Dear Brother, Your Chest Wrap Has Fallen Off - Chapter 2

The calf’s cries were filled with pain. Cui Jiarou cast a glance at the calf’s swollen belly and tightened her grip on the reins. After two breaths, she finally bit her lip, lowered her head and said in a gruff voice, “It should be abdominal disease, a common disease of cattle and sheep. It can be cured and is easy to cure.”

The square-faced brother arrived a moment late and did not see the scene of his general being teased for the first time. Instead, he saw Xue Lang’s face darken for some unknown reason. He thought that he was blaming him for his incompetence, so he hurriedly stepped forward and whispered to Xue Lang, “Grand Protector, this kid sounds like he has some abilities. Why not let him try first?”

Recently, the Anxi Protectorate was restarted and the military farming system was implemented. The Protectorate had been purchasing cattle, horses and sheep one after another, which would be distributed to the soldiers at a scheduled time.

It’s just that a few of the herdsmen who came from the Central Plains were not used to the local climate and had been vomiting and having diarrhea for many days;  it was difficult for them to recover completely. He sent another letter to Chang’an to ask them to send more people, but for the time being, they couldn’t afford to delay. The Protectorate intended to recruit local personnel, but was also worried that Turkic spies would take the opportunity to infiltrate, so they came up with a plan. It so happened that the cattle and sheep fell ill so they ordered people to come to this market, waiting for opportunities.

When implementing the garrison system, livestock was a big deal, so the Grand Protector Xue Lang specially appointed his own guards to be in charge of this matter.

This square-faced guard was called Wang Huaian. He had mingled here for four to five days and even knew which dancers outside had calluses on the soles of their feet. However, he had not yet met a satisfactory veterinarian.

Coincidentally, Xue Lang also came early in the morning today. He must be dissatisfied with his progress and wanted to supervise it personally.

He was feeling nervous and waited on the side for Xue Lang’s instructions.

Xue Lang lowered his eyelids and after several breaths, he sat back on the hu bed with a calm expression.

Wang Huaian sighed and raised his hand to Jiarou, “Please!”

Jiarou led the donkey to a nearby poplar tree, walked lightly to the side of the calf, raised her hand and stroked the calf’s forehead, whispering, “Don’t be afraid, I’ll heal you soon.”

After a pause, she thought this cow was most likely bought from the Westerners living in Qiuci, and was not raised by the square-faced man since childhood, so she translated it seriously into Tocharian and Sogdian.

“△○☆□%*&○☆□%……” (Don’t be afraid, I’ll heal you soon(

“*￥%#@）￥#！……”

I don’t know which language Xiao Niu understood, but he stuck out his tongue and licked her palm, and he indeed became less anxious.

It’s unknown which language the calf understood, but it stretched its tongue and licked her palm. Sure enough, it became a little less anxious. 

She moved gently, squatted down and lightly touched the calf’s bulging belly, only to find that the part that should have been soft had become as hard as a pancake that had been left out for a long time, and she had to use force to press it down.

Just as she expected, it was indeed a stomach problem, caused by the poor quality of the fodder for cattle and horses, which fermented and inflated the abdominal cavity.

This was originally a minor disease. Common cattle and horses would recover by reducing their fodder and starving them for two days. It was rare to see a calf with such a serious disease. It was obvious that the person who raised the cattle was a complete layman.

Influenced by her grandfather and uncles, she hated to see livestock suffer from illness and pain, so she did not delay any longer and used her hidden ability to massage and press the calf’s abdomen.

After a quarter of an hour, the calf’s belly became softer and softer, and a smell of rotting grass gradually spread around in the surrounding area.

Soon, Wang Huaian came to her side. She thought he was concerned about the calf, but he asked, “Would you like to sell the skinny donkey under the tree?”

She narrowed her eyes, “What do you want it for?”

“My family’s Ah Lang loves eating donkey meat,” he added, “I will buy it from you at a high price.”

Jiarou’s face immediately turned black.

It was just a “praise” due to misunderstanding. If anyone wanted to seek revenge, they should have come after her. How could it be considered heroic of him to attack a donkey?

“Not selling, it’s less than a year old!”

