Gloves - Chapter 28

An Chujie returned home only to find that the door wouldn’t open, no matter how she tried. At first, she suspected that she had taken the wrong key, but later realized that the door might be locked from the inside. Shang Zhuoxi grew irritated as she listened to the sound of the lock turning. She decided to walk into her room and close the door, but soon after, she heard a muffled knocking at the door.

This wasn’t the first time it had happened. An Chujie took out her phone and called Shang Zhuoxi, but she hung up immediately. It was clear that Shang Zhuoxi was doing it on purpose. An Chujie couldn’t understand what she had done to upset her again. Shang Zhuoxi lay on An Chujie’s bed, surrounded by a chaotic mess of clothes that disturbed An Chujie, who liked things neat and tidy. She needed An Chujie to come in and tidy up this mess, but was it too early to go and open the door? Shang Zhuoxi leisurely made herself a cup of hot milk and returned to the living room, turning on the TV with the volume turned up to the maximum. She then put on her headphones and earmuffs and started browsing the internet.

“…doftheearth, thisisbbc…” The vibrations from the sound waves caused the door behind An Chujie to shake. Fortunately, this was a standalone villa with no neighbors nearby, otherwise someone would likely come with a stick to bang on the door in the middle of the night. An Chujie couldn’t understand what Shang Zhuoxi was trying to achieve.

After browsing through a large amount of fashion news, Shang Zhuoxi stretched lazily and finally got up to go to the door and unlock it. As she heard the lock being released, An Chujie quickly opened the door. But as soon as she stepped inside, her eardrums were oppressed. She covered her ears as if the whole house was about to be lifted up, with her chest vibrating along with it. She quickly grabbed the remote control and turned down the volume of the TV. Shang Zhuoxi walked towards An Chujie and sat down on the sofa.

“Don’t you have ears, Zhuoxi?” An Chujie approached and noticed how well-prepared Shang Zhuoxi was. An Chujie turned off the TV, and the whole house instantly became quiet. An Chujie stood in front of the sofa, staring at the person who was still engrossed in browsing the internet. Shang Zhuoxi took off her earmuffs and headphones, casually tossed them to the side, and continued with her own business, completely ignoring the person next to her. A few pieces of clothing hung on the sofa, twisted and unrecognizable. An Chujie caught a glimpse of the light still on in her own room. She walked over, and as she entered, she was confronted with a scene of utter chaos. The small flame of anger that had ignited outside the room began to spread uncontrollably within her.

“Shang Zhuoxi, can you please stop acting like a child?” An Chujie was truly irritated, her patience wearing thin. Shang Zhuoxi was capable of more than just causing trouble. The people outside remained silent, but the fire inside Shang Zhuoxi continued to blaze.

An Chujie tried her best to suppress her feelings of frustration and injustice. Taking a deep breath, she began picking up the clothes from the floor, folding them neatly, and placing them back into the wardrobe. It wasn’t the weekend, and she wanted to finish tidying up early so that Shang Zhuoxi could rest. She had to wake up early for work the next day.

Shang Zhuoxi walked to the doorway and watched An Chujie busying herself on the floor. Her hair was slightly disheveled, and her slender fingers, as they moved swiftly, displayed each protruding bone. Shang Zhuoxi’s heart ached. Each time she tormented An Chujie, she was tormenting herself as well.

“So, am I really that annoying?” Shang Zhuoxi believed that An Chujie found her irritating, so she felt guilty for not doing something to make An Chujie dislike her.

“You can be quite childish sometimes,” An Chujie replied honestly.

“I’m childish? Qi Ruan is so mature and considerate towards you,” Shang Zhuoxi crossed her arms, a defiant expression on her face.

“Qi Ruan is good to you, isn’t she? She has more time to spend with you and watch pufferfish, right?” Shang Zhuoxi pressed further.

An Chujie didn’t want to engage with Shang Zhuoxi for the moment. She understood why Shang Zhuoxi ended their phone call without saying anything earlier. She must have heard Qi Ruan’s voice.

An Chujie folded the last piece of clothing and stood up. Due to being in a crouched position for a long time, her head felt dizzy for a moment. She turned to Shang Zhuoxi and calmly said, “Go to bed early.” They didn’t have much time to spend together, and An Chujie didn’t want to waste it on arguments.

“Why aren’t you answering me?” Shang Zhuoxi disliked being ignored by An Chujie.

An Chujie turned back, gently touching Shang Zhuoxi’s face, and said tenderly, “How could I ever dislike you? Go rest, okay?” An Chujie’s response was brief and clear, as if she was coaxing a child.

But Shang Zhuoxi persisted, continuing to say hurtful words.

“Do you have a thing for that Qi girl?” Shang Zhuoxi knew she didn’t, but she wanted to hurt An Chujie because she had a good time with someone else today, and Shang Zhuoxi was feeling upset.

“What are you even saying?” How could An Chujie suspect herself of having feelings for someone else?!

“When I’m not around, she’s the one keeping you company, right? Oh, and maybe even Yi Heng. How do you have such charm?” Shang Zhuoxi lifted An Chujie’s chin, her gaze becoming sharp, her pupils narrowing.

“You go after both men and women, huh? Hmm? I can’t satisfy you, can I?”

“Stop it,” An Chujie found Shang Zhuoxi utterly unreasonable at this moment.

