Everyone Wants To Harm Me - Chapter 69

Luoyang had been the capital of the previous dynasty. When it was built, to prevent assassins from sneaking in via the waterways, the entire imperial city had been constructed without any channels, save for a moat surrounding the outer perimeter. The Imperial Garden had been rebuilt several times since then. By now, it held only a small artificial pond, thirty to forty feet wide. In summer, it was choked with lotuses, crowding the already narrow surface—much like that cramped palace, walled in on all sides, suffocating and airless. Everyone there could only crane their necks toward the sky, competing for the limited sunlight and rain.

The lake in Rui Garden was so vast that one couldn’t see from end to end. Just circling it in a small boat took an entire afternoon. On windless days, the surface rippled gently, sparkling in the light. When the wind blew, waves a foot high crashed against the shore, full of vitality—unlike that stagnant little pond. Without annual cleaning, it turned into a rotting grave for weeds, duckweed, and insects.

I sat on the railing beside the pond, watching dragonflies skim the surface, pecking at mosquito larvae. After a full summer, the plants around were thick and lush. The pond, though only a few feet deep, was already too dark to see the bottom.

They said many people had drowned in that shallow pond in the imperial garden. The tangled water plants below were all vengeful spirits trapped there. If they got the chance, they’d drag you down with them.

I had become more and more like my aunt—enjoying solitude. I had dismissed the eunuchs and maids, told them not to disturb me. I liked being alone with the sky, water, flowers, trees, birds, animals, insects, and fish. Their vitality was far simpler, purer than human beings.

Could “Mojin Gu” see the evil thoughts of other creatures, too? Tigers and wolves killed antelopes and rabbits. Dragonflies preyed on larvae. In that moment, were their thoughts considered evil?

I leaned out from the railing, close to the water, trying to hear the voice of a dragonfly.

The palace attendants were far away, but I heard soft footsteps approaching behind me. I turned and saw the Third Prince.

He was only eleven, pampered since birth. Pale and frail, even standing, he was barely as tall as I was sitting. His hand had already reached for my sleeve, but he jerked it back when he saw me turn.

Blinking his black-and-white eyes, he timidly asked, “Sister County Princess, what are you sitting here looking at all alone?”

“What does the Third Prince want to do?” I glanced at his clenched fist. “Push me in?”

Exposed, he suddenly lashed out in fury, lunging forward and shoving me hard. An eleven-year-old boy already had some strength. Perched unsteadily on the railing, I fell backward—only catching myself by hooking my toes on the wood to keep from falling.

As he pushed me, he cried out in a soft voice, “Sister County Princess, what’s wrong? Quick, grab my hand! Someone come—help!”

Since he told me to grab on, I did. I grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let go.

He was clearly a thin, immature child, but in his fury, his face twisted with a savage, grotesque expression: “I sent everyone away—no one will come to save you! Witch! You slandered and accused my mother in front of the Emperor, causing her death! You failed to become a consort and now want to marry me, hoping to become Empress someday! Even if I can’t kill you now, once I ascend the throne, the first thing I’ll do is get rid of you—send you to the underworld to avenge my mother!”

He really did hate me. Noble Consort Chu truly had died because of me. I wondered—when he became emperor, and his father passed me to him like a sharp blade, telling him my true purpose—would he still insist on avenging his mother?

For a moment, I thought drowning in the pond wouldn’t be so bad. I could escape that cage and fate, like my aunt. Before she died, she had worried about me—what I would do without her. But there was no one I worried for, no one who couldn’t live without me.

I released my leg from the railing. The Third Prince’s balance collapsed. We both flipped over the edge and fell into the pond.

The water near the shore was shallow, only waist-deep. I landed on my knees at the bottom, still above the surface.

The Third Prince was less lucky. He fell past me into the deeper center. The water there was nearly head-deep. He was too short—thrashed wildly, head bobbing up once to cry for help, then sank again. It looked like the water plants had caught him.

No one came to help. He had made sure of that.

I watched him struggle a while, then waded through the water and grabbed his arm, dragging him back to shore. I yelled, “Help! The Third Prince fell in the water!”

He was unconscious from choking. I slapped him twice, punched his chest. He lurched, spat out a mouthful of dirty water with leaves and mud, and started coughing.

His attendants, hearing the commotion, finally rushed over in panic.

