Dear Brother, Your Chest Wrap Has Fallen Off - Chapter 8

At three quarters past the Shi hours in the morning, when the sun, approaching noon, shone in through the wide-open windows of the hall, the prince, princess, and servants, dozens of pairs of eyes were fixed on Jiarou.

Although Zhao Yong’s business in Qiuci City was not very prosperous, he had always had some reputation in the countryside because he had followed General Cui and made friends with people in Qiuci in the past.

The teachers he recommended, apart from other things, definitely did not have bad character.

It’s just……

The princess herself asked in Tocharian, “He looks so young. How old is he?” She whispered to the prince, “He looks to be about fourteen or fifteen years old, how capable can he be? Even if he truly has great talent, how can he possibly control our third son…..”

Zhao Yong was delighted, knowing his chance to return home had arrived. He was about to open his mouth and speak frankly, but Jiarou had already spoken, “Twenty years old.” She pulled a stack of yellowed papers from her lapel and presented them to him with both hands, “This is the ‘official document,’ Your Highness. Please review it.”

The servant took the official document and presented it to the prince. The prince saw that it was clearly written, with a small flower calligraphy pattern recording the name, where he was from, the number of servants in the household, whether the servants were male or female, where he lived, and the size of his farmhouse…..

He was indeed twenty years old, from Taiping Lane, Chang’an. His family seemed to have a house and fields, and a group of servants, and was very wealthy.

Prince Baiyin nodded and whispered, “He speaks Tocharian fluently, much better than the five Central Plains teachers before him.”

Zhao Yong looked at Cui Jiarou in surprise. He had assumed she’d called herself “Pan An” on a whim, but he hadn’t imagined she’d planned it long ago, even going so far as to have an official document. This official document was clearly a fake, so where did she get the connections?

Jiarou took the document back and raised her eyebrows proudly at Zhao Yong.

If she hadn’t prepared in advance, how could she have dared to travel thousands of miles alone? The huge amount of valuables she spent were definitely not just for food and drink.

She smiled at Prince Baiyin and said, “Most men in the Central Plains are delicate. This younger generation looks so young, let Prince and Princess see a joke.”

Since the official document clearly stated this, the prince no longer worried about age. He said, “Since I’m seeking a tutor for my son, I have extremely high expectations for knowledge, etiquette, and the laws of the Great Sheng. This official document doesn’t mention your achievements, so I wonder if you…..”

“Tutor?” Cui Jiarou interrupted at the right moment, “This younger generation is here to thank the prince for Brother Bai Wula’s care along the way…..”

She looked at Zhao Yong in confusion, “How did it become looking for a tutor?”

Zhao Yong chuckled in his heart, thinking, she is really good at pretending.

Who doesn’t know how to act?

He said earnestly, “I know you are talented, so when you mentioned coming to see the prince, I thought you came to recommend yourself as a tutor. In that case, I misunderstood you.”

Taking advantage of the situation, he immediately said, “…..In that case, let’s bid farewell to the prince and return to the city.”

“There’s no need to be so hasty,” she said, raising her hand to stop him, looking sincerely at Prince Baiyin. “Since the Prince has spoken of seeking a tutor, this younger generation would like to ask what kind of tutor you’re seeking for your son? Do you want him to pass the provincial, metropolitan, and palace examinations, achieving a top-three finish and entering the imperial court as an official? Or do you want him to walk in Great Sheng elegantly while knowing full well of the situation, safe and stable?”

Prince Baiyin was stunned. “What’s the difference? Isn’t it the same teaching?”

“It’s vastly different. If you want to take the imperial examination, you must first learn to recognize Chinese characters. There are over 6,000 commonly used Chinese characters. A child prodigy can learn 30 characters a day, and it will take a year to complete the learning. Another two years are needed to open up the knowledge. Don’t miss the “Three Character Classic”, “Hundred Family Names”, and “Thousand Character Classic”. If you are bright, you can spend another ten years studying the Four Books and Five Classics. “The Analects of Confucius”, “Zuo Zhuan”…..”

She listed twenty or thirty books by sages, then continued, “Of course, since your son is the youngest, he should be a little kid with full potential who inherited the intelligence of the prince and princess. As long as he studies for twenty years, he will definitely pass the imperial examinations and rank in the first three places in the imperial examinations. When the time comes, he will be draped in red silk, ride a royal horse, and walk the streets, showing off the name of Qiuci. What an honor!”

