Gloves - Chapter 41

“Disgusting? So she has always found herself disgusting?” Shang Zhuoxi stood still, feeling as though her throat was being blocked, unable to utter a single sound. There is nothing more painful than to love someone and not be able to have them. Even though that person is right in front of her, she can’t see them clearly, can’t touch them.

A crisp ringtone broke the silence.

“An, I passed by the place you mentioned. Have you finished dinner?” Qi Ruan remembered that An Chujie had told her this morning that an old friend was going to treat her to dinner tonight, and the address seemed to be here. Qi Ruan rolled down the car window and looked inside.

“Yes, Xiao Ruan,” An Chujie replied, pressing her fingers against her temples.

“Call me when you’re ready, I’ll come in to pick you up,” Qi Ruan took out her lighter and prepared to wait for An Chujie like this.

“All right, dear, we can go home now,” An Chujie glanced at Shang Zhuoxi and suddenly changed the subject.

“Wow, An, what did you just call me? I was just about to…” Before Qi Ruan could finish her sentence, An Chujie hastily hung up the phone.

An Chujie’s voice and appearance when she answered the phone, once filled with tenderness towards Shang Zhuoxi, now seemed glaring and grating to her. “Chujie, are you with someone else?” Shang Zhuoxi’s heart started to panic. She couldn’t accept that An Chujie was now so repulsed by her because she had feelings for someone else.

“It’s none of your business,” An Chujie wiped away the last tear from the corner of her eye and coldly uttered those four words before turning around and leaving.

“Is that person Qi Ruan?” Shang Zhuoxi quickly grabbed An Chujie’s hand, still wanting to hold on.

“I just said so much, and President Shang didn’t hear a single word, did you?” An Chujie forcefully removed her hand from the grip and walked ahead quickly, leaving Shang Zhuoxi behind.

A car drove by, its headlights flashing and causing a sharp pain in Shang Zhuoxi’s eyes. Then came two arrogant honks. An Chujie hurriedly ran towards the car, the sound of her high heels echoing like a constant thud on Shang Zhuoxi’s heart.

Shang Zhuoxi recognized that car—the one Miss Hua Hua had been driving since meeting An Chujie. She hadn’t even changed her car.

The person who got out of the car confirmed Shang Zhuoxi’s suspicions.

Under the streetlight, An Chujie lifted her hands and hooked them around Qi Ruan’s neck, bringing her face closer. Their lips lightly brushed against each other, An Chujie’s red lips teasingly grazing Qi Ruan’s cheek.

“Kiss me,” An Chujie took a deep breath, mustering all her courage to utter those words.

“An…?” A kiss? Qi Ruan had always yearned for this kind of intimacy with An Chujie, but when she suddenly proposed it, Qi Ruan was momentarily taken aback.

“Hurry,” An Chujie’s voice sounded both pleading and commanding. She glanced slightly towards Shang Zhuoxi. Good, she was still watching them.

“Qi Ruan… Mmm…” The warm and moist breath sprayed onto Qi Ruan’s cheek, mixed with a hint of alcohol on An Chujie’s body, igniting a fiery desire. Without hesitation, Qi Ruan bit down on those trembling lips.

Shang Zhuoxi watched everything unfold before her, her blood boiling and rushing back to her brain. Her nose burned, causing her eyes to ache. The heavy stone that had been lodged in her chest seemed to grow even larger. In this moment, the beast within Shang Zhuoxi began to roar and rage, its face contorted with fury. She longed to tear Qi Ruan apart, starting from the mouth! Her nails dug deep into her palm, piercing through the gloves. Only by doing this could she hold onto the fraying nerve of Shang Zhuoxi’s almost collapsing sanity. An Chujie seemed to be enjoying herself, but Shang Zhuoxi had no idea that An Chujie’s entire body was trembling, her lips and tongue stiff, her body…

The car door closed, and as the headlights illuminated Shang Zhuoxi’s deeply wounded face, in an instant, An Chujie had the overwhelming urge to turn back and hold onto that person tightly. But she had a thousand screams in her heart, screaming at her to stay away from Shang Zhuoxi.

The atmosphere inside the car was equally heavy. Qi Ruan slammed her hand on the button, turning off the CD player. Unconsciously, her speed had already reached 120 miles per hour, the accelerator pressed firmly as her anger continued to escalate.

Apart from the low hum of the engine, there was no sound in the car. As long as Qi Ruan didn’t speak, An Chujie would not initiate any conversation, avoiding any particular topic.

A feeling of being used gradually surged in Qi Ruan’s heart. The term “dear” now felt incredibly bitter to her when she saw Shang Zhuoxi.

“Xiao Ruan, I’m sorry.” An Chujie had already said this sentence enough times tonight.

“I’m so jealous of that person with the surname Shang, you know? An?” Under the warm light, Qi Ruan continued to pour wine into her glass, the glass filled with wine acting like a magnifying glass, distorting the crimson marks on An Chujie’s neck in Qi Ruan’s eyes.

“Don’t mention her again.” What is there for Qi Ruan to be jealous of?

“I’m jealous that she can freely leave marks on you!” Qi Ruan held the glass in her hand and slowly approached the woman sitting on the sofa.

“I’m jealous…” Qi Ruan took another sip of wine and continued, “that she can easily manipulate your emotions and make you overcome significant psychological barriers to kiss me.” Qi Ruan sighed bitterly, feeling a chill in her heart from An Chujie’s actions.

“No, she can’t!” An Chujie immediately retorted, as if reminding herself not to let Shang Zhuoxi disrupt her life even for a moment. An Chujie stood up from the sofa, her eyes still red, but with a sharp gleam in them.

