Do Not Laugh! This Is a Horror Movie - Chapter 3

The faint light of the oil lamp, flickering indistinctly, illuminated the bloody human head on the windowsill.

The scalp of the head had been torn off, exposing the vivid red subcutaneous tissue.

The face of the head appeared to have been cut by a sharp object, with clotted blood in the crisscrossing lacerations, rendering it unrecognizable.

The eyes of the head had also been gouged out, leaving only two gory holes; the lips were also cut off, exposing two rows of eerie teeth.

It faced towards the bed, as if smiling.

Undoubtedly, it was the tall man who had died last night; his body had vanished, but now his head had appeared.

At the same moment, Xiaohui turned her gaze and also saw this horrifying scene.

Her hands and feet turned cold, and her liver and gall split with fear, looking as if she was about to scream in the next second.

At the crucial moment, Fu Lanyu slapped her, firmly covering her mouth.

“Do you want to die?” Fu Lanyu warned in a low voice.

“What do you think the head is doing here for? It’s meant to make you violate the rules and yell loudly.”

“…”

Xiaohui trembled all over, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably.

“Miss Fu, I’m scared…”

“Being scared is normal; I was scared back then too,” Fu Lanyu said. “You’ll get used to it gradually, then you won’t be scared anymore.”

She put her arm around Xiaohui, lightly patting her shoulder as a form of comfort.

The mournful song continued.

“The bridal gown is red,

The poison is white…

May the woman you caress bleed endlessly,

One night of passion was not, was not my fault;

May the woman you caress rot,

One night of passion was not, was not my fault…”

Xiaohui huddled in Fu Lanyu’s arms, not daring to look up, while Fu Lanyu kept her eyes open, continuously monitoring the human head on the windowsill.

It was strange; perhaps because the two were too quiet and showed no reaction, the last oil lamp suddenly extinguished.

Intuition told her that as the light disappeared, the head also vanished.

“The head is gone.”

“…What?” Xiaohui cautiously looked up, glancing nervously at the windowsill.

“How are you sure? What if the light just went out, but the head is still there?”

“What’s the point of it staying in our room all night?” Fu Lanyu answered calmly.

“Seeing that we didn’t fall for it, it naturally went to scare others. Someone will eventually fall for it.”

Xiaohui was half-skeptical. “Will anyone fall for it?”

“Yes.”

As if to confirm Fu Lanyu’s words, not long after, a piercing scream suddenly came from a room at the end of the corridor, its volume almost drowning out the female ghost’s song. It was a man screaming.

Xiaohui nervously asked, “Who fell for it? Miss Fu, can you tell?”

Fu Lanyu yawned, clearly unconcerned about such matters, but still gave an answer.

“The one wearing glasses.”

Her senses were keen, and identifying people by their voices was certainly her specialty.

Xiaohui burrowed completely under the covers, her body shaking uncontrollably.

“He’s dead tonight.”

Having violated the rule against loud noises at night, the bespectacled man’s fate would be the same as the tall man’s.

Perhaps tomorrow night, the head on the windowsill would be his.

“Indeed.”

After saying those two words, Fu Lanyu rolled over, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

✵✵✵

Xiaohui hadn’t slept again all night; the dark circles under her eyes were even heavier, and she looked utterly haggard, as if she had just recovered from a severe illness.

In stark contrast to her was Fu Lanyu, who was refreshed when she woke up early, looking like she could run a marathon at any moment.

“Go wash your face with cold water; it’ll clear your head.”

Xiaohui sighed.

“Washing my face isn’t urgent. Shouldn’t we go confirm whether that bespectacled man from last night actually died or not…”

However, before she finished speaking, a girl’s scream echoed from the end of the second-floor corridor.

“He died,” Fu Lanyu nodded. “You can wash your face in peace now.”

“…”

So Xiaohui timidly washed her face, and the two walked together to the bespectacled man’s room, where they found others already gathered.

Kiki was slumped on the ground, covering her face and crying inconsolably, while Wang Xin was quietly comforting her.

Fu Lanyu glanced inside the room. The situation was largely the same as yesterday: the bespectacled man’s body was also gone, and blood splattered everywhere in the room, with tiny碎肉碎骨 fragments of flesh and bone splattered on the tabletop and floor.

Another one was slaughtered.

“Two people have died now, and the next one might be us!” Kiki cried. “How could we possibly escape?!”

“He died because he violated the rules,” Fu Lanyu said. “You didn’t make loud noises at night, so what are you afraid of?”

