilled people. Though most of our main members were acquired through a stroke of luck, it looks like I’ll need to start persuading people myself from now on. Can’t miss out on these opportunities. So far, we’ve brought in Amy, Hameslot, and now Filmy. Not bad progress.

Alright, time to get to work myself. As soon as I turned my attention to the Foolish Lord, who had been standing there stunned by Jean-Jacques and Mary’s actions, he snapped back to life.

“I see. It seems that the servants of House Hesselink are as skilled as the rumors say. However, that is only because they are not your strength! Here and now, I will defeat you and prove my own worth to Lady Amy!”

Oh, come on. Don’t lump me in with you, Foolish Lord.

“Are you really going to do this? Honestly, I’m not all that eager. Besides, Lady Amy is already set to become my wife, so it’s not even up for debate. Competing with you doesn’t offer me any benefit. If we fight, the only result will be rumors spreading that a sitting count bullied the marquis’ heir.”

“I don’t know where your confidence comes from, but fine! If by some miracle you manage to defeat me, I’ll let you choose any part of the marquis’ territory to claim.”

The young master took the bait from such a cheap provocation. His retainers must be despairing for the future. If I were in their shoes, I’d start looking for another job right now and resign the moment leadership changed hands.

“What?! Young master!! What are you doing!?”

Of course they’d panic. Even though it’s just a verbal promise, he’s still casually betting away their land. Even I know that’s a bad idea. Why doesn’t he?

“Alright, calm down,” I said. “You’re an important witness, after all. Look at that old man’s face over there. He’s calculating the exact spot where our gain will be maximized and your loss will be at its worst.”

Filmy tried to interject, but Mary had him securely pinned down. And, yep, Jean-Jacques had that wicked grin on his face again. This time it wasn’t the same as when he created a mountain earlier—this was a different kind of maliciousness.

“You’re all demons…” Filmy resigned himself.

“We’re not just demons; we’re crazy demons.”

Please don’t drag me into this, thank you very much.