He thought she meant the donkey was too small and didn’t have much meat, so he said, “Young man, perhaps you haven’t eaten donkey meat often. Do you know the difference between a skinny donkey and a fat pig? I’ve never seen a donkey as skinny as this one, but with such strong limbs.”

Of course not! People usually choose horses, mules and camels when they travel long distances. She ran away from home in a hurry, fearing alerting the enemy. She didn’t dare to move any of the horses in her family’s huge stable, so she just pulled a donkey. The donkey was only six months old at the time, and followed her all the way through the snow-capped mountains and deserts. Its strong limbs and thin body were the result of hard training along the way.

This was her heart’s flesh and blood. How could anyone want to eat it?

Cui Jiarou bit her molars and looked at Xue Lang with narrowed eyes.

Right at this moment, another man came hurriedly and handed Xue Lang a letter. He was very respectful, as if he was worried that the ferocious beast in front of his eyes would pounce out and eat people if he was not careful.

She clenched her fist and pointed her chin towards Xue Lang, “He is your family’s Ah Lang? The one who likes to eat donkey?”

“Exactly.” Wang Huaian continued to persuade her, “Young man, sell your donkey and get some money, then you can buy some decent clothes to wear.”

Jiarou thought for a while, and finally put on a bright smile, “What you said is true, I will come to negotiate the price with you after I cure the calf. The calf is starting to pass gas now, you can first remind your family’s Ah Lang to listen carefully…..”

Seeing that Xiao Niu’s mouth and nose were visibly redder due to Jiarou’s kneading, Wang Huaian happily returned to Xue Lang’s side. He saw that Xue Lang was reading the newly received letter in his hand with a rare frown on his face. Perhaps he had encountered some difficult problems, so he did not say much and just stood aside waiting.

Xue Lang continued staring at the letter in his hand. He just raised his eyebrows and motioned for him to speak.

He whispered, “Grand Protector, this young man seems to have some skills and is smart. If he has a clean background, he can be recruited to the Protectorate to help the Shepherd Supervisor.”

Only then did Xue Lang slightly raise his eyelids, glanced at something not far away, and said in a mild voice, “Discuss it again later,” and then lowered his head to continue reading the letter.

This was a letter from a colleague in the Ministry of War in Chang’an, sent through the Ministry of War’s special road, saying that Cui Jiarou, the eldest daughter of the deceased former Grand Protector General Cui, left home two months ago in anger, and until now there has been no trace of her. General Cui had defeated the Turkic invaders many times in the Western Regions, and the Turkic people hated him so much, even after his death. The Cui family was afraid that the Turkic people were involved in Cui Jiarou’s disappearance, so they secretly commissioned people from all sides to search for her.

The disappearance of a woman of marriageable age was no small matter. Even if she was safe and sound outside, her pure reputation would be harmed. The incident happened two months ago, but the letter was only received now. It was evident that the Cui family had been searching for a long time without success, so they had no choice but to entrust an outsider.

However, this colleague was very cautious, fearing that the letter would fall into the wrong hands and alert the Turks, so he did not attach a portrait. He only gave a rough description of her appearance in the letter, saying that she had bright eyes, white teeth, and a graceful figure.

He skipped the first few sentences and was about to continue reading when he suddenly heard a low sound of air flow coming from nearby, and the surrounding area was filled with a pungent smell of rancid meat.

Looking up, they found that the boy in tattered clothes had led the calf a few steps away at an unknown time. The calf’s tail was facing the two of them, and the sound of air flow seemed to come from the calf’s tail.

Wang Huaian helped to explain, “This is the calf starting to pass gas…”

“There is a way that’s most effective to see clearly, definitely won’t deceive all of you.” Jiarou said loudly, took out a tinder from her bosom, pulled off the lid, put the tinder close to the calf’s tail, and before blowing to light it, she waved to the two of them, “Come a bit closer…..”

Wang Huaian followed his instructions and stretched his neck forward again.

Xue Lang suddenly sensed something fishy in her actions, so he stuffed the letter into his sleeve and said suspiciously, “Seems there is…..”

Before the two words “something’s wrong” came out of his mouth, a muffled “bang” was heard, and a wave of fire instantly spurted out from the calf’s tail and headed straight towards the two men’s faces.