She spoke so naturally, as if she really didn’t know that the third son Bai was already sixteen years old, the same age as her. If he studied for another twenty years, he would be old enough to have grandchildren.

“If you don’t want him to pursue a career in officialdom, what is the other kind of teaching method?”

“If you don’t want to pursue a career in officialdom, but simply want your esteemed son to see the world, then you should teach him the latest works of popular poets, so he can have something to write when he goes to a restaurant or winery. Practice tossing pots and ancient golf, hitting the target seven out of ten times, neither embarrassing oneself or others. Learn some poetic verses and rules, so that when the flowers wine games are played at a banquet, he can respond to wine orders. Learn how to serve and distinguish tea, understand wine tasting, and be good at making announcements…..”

Upon hearing this, the princess couldn’t help but doubt, “Isn’t this just teaching the youngster how to eat, drink, and have fun?”

Jiarou didn’t justify herself, and continued, “More importantly, he needs to know that the eldest son of Minister Wang’s family hates pepper the most. If anyone gives pepper as a gift to him in an attempt to make friends, it will backfire. The third son of Minister Zhang’s family, Minister Zhang of Rites, breaks out in rashes after drinking peach wine. Minister Zhang treasures this son the most and will be furious. The one called ‘Lord Hua’ refers to Minister Hua of the Ministry of Revenue, not Minister Hua of the Honglu Department….. If he gets these things wrong, he’ll probably get into trouble every day in Chang’an.”

Prince Baiyin was greatly surprised when he heard this.

No one had ever told him these, and like any other parent in the world, he assumed that hiring a teacher for his child was for academic instruction. His family had three sons, and the first two had made it through life in such a chaotic manner, yet they had managed to learn something loosely. If they didn’t get into trouble, it would be fine, but once they do, it would have been a disgrace to the Bai family’s ancestors’ faces in Chang’an.

After much thought, he decided that what he should look for for the third son was not a famous teacher who was well-versed in ancient and modern knowledge, but a knowledgeable Chang’an know-it-all.

So that’s how it is! So that’s how it is!

He laughed, intending to test her.

“If I were to write a poem in front of a winery or restaurant, what should I write?”

“Li Bai’s ‘To the Rain,’ Yu Shinan’s ‘Youth Gathering At The Inn,’ and Wang Ji’s ‘Wild King’ are all new creations, unlikely to be duplicated by others, so don’t miss them.”

“Chang’an has a hundred lanes. If the third son arrives in Chang’an and doesn’t want to be accommodated by the Honglu Department, which lane can he reside in?”

“Chongren Lane is the best. To the west is the Imperial City, closest to the government offices, so scoundrels don’t dare to act recklessly there. The southeast corner is the East Market. If all nations come to pay their respects, you can find all sorts of interesting things in these two markets. At sunset, although the gates are closed, people can walk around freely in the lane, and there’s no curfew to eat or listen to music.”

“If I want to go hunting in Mount Li, who should I go with?”

“Mount Li is a royal ranch, and entry is forbidden. However, if you befriend the Second Prince, who loves hunting, you can follow him. With two of Concubine Zhang’s cousins, both skilled in martial arts, accompanying you, you’ll be safe.”

At this point, she deliberately sighed, her face filled with annoyance. “Come to think of it, because this younger generation was going to Qiuci this year, the Second Prince’s hunting invitations had to be turned down twice. Wonder how long he’ll be angry.”

The princess was kind and honest, and was astonished when she heard this. “You are quite capable. You are so young, yet have such good relations with the sons of various princes and nobles.”

Jiarou thought to herself, of course, she had made friends with the rich young masters from various families since childhood, not just seeking help in times of need.

Prince Baiyin then asked, “If I were to find someone to teach the third son these things, do you have anyone to recommend?”

“This…..” She frowned, pondering. “Well-versed in etiquette, proficient in entertainment, and familiar with officials and royal families, able to find help in matters big and small….. These people have been living a life of luxury since childhood, free and easy, and unwilling to be ordered around. Even with this younger generation’s connections, it would be difficult to invite them all the way to the Western Regions…..”

Prince Baiyin smiled upon hearing this. He had already seen through her thoughts by this time, but he didn’t expose her. He simply asked, “Would you be willing to stay here and teach my third son? The tutor fee will surely satisfy you.”