I said to the lead eunuch, “The Third Prince is young and mischievous. In the future, stay close. Don’t leave him unattended.”

The eunuch lowered his voice, “It was the Third Prince who asked me to go…” He didn’t finish the sentence. The servants hurried to carry him ashore, took off their coats, and covered him.

I instructed them, “You two, help him back to change and call the imperial physician. Don’t let him catch a cold.”

“Yes, yes—thank you for your timely rescue, County Princess. Please take care of yourself too.”

The Third Prince, now awake, lay on the eunuch’s back. He looked at me with a complicated expression, then lowered his head without a word.

I was soaked through, water dripping from my clothes. When I left the garden, a cold breeze hit me. I sneezed and walked back alone.

On the way, I ran into a few eunuchs from another palace, who escorted me back to Yanning Palace. The maids there were shocked by my appearance and hurried to help me. One said, “Prince Xin is here. Several monks from outside the palace are setting up in the Buddhist hall.”

I drank a bowl of hot ginger soup to sweat it out, bathed, changed, and dressed again before heading to the Buddhist hall.

Inside, several monks were arranging the altar. Prince Xin stood off to the side, arms behind his back, silently watching.

As soon as I crossed the threshold, I recoiled at what I saw.

I had seen many kinds of evil thoughts—greed, lust, theft, violence—most were no different from the actions of petty criminals, just imagined rather than acted out. Some were exaggerated, like Duke Anguo and Grand Tutor Gao brawling: Duke Anguo had imagined pulling Gao’s beard three feet long and twisting his face.

But that was the first time I saw ambition—true ambition—manifested by Mojin Gu in such an immense, towering form.

I had been right. Prince Xin had ambition—ambition so rebellious it must be destroyed. And he was proud of it.

He disdained the gods and Buddhas above, held the mountains in his palm, trampled the rivers underfoot, and gazed down on all living things. He wanted to rule the world.

I stepped back. Prince Xin noticed me, retracted his thoughts, and approached.

“Sister Yao, you’re back.” He stepped out and signaled the maid to leave. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

I bowed. “Thank you for waiting, Your Highness. How long will this ritual last?”

“It’s the Zhongyuan Festival the day after tomorrow. From then, it will last 21 days, until early August. The Empress Dowager wanted 49 days, but I can’t stay that long. So I’ll keep it to July.”

“Forty-nine days would take us to September. Doesn’t Your Highness have a wedding in August?”

Prince Xin smiled. “After all this effort to meet you, is that what you want to say to me?”

I glanced at the monks behind him. “Does Your Highness truly believe in this? Are the ancestors restless, or is it just the living who can’t accept their passing and the loss of their legacy?”

Prince Xin went quiet.

“You have great ambitions and hate being caged,” I continued, looking up at him. “I can help you.”

He stared at me for a long time before smiling. “So this is why you asked Li Minghai to set up this private meeting.”

Why else? If he hadn’t already guessed, he wouldn’t have gone through the trouble to meet me.

But then he asked again, “Duke Peng is already on my side. You’re just a powerless girl. How can you help me?”

“From now on, the Emperor will visit Yanning Palace daily. We can plan slowly.” The Emperor had also asked me to keep a close watch on Prince Xin during that time. “On the Zhongyuan Festival, after the ancestral rites, the Emperor will host a banquet in Ganlu Palace to test the ministers’ positions on establishing a crown prince.”

Prince Xin frowned. “Such an important matter should be discussed openly. Why test it at a night banquet?”

Because I wasn’t allowed in Zichen Palace during the day. I could only eavesdrop behind the dark bamboo curtain at night.

“Almost every important official of fifth rank or above will attend. Does Your Highness have a trusted aide with good memory among them? Please have them record the seating order, and if possible, include their appearance and clothing for reference.”

Prince Xin looked confused. “Why?”

“Because I don’t know many people, and I can’t promise I’ll remember everyone.”

He studied me seriously. He couldn’t guess my plan yet, but with his instinct for ambition, he knew that request wasn’t ordinary.

“Can you really help me?”

“Whether I can or not—we’ll have to wait and see. I won’t speak carelessly,” I replied. “But if one day I help Your Highness get what you want and rise above everyone else, I hope Your Highness will grant me one request.”

“What is it?”

“Let me leave the palace. Give me my freedom.”