Gloves - Chapter 16

As the end of the year approached, An Chujie spent more time in the piano room practicing and transcribing music. The remaining time was dedicated to reading, going for walks, and, of course, thinking about Shang Zhuoxi.

During this period, Shang Zhuoxi hadn’t come over or given her any updates. An Chujie didn’t expect Shang Zhuoxi to have much time to spare for her, considering how busy she was. Worried that Shang Zhuoxi might be overworking herself, An Chujie decided to cook some chicken soup to take to her. After all, they had agreed to be friends that day, so it was alright to show some care as friends.

Shang Zhuoxi’s office was empty, and the nurse informed An Chujie that Director Shang was busy with surgery. An Chujie decided to wait in her office.

Three hours later, Shang Zhuoxi returned, sweating profusely from a long and intense surgery. She was exhausted and immediately went to the separate room to wash her hands and put on new gloves. She didn’t even notice that there was someone sleeping on her couch and a small pot on the table. When she came out, she finally saw An Chujie sleeping on her couch.

Shang Zhuoxi had no idea how long she had been waiting. She looked at the time and realized it was already early in the morning. Luckily, the heating was still on, or else An Chujie would have caught a cold. Shang Zhuoxi opened the pot and a strong aroma filled her nose, instantly dispelling some of her fatigue. At that moment, Shang Zhuoxi felt incredibly touched.

An Chujie had a light sleep and caught a whiff of Shang Zhuoxi’s scent. She groggily opened her eyes, and upon seeing Shang Zhuoxi’s expression, immediately put on a disdainful look.

“Zhuoxi… the surgery is over,” An Chujie quickly touched the pot. “It’s still warm. You should drink it quickly, or it will really get cold.”

“No need. It’s almost cold anyway. You can deal with it yourself,” Shang Zhuoxi threw away the bottle cap and went back to her own tasks.

The soup hadn’t cooled down, but An Chujie’s heart turned cold. “But… I spent hours making it. Just try a sip, please.”

“There’s nothing to ‘but.’ Drink it yourself or pour it away. There’s a sink over there,” Shang Zhuoxi replied coldly, not even looking at An Chujie’s face as she focused on her computer.

She told her to pour it away. An Chujie’s heart felt icy. Her lips trembled. “Until when are you working tonight?”

“Not sure,” Shang Zhuoxi quickly responded, her voice cold as if telling An Chujie to leave early and not bother her work.

“Do you have a sore neck?” An Chujie thought, since she was already here, she could take care of her a little. She walked over and placed her hand on Shang Zhuoxi’s shoulder and started massaging.

The area above her shoulders was naturally sore, and An Chujie’s actions brought comfort to Shang Zhuoxi. However, she felt extremely uncomfortable inside. If An Chujie was doing this out of a sense of indebtedness, Shang Zhuoxi would rather not have it. She opened An Chujie’s hand.

“I’m fine. You should go home quickly.”

Shang Zhuoxi’s dismissive attitude towards her made An Chujie feel powerless. “Okay, I won’t disturb you anymore,” she said, her voice trembling slightly.

An Chujie covered the soup, opened the door, and left Shang Zhuoxi’s office.

Watching her frail figure, Shang Zhuoxi felt a faint pain in her left chest. But when she thought about how An Chujie wasn’t genuinely concerned about her, she gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to call her back.

As An Chujie was going downstairs, she ran into Tu Yi, who was starting the night shift.

“Oh, the poor little thing came to see Director Shang again, huh? Hm? Why are your eyes all red, like a little bunny that’s been crying?” Tu Yi looked at An Chujie, pityingly patting her head.

“Let me tell you, sis, crying in the middle of the night is just as bad as working this goddamn night shift. It leads to collagen loss, you know? Look at me, ever since I started this job, no man has ever pursued me again. You better cherish that pretty little face of yours,” Tu Yi said, looking at An Chujie’s pot with a sour expression.

“If someone with good taste could make me some porridge or soup or something, maybe I could salvage some collagen!”

An Chujie had a decent impression of Tu Yi. Although he could be a bit talkative, she found being around him quite relaxing. She lifted her hand and said, “It’s warm. If you want to drink it, you can take it.”