“Be careful!” Wang Huaian shouted loudly, and hurried to protect Xue Lang, but was grabbed by Xue Lang and rolled on the ground, barely avoiding the gushing flames.

By the time the two men got up, the fire caused by the calf’s fart had gone out.

The culprit and his donkey had disappeared without a trace, leaving only a pile of used pots and pans under the poplar tree.

The calf, however, no longer looked sick, but was full of vitality, and was not frightened by the sudden raging fire. A torn robe with a hole in it appeared at an unknown time on its hindquarters, which was used to put out the flames and prevent it from getting burned.

Wang Huaian’s face was burning, but he didn’t care about himself and first checked Xue Lang. Seeing that there were no injuries except for two small holes on his sleeves, he breathed a sigh of relief and asked for orders, “Grand Protector, that kid is so evil, unexpectedly able to use cow farts to assassinate. He might be a spy, this humble officer will bring some people to catch him back at once!”

“No need to chase the scoundrel.” Xue Lang stood with his hands behind his back and said, “Pass words to the herdsman that no fodder should be stored in the cowshed for sick cows, guard against fire, move them out immediately.”

“Follow the command!” The square-faced brother hastily led the calf away. 

There was a slight breeze and the branches above his head were swaying.

Xue Lang brushed off the dust on his sleeves, strolled unhurriedly forward, squatted down at the place where the skinny donkey was originally parked, found a dry branch and rummaged through the pile of leftover pots and pans.

After a few breaths, he picked up a copper bowl with two handles.

The copper bowl was heavy and had a lotus pattern on its edge, which symbolizes good luck. It was a very valuable tableware. However, there were many scratches on it, which showed that the user did not care about its value.

Where the lotus pattern ended, there was an engraving of a character the size of a fly’s head.

When he saw the character, his eyebrows raised unconsciously.

Rou.

　　-

Zhao Yong, his head sweating profusely, hurried to the Anxi Protectorate to report to the authorities.

He had an old injury on his leg, as he was about to pass by the gate of the big market, he was knocked off balance by a boy who rushed out.

He couldn’t be bothered about it and was about to leave, but the youngster grabbed him and called out, “Uncle Zhao!”

The voice was very clear.

He couldn’t help but slow down his pace and turned around, only to see a very handsome young man in front of him, but his face was covered with some black dust and his clothes were shabby. He had no outer robe but a winter coat on the outside, not looking much better than those beggars who stretched out their hands to ask for money.

He looked her up and down for a long while, and finally saw something familiar on her cat-like face, “Ah Rou?”

“Uncle, you are really amazing. Your eyes are like gods and your sword is still sharp!” Jiarou didn’t bother to exchange pleasantries with him. She looked back and pushed and pulled, “Let’s go quickly, I’m so tired!” She first had to take Zhao Yong further away.

Qiuci opened its trading market much earlier than Chang’an. Half a day just passed, and the streets were already bustling with people going back and forth.

The vast numbers of caravans continued to move towards the Household Affairs Office; the local residents also came out lazily to bask in the sun; the sturdy Kunlun slaves, with their upper bodies naked, shuttled through the streets carrying rattan baskets, the silver rings on their wrists and ankles jingled crisply.

Jiarou was covered in dust and dirt, and Zhao Yong was no less so. The two of them blended into the crowd and disappeared without a trace.

Jiarou heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that there were no military pursuers. However, beside her ear, Zhao Yong had been nagging for a long time, asking her why she came to the Western Region.

Zhao Yong asked her repeatedly, but she just kept her mouth shut. Finally, he stopped walking and said with a dark face, “If that’s the case, I’ll write a letter back to Chang’an. Your uncle, Assistant Minister An, is in charge of the carriages and horses in the palace, I don’t believe that he can’t organize a few teams to catch you.”

“Don’t!” Jiarou said hurriedly, then she stammered, “They asked me to get married, but I’m not happy…..”

Zhao Yong’s eyes widened. So, she is fleeing to avoid an arranged marriage?

Seeing that the truth had been revealed, Jiarou did not hide it any more and described how her grandfather, her uncle, and her mother smiled with joy when they saw the young man, all the way to how even the livestock on the horse farm were having fun.