“Right, right, I heard someone scream last night too,” Wang Xin said, puzzled. “But why would he scream for no reason?” He lived on the third floor, and the head appeared on the second floor last night, so he was unaware.

Fu Lanyu calmly retorted, “If you saw the head of the person who died the night before last, covered in blood and placed on your windowsill, smiling at you, would you scream?”

“…”

Kiki’s eyes were red, filled with terror and astonishment. “What? Are you saying there was… a dead person’s head on the windowsill?”

“Yes, it seems that only those living on the second floor saw it for now.”

“But I didn’t see it!”

At this point, Qiao Yunzheng, who had been watching the commotion from the side, spoke unhurriedly.

“The female ghost checked the rooms in order. You live in the last room down the corridor, and the person in the second-to-last room violated the rules first, so you escaped this time.”

“…”

Kiki involuntarily shivered. Fortunately, that was the case, otherwise, if the head had appeared, she would have certainly screamed, and then she would have been the one to die last night.

Qiao Yunzheng said with a smiling face, “Be careful tonight too. Perhaps the head on your windowsill will be your neighbor’s instead.”

“…”

Kiki dared not listen anymore, covered her ears with her hands, and ran downstairs.

“Let’s go down too,” Fu Lanyu closed the door casually, suggesting naturally, “It’s time for breakfast; I’m hungry.”

Xiaohui: “Your appetite is truly king-tier.”

“You flatter me. I’m king-tier in all aspects.”

“…”

The others also tacitly agreed to the suggestion, planning to go downstairs to the kitchen to see if there was any leftover stewed meat in addition to steamed buns this morning.

However, halfway down the stairs, they heard Kiki’s heart-wrenching scream coming from the direction of the kitchen, and this time, it was more tragic than any previous scream.

The couple moved faster and arrived downstairs to find Kiki had fallen, crying and scuttling backward, her pale little face covered in tears.

Kiki wailed, “I shouldn’t have eaten it… I shouldn’t have eaten it! Ugh…”

Her legs were too weak to stand, and she crawled with difficulty to a corner to vomit.

Li Chenguang was utterly puzzled. He leaned forward to glance into the kitchen. Just that one glance made his pupils constrict violently, and his face immediately turned ashen. At the same time, Beibei, who was close behind him, also saw it.

The next second, the couple pushed and shoved each other, stumbling blindly towards the restroom, and soon after, sounds of vomiting came from inside, one after another.

Wang Xin was frightened and froze on the spot for a moment, wanting to move forward but not daring to.

Xiaohui tugged at Fu Lanyu’s sleeve, her voice trembling. “Is there something dirty in the kitchen? Could it be a human head again?”

“Perhaps. Are you interested in going to see?”

“…No, no.”

Fu Lanyu didn’t force Xiaohui. She walked alone to the kitchen, standing at the doorway and looking inside.

Hmm. No wonder; the scene was even more disgusting than she had imagined.

The steaming iron pot from last night had vanished, and the fragrant stewed pork was also gone. In its place was a headless, mangled corpse, with blood splattered everywhere.

The corpse lay on the stove, disemboweled and boned, its entire torso resembling an emptied container, with many neatly cut pieces of meat and broken internal organs still inside. And the bowls, chopsticks, and ladles scattered around the stove were all stained with blood.

Last night, they had actually dug out flesh and blood directly from the tall man’s corpse, yet they had chewed it with relish.

Fu Lanyu frowned slightly, then heard someone beside her say, “Experiencing the primitive life of eating raw meat and blood, it’s like returning to simplicity.”

She turned her head to see Qiao Yunzheng had approached at some point, his face full of leisurely ease.

“Indeed, just treat it as human flesh sashimi.”

Anyway, he and she hadn’t eaten any, so they didn’t mind making sarcastic remarks.

Fu Lanyu stepped over the bloody floor, went in to get two steamed buns, and handed one to Xiaohui. Eating steamed buns was quite good; at least they didn’t have to be primitives.

Xiaohui took a bite of her steamed bun, feeling both scared and curious. “What exactly is inside? Was it really a human head?”

“I advise you not to ask, and not to look. Otherwise, you might not even dare to eat steamed buns anymore.”

“…”

Following good advice leads to a full stomach. Xiaohui trusted Fu Lanyu in this regard, and besides, having seen Kiki and the couple vomit like that, she wasn’t going to look for trouble.