“What?” Tu Yi immediately grabbed the item in An Chujie’s hand. The moment he unscrewed the bottle cap, he was almost blissfully melting with happiness. Without hesitation, Tu Yi eagerly pulled An Chujie to the duty room and they shared the delicious chicken soup with Xiao Li. After finishing, he let out a satisfied belch.

After An Chujie left, Tu Yi finally thought of something important. What did they drink, and what did Director Shang drink? No wonder the poor girl had such a sorrowful expression.

“Lily, why is it that the poor girl treats the queen so well, but the queen doesn’t appreciate it at all?” Tu Yi looked puzzled.

“Maybe Director Shang prefers men!” Xiao Li said, looking at Tu Yi with disdain.

“No wonder you straight girls have such low emotional intelligence! Let me ask you, do you think there’s any man who can handle Director Shang?”

“…,” Xiao Li didn’t say anything, paused for a moment, and then shook her head.

“Well, there you have it. And let me tell you…” Tu Yi began to educate Xiao Li once again.

—————————————————————————————————————————

As Shang Zhuoxi made her rounds, she would often catch a faint whiff of familiar chicken soup scent when passing by the nurses’ station. Seeing the unwashed dishes on the lazy duo’s table, she knew exactly what had happened. It seemed that An Chujie only did surface-level work and casually offered things she didn’t want to others.

If there was any pleasure in Shang Zhuoxi’s tired and busy work life, it was going to the gym to exercise and teasing An Chujie, as if she wanted to squeeze every last drop out of her.

She would go to An Chujie’s house in the middle of the night and kick her out of her own bed to sleep in the guest room. In the early morning, she would call An Chujie to make her breakfast and deliver it to the hospital. She would always ask An Chujie to bring her some delicious food she had made, regardless of whether An Chujie had other tasks to attend to. Even when they were together, Shang Zhuoxi wouldn’t make it easy for An Chujie. For example, when Shang Zhuoxi answered a phone call, she would immediately kiss An Chujie, passionately taking control until the other person was left breathless. She would nitpick about what they ate, and when they were almost done, she would demand that An Chujie make another serving. After finishing, Shang Zhuoxi would just toss it aside, and so on…

She wanted to see An Chujie get angry. Shang Zhuoxi only felt a sense of accomplishment when An Chujie was angry or furious. But it seemed like An Chujie had transformed into her student days self, having almost no temper with her. This made Shang Zhuoxi quite annoyed.

That’s how Shang Zhuoxi behaved, and this is how An Chujie perceived it.

An Chujie saw Shang Zhuoxi’s actions as excessive dependency. If she started depending on herself, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Secondly, the nature of Shang Zhuoxi’s work meant she often needed relaxation. An Chujie didn’t want her to have too many unpleasant experiences outside of work, so as long as Shang Zhuoxi was happy, An Chujie would go along with it.

—————————————————————————————————————————

The end-of-year performance arrived as scheduled, and An Chujie handed Shang Zhuoxi a VIP ticket, hoping that she would attend the long-awaited concert she had prepared.

Shang Zhuoxi glanced at An Chujie, lifted her eyelids in annoyance, and took the ticket from her. She examined it front and back before saying, “Fine.”

Her quick and straightforward agreement caught An Chujie off guard. Of course, Shang Zhuoxi had to say yes. Only by agreeing and not following through could she truly hurt An Chujie’s heart.

The cold winter wind was harsh enough to sting the skin. People on the streets tucked their hands into their pockets, hunching their bodies in hopes of retaining some warmth. But inside a semi-spherical building, the audience sat in cozy comfort as the pianist played soothing music for them.

The male pianist, dressed in a black tuxedo, stood up and took a deep bow before exiting the stage to enthusiastic applause.

An Chujie put on her high heels, lifted her fluffy skirt, and slowly made her way onto the dark stage. As the lights illuminated the moment, An Chujie couldn’t help but feel nervous.

This was her first time performing on such a high-end and glamorous stage. The previous performers had all been seasoned professionals, and the intangible pressure made An Chujie uneasy. A sense of disappointment also arose from the vacant seat in the front row. Shang Zhuoxi hadn’t come, despite her promise.