What? Zhao Yong was shocked.

Just because Jiarou boasted like this, she was favored by the prince?

Jiarou, however, shook her head in a pretentious manner, “It’s not that this younger generation is being pretentious, it’s just that this younger generation has had very high standards for food, clothing, housing, and transportation since I was a child. This younger generation won’t wear anything but brocade, and can’t live without meat. This younger generation must live in a quiet single house, and must have a lot of servants to serve. Suffering the slightest injustice, would make this younger generation fall ill and can’t get up for ten days or half a month. It’s really…..”

“That’s right,” Zhao Yong quickly chimed in, “He’s rash and too spoiled to take on such a heavy responsibility.”

Prince Baiyin waved his hand and said, “A monthly supply of ten sheep, thirty catties of pork, five bolts of brocade, and the four treasures of the study are available for you to take as needed. There is also a large orchard two miles away. In two months, grapes, honeydew melons, and quinces will be ripe. You can enjoy them as you please….. plus a monthly stipend of one gold cake.”

With a “puff”, the yogurt Zhao Yong was drinking spurted out and he coughed violently.

A family of three in Chang’an lived comfortably, spending only a single gold cake a year; his inn barely made half a gold cake a month. With just a few words, that cunning Jiarou had managed to trick the prince into paying so much.

Jiarou was secretly delighted and was about to put on a look of hard-to-refuse kindness and reluctantly accepted, but Zhao Yong beside her suppressed a cough and said loudly, “No, absolutely not…..”

Zhao Yong said anxiously, “There’s a saying in the Central Plains: Once a teacher, always a teacher. It’s best to ask the third young master about such a lifelong matter. If he is unwilling, no matter how good the tutor is, it won’t matter.”

The princess felt this made perfect sense and said to the prince, “The five previous teachers all left because they couldn’t get along with the third son.”

The prince signaled his servant to invite the Third Young Master Bai over.

Before long, a Qiuci young man entered through the curtains. He had the same round face as the Baiyin Prince, with high eyebrows and deep eyes, looking about eighteen or nineteen. However, there was a hint of childishness in his expression which conformed to his actual age of sixteen.

The princess beckoned to him, “Come here and see the new teacher your father has invited for you.”

“Why did you hire someone again?” Third young master Bai was startled, his face falling. Following his mother’s gaze, his sight landed on Jiarou’s face, looked her up and down, and suddenly uttered a “Ha!” with disdain, “Could it be that Chang’an is out of people, so father chose a beardless brat? Son is unwilling, whoever fancies him can learn from him!”

Although he was also sixteen years old, he had some fine whiskers under his lips and sideburns, a man with a mustache above his mouth.

Although these words were not particularly pleasant to listen to, they reassured Zhao Yong. He seized the opportunity to stand up and clasp his hands together. “It is truly regrettable that Pan An and the third young master are not compatible. We will not trouble you any further, Your Highness. We will take our leave now.”

As noon approached, the sun was getting rather scorching. The uncle and nephew, who had hit a wall again on this trip, walked out of the pointed-roof hall accompanied by the housekeeper, passed through the waterside pavilion in the garden that was built in the style of the garden in Chang’an, and finally arrived outside through a hanging flower gate with a wide screen wall.

Third Young Master Bai had also come out first and was playing with two white dogs on the porch.

Zhao Yong turned around and said goodbye to the housekeeper.

Jiarou thought for a moment, then walked up to Third Young Master Bai and whispered a few words to him.

Third Young Master Bai, who had been lazy at first, was stunned for a moment, then suddenly showed signs of delight. He shouted eagerly, “Father, son likes this tutor! Son likes him!”

The vast grassy slopes stretched out into the distance, and the flocks of sheep from the prince’s family rolled around wantonly like pearls scattered on the grassland.

Not far from the Prince’s farm, Zhao Yong, leading his mule, with Jiarou, who had come to see him off, sighed deeply and said, “Uncle never imagined you’d ever become a tutor. It seems uncle has underestimated you.”

Jiarou was very proud, “I didn’t want to at first, but the prince gave too much.”

Yesterday she seized the opportunity to ask Bai Wula about Third Young Master Bai. Bai Wula talked for two hours, and to her, the only word he said was: dandy.

If we talked about the dandys in the world, she knew all too well about them.