The more Zhao Yong listened, the more puzzled he became. From the sound of it, the man looks just like Pan An*, has a reliable character, and has a good family background. Which part is this ancestor not satisfied with? !

[*Note: Pan Yue (247-300), courtesy name Anren , later known as Pan An , was an official and writer of the Western Jin Dynasty. Pan Yue was a man of great literary talent and handsome. Later generations used the phrase “as handsome as Pan An” to describe a handsome man. Source: Wikipedia – Pan An]

“But,” she finally talked about the turning point, “he was the man who beat the horse in the street back then. This kind of person could beat the horse in the past, and he is likely to whip me in the future. I can’t understand why my grandparents and uncles, who  love horses the most, can look up to this kind of person!”

Zhao Yong was stumped by the question. After thinking for a long time, he guessed, “The Cui family and the An family have chosen a husband for you together. They must have investigated everything clearly. Is there a misunderstanding here?”

He concentrated and thought hard, but could not remember how the unlucky man argued back then. He only vaguely remembered that the man had two of his teeth broken from the fall, his mouth was full of blood, and he spoke “ah-woo” and “ah-woo”, which was very difficult to understand.

“Uncle, if you think it’s a misunderstanding, then you should just marry him. If he beats you in the future, you just happen to be good at martial arts, so you can fight against him.” Jiarou said with dissatisfaction.

“What nonsense!” Zhao Yong couldn’t help but smile bitterly. After thinking about it, he didn’t want to push her too much. What if he provoked this girl to rebel and she ran away again like a wisp of smoke? Where should he look for her? For now, he had to keep her stable and then secretly send a letter to Chang’an.

He wanted to understand the matter, and then changed the topic, “Since you are leaving, why don’t you take more soldiers and slaves on the road with you? There are many horse thieves in Hexi, how dare you go alone? Now you are in such a state…..”

“I bring! ‘Da Li’ has been protecting me all the way, totally competent!”

Zhao Yong’s tense heart relaxed a little.

Dali, this name sounds like he has some skills.

“Where is the person?” He turned around and looked back. People were coming and going behind him, but he didn’t see any heroic slave following them.

Cui Jiarou turned around and stroked the donkey’s head. “Da Li has been with me all the way. Even though it is less than a year old, it carried me and ran away in an instant when the horse thieves came. It is the smartest in the world!”

Zhao Yong’s crippled leg stumbled.

It’s a donkey!

“As for my attire…” She chose her words carefully, “I have to disguise myself when traveling long distances. In case I am spotted by General Cui’s enemies, I will be walking into the tiger’s mouth!”

“What General Cui? He is your father!” Zhao Yong felt helpless for a while, but also felt a bit comforted.

She disguised herself as a man and dressed so poorly, apparently to hide her identity, and it was considered a success. The girl had indeed grown up, and was no longer as impulsive as she was three years ago.

Walking all the way, from the outside of the market, passers-by greeted Zhao Yong when they saw him, bowing and showing great respect.

She looked around the busy street, “Where is uncle’s inn? I have even brought some business for you. The brothers from the Bai family caravan will come over to stay at the inn by noon at the latest.”

As she was talking, she could already see the vertical banner to attract customers of the inn at the intersection ahead, fluttering in the wind, and the word “An” could be vaguely seen.

She immediately took two steps at a time and reached the intersection, with her arms outstretched, she shouted loudly, “Let me see uncle’s golden achievements!”

She jumped around the corner and stood at the door of the inn, a bright smile still hanging on her face, but her steps paused.

The plaque on the lintel, with the three words “Chang’an Inn” was very majestic and bold.

The building with the plaque was a two-story earthen house made of rammed earth. From the outside, It looked like it had once been painted, but now the paint had peeled off, and it did not look much better than a dilapidated temple.

Due to poor lighting, it looked cold and dark inside, as if there was not even a single living person in the room.

“This is…..” Jiarou looked back.

Zhao Yong looked embarrassed and took a step forward to help her hold Dali. “We have arrived home, go in and have a rest first. I will ask your aunt to make you roasted lamb…..”