Can I Become Emperor by Being This Lazy? - Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Like a string of firecrackers igniting one after another, the crowd’s fervor soared. The constables saw the irreversible tide—resisting meant death, yet failing their duties would also mean execution before the magistrate. Choosing pragmatism over futility, they joined the uprising.

After a brief hesitation, the constables turned their blades toward the government office, raising their arms and shouting, For righteousness! For peace!

The people’s morale surged. Someone yelled, Grab your tools! Let’s offer the dog official’s head to the heavens!

The crowd flooded into the magistrate’s compound.

Xu Mao turned pale, stunned by how explosively the public’s emotions had erupted. She leaped off the platform and rushed toward a side entrance, chasing after them. Don’t be reckless! It’s dangerous—come back!

Nearby citizens heard her, their eyes brimming with tears. Even now, she cared for their safety—unlike others who would sacrifice them as cannon fodder without a second thought.

Their hearts swelled with fervor, blood boiling as if infinite strength coursed through them. A keen observer glanced back at Xu Mao.

Sure enough, she watched them with deep concern, drenched in sweat, lips ashen, as if severely drained—exactly as she had appeared after reviving someone with her breath days before.

The observer immediately understood, shouting, The heavenly maiden has unleashed her divine power! We’re now strong and tireless—charge ahead!

The crowd indeed felt invigorated and spirited, impervious to pain from blows or injuries. Moved and exhilarated, they clenched their fists and stormed recklessly into the compound.

Unaware of the bizarre assumptions they’d concocted, Xu Mao despaired. I didn’t use any divine power! This is just an adrenaline rush—it has nothing to do with me!

Her voice drowned in the crowd’s fervent cries as they broke into the offices, fighting unimpeded until they reached Gou Guan, who had been leisurely sipping tea.

A minor official was kicked flying, landing with a thud at Gou Guan’s feet, vomiting blood. Clutching Gou Guan’s leg, he gasped, Your Honor, it’s chaos—Xu Mao has incited a rebellion…

Gou Guan’s face fell, and he instinctively tried to flee, but the official clung tightly. Panicked, Gou Guan kicked him away.

The next moment, the rioters stood before him. Gnashing his teeth, Gou Guan roared, You useless fool! They’re already here, and you’re just reporting it now?

He then turned to the mob, snarling, What are you doing? Rebellion warrants execution of nine generations—dare you test this?

Protected by the heavenly maiden, the people showed no fear. They spat at Gou Guan, unleashing pent-up grievances. Spit on you, dog official! You feast on delicacies every meal, yet not only refuse to open granaries but also covet our farmlands. You brought this upon yourself!

Gou Guan’s heart sank. Sensing danger, he braced against the table, struggling to stand steady. His mind raced, and he swiftly changed tactics, swallowing hard. It’s not too late to see reason. Don’t be deceived by that Enchantress Xu Mao. I know you’re under her Sorcery, your minds clouded… I won’t hold you accountable—

We’ve never been clearer-headed.

The crowd paid no heed. Working together, they seized Gou Guan—one person binding his arms, another pressing down his legs—adopting the fervor of slaughtering pigs for the New Year as they slit his throat with a blade.

Hearing Gou Guan’s piercing, agonized screams, the minor official who had returned to report the news shrank into a corner, trembling uncontrollably.

Butcher Tang beheaded Gou Guan, then felt a chill run down her spine. Looking closer, she saw Gou Guan’s eyes wide open, staring blankly. She dug out the eyeballs and tossed them into the dust, disgustedly remarking, How revolting!

As the crowd carried Gou Guan’s head outside, Xu Mao happened to push through the throng and arrive. They joyfully presented the severed head to her, saying, Heavenly Maiden, we’ve brought you the dog official’s head.

Suddenly confronted with a bloody, decapitated head, Xu Mao gasped, her teeth chattering from the cold shock. She couldn’t help but exclaim, You all work so quickly…

Not bad, Heavenly Maiden, you flatter us.

Most of the crowd felt embarrassed by the praise, especially Butcher Tang.

Butcher Tang had inherited her father’s trade and taken a husband into her family. Unfortunately, fate was unkind—she lost her husband early and had to uphold the butchering business alone, often looked down upon by others. Now, receiving praise from a divine heavenly maiden, she hurriedly lowered her head to hide her flushed cheeks.

Xu Mao was taken aback. Give them an inch, and they take a mile.

What was done could not be undone. Xu Mao had no choice but to accept it, though she made one last small struggle. There’s no need to call me Heavenly Maiden. I’ve said before, I am not a heavenly maiden.

The crowd showed understanding expressions and promptly changed their address, solemnly stating, Yes, Madam Xu. We were thoughtless—we mustn’t let others know your identity.

Xu Mao nearly fainted on the spot upon hearing this. Resigned, she let the matter drop and casually pointed to someone, instructing, Clean up this place, take a headcount. If any villagers are injured, summon a physician immediately—don’t delay.

With County Magistrate Gou Guan dead, his family and Mei Shuyan had fled, their whereabouts unknown. Leaderless, the officials who had followed Gou Guan in his wicked deeds, fearing Xu Mao would hold them accountable, put up a desperate resistance and ultimately joined Gou Guan on the Road to the Underworld. The remaining minor officials and attendants surrendered, but the matter was far from over.

The uprising of the Huaining commoners would surely draw suppression from the imperial court. The timid wealthy families in the county packed their belongings and fled, while many others, relying on their influence in Huaining, waited for the court to quell the rebellion.

Xu Mao knew well that the imperial troops were well-trained and that the commoners stood no chance against them. This uprising was likely doomed to fail.