Aside from storybooks, she had never heard of any dandy parents truly wanting their son to be successful, that was too far-fetched and unrealistic. As long as their unfilial son didn’t get into trouble when he went out, wasn’t chased or beaten, and didn’t get caught causing a ruckus by the censors and had a memorial reported to the emperor, they would be thankful.

She had been mulling over how to handle Third Young Master Bai all night. If she hadn’t been 90% sure, she wouldn’t have come here today.

Zhao Yong continued, “I’ve thought about it. There are so many people in the city, and there’s no guarantee someone will recognize you. This would be detrimental to both your reputation and safety. There are fewer people in the countryside, and the Prince’s Mansion has more guards, so it’s definitely safer than staying at the inn. Just remember, since you want to be Pan An, do it well and don’t let anyone guess your true identity.”

Jiarou nodded and said, “I was unable to wait for Sister Zhao Qing’er this time. Uncle, go back and tell her that I’ll go to the city to see her next time I have a day off.”

He smiled at her serious wording of “day off” and looked toward the gate of the manor. There, the tall and strong Third Young Master Bai, with deep eyes, was eagerly waiting for Jiarou.

He lowered his voice and said, “Tell me the truth. How did you make Third Young Master Bai cry and shout to change his mind?”

Jiarou bit her lip and said truthfully, “Ask him if he wants to learn how to roll the dice to create a single pillar…..”

“You! How can you teach this? Isn’t this corrupting people? If the prince finds out, he will not spare you!”

“How can you say corrupting him?” Jiarou cried out in injustice. “When he gets to Chang’an, he might be dragged into a gambling den. If he learns a few tricks beforehand, he won’t be fooled by others.”

“You…” Zhao Yong was choked. He had originally wanted to remind her that she was a woman and needed to take care of herself. But before he could say these words, he ended up saying, “Don’t bully the Third Young Master, and don’t set fire to the prince’s farm. Now that your father is gone, if you really get into trouble, your uncle alone won’t be able to save you.” Finished speaking, he then jumped on his mule, whipped it, and rode away.

Cui Jiarou watched as his figure moved further and further away and laughed out loud twice.

Finally, I will live a life with no worries about food and drink and money in my pocket!

Prince Baiyin really did what he said and allocated her an east-facing side courtyard in the manor and assigned her four male and female servants. Although the number of servants was far less than that of those she had in Chang’an, having fewer people had its advantages. With fewer people and fewer gossip, she could leisurely play her role as tutor Pan.

She had just set a rule for her servants that no one, male or female, was allowed to enter her room without permission, when the embroiderer from the prince’s mansion came to measure her body to make the last batch of spring clothes.

Dali’s stable was built in the courtyard in front of the wing room, separated from Jiarou by only a window. If the servants didn’t clean it promptly at night, the smell of donkey dung, tinged with the scent of green grass, would drift in through the cracks in the window, making her feel as if she were still at her grandfather’s stable in Chang’an and slept soundly .

As for teaching Third Young Master Bai, the prince’s manor has its own ready-made study for the master and apprentice to use.

There was a large window in the outer study. Every morning, when Prince Baiyin passed by with his fishing rod, he could personally hear his third son reciting poems seriously for the first time in his life, unlike in the past when he had been fighting with his teacher all day long. He could not help but secretly marvel and resolutely attributed the credit to himself. It was all due to his keen eye for talent, otherwise the third son would not have been as sensible as he was now.

Not long after the prince left, Third Young Master Bai memorized a poem in its entirety, although he recited it haltingly.

Jiarou poked her head out the window, looked around furtively, then closed the doors and windows, took out a cup, and whispered, “Yesterday I taught you how to use three dice to create a column. Today we’ll increase the number to five. Pay attention to my technique…..”

She raised the dice cup and gave it a good shake. When she set it down, the dice inside stopped rattling. She opened the lid, revealing five bone dice stacked neatly, standing firmly in a column.

“Wow…..” Third Young Master Bai’s deep eyes sparkled, “Master is so amazing!”

“Want to learn?”

“Want!”

With a “bang”, a brand new volume of the Book of Songs was slammed onto the table. “Guofeng·Zhounan·Guanju, copy it ten times first.”

The author has something to say:

Cui Jiarou: This tutor greets you. General Xue, please go back.

Xue Lang: You will be in trouble tomorrow.

Cui Jiarou: Haha.