“What? Did I hit the nail on the head?” Shang Zhuoxi’s eyes flashed with a strange light.

“Let go of me!” An Chujie’s chin was being squeezed so tightly that she almost lost all feeling. Shang Zhuoxi had the audacity to bring up Yi Heng.

“You’re angry now, finally showing your true colors. I heard that Qi Ruan is quite skilled in bed, right? How about it? Are you in her…” Every word Shang Zhuoxi uttered felt like a marble, each one hitting An Chujie’s heart with force.

“Slap!” An Chujie couldn’t take it anymore. With red eyes, she gave Shang Zhuoxi a slap, interrupting her words. In an instant, tears welled up, her hand went numb, and the pain in her face pierced her heart.

“Shang Zhuoxi, have you had enough of your tantrum? In terms of money, I won’t owe you for long. In terms of emotions, I don’t owe you anything! Are you so happy to see me humiliated like this?” An Chujie’s trembling lips raised defiantly as she looked at Shang Zhuoxi’s face, which was turned aside from the impact of the slap.

“I’ve done everything I could for you. I’ve given you everything. Do you think I’m standing here just to be humiliated by you?” An Chujie’s voice carried a hoarse and tearful tone.

“For the sake of your little sense of security, I haven’t even been friends with Yi Heng for a long time. And what about you? When have you ever cared about my sense of security? Are you unhappy every time someone shows a little bit of concern for me?” An Chujie took a step forward and stood in front of Shang Zhuoxi.

“Every time I go to your hospital and see you cuddling with Xu Yuer, I have to pretend to smile. Have you ever considered how awkward and uncomfortable it feels for me to stand there? Have you ever cared about how much it hurts inside?” An Chujie wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, choking back her words that had been weighing on her heart for so long.

For the first time, Shang Zhuoxi was slapped in the face, and it burned. She stood there, unable to utter a word.

“There have been so many times when I wanted to ask you, who is Xu Yuer to you? How can you indulge her in every way possible? But I couldn’t find the position to ask you. I envy her for being able to be by your side every day. I envy her for being able to receive your doting affection. I belong to you, but you always belong to yourself. I can’t feel your love for me at all. All I feel is your possessiveness over me.” An Chujie covered her tear-streaked face, her shoulders trembling.

“Loving you is so exhausting, Shang Zhuoxi. I’ve been chasing after you, desperately following behind you. Don’t you feel even a tiny bit of heartache when you occasionally turn around?” An Chujie’s tear ducts seemed like they were on a timer, her slender body trembling.

“Perhaps one day, when I’m too exhausted to run anymore, you’ll turn around and never see me again. And by then, you…” An Chujie leaned against the wall, sobbing heavily. Who will take care of you at that time?

Apart from the love of parents, there is no such thing as unconditional love. They say that what a person lacks the most before the age of 18 is what they seek in everything they do as adults. Subconsciously, it seems that Shang Zhuoxi has elevated An Chujie’s demands to that of a mother’s level because a mother’s love never fades. She thought An Chujie was someone she could never chase away, and she never considered the possibility that she might stop pursuing her. But now that An Chujie has actually said it, she starts to panic.

Shang Zhuoxi walks up to An Chujie, pulling her into her arms. An Chujie pushes her away, crying out, “Don’t slap me and then try to pacify me with a few sweet words. I’m not a child. Either just say that you don’t love me, and I’ll stay far away from you and never bother you again.”

Shang Zhuoxi presses her lips against An Chujie’s teary eyes and pulls her into her arms once again. An Chujie struggles, saying, “Let go… mmm…” But Shang Zhuoxi silences her by covering her mouth, stroking her hair. An Chujie is tired from crying, and she can’t push Shang Zhuoxi away. She can only let her have her way with her mouth. Tears stream down, falling between their lips, and both taste the saltiness. An Chujie tries hard to remind herself not to fall into Shang Zhuoxi’s tenderness. She tries to stay rational and attempts to push Shang Zhuoxi away again.

Shang Zhuoxi looks at her, tears shimmering in her eyes. When An Chujie sees the teardrops clinging to Shang Zhuoxi’s eyelashes and the flushed face after she slapped her, An Chujie’s heart instantly softens. A wave of hot tears wells up in her eyes, and she cautiously lifts her hand to touch Shang Zhuoxi’s reddened cheek.

“Zhuoxi, I’m sorry. Did it hurt a lot?” An Chujie covers her mouth, crying in pain and starting to blame herself. She deeply regrets it. How could she bring herself to lay a hand on her.

Shang Zhuoxi gently holds that trembling hand, even through the gloves, she can feel the icy coldness of An Chujie’s fingers. She tries to smile as relaxed as possible and tells An Chujie, “It didn’t hurt. You’re so thin, there’s no strength behind your strikes.” Indeed, it didn’t hurt, but the burning sensation was too apparent. It was the first time she realized what it felt like to be slapped.

An Chujie didn’t anticipate Shang Zhuoxi’s reaction to be so gentle. She feels even more guilty now. The tears that were once filled with sadness have now turned into tears of gratitude and regret.

“You truly embody the saying ‘a woman is made of water.’ Why do you shed so many tears?” Shang Zhuoxi embraces An Chujie, this time she doesn’t push her away anymore.

“Chujie, do you know? In this world, there has never been anything that I strongly desire to possess, except for you. There’s no one else I want to deprive of their freedom in the name of love.”