“Look, just mentioning her makes you lose control like this, let alone if she were standing in front of you. Wouldn’t you be unable to resist falling into her arms? What’s gotten into you today? Is it to make her give up? To make her sad? Basically, it’s all for her!” Qi Ruan said harshly.

“Do you still love her?” Those four words pained Qi Ruan even as she asked them.

“No,” came the decisive answer, but An Chujie couldn’t tell if it was directed towards herself or the other person.

“Who are you trying to fool, An Chujie? What do you take me for?!” Qi Ruan swung her hand back forcefully, and the glass cup smashed onto the marble coffee table, shattering into pieces.

“Don’t go crazy with alcohol in front of me!” The noisy sound of the shattered glass ignited An Chujie’s anger, and the words that came out of her flaming red lips carried fire.

Qi Ruan’s fiery temper, hidden for the sake of An Chujie, would of course also erupt for her.

“If it were Shang, I bet you would be more concerned about whether she gets hurt by these shards. An Chujie, how did I not realize who you truly are…” Qi Ruan’s words reached her lips, but suddenly she clenched her teeth shut.

“What am I?” An Chujie sneered, walking up to Qi Ruan, their eyes locked.

“A woman who only uses you, right?” Qi Ruan did have that impulse, but she fell silent. She felt like she may have hurt An Chujie.

“Heh, then let me tell you, Qi Ruan, if what you see and what you think is true, then this is who I am. So it’s better for you to stay far away from me!” After speaking, An Chujie walked around Qi Ruan and squatted down to clean up the mess. The transparent shards mixed with transparent tears fell into the trash can, and soon there were a few more crimson hues.

An Chujie felt an indescribable guilt and apology towards Qi Ruan, but she was tired, too exhausted to make any more explanations. Qi Ruan turned to look at the person squatting in front of the coffee table. She could clearly see the pale knuckles of An Chujie’s fingers, her hair falling to one side, and the protruding spine at the back of her neck. Qi Ruan suddenly realized that An Chujie seemed to have lost even more weight during this time, and her heart began to ache. She regretted her actions and words.

“An, I’m sorry,” she said, as if the words “I’m sorry” had become more and more frequent since falling in love with An Chujie.

“I made the mess, I’ll clean it up. Don’t touch those shards! Where’s the first aid kit?” Qi Ruan noticed the slender, crimson cuts on An Chujie’s hands, and her feelings of blame and anger dissipated, replaced by concern.

An Chujie ignored her, pressing against the wounds and continuing to pick up the sharp pieces. It was better this way, she thought. Consider it a punishment she deserved.

Relying on her memory, Qi Ruan found the first aid kit and insisted on treating An Chujie’s wounds without giving her a chance to refuse.

“Thank you. Qi Ruan, you can go now.”

“I’m sorry, An…” Qi Ruan hesitated, unable to find the right words.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You can go.” The one who should feel sorry is me.

After Qi Ruan left, the room fell silent. An Chujie could hear her own breathing and heartbeat. Glass after glass of vodka, Shang Zhuoxi’s face appearing in her mind again and again, impossible to shake off.

An Chujie stood up and walked to the balcony, attempting to let the strong wind carry away her uncontrollable thoughts. However, the cold wind was slowly taking away her warmth. At that moment, An Chujie suddenly yearned for a hug, a strong and tight embrace, just like the one from that domineering and annoying person, but she didn’t want that person to be Shang Zhuoxi.

—————————————————————————————————————————

The airport was brightly lit, bustling with people coming and going. Shang Zhuoxi looked around at everything, the footsteps of people becoming increasingly hurried, their movements blurring, as if disappearing in an instant. All that remained was an overwhelming sense of solitude, closing in on Shang Zhuoxi from all sides.

The flight at this hour wasn’t crowded, and the cabin was quiet. Shang Zhuoxi closed her eyes…

She dreamt of the An Chujie from the past, at 14, 16, 18… and the version of her from two years ago. Back then, An Chujie gave Shang Zhuoxi a sense of purity. Her soft hair flowing down to her waist, her beautiful smiling eyes, and the tear-stained face she cried with because of Shang Zhuoxi, the trembling body that sought comfort in her arms…

“Miss?” The flight attendant had been staring at Shang Zhuoxi for a while now, watching as her peaceful sleeping face started to show signs of change, a tear rolling down from beneath her long, curled lashes. The flight attendant wondered what sad thing she might be dreaming about.

“Shang… Zhuoxi?” the flight attendant cautiously called out, making sure she got the name right. This was the second time she had encountered this beautiful woman. The first time she saw Shang Zhuoxi, she left a deep impression. It was rare for her to be on this flight, and it was even rarer for her to be on duty at the same time. The flight attendant took a look at the name on Shang Zhuoxi’s ticket.

Shang Zhuoxi slowly opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the flight attendant’s enlarged face.

“What’s wrong?” Shang Zhuoxi quickly adjusted her sitting posture and looked outside the window, only to realize that they had already arrived.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I…” Before Shang Zhuoxi could finish her sentence, she felt a gentle touch on her cheek. The flight attendant used a tissue to wipe away the tear at the corner of Shang Zhuoxi’s eye and smiled.

“It’s late. You should hurry back and rest, Shang Zhuoxi.” The flight attendant’s voice sounded very gentle.

“Did you sneak a peek at my name?” Shang Zhuoxi unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up, now looking down at the flight attendant with a raised eyebrow, a hint of confusion in her expression.

“Mind your own business,” the flight attendant replied, mimicking Shang Zhuoxi’s expression by raising her eyebrow.

“I don’t have the free time to bother with you,” Shang Zhuoxi lowered her head and glanced at the flight attendant’s chest.

“Wang… Shi… Li.”