The applause that had just begun abruptly stopped as the audience noticed the elegant girl taking her first step, only to realize that she had a limp.

The venue fell silent, and everyone listened to the rhythm of the different sound her uneven high heels made on the stage. An Chujie pulled out the chair, took a deep breath, placed her hands on the keys, and slowly began her performance.

The melodic sound of the piano filled the hall, pleasing the ears of the listeners. An Chujie played with all her heart, reminiscent of her carefree youth. In the center of the stage, her back stood tall, her beautiful neck curved gracefully like a proud swan. As the lights dimmed, the rhythm suddenly became exhilarating. The audience was engulfed in darkness, but their ears were filled with intense impact. An Chujie’s fingertips danced across the keys, her agile fingers moving like furious little spirits, as if expressing the unspoken pain in her heart.

Among the audience, several musicians in the front row recognized that this was An Chujie’s adaptation of Frank Mills’ “Stay Awhile.” One of the organizers even covered their mouth in disbelief. An Chujie’s makeup made her appear at least three years older than her actual age. Yet, she was still a young girl in her twenties. After a storm of captivating music, the echoing sounds in the hall changed with the shifting lights, becoming gentle and luminous, like a phoenix’s heart still carrying an undying hope despite its rebirth.

Finally, this awe-inspiring piece ended with a subtle yet profound D major chord, as if telling everyone that we will eventually return and face reality. An Chujie sat in front of the piano, closed her eyes for two seconds, then stood up and turned around to bow in gratitude to everyone who came to listen. Thunderous applause erupted from the audience, continuing for a long time. An Chujie looked at the empty seat with a smile tinged with a hint of sorrow. Only Shang Zhuoxi, who always stood in the shadowy area at the back of the hall, could understand the loneliness in her eyes.

With a triumphant smile, he knew that An Chujie’s performance would have this kind of effect. An Chujie herself didn’t know that this performance would be a turning point in her life.

After the performance, she successfully attracted the attention of two other major entertainment companies.

An Chujie removed some of her makeup and let her hair down, instantly transforming back into that innocent and elegant young girl.

“How can she, at only 22 years old, possess such profound and delicate emotions?!”

“Perhaps she was born to be an artist.”

“Hard to believe it!”

“……”

The crowd discussed and found An Chujie, telling her to hold on for a moment and have dinner together after the concert. She gladly agreed.

After An Chujie left the stage, Shang Zhuoxi immediately took off her short work uniform and replaced it with her comfortable and high-quality gray coat. Once she made sure that An Chujie didn’t see her, she drove home.

Sometimes, Shang Zhuoxi didn’t even know what she was holding on to. It was because of that piece of music that she fell in love with 16-year-old An Chujie. Every note that An Chujie changed struck Shang Zhuoxi’s heart, as if telling her to love boldly. An Chujie on the stage was so beautiful, unbelievably beautiful, and she wanted to possess her once again. But she was afraid that An Chujie would leave her again. Perhaps if she never had her, she wouldn’t have to experience the pain of losing her. Shang Zhuoxi’s feelings for An Chujie were even more complex than An Chujie’s feelings for her.

On one hand, Shang Zhuoxi deeply understood the severity of the harm she had caused An Chujie. She felt indebted to An Chujie and didn’t know how to repay her, yet she was unwilling to admit it. So she found various reasons to make An Chujie feel like she owed something to herself. Only through creating this illusion could Shang Zhuoxi find some solace.

On the other hand, she felt heartbroken for everything An Chujie went through. She longed for the love An Chujie had once shown her and wanted to love her deeply in return. But because the harm had already been done, she couldn’t simply take from An Chujie as she did before. So she resorted to hurting her, using forms of torment to seize An Chujie’s care and concern.

In simple terms, Shang Zhuoxi was afraid and selfish.

She was afraid that if she had hurt An Chujie, An Chujie would no longer love her. If their feelings were imbalanced, with Shang Zhuoxi loving An Chujie while An Chujie only repaid a debt, it would be unfair. That would mean she lost, but she didn’t want to lose to An Chujie.