But there were those who couldn’t suppress their curiosity, like Wang Xin. Seeing Fu Lanyu and Qiao Yunzheng remain calm after seeing it, he thought it was no big deal, so he also took a look.

Three seconds later, he screamed and plunged into the restroom.

Qiao Yunzheng sighed, turned his head, and smiled at Fu Lanyu. “Why did he have to do that?”

“You can say that again.”

✵✵✵

The kitchen door was closed by Fu Lanyu, preventing passersby from finding it an eyesore. In the afternoon, the sunlight was sparse, and the entire small town was shrouded in gloomy mist, filled with an oppressive atmosphere.

Fu Lanyu asked Xiaohui if she wanted to go out for another round with her, explaining that clues could refresh at any time in the game, so they couldn’t let their guard down. But Xiaohui hesitated, clearly reluctant to go.

“Miss Fu, I actually can’t help much by following along; instead, I’ll likely be a burden to you.”

“It seems you know your place well.”

“…”

“But I’m not bringing you because I expect your help; rather, it’s to help you adapt to the environment,” Fu Lanyu said. “I can’t always guide you through levels. What if you transmigrate alone in the future? Will you just shrink in your room and wait to die?”

Xiaohui was speechless for a moment. “Why can’t you always guide me?”

“First, as your level gets higher, the difficulty of the transmigrated worlds also increases. Who would be willing to risk it to guide you? Second, even if someone was willing, you wouldn’t be able to afford it, let alone haggle over the price.”

“…”

Xiaohui flopped onto the bed, feeling the road ahead was bleak.

Fu Lanyu’s persuasion was always to the point, never forcing. After all, their relationship was merely that of client and service provider. Once this task was over, they would go their separate ways. She wasn’t cultivating talent for the country.

She left the room and, downstairs, met Qiao Yunzheng coming towards her. Their eyes met, and Qiao Yunzheng smiled pleasantly.

“Little girl, going out?”

“Yes, just to clear my head.”

“Hmm.” He nodded leisurely. “Go clear your head at the house with the bloody handprint.”

Fu Lanyu wasn’t surprised by his words. This was a low-level game, and it was relatively easy for experienced veterans to find hints. They were all cunning old foxes; there was no need to play games.

“Since you also discovered it, why don’t we go check it out together?”

“Alright.”

The two walked side by side on the empty street, dead leaves swirling at their feet in the wind. One floated towards Fu Lanyu.

Qiao Yunzheng reached out from beside her and removed the fallen leaf from her shoulder. The gesture was natural, as if habitual, even causing him to momentarily freeze in surprise.

Fu Lanyu glanced at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She finally stopped in front of that familiar door. Sure enough, the bloody handprint she had wiped away yesterday had reappeared today. She gripped the doorknob, and with a slight twist, a soft click was heard.

The door, which had been tightly shut yesterday, now opened easily.

She and Qiao Yunzheng exchanged a look, stepped across the threshold simultaneously, and then closed the door again.

“Someone followed us,” she said. “It seems their reconnaissance skills aren’t great. All their intelligence is spent on dating.”

Undoubtedly, it was the couple who had followed them.

Qiao Yunzheng smiled and nodded. “That’s why I didn’t want to ally with them. I hate watching people date.”

“…You certainly have a personality.”

The house wasn’t large. The entrance hallway was narrow, leading after a few steps to a dimly lit outer room. In the room were a wooden table, two chairs, and an old television set to the side.

The TV was on, displaying a snowy screen from a lost signal, emitting a crackling sound. A few more steps led to a bedroom. Strangely, the bedroom door was open and unlocked.

On the bedroom floor, black stains, resembling asphalt, were mottled and coagulated. Preliminary assessment suggested they were old bloodstains from years ago. The bedroom layout was very simple, with nothing but a bed.

The bed was covered with bedding embroidered with rich peonies, and the pillows were embroidered with mandarin ducks, looking like items for a newlywed couple.

Standing incongruously by the bed were two picture frames. Each frame contained a photo of a young woman; it was the same beautiful woman with a gentle smile.

The difference was that in the left frame, the woman wore a pure white wedding dress with a wreath of olive branches on her head, while in the right frame, she wore a vibrant red Xiuhe dress with peonies of the same color in her hair.

Fu Lanyu looked up and saw two nails for hanging pictures on the wall directly above the bed.

“It looks like we have to choose one picture frame to hang.”

Qiao Yunzheng smiled. “So, which one should we hang?”