Setting her mind at ease, she distributed all the grain stored in the government granaries, ensuring the people wouldn’t be left without food after the rebellion was crushed, having followed her in vain.

With numerous miscellaneous tasks, she and Xu Heng were overwhelmed. Xu Mao quickly selected a few commoners and surrendered minor officials as assistants, among whom the most capable was Tang Guihua, a butcher who had learned a little literacy from her educated husband.

After delegating the tasks, Xu Mao could finally relax.

At dinner, Xu Heng suddenly spoke up, Elder Sister, what should we do with the county magistrate’s corpse? Aunt Tang asked me to consult you—do you have any other arrangements? If not, she’ll just toss it into the unmarked burial ground.

Xu Mao was momentarily stunned, the bloody head reappearing vividly in her mind. The food in her mouth instantly lost its flavor.

She had intended to nod and let them handle it as they saw fit, but Xu Heng’s mention sparked another idea. Why not use these people to tarnish her own negative image?

Xu Mao pondered silently for a moment, …Tomorrow, drag his corpse along with the other officials’ bodies to the marketplace. I want to publicly flog the corpses.

Xu Heng looked up in astonishment, as if she had misheard.

Exactly. These corrupt officials have been tyrannizing Huaining for years, oppressing the people and sucking them dry. Flogging their corpses is the only way to vent my hatred. Xu Mao was particularly satisfied with her reaction and repeated the statement with emphasized intensity.

Not even letting the dead rest—how brutal is that? What kind of heavenly maiden could be so vicious?

Xu Mao smiled faintly.

Xu Heng furrowed her brows slightly before speaking slowly after a long pause: Flogging the corpses alone might not be enough. Given everyone’s hatred for the county magistrate, perhaps we should also skin them, pull out their tendons, drain their blood, slice their flesh, and distribute it to be eaten. Only then would it be sufficient.

This way, we can both vent the people’s accumulated resentment and make them more favorable toward you, willingly submitting to your rule, while also intimidating the wealthy families who colluded with the magistrate. Two birds with one stone. Xu Heng analyzed seriously, completely unaware of how terrifying her words sounded.

Ah, are you serious?

Xu Mao’s smile froze. She thought public corpse flogging was already perverted enough, but she never expected her adorable younger sister to be even more twisted than her!

Xu Mao reexamined Xu Heng, repeatedly checking her attributes.

Nothing abnormal. Why did she feel there was something oddly off about Xu Heng, who occasionally uttered words terrifying enough to make her soul flee?

Sister, what’s wrong? Did I say something incorrect?

Xu Heng tilted her head, her round eyes clear and transparent, now filled with confusion. She didn’t appear to be hiding any ulterior motives.

Xu Mao submitted an anomaly detection request through the System, pressed her forehead, and shook her head: Nothing. Cannibalism is harmful to health and might cause diseases. Not good. Flogging the corpses is enough.

Alright, I’ll listen to you, sister. Xu Heng curved her eyes into smiling crescents.

[Dear Player, your submitted anomaly detection request regarding Character Xu Heng’s attributes… has been completed. No abnormalities detected. Wishing you a pleasant gaming experience.]

Xu Mao was awakened by the System notification. Rubbing her eyes, she checked the detection results—indeed, no abnormalities. Completely reassured, she got up to grab her whip and go whip some corpses.

When the common people heard that Xu Mao intended to publicly flog the corrupt officials’ corpses, they treated it as a once-in-a-century celebration. Entire families turned out, gathering early at the marketplace in dense, packed crowds, spectators forming impenetrable layers.

The corpses of Gou Guan and others had been placed on the platform as instructed by Xu Mao. To avoid frightening children, they were temporarily covered with hemp cloth.

Arriving at the scene, Xu Mao was startled by the size of the crowd. Just how evil had Huaining County’s officials been that so many people would eagerly come watch their corpses being whipped even after death?

She couldn’t understand it.

Xu Mao ascended the platform to perform: These corrupt officials exploited their own kin, amassed ill-gotten wealth, enforced brutal policies, and squeezed the people to the bone—they truly deserved their deaths. Today, I shall carry out heaven’s justice by exposing their corpses here and whipping them hundreds of times to vent the accumulated hatred of our fellow villagers over the years.

Good! the crowd cheered.

Madam Xu, you must whip them fiercely!

The crowd below was entirely supportive. Xu Mao lifted the hemp cloth, gripped her long whip, set the actions, and handed control over to the System so she could slack off in the System space.

At noon, the scorching sun blazed like fire. Xu Mao stood under the sunlight, whipping the corpses punctually.

With each lash from Xu Mao, the crowd cheered. Every whipping motion was powerfully executed—the angle and position perfectly precise—tearing the corpses’ skin and flesh apart to reveal ghastly white bones.

It was about time. Xu Mao came out to adjust her position, changing spots to continue the whipping on autopilot.

The sound of lashing continued until dusk. The common folks felt thoroughly refreshed, but as the novelty wore off, watching the repetitive motions became somewhat tedious, and everyone’s attention began to drift.

Sister Mao is truly amazing. She’s been at it for so long without showing any sign of fatigue. If it were me, I wouldn’t even be able to lift my arms, Zhang Guishang said, gazing at Xu Mao with admiration.

Of course! Madam Xu is no ordinary person. How could we common folk compare to a heavenly maiden?

Zhang Guishang was confused by their words and asked doubtfully, But didn’t Sister Mao say she isn’t actually a deity?

Someone nearby raised a finger to their lips and shushed her. We know about this, but don’t spread it around and cause trouble for Madam Xu. Remember—what heavenly maiden? Madam Xu is no heavenly maiden!